Husband asked me to leave

[jamster0105 7]

I appreciate all of the feedback everyone has given. Just to share a few more details: When she left her husbands house, she asked him to give her a signed document indicating that he asked her to leave the house. She also has cell phone video of his verbal abuse towards her.

As far as proving a relationship, this will be the hard part. His attitude went down the toilet a very short time AFTER they got MARRIED and filed the AOS I485. He's also lied to us about his wife as he called us and told us that she was the one that threatened to move out of the house and in with one of his friends. It's hard to prove who's telling the truth, but given her written and video evidence, plus the fact that she left the state to come stay with us, that to me proves that she has no where else to go. If she had stayed with her husbands male friend, it would appear that she is having an affair with him, which is definitely not the case!

The reason she wants to stay here is quite simple, actually: She gave up and entire 15 year teaching career in Manila to come be with this man in the US. She, unlike many others, was living a comfortable life in the Philippines and chose to give that up for this guy. Unfortunately, unlike the US, it's not easy to re-establish yourself in the Philippines after leaving. Now, she is here, with no other friends besides us, and since she is stuck here, without any savings, why not try to make a new life for herself in the US, LEGALLY? I personally don't have a problem with this.

One more thing I'd like to add: Our friend had no knowledge that my wife was even living and married in the US when she arrived. She had only found out through a neutral person in the Philippines that we were living here. Prior to their reconnection, they hadn't had contact in over 10 years. I'm only putting this out there because some people may say our friend deliberately came here so she could eventually wind up with us. Definitely not the case. We are just looking for good, unbiased advice on how to help our friend the legal way. Thanks again everyone for your time.

[slowlyman 118]

I appreciate all of the feedback everyone has given. Just to share a few more details: When she left her husbands house, she asked him to give her a signed document indicating that he asked her to leave the house. She also has cell phone video of his verbal abuse towards her.

As far as proving a relationship, this will be the hard part. His attitude went down the toilet a very short time AFTER they got MARRIED and filed the AOS I485. He's also lied to us about his wife as he called us and told us that she was the one that threatened to move out of the house and in with one of his friends. It's hard to prove who's telling the truth, but given her written and video evidence, plus the fact that she left the state to come stay with us, that to me proves that she has no where else to go. If she had stayed with her husbands male friend, it would appear that she is having an affair with him, which is definitely not the case!

The reason she wants to stay here is quite simple, actually: She gave up and entire 15 year teaching career in Manila to come be with this man in the US. She, unlike many others, was living a comfortable life in the Philippines and chose to give that up for this guy. Unfortunately, unlike the US, it's not easy to re-establish yourself in the Philippines after leaving. Now, she is here, with no other friends besides us, and since she is stuck here, without any savings, why not try to make a new life for herself in the US, LEGALLY? I personally don't have a problem with this.

One more thing I'd like to add: Our friend had no knowledge that my wife was even living and married in the US when she arrived. She had only found out through a neutral person in the Philippines that we were living here. Prior to their reconnection, they hadn't had contact in over 10 years. I'm only putting this out there because some people may say our friend deliberately came here so she could eventually wind up with us. Definitely not the case. We are just looking for good, unbiased advice on how to help our friend the legal way. Thanks again everyone for your time.

Just curious how she would do this "legally"

[ManCharsey 254]

People are just quick to judge others for no reason just because they are not experiencing the same thing.

I know someone here whose husband was continually abusing her and drawing a pistol on her threatening to kill her if she did anything stupid for like 2 years. Calling her African ***** and how he would kick her back to Africa and take their kids away from her etc. she was concealing all this from everyone for reasons no one knows..perhaps out of love or because she was really scared by his threats. Eventually she was able to leave..she's now a US citizen by her own merit and happily married to someone else.

I don't think violence against women is something to be joked with. I have a sister so it really hurts me when any woman goes through this. People need to offer advice in a constructive way rather than just throwing the fraud and scammer card. She is here in America and knows nobody. She gave up her entire life just to be here only to be treated like this. Please people..give her a break!

