Third World Fiances & Learning to Drive!

[Jon York 156]

It was so difficult for me to learn how to drive in America because in my country we drive on the opposite side of the road so when I was indicating to turn I would turn on the wipers instead. It was a complete NIGHTMARE!! Had two lessons then gave up. I lived in America for 9 months and only drove twice. Once my husband had to leave for 10 days for work and I had to walk everywhere those 10 days because I couldn't drive

He said that when I go back this time, no excuses I'm learning to drive in America because we have a son now and I can't 'walk everywhere' with him. Ughh just thinking about it makes me so scared already lol

Interesting li_09! I lived in Japan one time a few years ago and they drive on the "wrong" side of the road too! I drove there pretty frequently. And I found the whole opposite thing just didn't make any difference after about 5 or 10 minutes. Because EVERYTHING is opposite. So almost from the minute you get into the car, once you pull onto the road it just feels natural that the gear shift is on the left instead of the right and your door is on the right instead of the left! After 15 minutes I couldn't even remember which way it was back home!

You give it another try and don't think about it too much. I bet it'll come much more naturally to you next time around. Just give it some time.

[ChelseaKate 3]

So I'm curious... did your husband let you ride in the car as a passenger for a long time before you got into the driver's seat the first time? Did he explain things to you as he was driving?

I'm lucky because I just got a new car recently and a lot of the controls and such aren't where they were in my last car! I find myself fumbling around sometimes looking for the right switch. So it'll be fresh in my mind that there's a lot going on in a car besides just driving and I can believe it must seem enormously complex to someone who's rarely ridden in a car, much less never driven one.

I feel like I got most of my "feel" for the road and traffic, growing up with my parents driving. I just wonder if someone can get that in a few months after they arrive if I drive her around a lot and talk to her about what the types of things I'm looking out for while driving.

No, not really... Maybe a Month or two. He did explain things to me as he was driving. He showed me all the controls and what they are for and let me drive on 20MPH in an empty parking lot until I got used to it. But, when I took my road test for the first time, I failed because I was very nervous and forgot where the controls and what they do! So, he taught me again, and I passed the second time. I still get nervous until now getting in the driver's sit but, I have to do it. I have a child now, and can't rely on other people to give me a ride. I practiced for 6 Months before I took my road test.

[ChelseaKate 3]

No, not really... Maybe a Month or two. He did explain things to me as he was driving. He showed me all the controls and what they are for and let me drive on 20MPH in an empty parking lot until I got used to it. But, when I took my road test for the first time, I failed because I was very nervous and forgot where the controls and what they do! So, he taught me again, and I passed the second time. I still get nervous until now getting in the driver's sit but, I have to do it. I have a child now, and can't rely on other people to give me a ride. I practiced for 6 Months before I took my road test.

I was 6 months pregnant when I took my road test. Determination is written all over my face! LOL.

[rlogan 2,036]

Hi Jon York,

My reply to rlogan was basically to remind him of the difficulties new drivers face, and anyone who would like to teach them better do so properly. Based on the tone of his posting, it sounds as if he is blaming his wife entirely for not driving as well as he thinks she should. I am not jumping all over him for nothing- he definitely has a right of reply. I'm not from the 'Third World' but as a learner driver myself, I find that the attitude portrayed in rlogan's posting to be very unhelpful, and I'm not surprised that his wife does not cooperate with him. Am I speculating? Perhaps, because I know what it's like to attempt to learn from someone way more experienced who cannot relate to my inexperience. The kind of conditions people learnt to drive under in the 1970s aren't the same now, so you can't just tell a learner driver XYZ and think they'd process it the same way you did from your parents. If someone can't handle the stress and anxiety of teaching a learner driver, it's best to hire someone to be their guinea pig on the freeway.

The wife heartily agreed the whole problem was her pride getting in the way, so your search for evil is pretty laughable here.

The problem of spouses, friends, etc. teaching one another is well known in pedagogy - something you as a layman are ignorant of, apparently.

[Jon York 156]

The wife heartily agreed the whole problem was her pride getting in the way, so your search for evil is pretty laughable here.

The problem of spouses, friends, etc. teaching one another is well known in pedagogy - something you as a layman are ignorant of, apparently.

Yep, that's what it sounded like. And I'm sure that whole experience probably helped you both grow in your relationship.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Eh, I learned quick and I'm a pretty good driver. Got a 1 hour commute to work each day, country driving

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I am not from a Third world country but I do not drive, never have, but am considering learning finally. I am not afraid, I just simply lived close to fabulous public transit back home and never felt the need.

I would say go slowly and let your fiance/wife come around to it. Initially there could be so many different things when she first arrives it might be over whelming. On the flipside maybe she's up for the adventure. She will eventually decide if she needs to learn in order to be able to do some things alone. I figured I should finally learn - you never know, my husband may need a ride one day and be medically unable to drive like after an operation or something.

[Kat&Abhi 42]

My hubby is the first in his family to learn to drive a car, everyone has always had motorcycles or scooters. He signed up and took driving lessons in India. You don't even need your own car as they provide everything. When he came to the US he drove a few times (he visited on B1/B2) and said honestly its much easier in US than India since we are so orderly. The hard thing for him was the fact that India and US drive on different sides of the road AND the fact that since he doesn't own a car he hadn't had much practice since his lessons but he did ok. I think for him learning to drive a car was not too difficult since it was more about how to operate the car rather than the rules of the road. He already has road sense from all his motorcycle riding that he has done!

Is it possible that they can take some kind of driving course even before coming? They are usually very gentle and good (if you go with a reputable school) and maybe it will ease the transition?

[Jon York 156]

Kat, that's a great idea! I never thought of that. I'm going to see if she can take some driving lessons there before she gets here! Thanks!