Has my marriage been ruined by PMS (or rather by my inability to deal with it?)

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

All the dramatics? Dude U know the real story & U R on the hook

financially, ppl fall out of love, maybe its a new man, maybe the

sexual attraction is gone wake up...save yourself, get counseling

together....me I'd say like Ceilo "forget U"

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

Again, thank you all for your input. The following is my summation:

I didn't know sis's name but did know her phone number.

With that phone number, all for free, via the internet, I was pretty amazed at what I found and how little time it took to find it. I found:

>Sis's name. Actually the phone was associated with a made-up name. It was her last name first, and then part of her first name as the last name (so reversed and modified).

>I found, for free, that the phone operated within a 1.83 square mile area in Phoenix, AZ along with latitude/longitude.

> From the incorrect name and the location I searched using the first and the last tame along with variants, searching for property sales and I found multiple property sale(s), and property purchase in Sis's and her husband's name. So now I know exactly where Sis lives. I know exactly what Sis's full name is. Their current house is a very nice place, with a very nice SUV. Nicer than my place. And just tracing two buy/sells someone here should be a real estate broker. We're talking an increase in value due to these sales that ranges from $20,000 to $40,000 depending on how you look at it since, of course the last purchase has not been sold. (The $40,000 gain would be if sold at Zillow.com's "fair estimated price for that neighborhood." Maybe my big mistake was that I married the wrong sister. Forty grand by flipping houses in a year is not chump change.

> From that I found Sis's real and full name, plus her husband's name.

> From her husband's name I found him on Linkedin. Now I don't like social media but I feel that linkedin is important when working in a field where networking is important so I have a Linkedin account. Btw, although second hand information, since Juliet told me this--Sis's husband is here undocumented also.

> I purchased a free month premium account so I could email Sis's husband a request: "is she ok?" No reply.

>Out of curiosity I called every elderly assisted living (nursing homes and the like) within 2 miles of where Sis lives. I did not find out where Sis worked. Were I to spend a few days in that area I have little doubt that I would find where she works illegally. (Again Juliet tells me that she works under-the-table, so take this as second hand please).

> I left a plea on Juliet's FB account asking if any friend/relative could assist so that I knew she was ok and leaving my email address.

> I called security at the Airport to make sure there was no recorded incident, such as a medical incident, there was none

> One of Juliet's friends from FB who saw my request, who lives in New Hampshire wrote to me angrily, threatening to 911 me. I wrote back outlining the history of what happened. I think this friend began to wonder because last week, Juliet who obviously enjoyed talking with Filipinos (Once there was a group of people in our local Walmart store and she wondered if they were--I said: "Walk near them and quietly say something in Tagalog," if they're Filipino they'll turn and stare at you." She did--they were, and we got an invite to a Filipina family half an hour away) (Lola, (grandmother is a treat and I will go and visit one day). Well, This FB friend who wrote to me lives about two hours away and days before the crisis I had said to Juliet: "Ask your friend if they would like some company for an afternoon--we'll drive over, it's only 4 hours round trip." Juliet said she had done this several days before the problem started and when I queried her about it she said: "no answer, no invite." The angry friend took a different tack after my return email. She went to Juliet's relatives in Cebu, found Juliet was ok, and wrote me as such. In her return note she wrote: "I had been expecting you two to visit this weekend." Thus Juliet apparently had an invite but lied to me days before all this started. That to me, indicates that this departure was planned, and "out the back Jack" required only confirmation of AOS. (possibly, probably? coached by Sis) AOS confirmation arrived. Within hours Juliet picked a fight--over trivial things. Then, for the first time in our relationship slept alone in our second bedroom, and then the next day up and packed and left. No tears from her. Just a "thank you" and walked away at the terminal.

Now three days later I find that she's safe. Nobody, not her, not Sis, not Harold her husband, not her brother who speaks English enough to understand my post to him on FB would even take the kindness to simply text back: "she's ok, doesn't want to talk."

