Please Help- Pregnant and US Husband cheated

[cdneh 3,112]

I don't know what happens with the green card, but I do want to wish you all the best in the future. Stay safe until the trip back

[Darnell 8,478]

small note -

the person who petitions for the divorce , handles the filing with the court, pays the fee at the court,

is the person that controls all during the processing and prove-up.

--

as to your question about the ROC casefile - you've a letter from USCIS already, extending your green card for a year.

Carry that with you back to AUS, in case you need to return to USA for something.

[SAT 9,609]

Thankyou everyone for your responces.

I have weighed all my options and am leaving- I will be having the child in Australia and will be filing for divorce....I will be getting something drawn up to where he understands that I am having the child in Australia- therefore not kidnapping.

Thanks for your support xxxx MUCH LOVE

Once more. There is no child yet. You can't kidnap a fetus. You don't have to draw anything up. Nor can he prove that fetus is his. You are one person right now, not 2.

Even if there is a child, it's still not called kidnapping. It's what is known as "custodial interference". Big difference.

If he keeps you from leaving. That's called "unlawful imprisonment"

[SAT 9,609]

And to the guys saying how the child needs a father figure....etc....

Did the OP say she's gonna live in a convent? There are no men left whom will be glad to be a father to that child?

[Possiblymaybe 371]

Thankyou everyone for your responces.

I am planning to move back to australia in 20 days- my flight is booked and my parents are flying over to assist me in the move.

My soon to be ex husband has been mentally abusing me for a while..... He is being HORRIBLE in this whole situation and hasnt asked once about the baby since everything has come out.

He has another biological child in this state and has NOTHING to do with her- I knew about her before the marriage and NEVER told him he couldnt see her- he is the type of person where its "out of sight- out of mind."

I do have friends here- however his family have decided to hide from this situation and wont call me or check up on me. I have tried everything- and I was even considering coming back after giving birth to my baby girl in May....

I spoke with my husband and told him that I would be willing to work on our relationship for the sake of our child if he was willing to fight for our marriage and show me he wanted to change his ways and get proffesional help. Instead he decided to make leaving the country EASY- he has threatened me, mentally abused me, left dirty womens underware in my underware drawer, is still seeing this other woman and is accusing me of trying to get him fired from his job- why would I want this if I eventually wanted child support?!?!?!?!?!

I have weighed all my options and am leaving- I will be having the child in Australia and will be filing for divorce....I will be getting something drawn up to where he understands that I am having the child in Australia- therefore not kidnapping.

My question now is not what I should do...but what will happen with my permanent residency green card? My "conditional 2 year one" expired last august and I went in for biometrics in November- everything is being processed...but what happens if i get a divorce in the mean time before recieving interview/green card????

aRGHHH

Thanks for your support xxxx MUCH LOVE

I'm not sure what happens with your residency. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will come along to answer that.

I just wanted to say that I wish you the best. Maybe it's not a bad idea to see if you could stay with friends until your parents arrive. I can only assume that his behavior will get worse as your departure date gets closer. Stay safe, and try to keep yourself healthy.

[NickD 202]

Always two sides to the story, assuming the guy did pay all the expenses to bring her here, and certainly is responsible for supporting her at 125% the poverty rate for the next ten years, plus child support on his child if it ends up that way.

Not making any accusations, guy could be wild, or could be the wife is driving him away to cheat.

Just saying, there are always two sides to every story.

Results are also state dependent, like in Wisconsin, no fault divorce laws, cheating is okay, but the parent awarded custody can't live further than 125 miles away with the child. But this varies widely from state to state. Major issue with the FBI for child abduction or kidnapping if you prefer, is where one parent takes off with the kid/s.

In international cases, Interpol may get in involved, but a very gray situation in whether this is a civil or legal matter. Also a gray situation as to when a child is a child, either before or after the child is born.

Only advice I can give you if can't work this matter out between yourselves, go see a marriage counselor. If this doesn't work, see an attorney.

[kiria&daniel 23]

Always two sides to the story, assuming the guy did pay all the expenses to bring her here, and certainly is responsible for supporting her at 125% the poverty rate for the next ten years, plus child support on his child if it ends up that way.

Not making any accusations, guy could be wild, or could be the wife is driving him away to cheat.

Just saying, there are always two sides to every story.

Results are also state dependent, like in Wisconsin, no fault divorce laws, cheating is okay, but the parent awarded custody can't live further than 125 miles away with the child. But this varies widely from state to state. Major issue with the FBI for child abduction or kidnapping if you prefer, is where one parent takes off with the kid/s.

In international cases, Interpol may get in involved, but a very gray situation in whether this is a civil or legal matter. Also a gray situation as to when a child is a child, either before or after the child is born.

Only advice I can give you if can't work this matter out between yourselves, go see a marriage counselor. If this doesn't work, see an attorney.

[kiria&daniel 23]

Thank you for your response- in regards to me driving him away- he has been cheating on me since before we were married/engaged - he shouldn't of proposed to me if he was going to be unfaithful.

I work a great job and don't rely on him for money- I paid for all of my visa process and paid to come over to live with him.

I loved this man and believed that he loved me too- it is unfortunate that my marriage is tainted with lies.

He wasn't going to tell me of this other woman- he admited he was never going to tell me- this woman told me- she also is as sick as she knew he was married and that I was pregnant.

