so boring

[sharky-rex 76]

wow!!! i feel like everyone as something to advise you!!!!

you should be motivated!

me after 7 months in my mother house waithing for my visa, i was just doing anything i could.

beside, i am a professional acrobat from cirque du soleil, i've been doing all king sort of jobs, construction, cleanning,veggies,teaching acrobatics...tv...on so on...

really I was not happy waiting but beleive me , once i touch the US ground, (and my boyfriend)

i am more than motivated!!!!!

you can send me personal mess if you want im gonna motivate you!!!!

hang it there!

Wow, mad respect! I really hope I get to see them perform sometime.

Marrying someone from Nebraska was 100% within her control. I don't see any difference between this and a Muslim marrying a Christian and all of us saying to expect "religious trauma" in marriage instead of counseling to marry people that are compatible. I say this in good cheer, because marriage at least for us has been wonderful because we have that compatibility despite the most drastic climate differences on earth between Philippines and Alaska.

OP is bored. I am a target for assassination, kidnapping and extortion. The MILF blew up the bridge by our house, our grocery store, assassinates Americanos, and most recently burned a lot of Zamboanga to the ground. The Maguindanao Massacre was not far from where we live. A thousand MILF fighters were assembled in Marawi City on the 23rd and we sat with an Army Captain reading intelligence reports on rebel troop movements on Christmas Eve.

I just paid extortion money to the local police because a Filipino driver ran into me, but since I am the foreigner they held me hostage at the police station until I agreed to pay him money. No citation because it was his fault, but what choice do I have when I am all alone, don't speak the language, and they are the ones with the guns? I am paying for security for my wife and kids.

I can go on, but you don't see me complaining about it. It is my choice to be here. I think that this forum should not just have the coddlers, but the people who say to buck up and deal with the decision you made too. I think I have a right to be one of those people, given what is going on here.

You just did. Look, posts like these aren't helpful. There's always someone who has it worse than you do; people starving to death, cancer, family members dying etc., but beating you over the head with it wouldn't have been helpful had you asked for advice. It's not a competition.

To the OP: do volunteer work with those less fortunate than you. It really puts things into perspective.

[Cathi 5,784]

To the OP just try to hang in there best you can, on,y a few more months and you will be able to work and drive. Volunteering is good, trying to find a hobby is good, perhaps meeting other women in church who,you have similar interest with is a good thing. Even I'd it's just having them over for coffee or tea will break up your day. I remember when I lived in Jordan for 3 months, my husband worked full time and I was alone almost 12 hours a day. I was living with his family, and although most of them spoke fluent English, his mom doesn't and she was the one I spent my days with while everyone else was out working. At first I was bored and a little angry because i felt so isolated until one day i just decided to try communicating with his mom and we made it work. We even would take a taxi to the market place and buy food and supplies, it was fun getting to know the culture. Good luck, it wil get better.

[Chicagoguy 2 27]

Do you have a library nearby ? Many local activities are listed there as well as newspaper.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

i have been in USA since 2months now and i came with a K1visa..i did the marriage within 90day and am filling for the adjustment of status..but oboy..its freaking boring to stay at home all day and sometimes it drives me crazy..i dont know if anyone is in the same situation like me..besides it too cold cos i live in Nebraska

Get out of the house and do some volunteer work like my wife has done. Volunteer at an old folks home...it will keep you from going stir crazy. Many of these homes have volunteer policies and are constantly seeking volunteers. My wife volunteered and while doing so took a CNA class. After completing the class she took the state board exam and just started work this Monday. She is not bored.

Get out, or get crazy...

P.S. As my wife was trying to find something to do she leared that you don't even need a high school diploma to become a CNA. That means anyone who is motivated and over 18 years of age can get a job in this country with starting pay at 14 dollars an hour and above. Pretty good deal!

Edited January 17, 2014 by David & Zoila

[Cam54 84]

Marrying someone from Nebraska was 100% within her control. I don't see any difference between this and a Muslim marrying a Christian and all of us saying to expect "religious trauma" in marriage instead of counseling to marry people that are compatible. I say this in good cheer, because marriage at least for us has been wonderful because we have that compatibility despite the most drastic climate differences on earth between Philippines and Alaska.

OP is bored. I am a target for assassination, kidnapping and extortion. The MILF blew up the bridge by our house, our grocery store, assassinates Americanos, and most recently burned a lot of Zamboanga to the ground. The Maguindanao Massacre was not far from where we live. A thousand MILF fighters were assembled in Marawi City on the 23rd and we sat with an Army Captain reading intelligence reports on rebel troop movements on Christmas Eve.

I just paid extortion money to the local police because a Filipino driver ran into me, but since I am the foreigner they held me hostage at the police station until I agreed to pay him money. No citation because it was his fault, but what choice do I have when I am all alone, don't speak the language, and they are the ones with the guns? I am paying for security for my wife and kids.

I can go on, but you don't see me complaining about it. It is my choice to be here. I think that this forum should not just have the coddlers, but the people who say to buck up and deal with the decision you made too. I think I have a right to be one of those people, given what is going on here.

my goodness what an incredibly unhelpful and pointless post,

please ignore this OP, you have every right to come here and have a little moan and ask for advice.