A summary of red flags that are important to me:

-Juliet joined MelindasPenpals an onsite, very good, fil-am dating site only days before she initiated a chat with me that struck me like lightening. Perps don't take months or years to scope out a target do they?

- Illegal (undocumented) sis who is clearly manipulative admirably conniving, and clearly very knowledgeable about immigration rules and how to circumvent them, and who lives and who has lived in America for years without valid documentation (so Juliet tells me), apparently with a husband who is also illegal (undocumented or so as Juliet said). Add to this Juliet told be: "Sis told brother that she will bring him here" but has no legal way of doing that. Possibly American law does not concern her Sister.

- The lie about visiting her friend who clearly had told her to drive over and visit that weekend--and yet Juliet the day this started said: "no invite."

- On Jan 6th under the topic "2013 AOS Filers" here at VJ, Juliet wrote: "I am one of the many here who just started their AOS, I sent in my application on December 27th but until now there is no notice of action on our application. Perhaps it was because of the holidays? What is the normal time frame for the NOA1?" So the very day before this started she was searching for the AOS notification arrival date.

- On Jan 4th she advised an unhappy friend whose relationship appears to be ending: "not to sign divorce papers." (Note: I don't read Cebuano and translators don't either so I don't know the context--again, it's just a red flag. So this may be out of context.)

- Turmoil started immediately (within hours) of AOS receipt confirmation

- No tears, not one. Not during any argument. Not at the airport.

-Juliet's refusal to talk with a mediator, or to talk with Woman's Assistance, or to talk calmly with me, or to even make demands.

-Juliet cancelled an appointment for Community education assessment BEFORE this turmoil started.

-Before this started Juliet announced that she would not take a class that she had scheduled for the following week and wondered if anyone needed to know about that.

-Juliet stated "I'm not your wife." And would not even discuss the necessity of divorce, nor consider agreeing and signing the documents before leaving. (They are a simple few pages that are on the web--no waiting period--very easy--if "uncontested)." She also refused to talk to a mediator who I called.

-Her comment "you'll pay."

-Her refusal to speak to Woman's Supportive Services when they called.

-The calm "thank you" at the airport when I pulled the luggage off the truck and gave it to her. Not even a look back. No tears, no emotion. I wish I had taken a photo--it would have shown a person totally unconcerned, simply going about life as though she was on a business trip.

-Juliet's refusal to accomodate my request: "please ask your sister to talk to me and say that she's buying you a ticket"

-Sister's refusal to respond to my calls, these just two minutes after Juliet hung up with her. She refused to respond to my texts too, then and later.

-Then, cruel dead air. No response not even a simple: "ok, go away." from Sis, from Sis's husband, from her brother who I wrote to (all speak enough English and the FB post had my email address on it.

Red flags do not necessarily find a person guilty. But the multitude of them and the timing of them to me says: "I've been had."

About the prior tampo/PMS "fits:" On every prior one there were always tears--lots of them, tons of tears, sobs. This time: Not one drop. Further, in every instance, and I have many of the ones I documented she wrote to me begging forgiveness and admitting the stupidity of the argument--and acknowledging PMS as the cause. Here I thought by today, she'd be doing just that but no--dead air.

Now I just have the fear and agony of how this will play out and how many thousands of dollars will this victim (me) (perhaps I should say "parisitic host") have to pay.

Note: Yes, it could be me, certainly in part. Maybe I was a disappointment. Maybe my paltry few hundred thousand in assets didn't make the cut. Maybe the lack of job--but she said this did not concern her so she said. Maybe because I'm 30 lbs overweight (now 20lbs) But keep in mind I was quite willing to sell both of my properties to move to where she wanted to be. I was willing to accommodate any of her needs. What makes this worse is all the seemingly affection, all the good times--which compromised over 90% of the times we were together. What makes this most painful is that I'm an older guy and I've always wanted children. I think she preyed on that from the very beginning because I said so on the dating site, and told me she wanted children with me. (Please let the commentary on age of father versus whether this is a good or bad thing be another post elsewhere, and I'd enjoy such a post.). Yes, I can have children, easily with ART (Assisted Reproduction Technololgy) but without in vitro fertilization due to my low sperm count--she never had to worry about becoming pregnant.

