The Curse of the Plnk Ranter

[NikLR 13,232]

Ex-BF was being a douche last night. Daughter was crying. She missed her last birthday because she was sick for 2 weeks (she has a tendency to be sick around her birthday but it's the first day of spring so lots of kids are sick that time of year.) So she tells him she's upset because I don't want to have a "family lunch" at the airport when I come to grab her to go visit my mom. I honestly don't think we have the time and told her that. Plus I think it's confusing for her, and told her she's my family and she's Daddy's family but Mommy and Daddy are not family. But I hadn't planned anything else as of yet, so she was upset that she wasn't going to do anything for her birthday again. She tells me she doesn't want to do anything with Daddy's family because she doesn't want to have to be nice to her cousins (3 little girls, minimum 4 years younger than her and as an only child, they drive her nutty quickly... after-all she's a pre-teen.)

I told him before talking to her, that I a) don't think I have time, I have to land, go through Canadian customs, go to the NEXUS office, pickup Tessa, check in again, and try to catch the flight. It's only two hours between landing and the next flight. And b) I don't want to eat with him, I would need to talk to my husband first about eating with him because my husband and Tessa are my family, not him, and c) I think it's too confusing for her. He doesn't know what it's like but I remember my parents being in relationships with other people and still wishing they'd get back together even when they never talked! Even my husband knows how she feels as his parents were split up too. So the ex tries to guilt trip me and was like "well I don't want to eat with you either but I'd do it to make her happy." and "you won't do anything to make her happy, you just think about yourself." When I say that's not it and stop trying to guilt trip me, "oh well the truth hurts doesn't it." Such a manipulative a$$hole. It is my weakness that I'm not there for her all the time. That I can't give her a hug, or a kiss goodnight, that I can't help her get ready for school or watch her basketball games. I chose to live with my husband far away and she wanted to live with her Dad. I wouldn't force them apart just to make me happy, but I also don't think I should have to live my life alone or in poverty barely getting by either. Maybe I should... I don't know. But I would do almost anything to make her happy, except divorce my husband to move back to Canada and spend time with her father without my husband present.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

NLR, that is totally understandable if you don't have the time. It is also understandable if you don't want to spend time with your ex.

She might be being unreasonable about it, but she will grow up and understand.

[NikLR 13,232]

I think she will eventually as well, she is just a little girl after all. I've tried to explain to her the best I know how.

She felt better when we made plans for her birthday. I told her I'd take her indoor mini-golfing and we'd have lunch or supper, just the two of us. I also told her to tell her Dad that if she wants to just spend time with him, and not the rest of his family for her birthday, she could ask him for that too.

Edited February 18, 2014 by NLR

[Ontarkie 14,561]

~~Mod hat on here-- Remove several post as it was bringing drama and personal attack from another thread. Do not continue in this fashion~~

[Vanitas 310]

Here we go...

[Merrytooth 5,748]

where is steveklar? Hopefully he is alive and ok.

[Darnell 8,479]

Ex-BF was being a douche last night. Daughter was crying. She missed her last birthday because she was sick for 2 weeks (she has a tendency to be sick around her birthday but it's the first day of spring so lots of kids are sick that time of year.) So she tells him she's upset because I don't want to have a "family lunch" at the airport when I come to grab her to go visit my mom. I honestly don't think we have the time and told her that. Plus I think it's confusing for her, and told her she's my family and she's Daddy's family but Mommy and Daddy are not family. But I hadn't planned anything else as of yet, so she was upset that she wasn't going to do anything for her birthday again. She tells me she doesn't want to do anything with Daddy's family because she doesn't want to have to be nice to her cousins (3 little girls, minimum 4 years younger than her and as an only child, they drive her nutty quickly... after-all she's a pre-teen.)

I told him before talking to her, that I a) don't think I have time, I have to land, go through Canadian customs, go to the NEXUS office, pickup Tessa, check in again, and try to catch the flight. It's only two hours between landing and the next flight. And b) I don't want to eat with him, I would need to talk to my husband first about eating with him because my husband and Tessa are my family, not him, and c) I think it's too confusing for her. He doesn't know what it's like but I remember my parents being in relationships with other people and still wishing they'd get back together even when they never talked! Even my husband knows how she feels as his parents were split up too. So the ex tries to guilt trip me and was like "well I don't want to eat with you either but I'd do it to make her happy." and "you won't do anything to make her happy, you just think about yourself." When I say that's not it and stop trying to guilt trip me, "oh well the truth hurts doesn't it." Such a manipulative a$$hole. It is my weakness that I'm not there for her all the time. That I can't give her a hug, or a kiss goodnight, that I can't help her get ready for school or watch her basketball games. I chose to live with my husband far away and she wanted to live with her Dad. I wouldn't force them apart just to make me happy, but I also don't think I should have to live my life alone or in poverty barely getting by either. Maybe I should... I don't know. But I would do almost anything to make her happy, except divorce my husband to move back to Canada and spend time with her father without my husband present.

Bonus points for bringing in a pre-made batch of Darnell's Brownelles, giving over to ex-bf, sealed in some box so they aren't noticeable as brownies (else yer daughter might want one).

With luck, that'll wipe him and his entirely family out for 2 days.

Fun, yes? [apologies, that's always my approach to douche-baggery]

[Vanitas 310]

You know, I have to wonder. Is spiking someone's food with laxatives even legal?

[Darnell 8,479]

keep wondering It's obvious (or should be) that I not care.

[Vanitas 310]

Clearly. Also, we found out why your thread got deleted. Seems it's not appropriate for the "family atmosphere" of these boards.

[Darnell 8,479]

Clearly. Also, we found out why your thread got deleted. Seems it's not appropriate for the "family atmosphere" of these boards.

ah? where was that posted? tia for the link.

---

as to the 'family atmosphere' - #######? the site owner should tweak the google ad stuff, instead. Those ads came in directly at this here portal. You know, you remember, a portal with a 'family atmosphere'.

I'll write more later, I promise - but if'n you'd be a dear and post that link where 'family atmosphere' was discussed, I'd greatly appreciate it and show my appreciation by NOT posting my sig file for 3 days.

[NikLR 13,232]

Darnell I truthfully thought about dropping off some exlax brownies but I'm terrified she'd eat one. LOL

[Vanitas 310]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/475465-black-lace-cheetos-dust-potatoes/?p=6829515

[JTB11 1,079]

hi all,

been mia for a bit....Steve I hope you are ok if you are somewhere out there.

Nothing much to say except - made some cherry tomato pasta, salad with balsamic/mustard dressing and cinnamon apple lemon cake. Making curry tomorrow.

men do not read this part: periods after 55 days weeeee.

ok. Also, my middle finger hurts real bad, very annoying.

Dog just licked my face.

[oohpartiv 484]

nola, you should do the purple! I really like that if it's done right.

I second this! I think little bits of color can look really cute if done tastefully.

You just wait. Pregnancy is a giant ball of fun.

This scares me. We won't have kids for another few years yet but I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever feel 100% prepared for 9 months of apparent hell.

Jeez, I leave for two days and we get yelled at, Steve's dying, threads are getting deleted... I miss all the fun.