I dont want to marry her anymore

[Problemado 0]

Hi everyone, my name is Marc and I want to share to you my ordeal right now, in 1 week me and my fiancee are getting married but I don't want to marry her anymore. We've been together for 8yrs (3yrs together in PI and 5yrs long distance). I met her online back in the days when we are still in college, thru mIRC and friendster, We became chat mates to friends and eventually i asked her out. It was love at first sight and i knew after seeing her for the first time, i know she will be the one. I started courting her and after 3months we became lovers. it was perfect back then, we're almost alike and liked the same thing ... And 3yrs Have passed and their family migrated to the USA, our relationship almost ended back then, but we agreed that we will still continue our relationship. Many years have gone by and she became an RN, and I became a successful business owner. Every year she vacations to the PI in order just to be with me and that's one part i loves about her.. But every year she comes home, she becomes a new person but I blindly don't want to see it because i am happy just to be with her, even though I know deep inside that she is not the same person anymore. And I hope that everything's gonna be alright as long we loves each other. In April 2013 she got her citizenship and applied me for a k1 visa I got approved. I sold my business, I quitted my job and had to left my mother alone. Im a single child and i don't have a father anymore. In Nov 2013 I got here in the USA, we are living now with her family for the mean time. And the problems shows up, she is like a new person now and not the same person she used to be. We are having arguments everyday and little by little I am starting to hate her and myself... What should i do? We sacrifice a lot in order to get here.. I don't want to ruined our relationship and our families, but at the same time I am ready to buy a ticket to go home.

Edited January 18, 2014 by Problemado

[MandyLouDarling 0]

I think you should be honest with her. Have this chat with your fiance. Nobody knows your heart and head more than yourself. I'm sure she has noticed the changes in your relationship as well. You may can come to an agreement that things just aren't working out and go your separate ways or, may agree that some things can be worked on and take a chance is working on those things. After all, you said you both have come such a long way. Some things really are worth fighting for. People grow throughout their lives. Which means sometimes people change, too. It is whether or not you as a couple can grow and change together and make it work.

Call me old fashioned but, I live by - "Honesty is the best policy".

Best of luck to you both

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I know as a K1 you don't have much time but go to a consular. Try at least one really good session with a professional. Your fiancee is probably feeling a bit of the same. It soulds like now is not the time to marry, you can go home, maybe some long distance consoling sessions and if thngs work out you can get petitioned again , otherwise it was not meant to be forever.

[luckytxn 2,265]

Go home and be happy.

[Ontarkie 14,394]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from Off Topic~~

[merkin&regine 18]

Hi everyone, my name is Marc and I want to share to you my ordeal right now, in 1 week me and my fiancee are getting married but I don't want to marry her anymore. We've been together for 8yrs (3yrs together in PI and 5yrs long distance). I met her online back in the days when we are still in college, thru mIRC and friendster, We became chat mates to friends and eventually i asked her out. It was love at first sight and i knew after seeing her for the first time, i know she will be the one. I started courting her and after 3months we became lovers. it was perfect back then, we're almost alike and liked the same thing ... And 3yrs Have passed and their family migrated to the USA, our relationship almost ended back then, but we agreed that we will still continue our relationship. Many years have gone by and she became an RN, and I became a successful business owner. Every year she vacations to the PI in order just to be with me and that's one part i loves about her.. But every year she comes home, she becomes a new person but I blindly don't want to see it because i am happy just to be with her, even though I know deep inside that she is not the same person anymore. And I hope that everything's gonna be alright as long we loves each other. In April 2013 she got her citizenship and applied me for a k1 visa I got approved. I sold my business, I quitted my job and had to left my mother alone. Im a single child and i don't have a father anymore. In Nov 2013 I got here in the USA, we are living now with her family for the mean time. And the problems shows up, she is like a new person now and not the same person she used to be. We are having arguments everyday and little by little I am starting to hate her and myself... What should i do? We sacrifice a lot in order to get here.. I don't want to ruined our relationship and our families, but at the same time I am ready to buy a ticket to go home.

Hi, trying to advise you by experience. Just to let you know, living together as a couple is a whole new ballgame, it's not the same as couples living apart from each other. Lower your expectations and try to compromise. (This is what couples do to survive a relationship). The hardest part of a relationship is the first year of living together, this is an adjustment stage, you just have to talk about your problems and why & what are you arguing about.

You are also adjusting with the new culture/environment, not used to what you were doing before and this is normal. I'm sure its hard for you to accept that you can't do the things that you use to do before... BUT, this is what marriage and migrating to other country is all about, you have to sacrifice and come to realize that you do have a different life now & that you need to adjust to the new life that you choose.

This is where your decision comes in, if you think that making sacrifice is not worth doing for the love of your life which you've known for 8+ yrs., then you'll have to let go. But, it's just too early to make that decision. You've been living together for just 2 months and you are trying to throw away 8 yrs of memories with her?

Anyway, everything is your decision.

Good Luck!

[Darnell 8,479]

you married? want a life with your wife?

SHIFT !!

That's it, that's all.

Sure, shifting can be a herculean task, but recent immigrants do it ALL the TIME !

[Mockingjay 10]

Your in the adjustment period. Remember you've been ldr for a long period of time and if u truly love the person u will accept her for who she is and make everything work but if u don't love her anymore then leave everything behind and go back to where u think u are happy.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Hi everyone, my name is Marc and I want to share to you my ordeal right now, in 1 week me and my fiancee are getting married but I don't want to marry her anymore. We've been together for 8yrs (3yrs together in PI and 5yrs long distance). I met her online back in the days when we are still in college, thru mIRC and friendster, We became chat mates to friends and eventually i asked her out. It was love at first sight and i knew after seeing her for the first time, i know she will be the one. I started courting her and after 3months we became lovers. it was perfect back then, we're almost alike and liked the same thing ... And 3yrs Have passed and their family migrated to the USA, our relationship almost ended back then, but we agreed that we will still continue our relationship. Many years have gone by and she became an RN, and I became a successful business owner. Every year she vacations to the PI in order just to be with me and that's one part i loves about her.. But every year she comes home, she becomes a new person but I blindly don't want to see it because i am happy just to be with her, even though I know deep inside that she is not the same person anymore. And I hope that everything's gonna be alright as long we loves each other. In April 2013 she got her citizenship and applied me for a k1 visa I got approved. I sold my business, I quitted my job and had to left my mother alone. Im a single child and i don't have a father anymore. In Nov 2013 I got here in the USA, we are living now with her family for the mean time. And the problems shows up, she is like a new person now and not the same person she used to be. We are having arguments everyday and little by little I am starting to hate her and myself... What should i do? We sacrifice a lot in order to get here.. I don't want to ruined our relationship and our families, but at the same time I am ready to buy a ticket to go home.

Forget about family, friends,etc. If you are unsure, don't get married. You may break her heart by doing so, but eventually she will be better off for if you marry her you will end up shattering her life - and yours in the process. Move on with your life.