So it seems that I've been had. From notes here, I'm not the first, and I'm not the last.

Advice: The only advice that I can really think of is no matter what your heart feels--do a good prenuptial agreement whereby each keep what they had before the marriage, with equitable division of property accrued from the date of marriage to the date of filing the divorce, and perhaps if the marriage survives a certain number of agreed years, then equitable division of non-work assets such as retirement accounts. And make sure that before making such an agreement, especially if you do it yourself--that the immigrant sees a lawyer to review it, one who speaks in his/her language, otherwise such an agreement will be thrown out. One lawyer will NOT do--trust me on that. It's the same as why one lawyer cannot normally (unless acting as mediator) represent both parties. I believed and trusted her so much that my heart overruled my head on this one.

Yiddish uses letter/sound inversions, it would be complex to explain but loosely translated is "heart before head = fool" where the simple inversion of letters creates "head before heart = king." I'm not Jewish but that's a wise thing to remember.

Other than that, good advice from the board was: Spend a year or two living together before. But sadly this is often not possible and wasn't in my case. Most of us must work and don't have the luxury of spending two years overseas.

I won't berate myself. I've seen plenty of other immigrant couples with large age differences whose marriage has stood the test of time. I guess that if you're a mark (a target) and the perp knows (or is coached on how to get to America) you may never know until the last 24 hours. Though I can find much in retrospect none of it was obvious--there were no clues. What I do find interesting is that the night Juliet slept in the other room I was distraught to an extreme degree. I think at that time though I can't say how--my mind knew it was the end.

As things play out, VOWA or no VOWA, and what equitable division turns out to be, along with costs--I'll update this.

Again, thank you all.

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

To all, N-O-L-A's post was to me. I have taken no offense and discussion is not pertinent to my subject which is of great importance to me. If you have jibes or complaints please take it elsewhere before my thread gets shut down.

N-O-L-A makes lovely bread--I admire that. (see her blog)

Again, to each their own.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Again, thank you all for your input. The following is my summation:

I didn't know sis's name but did know her phone number.

With that phone number, all for free, via the internet, I was pretty amazed at what I found and how little time it took to find it. I found:

>Sis's name. Actually the phone was associated with a made-up name. It was her last name first, and then part of her first name as the last name (so reversed and modified).

>I found, for free, that the phone operated within a 1.83 square mile area in Phoenix, AZ along with latitude/longitude.

> From the incorrect name and the location I searched using the first and the last tame along with variants, searching for property sales and I found multiple property sale(s), and property purchase in Sis's and her husband's name. So now I know exactly where Sis lives. I know exactly what Sis's full name is. Their current house is a very nice place, with a very nice SUV. Nicer than my place. And just tracing two buy/sells someone here should be a real estate broker. We're talking an increase in value due to these sales that ranges from $20,000 to $40,000 depending on how you look at it since, of course the last purchase has not been sold. (The $40,000 gain would be if sold at Zillow.com's "fair estimated price for that neighborhood." Maybe my big mistake was that I married the wrong sister. Forty grand by flipping houses in a year is not chump change.

> From that I found Sis's real and full name, plus her husband's name.

> From her husband's name I found him on Linkedin. Now I don't like social media but I feel that linkedin is important when working in a field where networking is important so I have a Linkedin account. Btw, although second hand information, since Juliet told me this--Sis's husband is here undocumented also.

> I purchased a free month premium account so I could email Sis's husband a request: "is she ok?" No reply.

