so boring

[Lainie B 465]

i have been in USA since 2months now and i came with a K1visa..i did the marriage within 90day and am filling for the adjustment of status..but oboy..its freaking boring to stay at home all day and sometimes it drives me crazy..i dont know if anyone is in the same situation like me..besides it too cold cos i live in Nebraska

Don't forget to apply for EAD and AP at the same time.

[marjolene 1]

wow!!! i feel like everyone as something to advise you!!!!

you should be motivated!

me after 7 months in my mother house waithing for my visa, i was just doing anything i could.

beside, i am a professional acrobat from cirque du soleil, i've been doing all king sort of jobs, construction, cleanning,veggies,teaching acrobatics...tv...on so on...

really I was not happy waiting but beleive me , once i touch the US ground, (and my boyfriend)

i am more than motivated!!!!!

you can send me personal mess if you want im gonna motivate you!!!!

hang it there!

[bananite 67]

Like people have said, volunteer! You don't need a work permit, plus it looks great on job applications when you finally can work! I use to volunteer when I was in California and unemployed and it really is nice to have something to do, and especially something that you can feel good about.

I used to volunteer at the Red Cross. They're very well organized, and there's a wide range of activities that you can choose to participate in and learn about (you can take first aid classes, learn how to organize people in a disaster, etc.). I got my ham radio license and joined the radio communications team.

There's also animal shelters (though everyone volunteers for these), food kitchens, old folk's homes, etc.

Edited January 17, 2014 by bananite

[TBoneTX 46,151]

Part of one post has been removed for badgering the OP. Acceptable part is returned here:

Your time will come to work, drive and lead a normal life, but you were probably maybe close to a year getting here, now you want everything to just, happen.,.,it is like the visa, it all takes time, please be patient, and try not to take it out on your husband..,,.., he is most likely a good man!

[rlogan 2,036]

I did a K-1 as well, and I fully understand what you mean. I'm originally from Canada and I would not appreciate having to experience Nebraska in winter! Coming from a country like Nigeria makes this even more of a challenge. While I can appreciate that having the 'right attitude' helps, sometimes it just isn't that simple, and trying to suggest that this is all it takes really minimalizes the OP's situation, which is a very real and valid challenge faced by many of us who come to the US on a K-1 visa. Not only are we changing everything we ever knew about our lives, we are also forced into a life of some degree of idleness that is beyond our control while we wait for certain paperwork to be processed. It can strike at the very core of our sense of 'who we are' and should not just be dismissed.

Marrying someone from Nebraska was 100% within her control. I don't see any difference between this and a Muslim marrying a Christian and all of us saying to expect "religious trauma" in marriage instead of counseling to marry people that are compatible. I say this in good cheer, because marriage at least for us has been wonderful because we have that compatibility despite the most drastic climate differences on earth between Philippines and Alaska.

OP is bored. I am a target for assassination, kidnapping and extortion. The MILF blew up the bridge by our house, our grocery store, assassinates Americanos, and most recently burned a lot of Zamboanga to the ground. The Maguindanao Massacre was not far from where we live. A thousand MILF fighters were assembled in Marawi City on the 23rd and we sat with an Army Captain reading intelligence reports on rebel troop movements on Christmas Eve.

I just paid extortion money to the local police because a Filipino driver ran into me, but since I am the foreigner they held me hostage at the police station until I agreed to pay him money. No citation because it was his fault, but what choice do I have when I am all alone, don't speak the language, and they are the ones with the guns? I am paying for security for my wife and kids.

I can go on, but you don't see me complaining about it. It is my choice to be here. I think that this forum should not just have the coddlers, but the people who say to buck up and deal with the decision you made too. I think I have a right to be one of those people, given what is going on here.

Edited January 17, 2014 by rlogan

[Laspoxaroumeni 68]

Hey sweetheart!! i know exactly how u feel cause when i was 3 months with my fiance i was on the same situation!

And i was there with tourist visa!

The first week was cool cause i was still jetlagged from the flight and the time difference. The second week i had to clean his messy place! AAAAAA MESSSSS... I even washed the walls hahahaha

But thennnnn... I was home all day! I cant drive in the states cause i have no licence. I watched all the seasons of greys anatomy one tree hill and many more series in 3 months, i did a lot of iron.... I slept a lot!!!

IS f BORINGGGGG!!

I came back to greece and im still boring! I dont live on my own i live with my mother. I have no a job. U know what i did?? Im going to the gym! And make an awesome body! Cause 3 months and 5 here i got 10 kilos!!

Get a driving licence so u can go where ever u want! Go to the gym and work out and get a dog! When u are bored u can go out with the dog and walk or play. U can train him!

Go to community college. Thats what im planning to do when i go back! I think for the classes u pay 80$ per 6 months or something! Im not sure! Check it! Start do changes on the house u live! Paint the walls change the cartains. Decorate it! U ll have to spent a lot of time to do that! Cook!! Learn how to cook more healthy food with fresh ingrediants!! "U can play the chef"!!! Ahahah

What else! Get the local bus and visit museums!!!

