Dealing with in-laws...is honesty the best policy?

[hobbit 10]

Don't get me wrong, I like her as a person (minus the amnesia). I don't think what I've said indicates a judgment of her per se. It's more of an analysis of her responses to me and my actions, and so I try my best to fit in as her SIL. Was it because I said she smokes and doesn't keep healthy? That's not a judgment, it's a fact! But I have never chided her for it, and neither has she urged me to try a cigarette. I do feel nauseous when she smokes in the car, but I bear with it since such times are far and few in between. We are indeed different in many ways, but like Jon York puts it, I'd like to think of these as superficial differences and theoretically shouldn't have a bearing on family relations.

Edited February 15, 2014 by hobbit

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Well this was an exciting thread, I finally gave it a full read this morning. I personally try not to put much thought into why people say and do the things they do - although obviously sometimes it gets under your skin. I see the OP's husband refers to his sister as weird with a capital "W" and that just may say it all. My own husband has some folks with what I would consider odd, rude behaviour in his family and its simply mind blowing to attempt to understand the motivations of those people. NO matter what you do, you can't help but annoy them so why bother worrying or trying - granted you want to make peace with your husband's family and that's only natural.

The new fam doesn't sound like a treat.

Well this was an exciting thread, I finally gave it a full read this morning. I personally try not to put much thought into why people say and do the things they do - although obviously sometimes it gets under your skin. I see the OP's husband refers to his sister as weird with a capital "W" and that just may say it all. My own husband has some folks with what I would consider odd, rude behaviour in his family and its simply mind blowing to attempt to understand the motivations of those people. NO matter what you do, you can't help but annoy them so why bother worrying or trying - granted you want to make peace with your husband's family and that's only natural.

The new fam doesn't sound like a treat.

[Cam54 84]

you two are clearly very different so unless your brother is close to them don't worry about becoming close to them yourself, just because theyre family doesn't mean you have to get on, you didn't choose them afterall lol.

[hobbit 10]

Ah...the ties that bind, for better or for worse! At least she and I share some common ground, probably more than she does with her brother Coincidentally, the fortune cookie quote from last night's Chinese delivery also reads, "Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better."