so boring

[Dusty345 3]

i have been in USA since 2months now and i came with a K1visa..i did the marriage within 90day and am filling for the adjustment of status..but oboy..its freaking boring to stay at home all day and sometimes it drives me crazy..i dont know if anyone is in the same situation like me..besides it too cold cos i live in Nebraska

[li_09 40]

I know how you feel. When I was living in America I fought with my husband almost every day because I thought I hated America but turns out I was just BORED and LONELY. It didn't help that I had overstayed my visa so I couldn't work there (hence why I'm back home doing everything the right way).

Have you tried looking for a job? Maybe you could go to school and do some classes? Join a gym or a yoga class etc? There are plenty of ways to meet new people. As soon as you get some friends it won't be as bad.

That's all the thing I have lined up to do once I get back so that I could meet new people, and that I'm not taking out my frustration on my husband anymore lol

[Ontarkie 14,498]

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New Life In America, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures~~

[Harmon-y 32]

If you do not have too much money but want to try new things, I suggest going to "Groupon.com" They have deals on local things to do - especially exercise classes and activities.

[Dusty345 3]

thanks for the advice. I am still waiting for my working permit but I thinking joining the Gym will be a good idea.!

[Ilovemyman 147]

Do social works it is a good way to deal with boring.

Therevare a lot of place where you can go and do voluntary works, that help you and at the same time help the comunity.

[Ilovemyman 147]

When I arrive to usa , firts think I am going to clean very well the house, my fiance live alone long time, so the house need a woman touch.

After that while I be waiting for Aos, I will work in some voluntary job , such as help children, or senior citizen in a nurse home for old people.

Or help the evironement etc, there are a lot of way to help and help yourself.

[Cathi 5,784]

I know how you feel. When I was living in America I fought with my husband almost every day because I thought I hated America but turns out I was just BORED and LONELY. It didn't help that I had overstayed my visa so I couldn't work there (hence why I'm back home doing everything the right way).

Have you tried looking for a job? Maybe you could go to school and do some classes? Join a gym or a yoga class etc? There are plenty of ways to meet new people. As soon as you get some friends it won't be as bad.

That's all the thing I have lined up to do once I get back so that I could meet new people, and that I'm not taking out my frustration on my husband anymore lol

The OP cannot work yet

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

i have been in USA since 2months now and i came with a K1visa..i did the marriage within 90day and am filling for the adjustment of status..but oboy..its freaking boring to stay at home all day and sometimes it drives me crazy..i dont know if anyone is in the same situation like me..besides it too cold cos i live in Nebraska

Were you able to compare the benefits between K1 and Cr1 visas before you started your petition?

One of the issues that I've been reading on here between K1 couples is the inability to work right away and to not feel like a burden on their Husbands.

With a CR1 you would have been employable as soon as you entered the US.

[rlogan 2,036]

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is extreme in Alaska where we live and I had to push my wife to go outside each day at temperatures colder than fifty below zero. It was always the same conversation, that she needed to trust me and she would feel a lot better after going outside. She would protest, but then do it, and then be laughing cheerfully after coming back inside.

I have been in the Philippines for two months and my reaction to hearing this sort of thing is to wonder why people can't figure out what to do with themselves, and plan ahead before they get here. I could sit around and say I hate the heat and that people speak different languages, etc. and put the burden on other people to entertain me, but I don't. Yet, I had to push my wife to go out in the cold despite being right about it every day, week after week and month after month. If I had not done that, I would be having the same kind of discussion a lot of people do here about how difficult life was for a newly married cross-cultural marriage. But instead, life was great.

It has nothing to do with it being cold outside. You can be toasty warm and even sweating in sub-zero temperatures if you are wearing the right clothes. It is 100% an attitude problem. Namely that a person does not want to wear the right clothes. I want to walk on the moon, but I don't want to wear the space suit. I want to swim under water but I don't want to use scuba gear. I want to be on top of Mt. Everest but I don't want to use oxygen. Etc.

[DRbound 38]

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is extreme in Alaska where we live and I had to push my wife to go outside each day at temperatures colder than fifty below zero. It was always the same conversation, that she needed to trust me and she would feel a lot better after going outside. She would protest, but then do it, and then be laughing cheerfully after coming back inside.

I have been in the Philippines for two months and my reaction to hearing this sort of thing is to wonder why people can't figure out what to do with themselves, and plan ahead before they get here. I could sit around and say I hate the heat and that people speak different languages, etc. and put the burden on other people to entertain me, but I don't. Yet, I had to push my wife to go out in the cold despite being right about it every day, week after week and month after month. If I had not done that, I would be having the same kind of discussion a lot of people do here about how difficult life was for a newly married cross-cultural marriage. But instead, life was great.

