No job

[Bajih 4]

. My husband was an Iraqi immigrant who was a refuge in Syria for a number of years. He came here 4 years ago. Since then, he has not obtained employment. I believe some of it has to deal with emotional/psychological issues that he is dealing with since living in Baghdad during the war in and then trauma in Syria. He hides himself away in the office each and every day non-stop. (This is what he did to survive in Syria) I also know that he is nervous about talking with people. While his English is good, I know that he is self conscious about it.

I don't know how to encourage him in getting a job. He is a musician and thinks that he can only do this. I can't get him to see that he needs a job to help pay for our bills. The music thing brings in some money now and then, but isn't what he could be earning.

I am tired of being the one who goes to work and support us on everything we do. I have talked to him about it repeatedly but nothing changes.

Has anyone else dealt with a new immigrant and the hesitancy to go out there and get a job? I think part of it as well is the process... Is there help out there to guide newbies?

Thank you for your support.

[USAmale 1]

Yes, I did go through the same things with my wife who refused to work. Ultimately she returned to her home country. That may not at all be the case with your situation however; there are many ESL courses out there in the community, including at churches, community centers, etc. that may help him to gain more confidence

I hope that it works out for you.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

. My husband was an Iraqi immigrant who was a refuge in Syria for a number of years. He came here 4 years ago. Since then, he has not obtained employment. I believe some of it has to deal with emotional/psychological issues that he is dealing with since living in Baghdad during the war in and then trauma in Syria. He hides himself away in the office each and every day non-stop. (This is what he did to survive in Syria) I also know that he is nervous about talking with people. While his English is good, I know that he is self conscious about it.

I don't know how to encourage him in getting a job. He is a musician and thinks that he can only do this. I can't get him to see that he needs a job to help pay for our bills. The music thing brings in some money now and then, but isn't what he could be earning.

I am tired of being the one who goes to work and support us on everything we do. I have talked to him about it repeatedly but nothing changes.

Has anyone else dealt with a new immigrant and the hesitancy to go out there and get a job? I think part of it as well is the process... Is there help out there to guide newbies?

Thank you for your support.

Perhaps what could work in the need to find a job is to prepare a budget showing the expenses and income, to show the past 3-6 months and with some projections 2-3 months ahead or more if there is some large payment coming up. Then add 2-3 scenarios of potential and realistic jobs he could do.

A 'job' is just a way to help pay bills while you work towards a career.

About his issues, has there been a medical evaluation? Perhaps some medication is required to help.

It is hard for many immigrants to get that first job because things are so different to what they were used to, small details and ways of doing things that most take for granted are difficult and stand tall for someone who is not used to it. Imagine yourself landing in a South American country for example, while an office has four walls, windows and doors, as well as people working there, that is as far athe similarities go.

One way to look for a first job is a personnel agency; they have online tools to help prospective employees, some times just for signing with the agency; the assignments can be short and he could give some specifics of the kind of job wanted, which could be a place with a small number of people or perhaps outside of regular bus hours so interaction with other people is kept low.

What kind of skills does he have, is there a way to leverage those. Being a musician, he likely is good with computers and maybe he does not know that.

[Mardy 15]

Maybe he can go can go back to school & take music class/degree to enhance his skills & get a job in a school as a music teacher...just a thought :-)

[Bajih 4]

Thanks for the replies. I just wish there was some sort of support system to help new immigrants with things like this. (Or is there?) I have encouraged him to talk to someone to see if he is suffering from PTSD and/or depression, but he refuses to go. Agh!

[Darnell 8,478]

Is he a Muslim? If so, drag his backside to the local mosque for a sit-down talk with the Imam there -

it could very well be that yer husband sitting in,

in a pick up gig for entertaining on the weekend,

is exactly what he needs.

The Imam knows the ethnic bands and the bookings and in many cases, the Talent Managers.

[SennaBrigante 92]

Maybe he's afraid of being rejected or of failing that's why he's hesitant to go out into the world and be a responsible adult. I would suggest enrolling him in night classes or a vocational course to help him specialize in a skill and build his confidence. It's also an opportunity for him to network and kind of break out of his shell little by little.