>Out of curiosity I called every elderly assisted living (nursing homes and the like) within 2 miles of where Sis lives. I did not find out where Sis worked. Were I to spend a few days in that area I have little doubt that I would find where she works illegally. (Again Juliet tells me that she works under-the-table, so take this as second hand please).

> I left a plea on Juliet's FB account asking if any friend/relative could assist so that I knew she was ok and leaving my email address.

> I called security at the Airport to make sure there was no recorded incident, such as a medical incident, there was none

> One of Juliet's friends from FB who saw my request, who lives in New Hampshire wrote to me angrily, threatening to 911 me. I wrote back outlining the history of what happened. I think this friend began to wonder because last week, Juliet who obviously enjoyed talking with Filipinos (Once there was a group of people in our local Walmart store and she wondered if they were--I said: "Walk near them and quietly say something in Tagalog," if they're Filipino they'll turn and stare at you." She did--they were, and we got an invite to a Filipina family half an hour away) (Lola, (grandmother is a treat and I will go and visit one day). Well, This FB friend who wrote to me lives about two hours away and days before the crisis I had said to Juliet: "Ask your friend if they would like some company for an afternoon--we'll drive over, it's only 4 hours round trip." Juliet said she had done this several days before the problem started and when I queried her about it she said: "no answer, no invite." The angry friend took a different tack after my return email. She went to Juliet's relatives in Cebu, found Juliet was ok, and wrote me as such. In her return note she wrote: "I had been expecting you two to visit this weekend." Thus Juliet apparently had an invite but lied to me days before all this started. That to me, indicates that this departure was planned, and "out the back Jack" required only confirmation of AOS. (possibly, probably? coached by Sis) AOS confirmation arrived. Within hours Juliet picked a fight--over trivial things. Then, for the first time in our relationship slept alone in our second bedroom, and then the next day up and packed and left. No tears from her. Just a "thank you" and walked away at the terminal.

Now three days later I find that she's safe. Nobody, not her, not Sis, not Harold her husband, not her brother who speaks English enough to understand my post to him on FB would even take the kindness to simply text back: "she's ok, doesn't want to talk."

A summary of red flags that are important to me:

-Juliet joined MelindasPenpals an onsite, very good, fil-am dating site only days before she initiated a chat with me that struck me like lightening. Perps don't take months or years to scope out a target do they?

- Illegal (undocumented) sis who is clearly manipulative admirably conniving, and clearly very knowledgeable about immigration rules and how to circumvent them, and who lives and who has lived in America for years without valid documentation (so Juliet tells me), apparently with a husband who is also illegal (undocumented or so as Juliet said). Add to this Juliet told be: "Sis told brother that she will bring him here" but has no legal way of doing that. Possibly American law does not concern her Sister.

- The lie about visiting her friend who clearly had told her to drive over and visit that weekend--and yet Juliet the day this started said: "no invite."

- On Jan 6th under the topic "2013 AOS Filers" here at VJ, Juliet wrote: "I am one of the many here who just started their AOS, I sent in my application on December 27th but until now there is no notice of action on our application. Perhaps it was because of the holidays? What is the normal time frame for the NOA1?" So the very day before this started she was searching for the AOS notification arrival date.

- On Jan 4th she advised an unhappy friend whose relationship appears to be ending: "not to sign divorce papers." (Note: I don't read Cebuano and translators don't either so I don't know the context--again, it's just a red flag. So this may be out of context.)

- Turmoil started immediately (within hours) of AOS receipt confirmation

- No tears, not one. Not during any argument. Not at the airport.

-Juliet's refusal to talk with a mediator, or to talk with Woman's Assistance, or to talk calmly with me, or to even make demands.

-Juliet cancelled an appointment for Community education assessment BEFORE this turmoil started.

-Before this started Juliet announced that she would not take a class that she had scheduled for the following week and wondered if anyone needed to know about that.

