I had enough with the petitioner, i want to cancel the petition (merged)

[Zedayn 485]

Ok if you are having problems in your relationship and fighting over doing simple paperwork, how do you think the rest of your relationship will be after you come here? The paperwork for this part of the process is rather easy in my opinion, and if your fiance is having difficulties or "hates" to do it, then you will have a huge uphill battle with other steps of the process. Honestly, he should be eager and willing to help you in this process, no matter how difficult it is! You really need to have a long hard talk with your fiance.

[doug/sherry 26]

If this was me I would just go online and canc the interview, tell him that when he

sends you the paperwork required at the embassy you will re sched. If he really

loves you and wants you to be his wife he will comply. The required documention

isn't an option its mandatory for the process of approving a Fiance Visa application.

I would not send an email to the embassy for only one reason, if he does send

the paperwork and you do go to the interview, the email will be part of the record

and could be a reason for denial.

Good Luck!

[LUAL 43]

Yes you should definitely cancel the petition. Sorry for that.

[Ilovemyman 147]

You seriously need to stop giving advice, over and over you give wrong advice in this forum. There is a 100% chance they will ask for the documentation.

If you read very well there are post before mine that say that she can go without the tax return and that they are going to put her in 221 until she submit the papers.

The post number 11, says that in the consulate they dont see her in come tax. The post says that the fiance had all in come but they didnt ask for them.

You havent red the others post before mine.

You say that all my advise are wrong, well DONT read my post then

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

we have been together for almost 1 year six months..... Ive been to us for a year when i met him and he visited me twice here..... I gave up everything for him, i didn't work my profession just to spend time and talk to him everyday cause of our time difference..... I told him to cancel it, but he wouldn't..... He told me he will work for it but I had enough of him.

question:

is tax return really that important? or pay list for the year that states how much he earn will suffice?

One should never ever do that. Even the embassy recommends one not to quit jobs, sell properties,etc until visa in hand.

Just don't go to the interview. Sending the Embassy an email would also be wise.

Many folks seem to think just because a person hates paperwork then that is an acceptable behavior for the petitioner.....it is not.

Paperwork is a whole part of the entire visa process and the petitioner should be the one who puts their selfish feelings aside and performs their part in the process....to burden the beneficiary with this is unacceptable, IMO.

Yes give the petitioner an ultimatum....but people don't change. It's your decision; many prospective fiances want a man (or woman) who is organized....meaning good with peperwork and dealing with rules and regulations. Sounds like this person doesn't fit your criteria for that.

Don't let "love" get in the way of planning for a future together which goes above and beyond your "love" for each other. Living life and everytihing that comes with it is best handled together; it is foolish to think you can "will" your relationship to be one.

It is unacceptable for both.

This process is basically paperwork, or getting documents to fill out more paperwork and waiting.

Personally I think this relationship needs more work in the relationship corner more than immigration paperwork. Perhaps a reset and time out while priorities are reexamined.

Ok if you are having problems in your relationship and fighting over doing simple paperwork, how do you think the rest of your relationship will be after you come here? The paperwork for this part of the process is rather easy in my opinion, and if your fiance is having difficulties or "hates" to do it, then you will have a huge uphill battle with other steps of the process. Honestly, he should be eager and willing to help you in this process, no matter how difficult it is! You really need to have a long hard talk with your fiance.

The immigration process sis easy and will pale compared to the real work of holding a relationship that is now in front of you and not just on Skype

[David & Diana R 1,005]

hi everyone! Can someone help me here....

My boyfriend only have his 2012 w2 and tax return but its only 6 thousand so we cant use it because its below poverty level.... But last 2013 he made almost 20+++ but we don't have his 2013 tax return yet.... We only have his Pay Lists that states how much did he earn on his regular job for 2013 and firecheck list since its his 2nd job.....

2nd, his dad is our co sponsor but he provide us us his affidavit of support, how much he had at the bank and 2012 tax return..... no employment letter or w2 or paystubs......

What should I do? Is this okay now or not really? please help!

Sounds like you picked a real winner. If I were you I would move on.

[Sandra G. 5,043]

You said don;t work just to spend time and talk to him everyday cause of your time difference! Sorry, you have a dysfunctional relationship.

Edited January 10, 2014 by sandranj

[CowBoE 429]

Most couples that are going through the petition are so eager to be thorough

to reduce any chance of slightest delays.

And if a couple can't even get their act together or be supportive of each other

to get through the petition filing, its a big red flag for the future marriage.

I would agree with you that it is probably best to call off the marriage and petition.

Just be aware that if you cancel the petition, the entire process has to start all

over again, and they will challenge you on why you cancel it the first time.

Good luck.

[Hank_ 9,174]

hi everyone! Can someone help me here....