It has nothing to do with it being cold outside. You can be toasty warm and even sweating in sub-zero temperatures if you are wearing the right clothes. It is 100% an attitude problem. Namely that a person does not want to wear the right clothes. I want to walk on the moon, but I don't want to wear the space suit. I want to swim under water but I don't want to use scuba gear. I want to be on top of Mt. Everest but I don't want to use oxygen. Etc.

Right on. It is ALL about the attitude. You can escape discomfort from heat with A/C, and you can escape being cold by wearing enough layers.

I am contemplating moving back to my home state of Maine from NC but my fiancee is Dominican and used to the tropical weather obviously. Therefore, the weather is certainly a concern but i think we will see how it goes wherever i am living when she gets here.

[cdneh 3,112]

Were you able to compare the benefits between K1 and Cr1 visas before you started your petition?

One of the issues that I've been reading on here between K1 couples is the inability to work right away and to not feel like a burden on their Husbands.

With a CR1 you would have been employable as soon as you entered the US.

That's a bit of a pointless question really. Already here, and on a K1. The OP said nothing about feeling like a burden that I saw..

[Nawlinshoney 7]

Welcome to the United States ( : Well I can understand how boring it can be to stay at home. I have had 2 kids and had to stay home and you get kinda crazy. After some time you can get a job then start working so this can fill your day. Go online and look for some clubs or things you can join in the meantime. Or maybe you can volunteer somewhere.... I don't know if there is a hospitial somewhere you can volunteer or do some charity work to help others.May have to check and see if you can do this don't really see why not.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

That's a bit of a pointless question really. Already here, and on a K1. The OP said nothing about feeling like a burden that I saw..

Your opinion. I'll wait for the OP who incidentally is whom my question was directed to.

PS: I never said that OP said she was burdened but I understand why you had to enrichen your post.

Edited January 17, 2014 by Gowon

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I agree with cdneh - it is kind of pointless to discuss K-1 vs CR-1 when she is already here on a K-1!

I did a K-1 as well, and I fully understand what you mean. I'm originally from Canada and I would not appreciate having to experience Nebraska in winter! Coming from a country like Nigeria makes this even more of a challenge. While I can appreciate that having the 'right attitude' helps, sometimes it just isn't that simple, and trying to suggest that this is all it takes really minimalizes the OP's situation, which is a very real and valid challenge faced by many of us who come to the US on a K-1 visa. Not only are we changing everything we ever knew about our lives, we are also forced into a life of some degree of idleness that is beyond our control while we wait for certain paperwork to be processed. It can strike at the very core of our sense of 'who we are' and should not just be dismissed.

I was very fortunate when I arrived here in having access to a car and being able to get around. That made such a big difference! I used to go 'exploring' - although I am not sure I would want to explore Nebraska in the winter either ! what it did do, though, is help to give me a feeling of spatial presence - I could orient myself to my surroundings, and that made a big difference in adjusting to my new home and my new country. I began to find my place in things and to develop a new sense of connection. Each time I successfully made it back home without using the map provided me with a sense of accomplishment! After all, one can only do so much cooking and cleaning and re-decorating! (The less of the cleaning the better, for me - never did like housework :-) ).

I did investigate volunteer activities and eventually became involved with a local history site. You might find that there are volunteer activities in areas in which you are interested as well. Even just investigating them might give you something more to do and feel like you are doing something.

I also picked up a new hobby that I could do at home - bird watching. We had bird feeders in our back yard and I found myself spending a lot of time watching the birds, then taking over care of the feeders and keeping them full. I was able to get some bird identification guides and a pair of binoculars and developed my bird watching and identification skills. I started making my life list of all of the different birds I have identified and it has grown quite long.

Each February - this year from the 14 to the 17th - is the International Great Backyard Bird Count where you literally assist research organizations by counting the birds who come to visit feeders in your own back yard in blocks of 15 minutes over the 4 days (you choose how little or how much) and reporting the types and numbers.I participated my first year here and have done it every year since except for one.

While I don't know if this is something that you might be interested in doing - I certainly had no expectation this would prove so interesting or enjoyable when I arrived here - it is something you can do at home and around your neighbourhood. It also helps you learn a little bit more about your new home and community as well. Here is a link for those who might be interested: http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc .

Anyway, please know that you are not alone and many of us understand and sympathize with what you are going through. I can promise you that it does get better and that the first few months - in fact, the whole first year- are very hard because of all of the changes and challenges you face, ones you didn't expect as well as the ones you did. Hopefully your husband is understanding enough that he is willing to take you out of the house when he is not working and help you explore your new home. About the cold . . . well, layers and layers and layers and dress warmly. The first year is the hardest for that as well.

Good luck!

(PS oh and yes, we did look at the CR-1 and for many reasons the K-1 was a better choice for us. There were a lot of 'practical issues' in the waiting and processing that just didn't make the CR-1 a very attractive choice. Nor do I have no regrets for the option we chose. There are ramifications for both options that need to be considered beyond whether one can work right away or not).

Edited January 17, 2014 by Kathryn41