Has my marriage been ruined by PMS (or rather by my inability to deal with it?)

[Girl from Celebes 588]

usually, during PMS, chocolate and red wine are useful. That's all I'm a gonna say. Oh Wait ! Midol also !

Chocolate is works but not sure about wine though because I don't drink alcohol.

[Love it is 8]

She is definitely up to something . I have been in your situation . You can get out of it . RUN please she will try to take you for everything you have . That is what my ex husband tried to do , but my money was longer then his and he got nothing . He wanted my 401 k , half the house I mean everything. MY ex husband was the moody one, I believe he did that to try and side track me . So I did not realize what he was trying to do . I know you may love her , but just let it go .

[Cathi 5,744]

She is definitely up to something . I have been in your situation . You can get out of it . RUN please she will try to take you for everything you have . That is what my ex husband tried to do , but my money was longer then his and he got nothing . He wanted my 401 k , half the house I mean everything. MY ex husband was the moody one, I believe he did that to try and side track me . So I did not realize what he was trying to do . I know you may love her , but just let it go .

Not everyone is out to scam. We are talking about a woman, not a man, your situation doesn't compare. Why are there so many people in these threads lately accusing everyone of scamming? SMH

Edited January 9, 2014 by mimolicious

[pachacuti 154]

Since it appears you have decided the marriage will end here are the posibilities.

You don't pull the affidavit of support

She has an interview at which you don't appear and her GC is denied.

She is not selected for an interview and receives her GC.

You are now on the hook until the requirements such as death, loss of her GC, her working 10 years, etc. are met.

You cancel the affidavit of support.

You can always refile for her AOS at anytime. Just beware her returning to you after she realizes you are the only way for her to obtain a GC without leaving the US. She could just be using you if this happens.

Pull the affidavit of support and go your merry way. File for divorce, she doesn't have to agree with it. If she doesn't appear for the hearing it is a default judgement.

What if she files a VAWA claim? OP should definitely make sure to keep himself safe.

[yraheem 9]

I will give you my opinion based on my experience with Filipina, point blank, put your emotions to the side, file a complaint with the USIC and do what you can to get her deported back to her country. you're situation is common and is typical to the following

1. Filipina can't adjust to the U.S. culture because they are not accustom to working, driving, or the hustle of this country

2. Filipina have relatives / friends / boy friends already in the U.S. and they use other men to get them to the U.S.

3. Filipina feel out of place in this country because they don't have their family to hide behind

4. Filipina have a warped perspective of the United States and the reality becomes a shock to them

If you're wife falls in either of the follow criteria you might want to think twice about working things out

1. doesn't speak English very well

2. wasn't working in her own country

3. only has a high school degree

4. doesn't know how to drive a car

5. assumed that you would take care of all her needs

6. thinks that everyone in America is rich

7. Accuse you to sleeping with other women when all you do is go to work and come home

8. Does not effectively communicate

9. Is challenged at following logic

10. Does want to interact with various English speaking people

11. Hide behind you

12. Always referring to "in the Philippines..."

13. Has illogical beliefs

14. Thinks that she should have control over the money

15. Can't seem to follow a conversation in English but is always speaking with her other fellow Filipina in her native or national language

16. Doesn't seems to grasp DIHH (Dual Income House Hold)

If you find your wife to be / wife as a combination of either of the above list. her picking argument is a common ploy used by Filipina who have found their way to the U.S. and now want to be out of the relationship.

Sorry, but as other people have said, PROTECT YOURSELF, put your emotions to the side and follow the dots (logic).

Once she finds out that she can't move without your help, she will be back but only to get her status adjusted, then the arguing starts again.

Just my two cents based on my experience with Filipina (dating).

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I hate when this happens.

Good luck OP.

[Lynkali 163]

She has admitted to having PMS and has even voiced if she has manic-depressive (but she doesn't as the length of time is way too short to fit in that category).

I didn't want to chime in because this isn't a psychiatric forum and it's a huge can of worms, but your original post had me screaming "bipolar, rapid cycling bipolar aggravated by hormonal fluctuations" which a real condition and can easily have the effects you describe. So yes, manic depressive is very very likely, there can be very rapid cycles (even less than 24 hours sometimes), it doesn't have to be weeks of mania or depression.

Anyway, I have no useful advice on the immigration side of things, but my sympathies to both of you. Please keep YOURSELF safe in every way, and reach out for any support where you can find it. Good luck.

[raven52 233]

WITHDRAW YOUR I-894, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, OR YOU ARE RESPONSIBBLE FOR HER FOR MANY YEARS TO COME, EVEN IF YOU DIVORCE.,.,NOT SURE IF SHE RE-MARRIES,..,..,

I AM A NEGATIVE PERSON BY NATURE, BUT.,.,.,.I SMELL SCAM ALL OVER THIS!

GET OUT, GET AWAY FROM HER CUT ALL TIES, BY STOPPPING THE I-894, SUPPORT DOCUMENT!

