Told he had no chance of getting tourist visa

[christeen 966]

Let him apply for the visa since it is obvious at thi point you have other priorities (your kids). Not to mention if you are not financially able to get your children back, your are certainly not ready to take an overseas trip or bring a man from overseas as both of these endeavors are extremely expensive. The k1 visa process runs in excess of $5000 which it sounds to me, at the moment that money could be better used to get your kids back no? You are free to chat and Skype and have a great friend over there, but I would hold off on any plans for you to visit or bring him over till you get YOUR house in order... Bringing another dynamic/person into this situation is not a wise move. If he can come visit, great... If no, then wait...

[anajnic 87]

im not putting him before my kids i was just gathering information trust and believe that is something i would never do. i was always told to ask question if someone said something i didnt understand or didnt believe to begin with so i asked. but everyone thought i was putting him before my children thats bull. MY KIDS DO AND ALWAYS WILL COME BEFORE ANY MAN. Sorry for asking and telling what I had been told by a guy

Not for nothing!!! getting back your kids right now should be first and foremost instead of trying to figure out how to get this dude here. You will never know him or get to really know him though Skype and all of that. Too much time involved in a relationship right now .You have got yo put full attention on your kids.You also have a disabled child which needs more attention!. How will you find the energy to do all that.Its not worth it . but its your life your rules. As a woman who could have easily been in your position, i would not have been able to be bothered with nothing but getting my kids and my life together.

Let him apply for the visa since it is obvious at thi point you have other priorities (your kids). Not to mention if you are not financially able to get your children back, your are certainly not ready to take an overseas trip or bring a man from overseas as both of these endeavors are extremely expensive. The k1 visa process runs in excess of $5000 which it sounds to me, at the moment that money could be better used to get your kids back no? You are free to chat and Skype and have a great friend over there, but I would hold off on any plans for you to visit or bring him over till you get YOUR house in order... Bringing another dynamic/person into this situation is not a wise move. If he can come visit, great... If no, then wait...

PREACH!!!! Exactly

[MIBEN 83]

Wow run, two months and talking about marriage before meeting aside from the fact that you can loose custody of your kids. Why are you still talking to him? I say focus on your children it seems you plate is full enough. I am surely not trying to offend you.

Good luck

[RhettVoe 282]

Hard to believe that a two month old online relationship between two people of totally different cultural backgrounds could be on the cusp of marriage...I agree with the others...focus on your children, not somebody whom you do not know and ks unlikely to be willing and able to assist you with a custody battle involving cnildren who are not his....your

Life sounds complicated enough without adding even more complex issues to the mix...just a personal opinion.

[AmyWrites 593]

How did you meet, on what site? Are you older than him? Are you Muslim?

I also suggest heading over to the MENA forum. No offense, but you have no idea what you're getting into. In the best case, that he does really love you, Casablanca is one of the toughest consulates to get through.

[yraheem 9]

This is just our thoughts. If your husband to be is legit then he can wait until you are stable enough to get full custody of children, stabilize yourself and rebuild your family and bond with your children. you seem to be tryinig to juggle to critical life changing events which traditionally one thing will trumpt the other. I am intimately aware of the fraudulant events that are a common practice in Morocoo, so please, please, please if you can hire a private investigator to check him out, DO SO.

How long have you known your husband to be? With all things even their is usually a higher rate of fraud when a foreign man courts a American woman then when a American man courts a foreign woman, and the fact that Morocoo prodominate religion is Islam doesn't help your case (I'm a Muslim so don't think that I'm being bias, or hating on Islam). Based on my experience give it a year, if he is still around then you may have traction in your relationship.

I don't think you'll be able to do both and if a particular event in your life will effect you obtaining custody of your children and building your family, you might want to think long about what is more important to you.

Also, keep in mind that you will have to prove that you have the financial strength to take care of a man for about 6 - 8 months.

Sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear but it is our thoughts that your children should come first.

[Faycel and Renee 30]

As a mother myself and all the "nice and sweet" things said by men, here is the deal.

"Ok here goes nothing, my boyfriend went to the embassy where he lives to see if he could a vistors visa to come over here so he could see me but I was told today that they told him he would have no chance in getting one to come over here"

---->>> So he goes to the embassy and they told him that he could not get a tourist visa - in order to talk to anyone you need an appointment and sometimes this is months in advance - you guys have been talking just a few months, so the way I see it that he jumped into inquiring about this immediately or hes just guessing.

