K1 Visa - I won't marry him!

[missik 5]

I'm not sure why you think that the guy will be a danger to her. That's for her to figure out at the first place. Why you spent $$$ and time visiting him and his family and decided to not marry him later on??? What happened? Why you change your mind? Think abt him leaving his family and life behind for you, because you have promised him "AMERICA" then suddenly you let him down. Take a second to put yourself in his shoes. That's being mean, and as human being we are not supposed to treat each other like that. At least, give the guy an opportunity to have some legal document before letting him go, so he can get a job and a chance to meet someone else and start a new life.

Anyway,I might not have the best answer, but i think you are not playing fair. Maybe there are facts that we are missing and the other side of the story that he will not be able to tell us, therefore my judgement will be biased. And beside, i don't know your age, but this remind me my teenage years, where we were stupid and picky, and egoist, and narcissistic and Hitlerstic ( made up) and ,,,,,,, .

Good luck with your life by destroying other people's.

[Cathi 5,747]

Where there is smoke there is fire - if it smells like a scam well.....................

You see many opinions and suggestions from people how you should proceed from here on out, you have some difficult decisions to make, may God give you the wisdom to make the right one for you, your family and your life!

Why is it a scam when it was HER idea to stop the marriage, not his? If he was scamming don't you think he would have just left once he set foot on US soil? The couple spent literally 8 days together in real life before she shipped him over here. They didn't know each other, and when he moved here she realized they are not compatible. Tell me where the scam is? Has anyone thought about the beneficiary and how he gave up his life to move here? Show some compassion for the poor guy. She told him to hit road, of course he is going to want to go to his closest relative. What would you do if you were in a foreign country, knowing not one person and had this thrown at you? Edited January 25, 2014 by mimolicious

[Boiler 45,482]

Why why WHY do you continue to think every single new immigrant is part of some scam? Seriously you need to stop! It was her decision to stop the marriage, not him. He gave up everything he knows to come here, and the OP never said a word about any type of abuse on either side.

To the OP: you met him once for 8 days, even you said it was like a vacation. Did you think real life was going to be a vacation? The poor guy gave up everything he knows and loves to come here, I'm sure a lot of it is culture shock, being in different surroundings. You have no financial responsibility for him, and he has no legal basis to stay. You say you aren't stupid, but tell me what's smart about bringing someone you met for 8 days to live with you and your small daughters? There needs to be better guidelines for issuing k1 visas, there should be a minimum amount of face to face time required before K1 visas are issued. Casablanca consulate has no rhyme or reason, they deny married couples who have been together years, yet they seem to give out k1 visas like tic tacs.

His brother is in California.

[Cathi 5,747]

His brother is in California.

So? It was her idea to stop the marriage, not his.

[Boiler 45,482]

I'm not sure why you think that the guy will be a danger to her. That's for her to figure out at the first place. Why you spent $$$ and time visiting him and his family and decided to not marry him later on??? What happened? Why you change your mind? Think abt him leaving his family and life behind for you, because you have promised him "AMERICA" then suddenly you let him down. Take a second to put yourself in his shoes. That's being mean, and as human being we are not supposed to treat each other like that. At least, give the guy an opportunity to have some legal document before letting him go, so he can get a job and a chance to meet someone else and start a new life.

Anyway,I might not have the best answer, but i think you are not playing fair. Maybe there are facts that we are missing and the other side of the story that he will not be able to tell us, therefore my judgement will be biased. And beside, i don't know your age, but this remind me my teenage years, where we were stupid and picky, and egoist, and narcissistic and Hitlerstic ( made up) and ,,,,,,, .

Good luck with your life by destroying other people's.

He is in the US, and by the sound of it will be staying with his Brother.

You are suggesting they get Married and file - that is fraud big time.

So? It was her idea to stop the marriage, not his.

You said he gave up everything he knows, I assume he knows his Brother?

[livindadream 156]

What exactly did the OP do that would constitute as abuse? Telling someone you're not ready to marry them is not one of those things. Here USCIS describes who's eligible to file under VAWA and i don't see how it would apply. Though this is exactly why she is advised to stay away from him now so he cannot make this stuff up.

That list is far from black and white. All someone has to do is go tell immigration that they're fiancé or spouse put them out of the house ...get a few friends to make statements, say the fiancé or spouse is not willing to adjust status, etc and boom ..VAWA case! the USC has no say in anything, they cant even dispute the allegations. I feel like the guy has some rights in this case. What has he done ? It's only been two weeks that he's been in the States, how do you even make any decision that it's not going to work that quickly. What expectations did she have for him since he's been here, that she feels he is not worth marrying now? My God, the guy is probably still in culture shock and now he's being kicked to the curb?. And sadly, look how many of us are here waiting and praying for our significant others to join us and this petition and interview was a wasted time that could've been spent on another case!

