Husband Quit Being Affectionate & Left [split topic]

[seaguliable 6]

ok so i brought my spouse here to USA paid for everything ,after first week he stopped sex and affection ,barely talked to me although he did go places I asked him to like parks for first month or two

He really dose not seem to have a physical interest in me and we fight over this alot because i do not understand why he does not want it.He has now packed up and left (we have only been together here 7 months ) and wont tell me where he is or who is staying with.He says he still loves me and will call me when he wants to come back .He dose not answer my calls or texts and yes i probably bug him with texts to much ,but only becvause I dont understand it.

He really dose not seem to have a physical interest in me and we fight over this alot because i do not understand why he does not want it.He has now packed up over half his stuff and left (we have been together only 7 months ) and wont tell me where he is or who is staying with.He said he is staying with a friend he met.He is on a CR1 visa with a 12 month i-555 work permit what ever that means.I want to know am I responsible for him financially still or for any illegal actions he might do? and what if I found out he lied on his application about names used? Am I responsible for that too? What am I responsible for in this big mess?

Edited January 18, 2014 by seawash

[aleful 1,905]

hi

illegal actions no, you are responsible if he goes on certain government aid, the government might want you to pay for it, even if you divorce him, which I think you should, it seems he used you for a GC

[seaguliable 6]

wow ,did I get screwed,does he get to stay here for how long? and what happens when his i-555 expires in may?Is the CR1 still good?,and is what he did legal??

Edited January 18, 2014 by seaguliable

[Aya_P 17]

i got here less than a month ago. my wife told me how others cautioned her about bringing me here, and i didn't understand, it didn't make sense, i was annoyed some of the time.

i spoke to be a friend who's here in the usa but we schooled together back in my home country, and he was telling me what my then fiancee did for me rarely happens these days because people especially from so called "high risk" countries want to get to the usa by hook or crook.

he told me he even knows guys who had pregnant american partners, but these US partners still refused to file for them to immigrate to the usa.

i didn't understand why it should be that way, thus the risk of getting abandonned.

for me, two people who want to spend the future together in this situation (long distance) should have one relocate to the other's country, for love and happiness, finish.

also i notice when the foreigner comes here and socialises with people from his/her home country, they most atimes get advised wrongly about leaving their partners.

i feel sorry for what happened to you, in my opinion u were used for GC, i think u should do what u can so he cannot remove conditions on the GC.

-Tony

[belinda63 3,038]

He has his green card. There is nothing you can do. He can file to remove conditions on his own. You are on the hook for the I-864 until he works for 10 qualifying years (40 quarters), dies, loses his green card, or becomes a citizen. You can report him but after seven months it sounds like your marriage just didn't work out.You are not legally responsible for his actions just if he obtains means-tested benefits.

[Darnell 8,478]

sounds like he married you for a green card, only,

and somehow,

his coaches' advice was wrong or not heeded.

I'm sorry this happened to you, however, you can file a report with a FDNS officer at a local USCIS office. If the FDNS officer feels there was intent to fraud, intent to defraud you, he/she will write up a report, do some more investigation, and a final report will get filed into the immigrant's A-File.

The A-File is reviewed again when the immigrant applies for a removal of conditions case, leading to a 10 year green-card. The Immigration Officer handling the ROC casefile and interview will see the FDNS officer's report there, and it's possible the ROC casefile will be denied. It's a long slog, nothing immediate, and you won't know the results.

as to your responsibilities, restudy the I-864 that you signed, your responsibilities are covered there if he came in on CR-1 or IR-1 visa.

However, if he truly came in on a K-3 visa, then you signed (only) an I-134, and those are not legally enforceable. I assume no adjustment of status filed yet, as you've only talked of an I-555 document, the EAD card. K-3 visa holders are allowed to file for this, paying the fee, and to use it. But it's strange,as it's either/or.

EITHER it's a CR-1 visa, and no I-555 document needed

OR it's a K-3 visa and an I-555 document was obtained.

Something's wonky, to have an I-555 document - can verify, exactly, which visa was in his passport ?

Edited January 18, 2014 by Darnell

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

First to the OP, Nigerians tend not to be affectionate in the same way as you males. Think of your time in country and how little public display of affection there was. What goes between man and woman is private . If someone seems too pushy for sex you may get the opposite result. Every human has a different normal for sexual frequency. That being said NO sex if a bit off the charts and if you know he is doing other acts of fraud you should protect yourself. Not only are you on the hook for the I864 but if you are in a community property state the community ( your property ) might be in jeopardy to repay others. Initiate the divorce and report to the fraud unit.