"How can we meet if one he cant come over and 2 I cant leave the us or risk losing my rights to my children"

---->>> Well its obvious that you have issues with the family and although you havent said exactly why you would lose your children. Seems as if you have some deeper issues that would cause the family to snap and say you abandoned the children. First of all taking a vacation is NOT abandoning your children, especially if you advise them that you are going. Something is just not being told and its not my place to ask but this is much deeper.

"Can some please help me, I know one of the requirements is to have met in the last 2 years but hows that supposed to work if we cant meet with each other or each other"

---->>> I have heard (and dont ask me cause I cant give you that info) that some people have gone thru the K1 process without meeting. I personally do not see it but if you are in a situation where you cant get away due to you having to care for family and you can prove that if you leave no one will care for them then I heard (AGAIN I HEARD) that there are some exceptions (LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR - ASK ABOUT THIS).

I just want to say this (from experience) that there are a LOT of handsome men out there and they sure know how to talk real good to a lonely woman. And they are always anxious to MARRY. There are so many that truly mean what they say, but then there are many who make a living out of it. Being lonely and desperate for attention is something we crave. We want a man that treats us like a queen. But there will be time for all of that. Dont jump at the first one that fills your ears with words of love that you fall for anything. Examine them carefully and dont be afraid to say or think anything. There will be one man that will prove his love for you truly. Please walk thru this slowly cause if he is true about his feelings for you he will stick by your side NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES AND HE WONT GIVE UP TRYING

Your children are here for a reason, disabled or not. Life sometimes throws us a curve and although we do not see it at that time, we find out later why. Children are a blessing and a gift from our creator. No man should ever come before them. Dont rush thru this relationship or this journey. Let your guy know that this is not something to rush thru and if he is real, he will take this day by day and then just maybe you guys will meet.

I wish you luck.

[tehans 52]

It amazes me someone chats online, has never met the person and wants to get married. SMH

[RhettVoe 282]

what Faycel and Renee said....from all of us who are self appointed family counselors/psychologists.....you seem to be in the middle of a familial situation that is going to require all of your focus....the last thing you need (IMHO) is involvement with a person you have never met in person, not shared any problems with closely, from dissimilar cultures (he is of one that does not put women ahead of most things)....another thing to consider...while you are battling with custody, if you were to rush into a marriage with this person, imagine how that might look to a family court judge, who would be considering your stability as a mother/parent....it could easily work against you....anyway, I guess many of us have stuck our nose into your business quite enough...but most, if not all of us, are quite concerned that this might work out poorly for you....TAKE YOUR TIME....

[Darnell 8,478]

Wow run, two months and talking about marriage before meeting aside from the fact that you can loose custody of your kids. Why are you still talking to him? I say focus on your children it seems you plate is full enough. I am surely not trying to offend you.

Good luck

I sense a beer and football break coming on, as there is no way ta relationship will get deemed valid, at the moment, by a ConOff. Later, perhaps, but aiyo ! Not now.

[Boiler 45,558]

Where did the OP say she was not of the same religion etc as her bf?

[Rebecca616 38]

"(he is of one that does not put women ahead of most things)"....... WOW! Judgmental much are we? We don't know anything about her b/f, maybe he's a jewel, she's going through a lot of personal things that will make it very hard to get a visa for him right now. Such statements shouldn't be said as fact.

[RhettVoe 282]

Would you want your young adult daughter to rush to the aisle to marry somebody from a country whose culture is vastly different than ours, after meeting him online? (or, if said daughter was in the midst of a custody battle with your grandchildren, would you think it wise to race to the altar under the same circumstances?)...

[Rebecca616 38]

Your idea that all men from MENA countries treat their women badly is BS. If you don't want your family member associated with somebody from that region of the world that is your business. I Didn't disagree with your entire post just when you thought it prudent to include her b/f along with men who abuse their women. I apologize OP for commenting to another in your subject.

[Boiler 45,558]

Your idea that all men from MENA countries treat their women badly is BS. If you don't want your family member associated with somebody from that region of the world that is your business. I Didn't disagree with your entire post just when you thought it prudent to include her b/f along with men who abuse their women. I apologize OP for commenting to another in your subject.

If he said that I missed it.

I do not know what the attraction is, but if it is that they are co religionists then bearing in mind the issues mentioned would it not be more logical to look for a partner nearby?