Husband asked me to leave

[Boiler 44,858]

This is not meant to be a go, but looking at it from the other side perhaps the view is that if it works out good, if it does not then I get to migrate.

Also in some cultures this is an investment/risk for the benefit of the whole family, Americans can look at it from a selfish perspective.

[Cathi 5,696]

I appreciate all of the feedback everyone has given. Just to share a few more details: When she left her husbands house, she asked him to give her a signed document indicating that he asked her to leave the house. She also has cell phone video of his verbal abuse towards her.

As far as proving a relationship, this will be the hard part. His attitude went down the toilet a very short time AFTER they got MARRIED and filed the AOS I485. He's also lied to us about his wife as he called us and told us that she was the one that threatened to move out of the house and in with one of his friends. It's hard to prove who's telling the truth, but given her written and video evidence, plus the fact that she left the state to come stay with us, that to me proves that she has no where else to go. If she had stayed with her husbands male friend, it would appear that she is having an affair with him, which is definitely not the case!

The reason she wants to stay here is quite simple, actually: She gave up and entire 15 year teaching career in Manila to come be with this man in the US. She, unlike many others, was living a comfortable life in the Philippines and chose to give that up for this guy. Unfortunately, unlike the US, it's not easy to re-establish yourself in the Philippines after leaving. Now, she is here, with no other friends besides us, and since she is stuck here, without any savings, why not try to make a new life for herself in the US, LEGALLY? I personally don't have a problem with this.

One more thing I'd like to add: Our friend had no knowledge that my wife was even living and married in the US when she arrived. She had only found out through a neutral person in the Philippines that we were living here. Prior to their reconnection, they hadn't had contact in over 10 years. I'm only putting this out there because some people may say our friend deliberately came here so she could eventually wind up with us. Definitely not the case. We are just looking for good, unbiased advice on how to help our friend the legal way. Thanks again everyone for your time.

So? You don't think it will be a lot more difficult for her to start a new life and career in a country where she knows virtually no one but you? It would be far more easy to go home and re-establish herself than to start from scratch in the US. You make it sound like she had this dream job and wonderful family at home, she was heartbroken to leave it all, now after spending a few weeks here in a so called terrible marriage she would rather stay here with a bunch of strangers rather than go home to everything she knows and loves. If she was so heartbroken to leave she would be running back. Sounds to me she or you have been reading up on VAWA and are looking for reasons to be able to file. You say he wanted a slave, does she have proof? Or did she ask him for a letter for that too? This whole story seems far fetched. We gave you unbiased advice, she needs to go home, she has no other choice. Just because it isn't the answer you were looking for, doesn't mean it isn't the correct advice. Why do people ask questions here and then get upset that it isn't what they want to hear?

Pretty obvious I would have thought, just hit the PI and MENA forums.

scamming happens from every country

[Cathi 5,696]

You, being a Filipino, probably would understand that there is a certain amount of "pride" towards returning after a failed relationship abroad. I've been happily married to my Filipina wife for over 6 years now. We have two beautiful little boys and are both working towards a positive future. However, according to my wife, she understands completely the "pride" thing.

Not to judge you, but my wife says it is VERY common in the Philippines for family and friends to gossip and be nosey about the person who traveled abroad. It's all too common for someone like my wife's friend here to go home to the Philippines to not only struggle at getting her life back, but having to deal with the criticism of others. Yes, we Americans are not perfect. We tend to be nosey with the people around us as well, but for the most part, we keep our personal feelings to ourselves or between close friends or loved ones. It is, however, common for other Filipinos to confront one another and belittle someone who "failed" in an American marriage, or any other foreign country for that matter. It's almost not worth going home to the Philippines to have to deal with the "BS" of gossip on a failed relationship along with the other struggles she'd have to deal with. To each their own, I guess.

For the people who keep asking why, ask yourself the same question? If you gave up almost everything, as our friend did, would it be easy for you to piece things back together? Remember, put yourselves in her shoes..... It may be easy for one person to hop a plane and pretend their experience didn't happen, but it's not so easy for others. Why not try to make it work here, since she is already here? Maybe she can't get a teaching job here in the US, but being an educated person from the Philippines who speaks nearly fluent Englsih, I think it's an exaggeration to say she'd be working in a dead end job making minimum wage. Just my opinion though. All I know is if this happened to any other close friend or family member of mine, I'm going to do everything I can to help that person while they are still here legally.

It's easier for her to go home and piece things together than to start from zero in a country where she knows no one.

[Boiler 44,858]

I have no idea if she was scamming or not.

I do believe that there are often different expectations, I think I have mentioned Pride and Prejudice before.

Now there is nothing necessarily wrong with the expectations, they just need to be acknowledged.

[anajnic 87]

So? You don't think it will be a lot more difficult for her to start a new life and career in a country where she knows virtually no one but you? It would be far more easy to go home and re-establish herself than to start from scratch in the US. You make it sound like she had this dream job and wonderful family at home, she was heartbroken to leave it all, now after spending a few weeks here in a so called terrible marriage she would rather stay here with a bunch of strangers rather than go home to everything she knows and loves. If she was so heartbroken to leave she would be running back. Sounds to me she or you have been reading up on VAWA and are looking for reasons to be able to file. You say he wanted a slave, does she have proof? Or did she ask him for a letter for that too? This whole story seems far fetched. We gave you unbiased advice, she needs to go home, she has no other choice. Just because it isn't the answer you were looking for, doesn't mean it isn't the correct advice. Why do people ask questions here and then get upset that it isn't what they want to hear?

scamming happens from every country

She can read up on many vawa cases if she wants she does not have a vawa case at a llll, she will so waste her time and of course be deported in the process

[verysadguy 170]

She can read up on many vawa cases if she wants she does not have a vawa case at a llll, she will so waste her time and of course be deported in the process

I hope you are right, but singledadusc says every single VAWA case this year will be approved. LOL

My ex completely lied about every aspect of her vawa...and she is still here in the USA (not in removal proceedings) raping the system for cash...lucky her.

[anajnic 87]

I hope you are right, but singledadusc says every single VAWA case this year will be approved. LOL

My ex completely lied about every aspect of her vawa...and she is still here in the USA (not in removal proceedings) raping the system for cash...lucky her.

pay him no mind, she can lie about Vawa and get approved , but what happens after.. did she get green card?

[verysadguy 170]

pay him no mind, she can lie about Vawa and get approved , but what happens after.. did she get green card?

In my case, my ex has the right to confidentiality. Last I know legally, if it was even true, she had an appeal granted in March 2013. Obviously, her first round was denied. Remember, these people can refile their VAWA cases mulitiple times and keep getting "deferred action status" the ultimate "get out of jail free" card in all of US Justice.

So, I don't know if she has a green card or not. She is lying on her taxes though and a couple of other shady dealings.

Back to this poster though, all she has to do is call the cops. Say he yelled at her and file the police report and move to a shelter. She's almost guaranteed a green card after that. I had a USCIS special agent tell me that in New York state, yelling at your spouse is considered "extreme cruelty." I kid you not....

[Jawaree 717]

I feel for your friend but she has no leg to stand her ground after her I-94 expires,

I' d tell her go home B4 that happens, cancel the petition, and a later time apply

for a tourist visa after getting her proofs of ties to home...Y...I think it may work in

her favor to prove she was there & when the circumstances changed she was

honest in dealing with USCIS by doing the right thing...getting a ban is not the way

to go USCIS investigations does catch up with ppl eventually.