I dont get along with my stepdad and he threatened to send us back to the Philippines (newbie here) :)

[Boiler 45,936]

How is your 13 year old sister paying the same as you?

Edited January 20, 2014 by Boiler

[CowBoE 429]

Though its only one sided story, based on what you are describing, it sounds like you have a bully step dad.

I am sorry to hear. The world can be abusive to us at times, but our home and family is supposed to be

our supporters and our last line defense for peace. Life is awful when home and family becomes one of your worst enemy.

A simple answer to your question has been answered by many above, and I concur that "no" he can not send you

or your family back. Of course, you or your family can be deported if you commit a serious crime, but I'm sure

that is not a risk for you or your family.

Every human being is entitle to live peacefully and happily, but in order to do that, you have to be financially independent.

Despite your step dad's unfair bully behavior, you being cold to your step dad will only aggravate your step dad to take it out on your mom and other siblings. That is not a very wise thing to do whether you live in the house or move out.

If you, your sister, and mom are all working, perhaps you 3 can sustain a living without your step dad.

If so, that may be something that your family (without the step dad) may want to consider.

Life is precious and its not worth receiving small financial benefit and in return receive torture.

Also, you really need to think about your career more deeply. I raised two college graduate kids, and I've seen

too many kids thinking "I am going to do what I like..." without really thinking through on the overall cost of education or what they want to do with that degree, and regretting afterwards on spending ton of money, time, and effort.

You almost have to think this in reverse order...for example...

1. What career do I want to have in the future?

2. What type of jobs can you get with that degree?

3. How easily can you find those jobs?

4. How much do they make?

5. Also go talk to those art major graduates and hear their recommendation on the major.

6. Can I be happy with and live independent life without depending on someone with that earning?

7. How much school cost can I afford?

8. How much school loan am I willing to take out?

After this due diligence, if you are still convinced you are headed in the right direction, then go for it.

If not, research into other demanding job fields and see there is something else that you like,

which can also give you some strength towards being financially independent...so that you don't

ever have to rely even a small support from a bully like your step dad in the future.

Lastly, after all, your step dad gave you and your family opportunity to move to US and gotten you guys the green cards.

This act doesn't entitle him to be abusive to your family, but you also don't need to carry hatred for him.

The best thing you and your family can do is figure out the finances so that you guys can establish your own peaceful and happy home of your own.

Best of luck

[Boiler 45,936]

I am sure the story is one sided, but as far as the time being for her to fly the nest not relevant.

[raven52 233]

My heart goes out to you and your family. Please protect your family, find a place and move ASAP.,. as this is not good.

He cannot send you anywhere, as you have your 10 year card, but what about your sister, take her and your mom and leave, BEFORE this man does something physical to one of you! YOUR family is not safe here!

Get ready for the sob story if he see's you leaving, how sorry he is, but remember, """A LEOPARD NEVER CHANGES HIS SPOTS"", this would be short term, get away now, before something bad happens, go to a place where they will give you a state sponsored attorney, to help you, if he gets worse, GOOD LUCK, I hope you tell us things get better when you leave.

[InHisTime 110]

YES, please move out ASAP. In the mean time, avoid any confrontation with him, just be patient and try control of your anger so as not to esclate things. BUT PLEASE MOVE OUT soon. You knew him now much better. You need a happy environment. This man will not change his bad behavior unless he submits and humbles himself to God. I hope you continue to look out to your mom and your sister, and in any unfavorable event, please bring them (your mom and sister) together with you. You all can survive and live happily in the US without him, just be strong, work hard and keep focus. As this point, as what some VJs mentioned here, he can't do anything to send you all back to the PI. He needs to change his character.......if not, he will be alone again. God bless you all.

[Misha'sgirl 44]

Well for one, I'm just going to point out how f-ing crazy this guy must be to make his kids (even if they are "step kids", it shouldn't matter) pay him money.... "their share"?? Really seems kind of abusive. They're you're kids. They owe you respect and love (that's it), but ONLY if you are also giving them respect and love. Which this guy isn't. I can understand "helping" your parents if you're twenty two and still living within the house. But if you're a damn 12/13 yr old... absolutely no. I completely understand why you would want to move out. And even go as far to say as move back to the Philippines. If you're more comfortable and your life was happier in the Philippines, then you should go back. I'm sure you can take art classes there too... and there's always hundreds of ways to teach yourself art through online vids and even skyping with fellow artists. Not the same as the classroom, but better in some ways. You can still earn degrees through online classes. Do what helps you BE HAPPY.

[Saneril 1]

OH WOW. this is awesome!

I dont like the idea that he will actually threaten us that way. We will leave and hopefully soon.

Thank you Hypnos.

I'm new here but I was going to mention what Hypnos said... There is no excuse for a male (I can't really call him a man from the sounds of his behavior) to treat anyone like that. I hope you find a safe place for you, your mother and sister to live!

The Sponsor’s Obligations

The Form I-864 Affidavit of Support is a legally enforceable contract, meaning that either the government or the sponsored immigrant can take the sponsor to court if the sponsor fails to provide adequate support to the immigrant. In fact, the law places more obligations on the sponsor than on the immigrant -- the immigrant could decide to quit a job and sue the sponsor for support.

When the government sues the sponsor, it collects enough money to reimburse any public agencies that have given public benefits to the immigrant. When the immigrant sues, he or she collects cash support up to 125% of the amount listed in the U.S. government’s Poverty Guidelines (as shown in the chart in Form I-864P).

The sponsor’s responsibility lasts until the immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, has earned 40 work quarters credited toward Social Security (a work quarter is about three months, so this means about ten years of work), dies, or permanently leaves the United States. If the immigrant has already been living in the U.S. and earned work credits before applying for the green card, those count toward the 40.

