Husband asked me to leave

[anajnic 87]

Just curious how she would do this "legally"

im curios too, can't even prove bonafide marriage for Vawa.since the marriage was so short-lived. An attorney will simply take your money and try to file a vawa case , she will not prevail in that venture..

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

What a mess.

If as originally posted--if everything is true--the guy ought to be strung up.

But the "if" is such a big thing.

At first--I was almost certain that this was about me and my wife--who abruptly left me on January 8th and whose whereabouts are unknown except.....and--get this--whose last call was from Mesa, Arizona, where the OP lives.

When Juliet left--seeing the misery ahead--I did create a paper and asked her to at least jointly end the marriage. And seeing the similarity I became almost certain that the OP was fronting for my Juliet. People repeatedly had warned me: "expect a VAWA." Have no doubt--that is a fear-inducing thought.

Yet--later the OP talked about the immigrant having taught for 15 years--so that knocks my case out--or so it seems.

Does she have a case: Yes, No, Maybe so...VAWA seems notorious for not verifying what is claimed. From what I hear, often the "accused" or rather "the one who does not even know he/she is accused) and yes, VAWA is used by males against females too. Read up on it VAWA IS abused by immigrants. Constitutional Rights go right out the window. In fact some allege that VAWA is used purposely by seditious elements as a means to gain entry to the US, sort of by a back door. I don't care to debate that--but after reading on VAWA--I see so very many problem and it seems more often to me that the immigrant side can misuse it intentionally. IMHO VAWA needs to be tightened--investigative improvements need to be made.

But how terribly sad to have come to America to find something remarkably different than what was promised and expected.. My heart goes out to this woman if things are as OP says.

And yet, my Juliet come to America--rushed to file for a SS Card--rushed to get married, and rushed to get notice that AOS was accepted by USCIS--unbeknownst to me opens a new account here and asks just two questions: When does AOS get accepted? And then then then, within hours of USCIS acceptance of AOS she split. Gone. What am I to think?

Split as in: "Thank you," at the airport. No tears, no looking back--no response for days--until I made a plea on Facebook whereupon I got a:" I"m ok, than you for your consideration." Huh? What about "to love and cherish till death do us part?" Did I miss something, was it "to love and cherish until United Air takes off?"

I still expect a VAWA claim, though I would fight it tooth and nail and have tons of evidence that would disprove such a claim such as: I called Woman's Protective Services and asked them to intervene because I was so fearful that I might accidentally not protect her, or that dropping her off at the airport would constitute "abandonment" = cruel abuse. Or that by her standing outside in 5 degree weather without a coat to force me to take her to the airport required action on my part.

VAWA is good--nobody should be abused, but from what I have read VAWA often--very often--never even makes an effort to analyze evidence objectively.

What a sad mess--while most K-1's come and go--with more or less a normal amount of friction and arguments, and ultimately successful and healthy relationships--clearly there are abusive elements on both sides. We cannot tell in this case.

In my case Ate (elder sister), or so as my Juliet says lives here undocumented (illegally) and has for many years. She works enough to have, or so the evidence seems, purchased two houses in Cebu and land in Bohol, Philippines, and to build a house in Cebu. Juliet says Ate works under-the-table as an LNA (Licensed Nurses Assintance) but nursing records are public--and I looked them up--wrong! Ate has failed the LNA 4x--she is not a licensed LNA but yet appears to be working in the health field. Put this together and I cannot wonder if it is that Ate is coaching my Juliet--and that in time, or perhaps already--(unlike most cases--accused often do not even have an idea) and that a VAWA claim is in action of forthcoming. How can I even tell?

Clearly VAWA could be effective IF the system could truly investigate the facts and weed out the real abusers and also weed out the scammers.

And please--anyone who gets involved--be very careful. Demand objective facts. Please don't be an enabler, yet on the other hand--when you see true abuse--if you can, be an advocate.

OP I do hope this gets sorted out--life is too short and you are correct--if the woman taught for 15 years, even if she is only 35--she will ilkely never get a job in the Phils--age discrimination is rampant--to a degree that most American cannot fathom.

