I'm losing my mind..help

[BB&D 0]

Hey guys...

This is not a usual topic here, and i know there are other websites, but i just wanted to post it here, where all of us are in the same boat, we all are couples that live apart, and we all know how hard and frustrating it can be.

And i'm just wondering, beside i know it's normal to have fights, but still, do you sometimes feel like the time and distance are kiling you, do any of you sometimes had that feeling like your partner doesn't love you anymore, even if she/he is calling you every day?

We have 'good days' too, but sometimes i have that feeling like we are losing each other.

I don't know what to think anymore, what's happening when you can't forget the hard words, or you feel like you are the only one who is doing everything, after every fight you are always the one who is saying sorry no matter if it was your fault or not, and the same person is always the first one who is calling,while the other one is always but always blaming you for everything? Why would your partner blame everything on you, and the answer to everything is do whatever you want and think whatever you want?

Does it mean only the one of us is in love? Is that a sign of something or what? How i should understand this change?

I become frustrated, and i don't know what should i do anymore. Our case is at NVC, but i'm not sure how this will end up..

Please if some of you have been through similar situation, please share some opinion

And again, sorry for posting this here, i believe there are nice and honest people on this forum,and we always help each other.

Thanks!

[rocketman 6]

been there done that. It's very easy to start a fight with long distance and easy to end too. Don't worry too much. We all go thru this.

[Jon York 156]

I used to stay in relationships like that. But they never worked out in the end. Later, when I got into relationships like that I just ended them on the spot. Now, I'm very happy to say that I've found someone who isn't like that. She is so so sweet, never gets mad about anything. We never blame each other for anything. We both know this is going to take a long time and we're both very patient. In the almost year and a half we've known each other we've never once even come close to what would be considered a fight. It doesn't mean that we never will. But, I can take one fight every two years or so. But definitely not one every day, or even one every week.

In your case, it doesn't necessarily mean that one of you is not in love. But some people have a very selfish love. And even if they do get upset, they never consider what their angry words will do to the other person. They're not considerate. They're selfish and narcissistic. They only think about themselves. And the only thing that's important to them is letting the other person know exactly how they feel every minute of the day. But in a relationship you have to consider the impact your words will have on the other person. If you're angry about something, you first have to ask yourself if you're in the right to be angry. Maybe the other person didn't really do anything wrong - but you just feel angry anyway. In that case, you have to be able to tell yourself - don't yell at them - it's not their fault. But some people can't do that. They just yell, scream and ultimately destroy the relationship. They never have the good of the relationship in mind when they start screaming. It's very difficult to have a long-term relationship with someone like that.

Edited January 16, 2014 by Jon York

[NewDawn 4]

Hi,

I know what you mean

I havee been away from my husband for the past 3 years and it seems like it has created a barrier between us.. the time and the gap that we should have had for bonding after getting married, was spent counting days to hearing soemthing about the visa. My case is at the NVC now. I miss him a lot but the phone calls and messages are limited.

Tell me about losing your mind... I know exactly what it means..

[BethAnn and Omar 42]

Long distance relationships are extremely trying on both parties. There is no way around it. My husband and I fought a lot and now looking back at it I really blame the distance and frustration of not being together. I used to get so mad at him because he wouldn't talk a lot on the phone and this really bothered me. There was also some trust issues there which have more or less dissappeared now that we are living together. Sometimes I thought he did not love me either but I know now that that is not the case. You will be fine just hang in there. Try to cut him/her some slack. I felt like you did like we weren't going to make it but we have (so far so good). Feel free to PM me any time if you need to talk.

[luisrx11 10]

I sometimes feel the same way and wonder myself about all this situation. But then I look at it as a test that we are going through that we have to overcome together as a couple. We also fight sometimes, but understand is the situation and stress of being apart. Don't mind the fights, I am sure is the so long process we are in, calm always comes after a storm.

[slowlyman 118]

There is a lot of insecurity on both sides. plenty of fodder for a fight. It's very normal. Hang in there.

[BB&D 0]

Thank you SOOOOOO much to all of you!!!! Oh God, before i started this topic i wasnt sure what will be the reaction, after all, this group is not for this kind of problems, but now i'm happy i did this, because i found out i'm not alone here, and you really gave me courage and hope!

I want to believe this is just a bad phase

Thank you guys, God bless you all!!!

[successfulG 0]

my dear,its natural. bug b patient all will be wen,frustrating a times,buh hope should b ur strength. hugs darl, @Jon York....Br pls watch it.