In fact, in marriage-based cases, work done by the U.S. petitioning spouse during the marriage can be counted toward these 40 quarters.

CAUTION

A sponsor in a marriage-based case remains legally obligated even after a divorce. Yes, a divorced immigrant spouse could decide to sit on a couch all day and sue the former spouse for support. The sponsor may wish to have the immigrant sign a separate contract agreeing not to do this, but it is not clear whether courts would enforce such a contract.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/fiance-marriage-visa-book/chapter3-5.html

He can be on the hook to support you, your sister and your mother. The affidavit of support is a powerful document that he had to sign to bring you over!

[DanTes 21]

Sounds like a real unhappy situation. You mentioned your Mom filed the petition. Is she a U.S. citizen now? To answer your question - NO, he cannot send you back to the Philippines. Like others have recommended, MOVE OUT! The U.S. is full of opportunities just waiting for someone like you and your siblings. Perhaps someday your Mom will wake up and follow suite.

[Roberah 1]

Move out with your mom and sister. You all work enough to get a place for yourselves. I'm not sure your religion but If you are Christian, Jesus made it clear to not fear any human being. Even if you are not Christian, use common sense and know that people use fear to control other people, just look throughout history and you will know that. Get out and don't feel guilty or bad for any of it. The grass is always greener on the other side. You will feel so much better about yourself when you stand up and take control.

[Abdo.Gauchô 16]

No, He cannot send you back , according to the law of immigration only if u did something really bad in the country they will send u back to ur country or take you to jail

but no one can send u to ur country , according to the united states laws u can move and do whatever u want when u pass 18

So no one can do anything to you , i suggest that u go on craiglist and look for a roomate cuz u cannot rent yet bcz u don't have history in renting , so go ahead and look fo some roomies and take ur sister with u and when u finish one year renting then u can rent appartment by ur own .

Good luck

[dwightcharles 12]

1) Sir, please move out already. You're 22 and working. Provide a safe place for your Mum and Sister.

2) Not for the OP but a pet peeve of mine. People, please participate in the immigration process with your parents as much as you can. Be involved in the process, get to know your new step parent, vet him properly. You should have a st of different requirements than your parents and make sure as much as you can that there is a compatibility there.

I actually do. And since he keeps on whining in our face about how he now has to pay again this amount of money to renew our visas and makes us feel that we're burden to him, i told my mom to just tell him to not even worry about it. Since I am working, I will be paying and processing for all my requirements and all that. If I need him for something then that is when I will come up to him for help. but im just over it.

[Mr.&Mrs.EMB 55]

Move out young man. Sound like bad news for you, your mom and your siblings. Move out as soon as you can, save and save every penny so you can rent or mortgage a home, just move out fast whatever it takes and do it soon, don't wait for something bad to happen. And for your question if he can deport you and your siblings, no he can't do that neither can he deport your mom. If you're still doubtful about whether or not he can deport you or not, gather evidence, record him shouting around the house or whatever so in case he take some action against you or your mom, you got evidence for DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Goodluck to you and your family.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I am 22 and I really want to move out of this house.

Do it. Leave and move on with your life. He can no more send you back than he can affect your LPR status in this country. You're your own person.

Good luck.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Gegel

[dwightcharles 12]

How is your 13 year old sister paying the same as you?

I have two sisters here. one is 13 and the other one is 24.

[anajnic 87]

So I just moved to the US in 2012 along with my other siblings. I currently have a green card and I am a permanent resident. Since I got here, I didn't really like my stepdad. I tried to look through his flaws but it just made me hate him even more. :C

He shouts at my mom. He complains about almost everything, including bills to why there's no more ice cream in the fridge. I just do not get it. I am 22 and I really want to move out of this house. I just don't get it. I am already working and I earn around $780 biweekly. I give him $250 biweekly for my share in this house and so does my sister. We pay for our own things, from deo to shampoo to lunch for work. He still complains in our face about bills and all that. He whines about the miles on his car, the gas, and all that.

My mom works really hard. She has a tough and challenging job and when she gets home, she even cooks a separate dinner for him and serves him. The whole day he's just playing in the computer. He shouts a lot to my mom and it hurts and annoys me. I wish I could do something but I havent really gotten past my boiling point yet to stand up for her.

There's just so many things already that he's done that made us cry, my mom, my sisters, even my younger brother. There was also one time, we had pork roast for dinner and I had ketchup with it, he went like "Now I just feel like you are insulting me. Ketchup is meant to be used for cheap meats." and then when my younger sister explained how we like to use ketchup in the Philippines, he said this: "That's because you're poor in the Philippines!" and that was it for me. I just hated him so much after that. He also accused us just recently of stealing $20 from his little bank box and we're like WHAT THE?!!!? WHY WOULD I STILL $20 from youuuuu!!!????? why would we still $20 PERIOD???? and he warned us that no one can ever enter their room or else "there would be hell to pay."

And also my mom has been crying because of him a lot lately and since my mom cannot really confront him, my step dad thinks that we are the one who are making her cry.

I am just soooo tired of it. So we are no longer talking to him. When he asks us question, of course, we do respond but other than that we're cold and we just hate him.

And just tonight, my sister told me that she learned from my mom that my stepdad is threatening to send us back to the Philippines because were no longer talking to him.

Can he actually do that? My mom filed the petition and not him. Do you guys think that he can actually do this to us?

I'm just like tired of it. I feel like I am better off moving out and renting my own apartment rather than being here in his house and I feel miserable.

Thank you.

This gets me zoo angry.. move out!! take your siblings, get your mum and move out.Yes its that simple. you don't need him and his misery… HE CANT DO NOTHING TO YOU , HE CAANOT SEND YOU BACK.He is cruel , wicked and evil.Runnnnnn