My advice like everyone else though is volunteer and also try and say yes to any social activity your husband/fiancé suggests even if shyness might make you automatically say no

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Agree 100 %....My husband is not here yet but we talk about what he should expect when he arrive and what we need to do to make it easier for him. OP, stay strong ...this will also pass. Good Luck to you.

Most excellent idea for those that are still in the process.

Edited January 17, 2014 by Gowon

[MochaMichou 26]

HI,

I have been here for 7 months and nw still awaiting my AOS to be done. I felt bored here and there but it was never too negative to make think of going back home or divorcing the man I love. Im basically still acting like a tourist. I have been travelling here and there since I came. I visited more than 7 states and 30 cities. I know these things require money and not everyone is able to travel constantly. I have also spent many boring days at home. For that reason, I bought a sewing machine. I suck at sewing but GOD!! that sewing machine is a great help to spend time inside without going insane. I adopted a fish haha and I spend a couple minutes everyday to feed her and clean up the tank. My husband bought me a car so I learn how to drive. I also love shopping and honestly going every other day to the stores make me feel so much better. I als learned how t cook and I would try to cook something new everyday. Now, I feel right at home and Im happy the way it is. I cant wait for my EAD to arrive so I can work but Im sure I will miss these days where I can d anything whenever i want.

My suggestions are :

- Adopt a dog and spend 1 hour everyday walking outside with the doggy

- if you dont know how to drive, start learning.

- Look for jobs even if you dont have EAD yet. this task takes a lot of time doing research, writing resumé, and cover letters.

- Go shopping for groceries when your husband is at work

-visit family and friends

- Check your local city website for events...

[Angela256z 30]

My husband and I did CR1/IR1, but he is having a hard time during this visit. He has been here for a visit for almost two months and he is going nuts being at home while I work. He returns to England on the 27th, but everyday he is messaging me from home saying how bored he is. LOL

[littlej 23]

yes i understand! i am usually very busy and independent back at home, the days here can be very long and boring while my fiance is working so it's important to keep busy. Volunteering is a great option

[jjbandero 39]

Hi there OP,

Just a couple of quick points, not sure what your plans for working (once you have the approvals) are, but if you do plan to work, it doesn't hurt to work on your resume early. Iff you are in a field that requires particular skills and certifications to make sure those are up to date. I have some friends who asked for my help with their resume and it turns out that while they have had great experience, they did not promote themselves in a way that is familiar to employers in the US. You can start look at job postings that are interesting to you and start planning it out so you can hit the ground running.

Cheers

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Marrying someone from Nebraska was 100% within her control. I don't see any difference between this and a Muslim marrying a Christian and all of us saying to expect "religious trauma" in marriage instead of counseling to marry people that are compatible. I say this in good cheer, because marriage at least for us has been wonderful because we have that compatibility despite the most drastic climate differences on earth between Philippines and Alaska.

OP is bored. I am a target for assassination, kidnapping and extortion. The MILF blew up the bridge by our house, our grocery store, assassinates Americanos, and most recently burned a lot of Zamboanga to the ground. The Maguindanao Massacre was not far from where we live. A thousand MILF fighters were assembled in Marawi City on the 23rd and we sat with an Army Captain reading intelligence reports on rebel troop movements on Christmas Eve.

I just paid extortion money to the local police because a Filipino driver ran into me, but since I am the foreigner they held me hostage at the police station until I agreed to pay him money. No citation because it was his fault, but what choice do I have when I am all alone, don't speak the language, and they are the ones with the guns? I am paying for security for my wife and kids.

I can go on, but you don't see me complaining about it. It is my choice to be here. I think that this forum should not just have the coddlers, but the people who say to buck up and deal with the decision you made too. I think I have a right to be one of those people, given what is going on here.

You know, riogan,

You really are allowed to be supportive of someone else. Offering them empathy doesn't take anything away from you or your hardships. This isn't a competition - your challenges don't need to be used to negate his challenges because you don't find them a challenge. You are not him. His challenges don't make your challenges any less challenging or real for you either. Neither are 'better' or 'worse' than the other because each of you find yourselves in situations that are taking you outside of the boundaries of your comfort zones. You both knew this was going to happen, but until you actually go through it you honestly don't understand what the reality will be like.

It is ok for the OP to be bored. Yes, he chose to fall in love with someone who lives in Nebraska and move half way around the world from a country where the annual average temperature ranges from a low of around 77 degrees F to a average high near 90 degrees F. He is allowed to say it is cold where he is in Nebraska where the current average low is 14 degrees Fahrenheit and in the two months since he came to the US - the whole time he has been here - has probably not even been above freezing. This is part of his new reality, sure, but that doesn't mean he has to embrace it whole-heartedly, that he has to either love everything about his new circumstances or something is wrong. He has been here 2 months and has barely started the long process of adjustment. Besides, Nebraska is cold- and windy - and flat - and I know enough native Americans living in Nebraska who find themselves bored during the winter, especially when they are house-bound!