-Juliet stated "I'm not your wife." And would not even discuss the necessity of divorce, nor consider agreeing and signing the documents before leaving. (They are a simple few pages that are on the web--no waiting period--very easy--if "uncontested)." She also refused to talk to a mediator who I called.

-Her comment "you'll pay."

-Her refusal to speak to Woman's Supportive Services when they called.

-The calm "thank you" at the airport when I pulled the luggage off the truck and gave it to her. Not even a look back. No tears, no emotion. I wish I had taken a photo--it would have shown a person totally unconcerned, simply going about life as though she was on a business trip.

-Juliet's refusal to accomodate my request: "please ask your sister to talk to me and say that she's buying you a ticket"

-Sister's refusal to respond to my calls, these just two minutes after Juliet hung up with her. She refused to respond to my texts too, then and later.

-Then, cruel dead air. No response not even a simple: "ok, go away." from Sis, from Sis's husband, from her brother who I wrote to (all speak enough English and the FB post had my email address on it.

Red flags do not necessarily find a person guilty. But the multitude of them and the timing of them to me says: "I've been had."

About the prior tampo/PMS "fits:" On every prior one there were always tears--lots of them, tons of tears, sobs. This time: Not one drop. Further, in every instance, and I have many of the ones I documented she wrote to me begging forgiveness and admitting the stupidity of the argument--and acknowledging PMS as the cause. Here I thought by today, she'd be doing just that but no--dead air.

Now I just have the fear and agony of how this will play out and how many thousands of dollars will this victim (me) (perhaps I should say "parisitic host") have to pay.

Note: Yes, it could be me, certainly in part. Maybe I was a disappointment. Maybe my paltry few hundred thousand in assets didn't make the cut. Maybe the lack of job--but she said this did not concern her so she said. Maybe because I'm 30 lbs overweight (now 20lbs) But keep in mind I was quite willing to sell both of my properties to move to where she wanted to be. I was willing to accommodate any of her needs. What makes this worse is all the seemingly affection, all the good times--which compromised over 90% of the times we were together. What makes this most painful is that I'm an older guy and I've always wanted children. I think she preyed on that from the very beginning because I said so on the dating site, and told me she wanted children with me. (Please let the commentary on age of father versus whether this is a good or bad thing be another post elsewhere, and I'd enjoy such a post.). Yes, I can have children, easily with ART (Assisted Reproduction Technololgy) but without in vitro fertilization due to my low sperm count--she never had to worry about becoming pregnant.

So it seems that I've been had. From notes here, I'm not the first, and I'm not the last.

Advice: The only advice that I can really think of is no matter what your heart feels--do a good prenuptial agreement whereby each keep what they had before the marriage, with equitable division of property accrued from the date of marriage to the date of filing the divorce, and perhaps if the marriage survives a certain number of agreed years, then equitable division of non-work assets such as retirement accounts. And make sure that before making such an agreement, especially if you do it yourself--that the immigrant sees a lawyer to review it, one who speaks in his/her language, otherwise such an agreement will be thrown out. One lawyer will NOT do--trust me on that. It's the same as why one lawyer cannot normally (unless acting as mediator) represent both parties. I believed and trusted her so much that my heart overruled my head on this one.

Yiddish uses letter/sound inversions, it would be complex to explain but loosely translated is "heart before head = fool" where the simple inversion of letters creates "head before heart = king." I'm not Jewish but that's a wise thing to remember.

Other than that, good advice from the board was: Spend a year or two living together before. But sadly this is often not possible and wasn't in my case. Most of us must work and don't have the luxury of spending two years overseas.

I won't berate myself. I've seen plenty of other immigrant couples with large age differences whose marriage has stood the test of time. I guess that if you're a mark (a target) and the perp knows (or is coached on how to get to America) you may never know until the last 24 hours. Though I can find much in retrospect none of it was obvious--there were no clues. What I do find interesting is that the night Juliet slept in the other room I was distraught to an extreme degree. I think at that time though I can't say how--my mind knew it was the end.