He wants nothing to do with me- as I said in my previous comment I was willing to try save my marriage- I loved this man

However I need to go back to have a better support system. I am not doing this for revenge, he has made it clear he doesn't want to be apart of mine or my child's life- he is still seeing this woman and is becoming more and more hateful as it is coming close to my departure.

I am only questioning the visa process as I do had a job willing to take me back over here with the oppertunity of growth and promotions- and I have friends. I would never want to take a child away from their biological father- but in all reality- he has made no effort or no comments regarding being apart of her life.

I will maintain to send photos to him and his family- right now I am looking out for the safety/sanity and support that myself and child need at this time.

Thank you to everyone that has posted lovely comments- it really does get me through the day knowing there are people out there that care.

[NickD 202]

I-751 is loaded with loop holes if I can call these them, with provisions for people in your case. Would have to update your status, make an infopass appointment and get an I-551 stamp in your home passport. If that is expired, can bring two passport photos and apply for an I-94 to keep you here legally so you can work and travel.

This is if you want to stay here, one of the key elements is abuse that comes in many forms besides physical, another is a hardship in returning to your home country.

Can't think of the name off the top of my head right now, but you can contact social services to find out with women in your position, if necessary, will provide you with free room and board and even provide free legal assistance. So you can legally divorce your husband and start a new life. He has to fight for either joint of full custody, doesn't sound like he is interested, but do it legally.

If you elect to stay her and your child is born here, will be an automatic US citizen, in three more years, you can become a US citizen as well. And you do have that I-864 on your side for additional pressure on your husband, whether you want to use it or not. This is up to you.

Emotionally, not easy to love a person you cannot trust and lies and cheat to you. With pressure, found this wonderful woman, still is, with a child her ex refused to give his child he willing never cared about permission to leave her home country. And without that permission, we could not bring her here, even though my wife and full custody of her. So learned he had a total of 14 years of child support payments to make, we forgave that in turn for his permission. Then he was happy to give it.

Stuff like this makes you a bit more cautious the second time, and hopefully you will find a good guy that will love both you and your child.

Help is available for you and will even find it with the USCIS and social services, just do it legally.

[Me_Theo 25]

Dear kiria &daniel

I don't know how much your country can support you about your situation or how much your parent is rich and kind to support you and your child for long time. But think about it. if your husband is enough ####### to abuse,(underwear and ...) how you know he will not change his address or email or phone and state and ... you couldn't find him to take money for child support. How you know after child was born he does not say , she /he is not from him and make big problem and more cost for you to prove she /he is his child ....

I wish your parent could come in US for some months , after your child was born and your citizenship and child certificate was sign by your husband, you go back in your country to raise her/him. We do not sure what will be his plan after you leave him. Remember you told he has another child from other woman and never attention to her and... how you know your child will be special to him ? Talk a lawyer about your leaving and next step (your citizenship and child certificate). If your parent is rich enough and you are sure about your child future, do everything you want, but if they cannot support for long time your child, be a little cautious.you told your husband 's parent and his family hide themselves from this situation , then they will not help you if you want help from them foryour child. please talk with a lawyer before you leave. You spent too much money till now. try one time more for lawyer. If really you want to leave US.

Edited January 11, 2014 by Me_Theo

[Jawaree 717]

Men don't cause women to cheat , women don't make men cheat

silly argument...U can get DNA done thru foreign affairs. and having

the child among family is the best, where love and care will be, also

its a first world country, there's no need to stick around in a bad situation

for U and the baby. Its not like U R returning to starving & a bad life.

Do the right thing for your child go home

Edited January 11, 2014 by Jawaree

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I'm shocked that all of the responses have been to move back to australia before the child is born. The father has a right to his child. His actions have proven that he does not deserve his wife, but cheating on a spouse is no reason why a man should be denied his right to be a father to his child. I can imagine that you are extremely hurt and upset right now, but I think if you were to take a step back, you would realize that denying him his child is not a punishment to fit the crime.

I cannot thank you enough.

There are two roles involved here, a Father and a Husband. Allegedly he doesn't fit op model of a Husband but that doesn't mean that he'll be a bad Father.

I'm disappointed in the moderator that recommended that op should flee.

As a parent one should put the childs best interest ahead.

Good luck to the child.

[Jawaree 717]

Please help,

I am a permanent resident and have applied for my removal of conditions. I should be recieving this sometime soon...

I recently found out my US husband has been cheating on me for the majority of my marriage, I am 6 month pregnant with his child... I want to move back to australia to have my child and divorce him- however I am scared of the legal rights he has over me and my child....

What can I do???? Can he go for custody even if I have my child in Australia? I am planning on divorcing him- he doesnt deserve me and my child.

Please help!

RUN Kiria RUN

[cdneh 3,112]

She's already made her mind up. Her parents are coming to help her return home.

[MacUK 983]

I do find it a little ironic that when anyone asks how they go about bringing children to the States from a previous relationship there are never any thoughts about the fathers rights or how a child needs their father.

But as soon as someone suggests having a child outside of the US away from an unreliable husband these things all get brought up.

To the OP, good luck back at home. If all the decent Aussie blokes aren't already in London then I hope you meet someone who can be your childs daddy.

If your ex-husband wants to visit, let him travel to you.

Edited January 15, 2014 by MacUK