Dont let urself think that u are home bored all day and u re in a jail cause u ll get depressed for real and get sick!! Dont do that to urself cause then will be really hard for u to get back ur mood!!

Hope i helped a lil!!!

And the most important! Even if u have mothing to do .. At the end of the day ur husband will be back home and u can jump into his arms!!! I guess u had to wait a lot to be able to do that! Just think how hard u two guys worked for the visa and be together and u ll see how ur mood will change!

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Hey sweetheart!! i know exactly how u feel cause when i was 3 months with my fiance i was on the same situation!

And i was there with tourist visa!

The first week was cool cause i was still jetlagged from the flight and the time difference. The second week i had to clean his messy place! AAAAAA MESSSSS... I even washed the walls hahahaha

But thennnnn... I was home all day! I cant drive in the states cause i have no licence. I watched all the seasons of greys anatomy one tree hill and many more series in 3 months, i did a lot of iron.... I slept a lot!!!

IS f BORINGGGGG!!

I came back to greece and im still boring! I dont live on my own i live with my mother. I have no a job. U know what i did?? Im going to the gym! And make an awesome body! Cause 3 months and 5 here i got 10 kilos!!

Get a driving licence so u can go where ever u want! Go to the gym and work out and get a dog! When u are bored u can go out with the dog and walk or play. U can train him!

Go to community college. Thats what im planning to do when i go back! I think for the classes u pay 80$ per 6 months or something! Im not sure! Check it! Start do changes on the house u live! Paint the walls change the cartains. Decorate it! U ll have to spent a lot of time to do that! Cook!! Learn how to cook more healthy food with fresh ingrediants!! "U can play the chef"!!! Ahahah

What else! Get the local bus and visit museums!!!

Dont let urself think that u are home bored all day and u re in a jail cause u ll get depressed for real and get sick!! Dont do that to urself cause then will be really hard for u to get back ur mood!!

Hope i helped a lil!!!

And the most important! Even if u have mothing to do .. At the end of the day ur husband will be back home and u can jump into his arms!!! I guess u had to wait a lot to be able to do that! Just think how hard u two guys worked for the visa and be together and u ll see how ur mood will change!

My Wife started school the second week that she got here, takes the bus and train to her prenatal appointments, etc

Sometimes you just gotta create your own unboring situation.

[Laspoxaroumeni 68]

My Wife started school the second week that she got here, takes the bus and train to her prenatal appointments, etc

Sometimes you just gotta create your own unboring situation.

So right! And comgrats to ur wifey!! we must try a lil harder to make things work!!

[Misha'sgirl 44]

i have been in USA since 2months now and i came with a K1visa..i did the marriage within 90day and am filling for the adjustment of status..but oboy..its freaking boring to stay at home all day and sometimes it drives me crazy..i dont know if anyone is in the same situation like me..besides it too cold cos i live in Nebraska

Congrats on getting into the US! I don't know your situation... It seems you're not excited to be there, which is a weird idea for me and my fiance. He is super excited and cannot wait! I'm sure if even we were going to Nebraska, where it is so cold and boring, we would still be very excited: it's such a great feat to achieve what you have achieved. I have a suggestion. If you're so bored, why don't you practice writing English correctly? I hope you find something useful and funt o occupy your time. Good luck!

[Jessicacallum 14]

I worked with my fiancées dad building things as he makes furniture, sheds and that and I'm an electrician so I was re wiring his house with doing car electrics fitting things such as music systems and that, but now I'm back in England sorting this visa out and when I get back I'll be doing all that again to pass the time till I can work and earn actual money as obviously I didn't get paid for all that it was to pass the 90 days visiting, as my fiancée had work. Keep busy don't be lazy pretty much you must have a skill

[dodgyJim73 6]

I'm about to move to San Diego and I think http://www.meetup.com should give me enough activities to do while waiting for the AOS. You should try it, there's groups for everything you could think of!

Another poster mentioned volunteering at the Red Cross. I might do that too.

[lonelywithouthim1 36]

I agree with cdneh - it is kind of pointless to discuss K-1 vs CR-1 when she is already here on a K-1!

I did a K-1 as well, and I fully understand what you mean. I'm originally from Canada and I would not appreciate having to experience Nebraska in winter! Coming from a country like Nigeria makes this even more of a challenge. While I can appreciate that having the 'right attitude' helps, sometimes it just isn't that simple, and trying to suggest that this is all it takes really minimalizes the OP's situation, which is a very real and valid challenge faced by many of us who come to the US on a K-1 visa. Not only are we changing everything we ever knew about our lives, we are also forced into a life of some degree of idleness that is beyond our control while we wait for certain paperwork to be processed. It can strike at the very core of our sense of 'who we are' and should not just be dismissed.