As things play out, VOWA or no VOWA, and what equitable division turns out to be, along with costs--I'll update this.

Again, thank you all.

So is she inside the US still?

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

Yes, in a part of Phoenix, Arizona. I've seen the house on google maps.

As a guess I'd wonder if the intent is for elder Sis to coach her on how to get a Green Card. Once Juliet has the Green Card after a certain time--she can sponsor the rest of the family, which could be Sister's intent.

Sister (Juliet told me that she was a CNA (Certified Nurse's Assistant) and Juliet tells me has as much work as she wants at $20/hour. Well, that's pretty good pay. But after I found sis's real name, I looked up on the Arizona Board of Nursing to see if she had a valid license. Interestingly she does not. In fact Sis has taken the CNA exam 4 or 5 times over the past two years--each time failing. So Sis, making $20/hour (if true) is, if anything working as a simple caretaker--whose ability to care for patients are very, very limited. Or maybe Sis is faking and says she has a CNA--but most places check. Most likely Sis is a caretaker for a private person, for instance you have a relative who is ill, terminally or not. They need someone to clean, feed, give meds (illegally without certification) etc. And $20 is cheap. I would not be surprised if someone in the area acts as an agent, pulling in private clients and offering them, let's say: "$24/hour, paid only by cash, and then arranges someone like Sis who will work for $20/hour. If the arrangement is cash the client doesn't mind (although this is illegal) because certified (CNA, LPN or RN) care would cost much more. All just conjecture mind you.

So Juliet who, by the way, has a Caretaker certificate from the Philippines could jump into such a scenario on short order. $800@ week x 2 with no taxes could hold a lot of allure. That's $83,200 gross with no overtime (and Juliet told me that sis often worked 12 hour days--tax free. Mere conjecture but perhaps it's Sis's under-the-table (if it really exists) income is what is funding the house flipping. Who knows?

Edited January 11, 2014 by SteveXXJuliet

[missicy 87]

I don't think your marriage has been ruined by PMS or your inability to deal with it. This woman simply used you for immigration benefits. Pull I-864 so she can't get a green card, then get a divorce and move on.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

I'd pull the I-864, and see about getting an Annulment instead of a divorce. If you've only been married a short time it should be possible, especially if she's gone missing.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I'd pull the I-864, and see about getting an Annulment instead of a divorce. If you've only been married a short time it should be possible, especially if she's gone missing.

I agree. The recent update is bad news and she fell out of her "all is well the day after pattern."

OP, so sorry and I understand how it hurts. Wishing you brighter future.

[Darnell 8,478]

Steve - good detective work and summations.

Stuff todo:

1. file for annulment (not divorce) in your state, citing 'visa scam' as the reason.

2. write that letter withdrawing the I-864 , send it off to the address in the receipt notice, with signature confirmation. this will take a bit longer once the postal mail hits the uscis mailroom, but it's worth it. Also drop off the letter (yet another copy) at the USCIS office deemed your local office via an infopass appointment.

[rlogan 2,036]

There will have been some red flags much earlier on. For example, not even knowing the sister's name - a sister that is in the USA! Incredible, really. Traditionally people make it a point getting to know the family, friends, and neighbors of a serious relationship... but most especially one that is in the same country she is immigrating to. This immigrant for marriage already has an illegal alien sister here whose name has been concealed so this should be setting off the alarm bells at the outset.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

There will have been some red flags much earlier on. For example, not even knowing the sister's name - a sister that is in the USA! Incredible, really. Traditionally people make it a point getting to know the family, friends, and neighbors of a serious relationship... but most especially one that is in the same country she is immigrating to. This immigrant for marriage already has an illegal alien sister here whose name has been concealed so this should be setting off the alarm bells at the outset.

Throes of passion my friend, throes of passion.

The more time I spend on VJ the more I see things from the viewpoint of a CO and their sometimes intrusive line of questioning.