Edited January 25, 2014 by AYOsGirl

[livindadream 156]

Furthermore, when you bring someone to the States on a K1, you're telling USCIS that you are willing, ready and able to marry this person. That you are sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the person you have every intention of marrying. So who is the fraud when you back out two weeks after his arrival??? K1's are not supposed to be used to bring someone to the States, to get to know them better and then decide if they are marrying material. I'm sure spending 90 days abroad getting to know someone is more expensive than staying in your own country (as she said, she had to pay for everything) but a K1 is not supposed to be a ticket awarded for a discounted means of being together trying to know if you're compatible or not. This is all nonsense and crazy how so many people are failing to see the real victim here.

[Cam54 84]

He is in the US, and by the sound of it will be staying with his Brother.

You are suggesting they get Married and file - that is fraud big time.

You said he gave up everything he knows, I assume he knows his Brother?

His brother is in California, they are in Detroit I believe one person does not make up for flying half way round the world, him going to visit his brother because she wants him out is not scamming, if my husband wanted me out I might run to my sibling if they lived here.

to the OP, communicate with your fiancé, figure out what is different now to when you were planning the move, I came over on same date as your fiancé and im all the over the place and im sure its affecting my fiancé too, you cant move so far without acting a little nutty, its an incredibly hard thing to do. make sure hes not just feeling unhappy, out of place etc before you give up on something you worked a year for

[you & i 16]

I'm not sure why you think that the guy will be a danger to her. That's for her to figure out at the first place. Why you spent $$$ and time visiting him and his family and decided to not marry him later on??? What happened? Why you change your mind? Think abt him leaving his family and life behind for you, because you have promised him "AMERICA" then suddenly you let him down. Take a second to put yourself in his shoes. That's being mean, and as human being we are not supposed to treat each other like that. At least, give the guy an opportunity to have some legal document before letting him go, so he can get a job and a chance to meet someone else and start a new life.

Anyway,I might not have the best answer, but i think you are not playing fair. Maybe there are facts that we are missing and the other side of the story that he will not be able to tell us, therefore my judgement will be biased. And beside, i don't know your age, but this remind me my teenage years, where we were stupid and picky, and egoist, and narcissistic and Hitlerstic ( made up) and ,,,,,,, .

Good luck with your life by destroying other people's.

i am with you in this ,,,,immigration is not a game to play by because the honest ones pays for it and i really don't like this...he traveled all this way to be with you and then changed the mind easily that way and wasting time online talking wasting money and even making the immigration process even more harder for the ones who will come in the future....PLEASE people be aware and know each other before go through this process because by these mistakes you are bringing new immigration laws and making it even more worse for the future immigrants

[InHisTime 110]

You said he gave up everything he knows, I assume he knows his Brother?

Well, Boiler, you maybe right, but at this point we could not assume. If you are on his shoes, wouldn't you visiting your brother since you are already in the US, especially you are in a bad situation ? Everyone is different, so maybe no or yes.

A good brother will always offer a helping hand. So let's give him the benefit of doubt. I believe not everyone is a scammer of GC. He may not have prior intention to become illegal in the US, but sometimes because of changes in his situation, gave up everything home and work, anything can happen. We can't judge him for that easily, as we don't know the real both sides of the story.

At this point, the OP should just do whatever to protect her, and important to learn from her mistakes of petitioning someone whom she didn't know much better. Maybe, as a good gesture for the sake of friendship, shoulder his ticket back home.

Maybe the OP can inform USCIS for what happened and why you didn't marry him, then just move on with your life.

[Boiler 45,482]

She has spent longer with him in the US since he arrived than she had before.

[Boiler 45,482]

Well, Boiler, you maybe right, but at this point we could not assume. If you are on his shoes, wouldn't you visiting your brother since you are already in the US, especially you are in a bad situation ? Everyone is different, so maybe no or yes.

A good brother will always offer a helping hand. So let's give him the benefit of doubt. I believe not everyone is a scammer of GC. He may not have prior intention to become illegal in the US, but sometimes because of changes in his situation, gave up everything home and work, anything can happen. We can't judge him for that easily, as we don't know the real both sides of the story.

At this point, the OP should just do whatever to protect her, and important to learn from her mistakes of petitioning someone whom she didn't know much better. Maybe, as a good gesture for the sake of friendship, shoulder his ticket back home.

Maybe the OP can inform USCIS for what happened and why you didn't marry him, then just move on with your life.

The only family mentioned anywhere is his Brother, no idea what he left, could be a lot and like you say he just wants to take a few days out to visit his Brother, or nothing at all.

We will probably never know.