I was very fortunate when I arrived here in having access to a car and being able to get around. That made such a big difference! I used to go 'exploring' - although I am not sure I would want to explore Nebraska in the winter either ! what it did do, though, is help to give me a feeling of spatial presence - I could orient myself to my surroundings, and that made a big difference in adjusting to my new home and my new country. I began to find my place in things and to develop a new sense of connection. Each time I successfully made it back home without using the map provided me with a sense of accomplishment! After all, one can only do so much cooking and cleaning and re-decorating! (The less of the cleaning the better, for me - never did like housework :-) ).

I did investigate volunteer activities and eventually became involved with a local history site. You might find that there are volunteer activities in areas in which you are interested as well. Even just investigating them might give you something more to do and feel like you are doing something.

I also picked up a new hobby that I could do at home - bird watching. We had bird feeders in our back yard and I found myself spending a lot of time watching the birds, then taking over care of the feeders and keeping them full. I was able to get some bird identification guides and a pair of binoculars and developed my bird watching and identification skills. I started making my life list of all of the different birds I have identified and it has grown quite long.

Each February - this year from the 14 to the 17th - is the International Great Backyard Bird Count where you literally assist research organizations by counting the birds who come to visit feeders in your own back yard in blocks of 15 minutes over the 4 days (you choose how little or how much) and reporting the types and numbers.I participated my first year here and have done it every year since except for one.

While I don't know if this is something that you might be interested in doing - I certainly had no expectation this would prove so interesting or enjoyable when I arrived here - it is something you can do at home and around your neighbourhood. It also helps you learn a little bit more about your new home and community as well. Here is a link for those who might be interested: http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc .

Anyway, please know that you are not alone and many of us understand and sympathize with what you are going through. I can promise you that it does get better and that the first few months - in fact, the whole first year- are very hard because of all of the changes and challenges you face, ones you didn't expect as well as the ones you did. Hopefully your husband is understanding enough that he is willing to take you out of the house when he is not working and help you explore your new home. About the cold . . . well, layers and layers and layers and dress warmly. The first year is the hardest for that as well.

Good luck!

(PS oh and yes, we did look at the CR-1 and for many reasons the K-1 was a better choice for us. There were a lot of 'practical issues' in the waiting and processing that just didn't make the CR-1 a very attractive choice. Nor do I have no regrets for the option we chose. There are ramifications for both options that need to be considered beyond whether one can work right away or not).

Agree 100 %....My husband is not here yet but we talk about what he should expect when he arrive and what we need to do to make it easier for him. OP, stay strong ...this will also pass. Good Luck to you.

[Dusty345 3]

Thanks everyone for your advise and support. It means a lot to me. I will start looking for where I can volunteer to work at least I can go out from the house and meet new people and make friends too. Staying in the house all alone makes me feel like am in the jail. My wife and I live alone, we don't have any pets or kids too so it's very hard for me to deal with. She will help me to register in a gym this weekend. I believe everything will settle down with time. Once again thanks and God bless you all. I appreciate!

[nigerwife 17]

Okenz--may I ask where in Nebraska you are? You can message me if you don't want to share to the general public.

We live in Nebraska too, so maybe we can connect. We have a small group of Nigerian friends where we live and there are African stores in Lincoln (Lagos Market) and Omaha (African Farms) that are both a good connecting points to what is going on in the African community in Nebraska-- yes, there is a pretty significant Nigerian and African community in Nebraska! There is a public Nigerian community group that meets regularly between Lincoln and Omaha as well. We aren't personally involved in this, but they post events like the Nigerian Independence Day celebration at the stores is mentioned above.

If you and your wife are open to attending church, that is another way to get involved in your local community and meet people. The larger the church the more likelihood of clicking with some other couples like you.

[Cathi 5,784]

Marrying someone from Nebraska was 100% within her control. I don't see any difference between this and a Muslim marrying a Christian and all of us saying to expect "religious trauma" in marriage instead of counseling to marry people that are compatible. I say this in good cheer, because marriage at least for us has been wonderful because we have that compatibility despite the most drastic climate differences on earth between Philippines and Alaska.

OP is bored. I am a target for assassination, kidnapping and extortion. The MILF blew up the bridge by our house, our grocery store, assassinates Americanos, and most recently burned a lot of Zamboanga to the ground. The Maguindanao Massacre was not far from where we live. A thousand MILF fighters were assembled in Marawi City on the 23rd and we sat with an Army Captain reading intelligence reports on rebel troop movements on Christmas Eve.

I just paid extortion money to the local police because a Filipino driver ran into me, but since I am the foreigner they held me hostage at the police station until I agreed to pay him money. No citation because it was his fault, but what choice do I have when I am all alone, don't speak the language, and they are the ones with the guns? I am paying for security for my wife and kids.

I can go on, but you don't see me complaining about it. It is my choice to be here. I think that this forum should not just have the coddlers, but the people who say to buck up and deal with the decision you made too. I think I have a right to be one of those people, given what is going on here.

I'm not sure what you mean by religious trauma between Christians and Muslims marrying. I'm catholic, my husband Muslim, there was never any " trauma" involved in our difference of religions. I respect his, he respects mine. We didn't need counseling, we are adults and we haven't had issues regarding religion.