My boyfriend only have his 2012 w2 and tax return but its only 6 thousand so we cant use it because its below poverty level.... But last 2013 he made almost 20+++ but we don't have his 2013 tax return yet.... We only have his Pay Lists that states how much did he earn on his regular job for 2013 and firecheck list since its his 2nd job.....

2nd, his dad is our co sponsor but he provide us us his affidavit of support, how much he had at the bank and 2012 tax return..... no employment letter or w2 or paystubs......

What should I do? Is this okay now or not really? please help!

im going to have my interview nextweek. Im thinking of canceling our petition coz the petitioner dont even give effort with our papers.... im so sad right now but i think thats the best I can do. im so stress out for months asking him for the papers but he dont listen to me..... i had enough with him....

we have been together for almost 1 year six months..... Ive been to us for a year when i met him and he visited me twice here..... I gave up everything for him, i didn't work my profession just to spend time and talk to him everyday cause of our time difference..... I told him to cancel it, but he wouldn't..... He told me he will work for it but I had enough of him.

question:

is tax return really that important? or pay list for the year that states how much he earn will suffice?

he dont have tax return but he have a proof that he is making more than enough.....

Its a check history report. It shows that he made 20000+ $ on his regular job and 9000+ on his second job..... its shows his gross wages, federal tax, med tax, deductions, benefits and net wages.....

If you are not ready to cancel everything and give up, I would suggest you reschedule your interview for something in February (if you can), then your fiance will have his W-2 from his current employers (by the end of January at the latest) and he can file his tax return for 2013, then he can send you a copy of it along with his W-2. Then you will be good to go and will not need a co-sponsor.

This can be an extremely stressful time...

[DREAMER 64 1]

My wonderful fiance also hates paper work and there is no reason we shouldn't be finished except he gripes about having to fill out all the paper work. We had to get a Certificate of Good Conduct from the Netherlands because he lived there for more than a 1 year. After pushing and pushing from September when we got the NOA3 til November he finally sent off the request to the Netherlands, COVOG government branch. We didn't get anything back from the COVOG in the Netherlands so I asked him to call them, he never did until I went to visit him for New Years and they the COVOG said "Oh yes we are mailing it out today you should receive it in 2 weeks".When I am with him he gripes about how long the process is taking so I tell him get the paper work done,ha ha, and we are both ready for him to come home to Dallas.

My point is some guys just hate doing paper work and I believe are worried that if they put all this effort in to the process and it doesn't work that all is lost and they will feel helpless and devastated.

Just reassure your man and keep nudging him and as one previous poster stated this is a Visa journey for him also and he may be showing you his fear in other ways like avoidance.

My husband HATES paperwork. I also don't like paperwork and during the whole duration of our K1 I would ask a lot from him such as the I134 and even just that he HATED it. He would whine about how stupid it is that we had to prove our relationship and why at times I would ask him to write stuff or compile things. I hate it when he gets annoyed for the simple stuff but I had to lengthen my patience and do things and I told him what to do next in the nicest manner I could and gave positive reinforcements every time he finishes something for the petition. I think he has carefully understood the need for paperwork and how meticulous it can get because he did not make as much of a fuss as before when we filed AOS. Of course I did most of the stuff but I explained to him the importance of each document each time I would ask for him to produce it and answer his questions as much as I can.

True enough that you are asking for all the things and are compiling and organizing but don't forget that he is going through the immigration journey also. I don't know how he sees it and you should ask him how he sees things not only now but in the future after the K1 process. He may be the same lazy person when it comes to filing or an unorganized guy after you are married. Would you be able to live with that? Are you going to think of divorce because he gets annoyed of having to wait for you to shop? Those are overly exaggerated questions but really something like compiling things is a mere bump on the road of being married. You are yet to go through the different terrains.

Re-evaluate your feelings for each other especially yours as what others have said. In a third party's view (my view for example), it is a sign of unpreparedness and somewhat immaturity because you are quitting because of frustration and to think you have gotten so lucky with the speed of the petitions. It does not create a good image for you just because you are the one who wants to cancel the petition and not the other way around. This is how the things are appearing to me and that's just me but with that just consider how would a consular (who's prolly a counselor or psychologist) see it. I say that because sometimes even if we don't want to say these things, they just have their ways of getting to it.

TALK, TALK, TALK. You will argue at times because that's hard to avoid. Think whether it still is healthy for the relationship because the frequency and intensity of arguments can affect your life dearly. These are just standard procedures for immigration and not even the meat and potatoes of your life "together"

[merkin&regine 18]

If you are not ready to cancel everything and give up, I would suggest you reschedule your interview for something in February (if you can), then your fiance will have his W-2 from his current employers (by the end of January at the latest) and he can file his tax return for 2013, then he can send you a copy of it along with his W-2. Then you will be good to go and will not need a co-sponsor.