I think the other comments were more 'on average' what would be expected.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Ok so my fiancé entered the US on January 9, 14. Before he arrived I never felt so sure of something in all my life! I was so happy, overjoyed, excited! I was so in love! My trip to see him was amazing! (Of course I did pay for everything, and it was vacation not reality). I have my wedding dress, I have my girls' dresses! Finding out on Christmas Eve that the love of my life would be here at home with me very soon was the best gift ever! So he's here... I was very happy to see him but it didn't take long before I realized something's not clicking. I started to have anxiety all the time, I don't feel comfortable around him at all. It's bugging me out! So fast forward 1 week and 6 days and I finally spelled it out to him that I could not and will not marry him because we are not even in the same book of life! I couldn't take it anymore. I can not live with him! So fast forward to last night and he puts his brother on the phone whom lives in CA and his brother tells me if that's my final decision then he is booking my fiancé a flight to CA to depart a week from now and he will call his attorney and have him draw up all the paperwork to relieve me of any financial responsibility! Has anyone ever had a similar experience or heard of one? Should I call USCIS? Of course I will never sign anything without my attorney looking it over and discussing it with USCIS, I may have been conned by lust but I'm not stupid! I'm curious if anyone knows of a possible outcome? Thanks!

Not sure what is there for you to sign, let alone 'relieve financial responsibility'.

His brother can get him to CA if he wants to, but at the expiration of the I-94, he is illegally staying in the country; not your problem mind you.

[Lola2014 2]

Look, I don't want to slam my ex fiancé. I will say that the person I got to "know" via online video chatting EVERYDAY for a YEAR is not actually whom he claimed to be. I have a busy and fast paced life with 3 kids, a career, and after a lot of hard work financial stability and independence. I withheld nothing from my fiancé - and my fiancé recipacated by making promises and feeding the wonderful dream of having my future husband be my best friend, a wonderful step-father, and my partner in life... However, so far nothing he has said prior to coming has been proven. It's not easy to know what your fiancé is doing over seas - I had to trust that he was preparing for this and to up hold his part in our relationship. He has said several times "Your life, it is very hard" "Your job, it is getting very hard". I've never viewed my life as "hard" or my career. And I did my best (obviously not good enough) to continuously describe my life, responsibilities, daily/weekly routines, how important my children and their needs are, how important my career and fulfilling my responsibilities are there... And even though I described these things daily, he acts shocked and amazed at "how hard life is here". Prior to going to Morocco I researched my fiancé, his culture, his religion, the foods in Morocco, pictures of the country, the cost of living in comparison to ours, I constantly researched to find out more. Well while I'm trying to learn about him, his country, his culture... He plans on making the lifetime sacrifice of his family and country - yet he does no research at all about me, my state, my culture, nothing! His brother has been telling him for the last 5 yrs how great life is in the States... Now it seems he was so head over heals with the "American Dream" long before we met that any realistic topic I would discuss about my life and what it's like he allowed it to go in one ear and out the other. I knew several months before he came that he wouldn't be able to work for at least 5.5 mths after arriving (we would we after 2.5 and the I-485 and I-765 take approx 3 mths processing time).. Anyways I thoroughly discussed this with him for days! He assured me he understood - however acted shocked that he couldn't work after stepping off the plane? It was weird, I reminded him of our several long conversations about this and was shocked when he said he just expected things to be easier... Again, he did nothing to research ANYThiNg! Not even the visa process, I knew exactly what to do and how to do because I researched and educated myself. He's having a hard time here. I work where I live and he wants to sit by my desk for hours and then says "You have no time to talk or take a picture with me?" Umm sorry I have to work. LOL I'm flabbergasted by my fiancées shock at what life is like here. Believe me, you learn A LOT about a person VERY quickly when they move in with you. Vacationing in Morocco is not real life. Although, my vacation in Morocco was real life to him. This being the reason I so often in detail described how things are different here. I was raised to work hard and make sacrifices for what you want. My fiancé doesn't seem to know the meaning of hard work and he sacrificed leaving under his mothers roof, and having no responsibilities to "The American Dream" - whatever that might be. Anyways, he's here and there's a huge hole in my heart so I need to react to that and be honest with myself and him. So that has passed, he's heart broken as I am for this is not what we had planned... But it is what it is so moving forward as adults whose relationship turned out to be different than what we expected we would like to move forward with our lives and remain friends. I just wondered I there was any possibility for his brothers attorney to change his visa type, find him work within a month, and have his brother to become his sponsor, and I think in his rude disrespectful manipulative conversation with me he mentioned something about his employer playing some sort of a role in this too but I can't remember exactly how he said his employer was involved. Well this was how it panned out for me. And I'm a little nervous with him still being here but I know he would not harm my children or myself, I do know that about him, however people say that about murders everyday right before they kill someone so who knows... Knock on wood I guess. Thanks.

[fantonledzepp 159]

The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is to have a calm conversation. Communicate. It may not all be lost yet.

Oh, and tell him to tell his brother to stay out of your relationship.

Edited January 25, 2014 by fantonledzepp