P.A.@2013

After reading the post about what happened to this woman you can see why your wife was warned. People rarely come back during the journey and say they are doing great. What other on the journey read are the stories of bad endings. Although some countries have way too many bad stories,

To GOwan look at the evil of a CR1 visa maybe we should eliminate them and only allow K1 visas so that behavior like this would be uncovered

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Read the thread, saw where he was from, all suddenly made sense.

I'm afraid OP he's most likely gone unless he finds something else he needs you for.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

i got here less than a month ago. my wife told me how others cautioned her about bringing me here, and i didn't understand, it didn't make sense, i was annoyed some of the time.

i spoke to be a friend who's here in the usa but we schooled together back in my home country, and he was telling me what my then fiancee did for me rarely happens these days because people especially from so called "high risk" countries want to get to the usa by hook or crook.

he told me he even knows guys who had pregnant american partners, but these US partners still refused to file for them to immigrate to the usa.

i didn't understand why it should be that way, thus the risk of getting abandonned.

for me, two people who want to spend the future together in this situation (long distance) should have one relocate to the other's country, for love and happiness, finish.

also i notice when the foreigner comes here and socialises with people from his/her home country, they most atimes get advised wrongly about leaving their partners.

i feel sorry for what happened to you, in my opinion u were used for GC, i think u should do what u can so he cannot remove conditions on the GC.

-Tony

My Wife, thought I was living in South Africa and Ghana for the first three months of our relationship and for all that time I was planning on returning to Nigeria permanently. All these were ploys on my part to remove any interest of a green card. It wasn't until I was sure that she was on the up and up that I fessed up. So yah it's reality that we have nefarious characters that will use a USC to further their personal agendas.

ok so i brought my spouse here to USA paid for everything ,after first week he stopped sex and affection ,barely talked to me although he did go places I asked him to like parks for first month or two

He really dose not seem to have a physical interest in me and we fight over this alot because i do not understand why he does not want it.He has now packed up and left (we have only been together here 7 months ) and wont tell me where he is or who is staying with.He says he still loves me and will call me when he wants to come back .He dose not answer my calls or texts and yes i probably bug him with texts to much ,but only becvause I dont understand it.

He really dose not seem to have a physical interest in me and we fight over this alot because i do not understand why he does not want it.He has now packed up over half his stuff and left (we have been together only 7 months ) and wont tell me where he is or who is staying with.He said he is staying with a friend he met.He is on a CR1 visa with a 12 month i-555 work permit what ever that means.I want to know am I responsible for him financially still or for any illegal actions he might do? and what if I found out he lied on his application about names used? Am I responsible for that too? What am I responsible for in this big mess?

The prerequisite sorry that this is happening.

What was your courtship like? Was he affectionate during the courtship, in Nigeria?

Frankly based on what you wrote it is my opinion that you just have a bad marriage and not necessarily a scamming situation (but we can only guess) - this happens especially in cross cultural relationships.

You are not responsible for him legally and even financially (the I864 is rarely used and most Nigerian males are hard working so the chance that he'll collecting any benefits are slim).

You filed for and used the proper visa for your situation (assuming you had a proper courtship and followed all the local customs in the marital engagement), in my opinion. If you're certain that the marriage has failed all you can do is terminate it legally, inform the authorities and move on with your life.

Good luck.

[livindadream 156]

Speaking from someone who has been in this situation .....just cut your losses and move on. Dwelling on whether or not he can stay or not stay...remove conditions, not remove conditions...its all just a waste of time and energy. Look at it as being no different than any other break-up, as in, if it were a guy from the States that left you. Report that you are no longer with him, that he has left the home...just to put it on record somewhere, and close the book. I would hope you value yourself more than to accept a man that will tell you he'll call you when he wants to come back. I'm 99 percent sure he wont be going on public benefits...the same person who advised him how to leave, has already probably found him work. Besides, he wont be able to afford sending money home to his family if he's only living on welfare. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the whole "sex and affection" thing. I don't know how long you spent in Nigeria when you met him, but their PDA is not the same as most Americans. And like another poster said, if you are nagging him about not having "enough" sex, it could have been a turn off. Think about all the paperwork, checking statuses, wondering, worrying and time spent trying to get the Visa for him to come to the States....do you really want to spend MORE of this trying to get him sent back? Take comfort in knowing what comes around, goes around. I personally know of someone who left their USC wife, then went and married a woman from Nigeria (big surprise)...he was about 20 years older than her, she came to the States as his wife, he put her in Nursing school and thought he had a lovely young Nigerian wife who would be a nurse but it didn't take more than a year for her to start creeping around with a guy her own age in her class! I know this because the guy in her class was my friend She was crying to my friend about the husbands age, his demands, etc. and asking him how she could leave him without jeopardizing her status in the States. This was the same thing her "husband" did to the USC. If your husband truly used you for a GC then as my husband would say, "he'll be paid in the same coin that he spent".