This can be an extremely stressful time...

Agree! The best advice! OP! GO for this! This will work 100% unless your fiancé won't file his taxes early nor send it to you..

Co-sponsors are rarely accepted in the Philippines (Manila US Embassy) anyway.

Edited January 10, 2014 by merkin78

[Gwapo1ako 14]

hi everyone! I just want to ask some help about our status.... Im sorry i don't have a timeline but I'm going to have my interview nextweek.... the problem is we lack w2 and tax returns from petitioner and cosponsor. He lost our noa2. no paystubs sent to me..... lack of employment letter. we only have a list on how much he earned last 2013 from both of his job..... It's been months and I'm reminding him everyday about the papers but until now he haven't completed it yet.... we will just end up fighting at the end of the day.... He is really hard headed, he don't listen on what we need. he is lazy to complete the papers.... Im so frustrated right now and sad, but I think canceling the petition will be the best way so i can be stress free..... Cause i know if he is really willing to marry me, he will do everything but it seems that he is tired processing the papers.... What should i do?

Um... do you really want to be with someone that you think really hasn't put in any effort in the visa process?

Seriously, when my fiance and I were thinking about putting in a K-1, she definitely did her part with completing the forms and letters, and other evidence she had such as airline boarding passes and pictures and mailing them to me.

As for my end, I filled out the papers, made copies of everything, and binded everything together.

We are still waiting for our NOA2 (C'mon Texas Service Center!!!) but I had already completed our affidavit of support and even requested and got copies of my last three years of tax returns from the IRS.

I dunno the whole story with your fiance, BUT it seems as if he needs to step up to the plate.

Otherwise, you got a lot of thinking to do, if you haven't already

[Jawaree 717]

Some ppl are not very good with gathering paper-work,

but it seem U don't love him & is fed up...the process

can do that but both have to have an overwhelming desire

to go through the motions to be marry and be with each other.

Seem he;s stalling & just offers lip service, you seem to be

fed up and not really in love. I would let it go

[Jon York 156]

Well, 2013 is over. So he can get his 2013 tax return done any time now. He doesn't have to wait until April 15th.

I feel really badly for you - I can understand what emotional trauma you must be going through over this. But it really is a good time to re-think whether you really want to be in a relationship with him. I know everyone's different and maybe it's just his way of saying he loves you! But somehow I doubt it. It sounds more like extreme selfishness to me.

I DESPISE doing paperwork too. But when it came to doing this paperwork for my (beneficiary) fiance - it was an absolute pleasure. I enjoyed every single moment of it. Because every piece of the work I completed meant she was that much closer to being here and our being together. Despite my lifelong hatred of this kind of paperwork, this paperwork didn't bother me in the least. And, we never once had an argument over it. Why would we argue? We both want exactly the same thing and we're both working to make it happen.

Yet if I have to do paperwork for myself I'll put it off for months and months. But for her, I couldn't finish it quickly enough. And it was a complete pleasure and joy for me to do it.

And I never would have dreamed of asking her to tell me what to do!! I'm petitioning for her - not the other way around. I live in the United States, I speak (nearly) perfect English. Why in the world would I expect her to figure it all out and tell me what to do? I want her to be here with me every bit as much as she does. So I was as motivated to work on it as she would have been had she been the one doing it.

I would just say to you - there are much better men out there. You've seen a few here in this conversation. There are men who really care and take their responsibilities seriously. There are men who when they really love a woman, wouldn't hesitate to do things like this for her - whether they normally hate those things or not.

And to the person who said he's tired from working two jobs and it's a big hassle going to federal offices to get the forms - I don't know what you're talking about. You don't have to go to any offices to get forms. You can download everything you need from the internet.

[yraheem 9]

I have one comment for you to think aobut;

marriage doesn't change much in a relationship (although some people may disagree with me), whatever problems you have prior to marriage, you're going to have the same problems after marriage. I don't understand why you are the one who is pouring all the energy into the process for if he has to prove his income, then that means he's the petitioner and you are the petitionee. If this is the case then his inability to handle the business of doing what is necessary to facilitate the process is a red flag that you might not want to ignore. One of the attributes of love is ‘action’ which is executed in the speed of ‘above and beyond’. If you were my daughter (because you sound young), based on his lack of interest, I would say to you “Baby Girl, Really?????”

In terms of his tax returns, he can get copies of them from the last place he filed his taxes or by requesting a copy of them from the IRS (provided he's in America). however, I would be consered with his income (if he lives in America). Considering that "Finances" is the #1 cause of divorce in America, you should also be concerned.

Edited January 10, 2014 by yraheem