The Curse of the Plnk Ranter

[Caryh 5,206]

pretty much...ya. I keep thinking "how did I not see this" but honestly not going to take on all the blame..his mother and (hubs) lied about a lot of things whenever I visited. Things came out only after I was already here and married (and if i am honest with myself ...2 or 3 months before I came here there was a feeling some things don't add up). BUT he is also a bit different from his brothers..he recognizes the fact that it is absolutely not right to be this dependent on family and knows that he needs to leave and grow up - he is scared to death and that is where I come in - if i am around he feels secure and like i will take care of him. It is ok to a point and it does leave me alone and feeling abandoned when I need him to stand up to things and be a man but I guess that is what I signed up for at the end of the day.

He said if i got the job at NYU he would get his GED and get a degree from there for sure (all of a sudden..probably cause its NYU and if he passed up on that he would be crazy). Part of me feels like he knew that if he married me he would get to do things he would never have the guts to do by himself and saw an opportunity in me. I am glad and at the same time annoyed if it makes any sense lol Like...you cannot get stuff done on your own so you married me so i get you places (and if i dont you will be annoyed about it). I am not perfect I got negative sides and that is one of them.

Prayers that is all works out for the good. At least he see's things ain't right. That is a step in the right direction. Now he just needs that kick out of the nest, and with a touch of success, maybe he can learn how good it feels to succeed on his own with something.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Cary, I completely agree and on one hand I feel sorry for those girls, but on another it is almost like both parties are using each other?

Perhaps because they believe people at their word or they assumed things they shouldn't have (the typical the streets are paved in gold in America assumption).

_-----

Going to the gym this morning if my iPhone would finish charging.

And OMG guys like the most exciting thing happened ever, I got a $123 dollar child support payment. I guess this means he's going to be paying it off in an extra $26 a month? LOL! Sometimes I wonder about the system.

[SAT 9,609]

I dun care what anyone says....80% of immigrants, I dun care what Visa category, are economical immigration.

Tiff included.....now she just happened to have found a sucker...I mean love.... while doing it.....(she better love me, I kill her)

Going to the gym this morning if my iPhone would finish charging.

And OMG guys like the most exciting thing happened ever, I got a $123 dollar child support payment. I guess this means he's going to be paying it off in an extra $26 a month? LOL! Sometimes I wonder about the system.

You only get 97 dollars a month??

[Darnell 8,479]

iirc,

spouses of NYU employees get free tuition at NYU,

so he's really gonna be on a semi-public benefit, after all.

All Hail Moving out of Momma's House !

[apologies if I seem vitriolic today, I am cranky from lack o sleep - today was supposed to be a day at the house and I have to be elsewhere]

[SAT 9,609]

I can't eat anything gotta get another scan at 1.....

iirc,

spouses of NYU employees get free tuition at NYU,

so he's really gonna be on a semi-public benefit, after all.

really? I thought spouses are discounted. The employee himself is free.

NYU has turned into a superlib school now. No like....

[Caryh 5,206]

Cary, I completely agree and on one hand I feel sorry for those girls, but on another it is almost like both parties are using each other?

Perhaps because they believe people at their word or they assumed things they shouldn't have (the typical the streets are paved in gold in America assumption).

_-----

Going to the gym this morning if my iPhone would finish charging.

And OMG guys like the most exciting thing happened ever, I got a $123 dollar child support payment. I guess this means he's going to be paying it off in an extra $26 a month? LOL! Sometimes I wonder about the system.

I don't think its normally the case of either party using the other, its much more likely they just don't know each other. They think they love someone, but they're really in love with an idea in their head, and thats from both ends. When that idea in their head gets shattered with reality, that's when the marriage breaks down and claims of fraud and abuse pop up. What is abuse in the Philippines, is much different than what's abuse in the USA. Raise your voice even a little in an argument? Thats abuse over there. Here its pretty common and considered a heated argument. Say a swear word? Thats abuse over there, here again its pretty common. So now you have a Filipina feeling abused and an American guy thinking she ran out on him because it was her plan all along, so fraud. I've seen that more times than I can count. Heck I even needed to learn how to never let any emotion come into my voice if my wife and I had an argument, actually even arguments aren't allowed. You need to come at differences of opinion in an entirely different manner.

I knew a guy who drove his Filipina wife right out of the house because he was upset and dealing with it in a typical American way. Every time he tried to make up, he went right back to old habits, which chased her off again. He was positive she had scammed him. I think it took me about two months of talking with him until he finally learned how not to deal with a disagreement with a Filipina spouse. He even had an infopass all set up to report fraud. Now neither of them were angels in this, but it was part of their learning process of how to be a cross culture married couple. They're back together and very happy again. But they were a hair away from getting divorced with a scamming claim for two months. I doubt they would have gotten through it without me explaining a lot of things to him. Luckily she did on her side to, so things worked out.

[Darnell 8,479]

really? I thought spouses are discounted. The employee himself is free.

NYU has turned into a superlib school now. No like....

it's yer city - you check it out today, aye?

[SAT 9,609]

I'm pretty sure spouses/ dependents get discount tuition. Employees, free tuition. NYU ain't cheap bro....45-50K a year?

I took a few courses there....

[Caryh 5,206]

I dun care what anyone says....80% of immigrants, I dun care what Visa category, are economical immigration.

Tiff included.....now she just happened to have found a sucker...I mean love.... while doing it.....(she better love me, I kill her)

My wife would be in the 20% then. She was doing pretty darn good back in the Philippines. Both economically and in social stature. She kind of misses being the boss in her company to, although she doesn't miss the headaches of running a business.

iirc,

spouses of NYU employees get free tuition at NYU,

so he's really gonna be on a semi-public benefit, after all.

All Hail Moving out of Momma's House !

[apologies if I seem vitriolic today, I am cranky from lack o sleep - today was supposed to be a day at the house and I have to be elsewhere]

The misses kept Darklar busy all night?

[SAT 9,609]

well, yeah....I should correct myself....

80% economical combined with other reasons, ie falling in love.....

[Darnell 8,479]

sure ! forced training (I was forced) to train her mother on how to fill out the tourist visa application. My helper in Chengdu still not available.

No Sleep. Coffee was nice, though.

well, yeah....I should correct myself....

80% economical combined with other reasons, ie falling in love.....

Huh. I thought you married that pygmy for her cooking skills.

[SAT 9,609]

sure ! forced training (I was forced) to train her mother on how to fill out the tourist visa application. My helper in Chengdu still not available.

No Sleep. Coffee was nice, though.

welcome to my world to you too. Sucker

[JTB11 1,079]

I can't eat anything gotta get another scan at 1.....

really? I thought spouses are discounted. The employee himself is free.

NYU has turned into a superlib school now. No like....

I heard the same..that spouses are 80% off.

[SAT 9,609]

Huh. I thought you married that pygmy for her cooking skills.

It took me a long time to marry her, thats for sure lol. Sometimes I feel bad about it.

Who told her to be 18 when we met huh?

[JTB11 1,079]

well, yeah....I should correct myself....

80% economical combined with other reasons, ie falling in love.....

ya ! Like my hubs..he loves me and all but if he gets the extra benefits that's a cherry on the top except that i am the immigrant