And yet I look at my almost friend who is an immigrant in NH, my state and see the wondrous photos of her lovely daughter--and the smiles of the father--and I think, even if some us us unwittingly fall by the wayside--it is worth it--and I will edure, no matter what. Of this I am certain.

[anajnic 87]

What a mess.

If as originally posted--if everything is true--the guy ought to be strung up.

But the "if" is such a big thing.

At first--I was almost certain that this was about me and my wife--who abruptly left me on January 8th and whose whereabouts are unknown except.....and--get this--whose last call was from Mesa, Arizona, where the OP lives.

When Juliet left--seeing the misery ahead--I did create a paper and asked her to at least jointly end the marriage. And seeing the similarity I became almost certain that the OP was fronting for my Juliet. People repeatedly had warned me: "expect a VAWA." Have no doubt--that is a fear-inducing thought.

Yet--later the OP talked about the immigrant having taught for 15 years--so that knocks my case out--or so it seems.

Does she have a case: Yes, No, Maybe so...VAWA seems notorious for not verifying what is claimed. From what I hear, often the "accused" or rather "the one who does not even know he/she is accused) and yes, VAWA is used by males against females too. Read up on it VAWA IS abused by immigrants. Constitutional Rights go right out the window. In fact some allege that VAWA is used purposely by seditious elements as a means to gain entry to the US, sort of by a back door. I don't care to debate that--but after reading on VAWA--I see so very many problem and it seems more often to me that the immigrant side can misuse it intentionally. IMHO VAWA needs to be tightened--investigative improvements need to be made.

But how terribly sad to have come to America to find something remarkably different than what was promised and expected.. My heart goes out to this woman if things are as OP says.

And yet, my Juliet come to America--rushed to file for a SS Card--rushed to get married, and rushed to get notice that AOS was accepted by USCIS--unbeknownst to me opens a new account here and asks just two questions: When does AOS get accepted? And then then then, within hours of USCIS acceptance of AOS she split. Gone. What am I to think?

Split as in: "Thank you," at the airport. No tears, no looking back--no response for days--until I made a plea on Facebook whereupon I got a:" I"m ok, than you for your consideration." Huh? What about "to love and cherish till death do us part?" Did I miss something, was it "to love and cherish until United Air takes off?"

I still expect a VAWA claim, though I would fight it tooth and nail and have tons of evidence that would disprove such a claim such as: I called Woman's Protective Services and asked them to intervene because I was so fearful that I might accidentally not protect her, or that dropping her off at the airport would constitute "abandonment" = cruel abuse. Or that by her standing outside in 5 degree weather without a coat to force me to take her to the airport required action on my part.

VAWA is good--nobody should be abused, but from what I have read VAWA often--very often--never even makes an effort to analyze evidence objectively.

What a sad mess--while most K-1's come and go--with more or less a normal amount of friction and arguments, and ultimately successful and healthy relationships--clearly there are abusive elements on both sides. We cannot tell in this case.

In my case Ate (elder sister), or so as my Juliet says lives here undocumented (illegally) and has for many years. She works enough to have, or so the evidence seems, purchased two houses in Cebu and land in Bohol, Philippines, and to build a house in Cebu. Juliet says Ate works under-the-table as an LNA (Licensed Nurses Assintance) but nursing records are public--and I looked them up--wrong! Ate has failed the LNA 4x--she is not a licensed LNA but yet appears to be working in the health field. Put this together and I cannot wonder if it is that Ate is coaching my Juliet--and that in time, or perhaps already--(unlike most cases--accused often do not even have an idea) and that a VAWA claim is in action of forthcoming. How can I even tell?

Clearly VAWA could be effective IF the system could truly investigate the facts and weed out the real abusers and also weed out the scammers.

And please--anyone who gets involved--be very careful. Demand objective facts. Please don't be an enabler, yet on the other hand--when you see true abuse--if you can, be an advocate.

OP I do hope this gets sorted out--life is too short and you are correct--if the woman taught for 15 years, even if she is only 35--she will ilkely never get a job in the Phils--age discrimination is rampant--to a degree that most American cannot fathom.

And yet I look at my almost friend who is an immigrant in NH, my state and see the wondrous photos of her lovely daughter--and the smiles of the father--and I think, even if some us us unwittingly fall by the wayside--it is worth it--and I will edure, no matter what. Of this I am certain.