So, the OP is allowed to complain, and he is allowed to be bored. Right now his circumstances are vastly different from his previous ones; he is far from his family, unable to work, and dependent on other people with very little that he has yet discovered he can do. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love his wife, or regrets his choice to come here or even that he is unhappy - although he is allowed to be unhappy as well if he is. He isn't complaining about being in the US - he is complaining about being bored and finding it very cold outside which makes it much more difficult for him to find something to do. This is his reality and he doesn't have to love every aspect of it. He loved his wife enough to leave everything he knew behind to come here, and he does deserve great credit for that.

By the same token, if you want to complain about your circumstances, go ahead - you are allowed to as well. Personal challenges are very much relative and his finding the challenges he faces in his new life here takes absolutely nothing away from the challenges you are finding in your new life in the Philippines.

It is ok to say to him, yeah, I understand what it is like to be placed in strange new circumstances. Give it time, things should improve and in the meantime, look around and see what you can find/discover/ learn about your new home.

Edited January 18, 2014 by Kathryn41

[Golden Gate 530]

"My wife and I live alone, we don't have any pets or kids too so it's very hard for me to deal with. She will help me to register in a gym this weekend. I believe everything will settle down with time. Once again thanks and God bless you all. I appreciate!..."

Is Kathryn the only one who noticed he is the husband, not the wife?

[Cam54 84]

You know, riogan,

You really are allowed to be supportive of someone else. Offering them empathy doesn't take anything away from you or your hardships. This isn't a competition - your challenges don't need to be used to negate his challenges because you don't find them a challenge. You are not him. His challenges don't make your challenges any less challenging or real for you either. Neither are 'better' or 'worse' than the other because each of you find yourselves in situations that are taking you outside of the boundaries of your comfort zones. You both knew this was going to happen, but until you actually go through it you honestly don't understand what the reality will be like.

It is ok for the OP to be bored. Yes, he chose to fall in love with someone who lives in Nebraska and move half way around the world from a country where the annual average temperature ranges from a low of around 77 degrees F to a average high near 90 degrees F. He is allowed to say it is cold where he is in Nebraska where the current average low is 14 degrees Fahrenheit and in the two months since he came to the US - the whole time he has been here - has probably not even been above freezing. This is part of his new reality, sure, but that doesn't mean he has to embrace it whole-heartedly, that he has to either love everything about his new circumstances or something is wrong. He has been here 2 months and has barely started the long process of adjustment. Besides, Nebraska is cold- and windy - and flat - and I know enough native Americans living in Nebraska who find themselves bored during the winter, especially when they are house-bound!

So, the OP is allowed to complain, and he is allowed to be bored. Right now his circumstances are vastly different from his previous ones; he is far from his family, unable to work, and dependent on other people with very little that he has yet discovered he can do. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love his wife, or regrets his choice to come here or even that he is unhappy - although he is allowed to be unhappy as well if he is. He isn't complaining about being in the US - he is complaining about being bored and finding it very cold outside which makes it much more difficult for him to find something to do. This is his reality and he doesn't have to love every aspect of it. He loved his wife enough to leave everything he knew behind to come here, and he does deserve great credit for that.

By the same token, if you want to complain about your circumstances, go ahead - you are allowed to as well. Personal challenges are very much relative and his finding the challenges he faces in his new life here takes absolutely nothing away from the challenges you are finding in your new life in the Philippines.

It is ok to say to him, yeah, I understand what it is like to be placed in strange new circumstances. Give it time, things should improve and in the meantime, look around and see what you can find/discover/ learn about your new home.

brilliant post! and put a bit more eloquently than mine lol.

Also I notced your cat photo in the signature! gorgeous cats, look a lot like my cat Simba who is travelling to be with his mummy all the way from England on January 30th!

[Tingbudong 12]

I am very worried about my fiancee being bored when she gets here to Western Michigan. You need a car and we will only have one for a while and in the winter its rough out there.

Im going onto meet up.com to try to find some fun groups for her to join and she wants to learn to dance so I found a studio of the right kind thats an easy walk from the house. She also likes talking on qq on the computer and we are trying to find other things that she can do (on a convenient bus route) when Im at work. I changed gyms from near my job to one close by home so she can go do that too. Hopefully by the time she gets here we will have a whole set of fun things she can get to easily and do to keep busy and make additional friends.

As for work, there are a couple schools nearby that have Chinese language programs so we are going to see if we can set her up to do some Chinese tutoring and she is also going to be doing some computer based work from home.

I just worry because I want her to be happy and feel fulfilled. I know dropping everything and coming halfway around the world to be with me is a huge sacrifice that she's making for us and Im trying to do everything I can to be sure she won't regret it… LOL theres not much I can do once next "lake effect" winter hits. Its a shocker for me too, coming here from Florida.. But the plan is to be sure she's already plugged into the social network by then and we can just suffer through it together. A lot of cuddling up under a pile of blankets to share body heat? Fortunately it looks like she will get here just in time for Spring/Summer so she can see the nice before the major bad part of life in MI comes back around again!