[Umka36 781]

If it's a true case of VAWA, then have her file under that. But she better have concrete proof. Other than that she has no other way to stay in the US legally unless her and her husband can reconcile.

I'm going to alway disagree with Gowon crusade at abolishing the K1, just because of reading the horror stories on JV. VJ is only a small sample of people filing. And what about the successful stories who did the K1, is that to be ignored? There are alway going to be those that abuse the system for both petitioner and beneficiary. You make it sound as if it's always the petition that is to be at fault.

[Misha'sgirl 44]

Did she recieve a domestic violence pamplet handed out at the time of her K1 visa interview? If so, it should state that if the USC spouse threatens to deport her then she can report him and I think maybe even sue him. What a jerk!! Maybe someone knows something more about the domestic violence.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Just curious how she would do this "legally"

That's what OP is trying to find out and why he is seeking the assistance of the forum. If you can't help him then at least stay out of his way.

People are just quick to judge others for no reason just because they are not experiencing the same thing.

I know someone here whose husband was continually abusing her and drawing a pistol on her threatening to kill her if she did anything stupid for like 2 years. Calling her African ***** and how he would kick her back to Africa and take their kids away from her etc. she was concealing all this from everyone for reasons no one knows..perhaps out of love or because she was really scared by his threats. Eventually she was able to leave..she's now a US citizen by her own merit and happily married to someone else.

I don't think violence against women is something to be joked with. I have a sister so it really hurts me when any woman goes through this. People need to offer advice in a constructive way rather than just throwing the fraud and scammer card. She is here in America and knows nobody. She gave up her entire life just to be here only to be treated like this. Please people..give her a break!

The issue that I've seen is that some USC, not saying the alleged abuser in this case is, are caught in a situation they can't control and then they yell scam.

I completely understand when an immigrant wants to pursue staying in the USA after a failed relationship, it makes sense. They've given up everything at home to come here, what's there to return to? We are quick on here to say that K1 is not a get to know your fiance better visa, so why do USC quick to want to send the immigrants home? USCIS/DOS is also culpable, the USC the immigrant knows on vacation is not usually the same person you live with day in day out in the USA with all our modern issues of living. I think some of the ones getting upset about my stance are those who want to use the K1 as a test run visa. That option should be removed from the table. USC should go into the marriage knowing the full repercussion of bringing a foreigner here.

I appreciate all of the feedback everyone has given. Just to share a few more details: When she left her husbands house, she asked him to give her a signed document indicating that he asked her to leave the house. She also has cell phone video of his verbal abuse towards her.

As far as proving a relationship, this will be the hard part. His attitude went down the toilet a very short time AFTER they got MARRIED and filed the AOS I485. He's also lied to us about his wife as he called us and told us that she was the one that threatened to move out of the house and in with one of his friends. It's hard to prove who's telling the truth, but given her written and video evidence, plus the fact that she left the state to come stay with us, that to me proves that she has no where else to go. If she had stayed with her husbands male friend, it would appear that she is having an affair with him, which is definitely not the case!

The reason she wants to stay here is quite simple, actually: She gave up and entire 15 year teaching career in Manila to come be with this man in the US. She, unlike many others, was living a comfortable life in the Philippines and chose to give that up for this guy. Unfortunately, unlike the US, it's not easy to re-establish yourself in the Philippines after leaving. Now, she is here, with no other friends besides us, and since she is stuck here, without any savings, why not try to make a new life for herself in the US, LEGALLY? I personally don't have a problem with this.

One more thing I'd like to add: Our friend had no knowledge that my wife was even living and married in the US when she arrived. She had only found out through a neutral person in the Philippines that we were living here. Prior to their reconnection, they hadn't had contact in over 10 years. I'm only putting this out there because some people may say our friend deliberately came here so she could eventually wind up with us. Definitely not the case. We are just looking for good, unbiased advice on how to help our friend the legal way. Thanks again everyone for your time.