Sad indeed

[Boiler 44,858]

not uncommon, could be the same case but there are many that seem to be similar.

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

Yes Boiler, that does indeed seem to be the case--and if so, some should not be deported permanently--they should spend time in prison. And if the proven guilty party is a USC he/she should spend some time in prison too.

A person wrote to me saying that they practiced law and saw perhaps 300 such cases in that one firm each year--yikes.

I know for darn shure--if a partner has a family member here--I would say BEWARE--Note: I'm not generalizing--if the family has other's who came here in the same way and after years all is good--then great. But investigate--for if there is a history it may well repeat.

And for immigrants--create a relationship with family, brothers, sisters--uncles, aunts--friends, call--ask--(interrogate) nicely.... People do not like to front for bad guys... if the person has issues you will hear about it. It's so hard to tell for sure--but investigate, and then...pray.

[Boiler 44,858]

The Government does not care, and is very unlikely to do anything different.

In many of the cases some problems arise from a difference in outlook, for example PI the arrangement is more an investment for the family as a whole. Different cultures, different expectations, different outcomes.

[verysadguy 170]

I would have thought you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to type my username after the hissy fit you threw previously.

Not every foreigner is a leech like the person you petitioned for. There's a reason why VAWA is created.

Good point!

[verysadguy 170]

Vawa was created to help aliens fleeing domestic violence and or extreme cruelty, not to people adjust status because left everything behind in their home Country.

Your friend has to prove she suffered extreme cruelty to the point she is now suffering major depression and or pos traumatic disorder. She needs to have a psychological evaluation to prove that. Extreme cruelty is a repetitive pattern of humiliation, degradation,threats, control,offensive language etc...

I saw many cases some women described "my husband was abusing me, he demanded I clean the house, cook, take care of his kids,well this is not abuse, it means the alien got married to a mean person.The abuse suffered must change the alien's behavior, such as the person was upbeat, outgoing,caring etc, now the person lives in fear, walking in egg shells,became hyper vigilant, the alien is having problem to sleep, eat to function properly.

This is a fantastic review of what extreme cruelty really is. I'm still concerned that a well coached "victim" can fool a psychologist pretty easily on these evaluations. I've had many patients who were bipolar or had personality disorders and they can be pretty convincing contrivers. Do you see "con" here?

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Since cons is such popular forum subject: who has more opportunity for "unequal marriage" con? Choose: USC or outsider

Edited January 20, 2014 by SingleDad2usc

[Umka36 781]

Both

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Then why no one calls it a "con", when unscrupulous USC shops unequal marriage based on sponsorship promise (to both young foreigner and USCIS), and then backs out of the promise?

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

Then why no one calls it a "con", when unscrupulous USC shops unequal marriage based on sponsorship promise (to both young foreigner and USCIS), and then backs out of the promise?

Any "unscrupulous" USC who picks up a "young foreigner" and then backs out is either nutz or an insane. Who in their right mind would pick up a "young" foreigner, go to many thousands of dollars expense and then dump her? For what--an older materially absorbed American chick?

I wouldn't call such a fellow a "con" I'd call him an idiot.

Note: The American chick thing is a generalization, more or less, and I apologize wholeheartedly to those quality American babes that are not materially fixated, as I heard that there were at least seven women left in America that don't fit the description and that five of them were here at VJ

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Not a matter of CALLING: leave this privilege to long-term members who call young foreigners a "con" in many a topic, and who call long-term members coming to their defense an "idiot".

What's so massively unclear in current topic: USC caused the current legally un-solvable tragedy. He brought the foreigner here based on sponsorship promise, and with zero regard to what his new wife actually was and what she wished for. Then he just said pack up and leave. Next USCs like him will be encouraged by the same long-term members to report his ex- to USCIS as fraud, because "she wants to stay" in the US. You don't have to call it a "con" - but what's her protection?

Edited January 20, 2014 by SingleDad2usc

[belinda63 3,022]

What benefit would a USC gain from scamming a foreigner? Spending thousands of dollars to bring the to the US as a scam?

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Again: no need to call his actions anything. But what's her protection?