Edited January 12, 2014 by Gowon

[Caryh 5,206]

So sorry for you Steve. Yes it certainly has all the appearance of a scam. Although only misunderstanding the system would explain waiting until AOS was filed then running. I guess they don't realize you could pull the affidavit of support. Pull it and annul the marriage, and let it go.

As to working illegal, some woman got my wife's name and cell number before she got her EAD. Texts my wife she had set her up as a in home daily baby sitter. Said she was supposed to report that evening to work. No salary mentioned, no asking if my wife even wanted to do this. Got really upset when my wife said no. I assume she would of taken what ever cut she thought she could get away with. Must have assumed my wife was illegal or something, and not a week or two away from her EAD. There must be a real market for illegal workers, as this happened so darn fast just by my wife telling other Filipinas she wanted to work so badly. She meant getting her ead and working though. The woman was really upset and tried to badger and guilt my wife into working illegally. She did stop until I texted telling her if she ever contacted my wife again, I'd turn her little operation into ICE.

[sweet cakes 326]

Again, thank you all for your input. The following is my summation:

I didn't know sis's name but did know her phone number.

With that phone number, all for free, via the internet, I was pretty amazed at what I found and how little time it took to find it. I found:

>Sis's name. Actually the phone was associated with a made-up name. It was her last name first, and then part of her first name as the last name (so reversed and modified).

....

I have to say, good job on the detective work, Steve! I just hoped you have done some before getting married. But as they say, bygones are bygones. So time to move on now, and never ever think something like PMS (which all women experience, btw) could be the only cause for an argument going berserk. It's more of immaturity and (sorry to say this) if it's regularly happening, it is borderline psychiatric.

On the bright side, atleast you knew this sooner than later. And I am positive that they have skipped the part that you can still withdraw the AOS.

[altonbebe 48]

So sorry for you Steve. Yes it certainly has all the appearance of a scam. Although only misunderstanding the system would explain waiting until AOS was filed then running. I guess they don't realize you could pull the affidavit of support. Pull it and annul the marriage, and let it go.

As to working illegal, some woman got my wife's name and cell number before she got her EAD. Texts my wife she had set her up as a in home daily baby sitter. Said she was supposed to report that evening to work. No salary mentioned, no asking if my wife even wanted to do this. Got really upset when my wife said no. I assume she would of taken what ever cut she thought she could get away with. Must have assumed my wife was illegal or something, and not a week or two away from her EAD. There must be a real market for illegal workers, as this happened so darn fast just by my wife telling other Filipinas she wanted to work so badly. She meant getting her ead and working though. The woman was really upset and tried to badger and guilt my wife into working illegally. She did stop until I texted telling her if she ever contacted my wife again, I'd turn her little operation into ICE.

You sir, should contact ICE anyway.

As a business owner myself, I cannot stand these types of companies.

My ex-wife mother worked for a care business for a while.

When she quit, they would not give her her last pay check.

It was not until I showed up at the door and told the receiptionist, you have 2 choices and I am giving you 30 min to make a decision.

1) Issue the paycheck now

or

2) I was dragging the owner out in the parking lot and beating his braines out.

It's funny how a computer can work so fast.

[yailukmuu 26]

There will have been some red flags much earlier on. For example, not even knowing the sister's name - a sister that is in the USA! Incredible, really. Traditionally people make it a point getting to know the family, friends, and neighbors of a serious relationship... but most especially one that is in the same country she is immigrating to. This immigrant for marriage already has an illegal alien sister here whose name has been concealed so this should be setting off the alarm bells at the outset.

Agreed, My bad.

My bad too for believing that the house she said she owned and built for $25,000 + was funded by a game shop in a mall--the shop was about 3 square meters. I'm sure that the deed is in the name of her sister.

I never met the sister in Az, I met all the other family. I figured in time we'd visit. There seemed no rush.

Dumb me...that's exactly the way that I'm feeling.