[Jawaree 717]

My wife had PMS when I met her, we both just coming out

of teens, the 1st two days were agony to her for ma long time

she suffer diaharrea, cramps and puking at times, after the

first kids it got better, but she never acted crazy....yes everyone

is different, and men you can help a bit more around the house,

feed her and just rub her stomach at times especially when she

just have to work, as no one can take off every month fot 2 days.

do not makes excuses for her about PMS almost all women migrating

is going or have gone thru this, that behavior may be bi-polar or

premeditated, and the arguments were your warnings.

This lady may have had a plan all along, she's not leaving, I say

withdraw what U can and report her, then move on...best wishes bro

[Sandra G. 5,043]

With PMS or not she was able to move to another State, probably to stay with her relatives or friends, she will find a job or maybe another man, as you can see PMS won't stop her to live in the US, hey but I thought she came to this Country to be with you.

When she files Vawa and gets Her green card come back here to tell us if you still believe she was suffering PMS.Good luck.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Remove your affidavit of support immediately.

[Love it is 8]

Not everyone is out to scam. We are talking about a woman, not a man, your situation doesn't compare. Why are there so many people in these threads lately accusing everyone of scamming? SMH

[Love it is 8]

So are you saying women don't scam ? they are the biggest ones. I don't care if man women or child normally she stays now all of a sudden she leaves. I see scam all over it , we really don't know what she's up too only she does . So he need to protect himself. I also saw where he said his unemployment ran out now she leaves . Ok your right she's not scamming or up to anything. SMH

[SoCalMark 49]

I will give you my opinion based on my experience with Filipina, point blank, put your emotions to the side, file a complaint with the USIC and do what you can to get her deported back to her country. you're situation is common and is typical to the following

1. Filipina can't adjust to the U.S. culture because they are not accustom to working, driving, or the hustle of this country

2. Filipina have relatives / friends / boy friends already in the U.S. and they use other men to get them to the U.S.

3. Filipina feel out of place in this country because they don't have their family to hide behind

4. Filipina have a warped perspective of the -------------------------

What a great synopsis of "typical" Pinay behavior.... Well done!

This certainly mirrors the attitudes and behaviors of the outer province (or mountain) girls for sure. That is why I have always advised Americans to find a girl that is well educated and be very careful of Visayas girls that post themselves freely on the dating sites. Most of those marriages here have failed in our groups of friends. At least if she is educated she will be able to get a job here and feel good about herself. Boredom is your enemy and she needs to feel accepted and productive.

When I read the original post I was immediately shocked at the documentation of her period cycles. I really don't know anyone who tracks this behavior.

I tend to believe yraheem knowing what I know about Filipina and have to conclude that this was set-up in her mind from the beginning.

Like It was suggested, there will be much advise and opinion on this post but that's what my experiences tell me.

BTW: We only have one side of this story ... and there are always two. She may have some legitimate reasons for leaving. For a Pinay to have a husband that does not have a job is very shameful too.

Edited January 9, 2014 by SoCalMark

[B_J 2,752]

I will give you my opinion based on my experience with Filipina, point blank, put your emotions to the side, file a complaint with the USIC and do what you can to get her deported back to her country. you're situation is common and is typical to the following

1. Filipina can't adjust to the U.S. culture because they are not accustom to working, driving, or the hustle of this country

2. Filipina have relatives / friends / boy friends already in the U.S. and they use other men to get them to the U.S.

3. Filipina feel out of place in this country because they don't have their family to hide behind

4. Filipina have a warped perspective of the United States and the reality becomes a shock to them

If you're wife falls in either of the follow criteria you might want to think twice about working things out

1. doesn't speak English very well

2. wasn't working in her own country

3. only has a high school degree

4. doesn't know how to drive a car

5. assumed that you would take care of all her needs

6. thinks that everyone in America is rich

7. Accuse you to sleeping with other women when all you do is go to work and come home

8. Does not effectively communicate

9. Is challenged at following logic

10. Does want to interact with various English speaking people

11. Hide behind you

12. Always referring to "in the Philippines..."

13. Has illogical beliefs

14. Thinks that she should have control over the money

15. Can't seem to follow a conversation in English but is always speaking with her other fellow Filipina in her native or national language

16. Doesn't seems to grasp DIHH (Dual Income House Hold)

If you find your wife to be / wife as a combination of either of the above list. her picking argument is a common ploy used by Filipina who have found their way to the U.S. and now want to be out of the relationship.

Sorry, but as other people have said, PROTECT YOURSELF, put your emotions to the side and follow the dots (logic).

Once she finds out that she can't move without your help, she will be back but only to get her status adjusted, then the arguing starts again.

Just my two cents based on my experience with Filipina (dating).

I had a nice long reply written to your post but I decided it would be wiser to not post it.

Let me just say that I disagree with almost everything in your post. It is stereotyping, and borderline racist. Nice to know that still exists.