I understand. I think some folks may have low self esteem and can only woo someone from the villages or province. They don't understand that some of the immigrants are actually living comfortable lives, K1 visas are not just for people living in a dirt floor,some immigrants who use it are Doctors, Lawyers, Bankers, Teachers, etc It's not fair to ask a therapist, that gave up a thriving practise to move to the US, to go back and start all over in the home country. Some can and will, but they should never be forced to return just because the USC had a change of heart.

If immigrants study the different visa types they should never agree to a K1. It leaves them completely exposed. A CR1 protects them.

Edited January 19, 2014 by Gowon

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If it's a true case of VAWA, then have her file under that. But she better have concrete proof. Other than that she has no other way to stay in the US legally unless her and her husband can reconcile.

I'm going to alway disagree with Gowon crusade at abolishing the K1, just because of reading the horror stories on JV. VJ is only a small sample of people filing. And what about the successful stories who did the K1, is that to be ignored? There are alway going to be those that abuse the system for both petitioner and beneficiary. You make it sound as if it's always the petition that is to be at fault.

I am matured enough to understand that there will be differing viewpoints.

Thanks for correctly spelling my username by the way, it's only a 5 letter word and I don't understand why some have problem with such a simple name.

Edited January 19, 2014 by Gowon

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Alas, if you google USA IQ rating, you will find the US near bottom of 25 - way behind most of the SouthEast Asia. So no matter what he says she says - USCIS will not deem this sprint marriage bona fide. Might be on his account, rather than hers!

[AmyWrites 593]

Alas, if you google USA IQ rating, you will find the US near bottom of 25 - way behind most of the SouthEast Asia.

How is that relevant?

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Vawa was created to help aliens fleeing domestic violence and or extreme cruelty, not to people adjust status because left everything behind in their home Country.

Your friend has to prove she suffered extreme cruelty to the point she is now suffering major depression and or pos traumatic disorder. She needs to have a psychological evaluation to prove that. Extreme cruelty is a repetitive pattern of humiliation, degradation,threats, control,offensive language etc...

I saw many cases some women described "my husband was abusing me, he demanded I clean the house, cook, take care of his kids,well this is not abuse, it means the alien got married to a mean person.The abuse suffered must change the alien's behavior, such as the person was upbeat, outgoing,caring etc, now the person lives in fear, walking in egg shells,became hyper vigilant, the alien is having problem to sleep, eat to function properly.

Edited January 19, 2014 by sandranj

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Consider what Gowon talked about:

"I think some folks may have low self esteem and can only woo someone from the villages or province. They don't understand that some of the immigrants are actually living comfortable lives, K1 visas are not just for people living in a dirt floor,some immigrants who use it are Doctors, Lawyers, Bankers, Teachers, etc"

And consider what the bride sounded out: the husband brought her to the US based on own agenda, which hasn't in the least included what she actually was. Bona fide marriage, or intended slavery?

How is that relevant?

[Boiler 45,525]

If you truly want to help her you would fund her ticket home and help her re establish herself.

[Ron and Rhea 42]

I agree with Gowon....my wife self adjusted herself after her divorce. She came to America, got married. Got her green card....the marriage didn't work out, as 56% of marriages in the US don't work out. She divorced him. He screemed fraud, etc, threatened to kick her out of country etc, (this was before I met her)....she educated herself and learned after they married he could not deport her, as he threatened. In fact the husband or fiance has no authority over their spouses or spouses to be. The only control they have is to NOT marry them within the 90 day period...then immigration is the one that takes care of her going back to her native country.

She can self petition...she will have to prove they ENTERED the marriage in good faith, ie joint bills, etc....just because ones marriage falls apart doesn't mean FRUAD as so many love to say....The FRAUD can actually be the husband who pretends to be a good guy but in reality is a doucher.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Well that's the problem: there was no meeting of minds prior to this marriage. They both came in with agendas that disregarded the other's. And of course it fell thru quick

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If you truly want to help her you would fund her ticket home and help her re establish herself.

An astute option.

But how many posts have you ever read that starts out saying "Help, my marriage ended and I need to know how to set up my Ex WIfes old dental practise in Ogbomosho?"

What we normally hear from USC is "Help, I need to deport my scamming Ex Wife back to her thatched hut".