[Me_Theo 25]

He wants to make you as a safe box in his life, any time he needs your help come back to you and use you for his goals. about money or GC or US citizenship and .... just best thing you can do now. filled out the divorce and report your divorce with some short explain to USCIS.

move on.

Edited January 18, 2014 by Me_Theo

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

ok so i brought my spouse here to USA paid for everything ,after first week he stopped sex and affection ,barely talked to me although he did go places I asked him to like parks for first month or two

He really dose not seem to have a physical interest in me and we fight over this alot because i do not understand why he does not want it.He has now packed up and left (we have only been together here 7 months ) and wont tell me where he is or who is staying with.He says he still loves me and will call me when he wants to come back .He dose not answer my calls or texts and yes i probably bug him with texts to much ,but only becvause I dont understand it.

He really dose not seem to have a physical interest in me and we fight over this alot because i do not understand why he does not want it.He has now packed up over half his stuff and left (we have been together only 7 months ) and wont tell me where he is or who is staying with.He said he is staying with a friend he met.He is on a CR1 visa with a 12 month i-555 work permit what ever that means.I want to know am I responsible for him financially still or for any illegal actions he might do? and what if I found out he lied on his application about names used? Am I responsible for that too? What am I responsible for in this big mess?

To stop affection and intimacy after only one week of arrival is a red flag and that sounds to me like he used you.

I do not understand the CR1 12 month work permit thing. Please clarify.

He won't tell you where he is and with whom.... he will call you when he wants to come back....he does not answer your calls and texts......

he says he still loves you....look, this behavior is NOT love, it is BS.

You say you BUG HIM too much with texts....realize he left you and is not interested in you and that is why he doesn't answer.

If he would pick up the dang phone you wouldn't have to repeatedly call him.

Don't chase someone who clearly is not interested in you. LOVE would answer the phone and be transparent about what the

hell he is doing and where and with whom. He is up to no good with the secrecy, that someone he met may be another woman.

He will push the envelope as far as you allow it. Only you can put a stop to this merry-go-round by stopping all contact instead of

chasing him down. Respect and value yourself and stop the texting and calling nonsense.

There is no such thing as "I come back when I want to" and not telling you his whereabouts in a real marriage.

The sooner you understand that the better. Stop being fodder for a user.

Change your locks and phone number and move on.

"What if I found out he lied on his application about names used" is a peculiar detailed question to ask. Makes it sound like you

already knew that when you filed. Why of all form questions did you pick this particular one ? Whatever known lie you signed your name

under you are responsible for.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Nigeriaorbust my thoughts exactly about the K1 versus CR1, at least if they bolt one can pull the affidavit of support or not

file it in the first place. More time to 'uncover' indeed.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

First to the OP, Nigerians tend not to be affectionate in the same way as you males. Think of your time in country and how little public display of affection there was. What goes between man and woman is private . If someone seems too pushy for sex you may get the opposite result. Every human has a different normal for sexual frequency. That being said NO sex if a bit off the charts and if you know he is doing other acts of fraud you should protect yourself. Not only are you on the hook for the I864 but if you are in a community property state the community ( your property ) might be in jeopardy to repay others. Initiate the divorce and report to the fraud unit.

P.A.@2013

After reading the post about what happened to this woman you can see why your wife was warned. People rarely come back during the journey and say they are doing great. What other on the journey read are the stories of bad endings. Although some countries have way too many bad stories,

To GOwan look at the evil of a CR1 visa maybe we should eliminate them and only allow K1 visas so that behavior like this would be uncovered

+1 .

I tend to believe on this forum where the faction goes according to the immigratin path they use. I read the other post about adjusting of status from tourist visa (B-2) after married in US. I might be wrong 99,99 % but I do believe whoever support AOS from B2 visa on this forum actually that's the immigration path they chose.

That's their choice to do that anyway, but had experience got B-2 visa refusal just because I wanted to see my then-boyfriend (now my fiance) and they asked my intention. They think I was going to marry him - maybe because too many B-2 visa adjusting cases?-

They should shut the hole down for B-2 visa as well. No AOS. B-2 visa is for pleasure visit NOT to get married and AOSing while in US. If you can get married in US and AOSing from B-2 visa, then why spousal visa and fiance visa are still exist?

[raven52 233]

If you have a bird in a cage, and keep it confined, it is wrong, release the bird, and if it comes back to you freely, it shall remain!!

Just an old saying in the US, I would stop talking to him, texts, and at this time report him to the agncies listed by other people commenting on this, I think you need to put this behind you, but DO report the entire incident about your relationship, sooner or later he will find trouble, and the first person he will calll you!

The best thing you can do for yourself, and aganist him is never contact him again, it only inflates his ego, and PLEASE report the incident to the authorities. File for divorce immediately, life will go on, you deserve better!