Saddest Day of My Life! Help please

[daviddelen 34]

Be prepared for every manipulation in the book. Also, depending on how devious or desperate she is I would also be concerned about her filing false charges of domestic abuse. This could provide her a way to still get her green card. See this link for details.

http://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/battered-spouse-children-parents

Obviously she has already proven she can't be trusted. Tread lightly.

[deleteddd 35]

I'm really sorry for what happened to you. Don't lose hope, divorce and send her back to her home country, don't spend an other cent on her. The only money she's worth is the ticket back home.

[mrjack 9]

I'd get her out of your house ASAP or you get out. Have several of your trusted friends with you when you do, preferably at least one or two no relative women. You do not want her to file abuse charges against you, this happened to a friend of mine. File for divorce immediately.

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Can I believe it? Absolutely. It happens a lot more often than many of the good natured people on this forum would like to think. You need to pull the I-864 like yesterday. The thread folks have mentioned previously regarding reporting fraud to USCIS is very good and helpful. Wait until she leaves your place on errands and change the locks. I'd throw all her stuff out on the curb to boot. Stay away from her so she can't concoct fake abuse evidence. File for divorce. Move on with your life and be more careful in choosing your spouse next time.

Edited January 8, 2014 by Sarah and Adnan

[Justine+David 218]

You've gotten a lot of good advice.

My suggestion is also take out your valuable stuff and go to a friend's house because once she realizes what you're doing, the ONLY way for her to stay legally is to accuse you of physically/mentally abusing her (it's called, "VAWA"). It's very easy for her to go to a shelter where they will take her in, believe her story (because they have to in case it is real) and hook her up with free lawyers and basically cause you thousands of dollars in lawyer fees and your record sullied because even if she can't prove it, you were still accused of domestic violence and will always be a blemish on your record.

Trust me, it's better that she trash your home apartment than risk staying there alone with her when it's her word against yours. It's much more difficult to accuse you of abusing her if you don't live at her house, don't throw her out of the house, and are never alone with her ever again (bring a friend who can witness--ALWAYS).

If her parents e-mailed you anything about this being fraudulent, take that and whatever you have. Make an Infopass appointment to tell immigration in person.

There's also a fax number you can use to withdraw the I-864 affidavit of support. Do that TODAY before it gets approved before you get a chance to withdraw it. Do it today because it has happened here on VJ when the green card was approved before the petitioner could withdraw it and then you're on the hook.

Update us when you've done all this. But don't be asking any more questions until you do all of this because you have no time to waste. Please do it. We've seen what happens on the other side when the petitioner waits too long...and it's not pretty.

Best of luck. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[vjourneyuser 0]

There's also a fax number you can use to withdraw the I-864 affidavit of support.

Can someone please provide me with that number so I can call them.

I just pray nobody goes through the same thing I am having now. It's someone that I loved from my heart and still couldn't believe what my ears heard when she was talking to her parents!

Thank you all for all the support.

[vjourneyuser 0]

Also, can someone please give me a example of Form I-864 withdrawal example? I need to send a letter to USCIS to withdraw Form I-864.

Thank you so much for the help.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I found an example for you online:

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************

USCIS Adresss [use the address noted in the I-485 receipt notice, formletter I-797C]

RE: [insert Immigrant Name]

Insert Alien Number. #

Insert AOS Application NOA1

Insert ANY AND ALL identifying information for immigrant

NOTICE OF WITHDRAWAL OF AFFIDAVIT OF SUPPORT FORM I-864;

1. Affidavit of Support for proposed immigrant's Form I-485 for Adjustment of Status is specifically WITHDRAWN and REVOKED, and is and has been from its inception a NULLITY for the application referenced above.

2. Sponsor for proposed immigrant specifically DISAVOWS his (or her) agreement to act as sponsor for said proposed immigrant.

3. Insert your name (sponsor information), including address, telephone number.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Send it to USCIS and submit one in person to your local USCIS office too using infopass appointment.

[H&I 6]

It's the saddest day of my life... I just found out that my wife is using me to get a green card and them move on...

Long story short. I brought her as a K1 fiance and then filed for her adjustment of status in November. Everything was good till I heard a long conversation with her parents today talking about her plans. She is basically using me to get a green card and once she gets it she is going to move out and leave me.

Please tell me what to do. She had her fingerprints last December. Is it too late to cancel her adjustment of status? ...

Please, please I need you help. The funny thing is she still lives with me.

You have no idea how I feel right now... It's when you love someone for all this time and all of a sudden I heard the her unbelievable story with her parents.... She told them she never loved me even before I filed for a K-1! Can you believe this?!

Help me please! What should I do.

Oh my gosh.... this is horrible... I've already prayed for you... I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make...I wouldn't say anything to her about what you know...just follow the advise of your friends here. For people who do this sort of thing... is it JUST freedom from their country they want?? It's very scarey. I'm so sorry..... I had a friend this happened too... it crushed her. You have a support system here!!

[Shiobhan 235]

Can I believe it? Absolutely. It happens a lot more often than many of the good natured people on this forum would like to think. You need to pull the I-864 like yesterday. The thread folks have mentioned previously regarding reporting fraud to USCIS is very good and helpful. Wait until she leaves your place on errands and change the locks. I'd throw all her stuff out on the curb to boot. Stay away from her so she can't concoct fake abuse evidence. File for divorce. Move on with your life and be more careful in choosing your spouse next time.

No No ,its illegal to throw out ppl stuff and change locks on

them even if they were just a longterm guest, the law will

not allow it, his right would become a wrong, he just needs

to withdraw I 864, never be around her alone, go to local

infopass office too & report it, and file for a divorce asap.

absolutely do not get in arguments with her

[daviddelen 34]

I don't see any advantages in telling her anything. Once she knows her plan has been discovered she wil try to counteract it somehow. Other than filing false charges she could just try to loot your bank account, sell of some of your assets, or go on a credit card spending spree. You have to look at the context of your unique situation and plan accordingly. Lastly, you should talk to an attorney since you are going to divorce.

[Justine+David 218]

Here is the USCIS customer service line: 1-800-375-5283 open until 6pm local time from where you're calling. It may take awhile to get to a live person, but be persistent. Ask how you can withdraw your i-864 and that you suspect fraud, ask for the fax number and what to send.

https://infopass.uscis.gov/ this is the link to make an infopass appointment in the Boston area.

You need to do both- there are different agencies and you shouldn't rely on just one of them to do their job.

I did a cursory search here on VJ for specific fax numbers, but only found very old threads that may be a right number.

Once you get through it all, post how it goes so that others in the future who are going it too can learn from your experience, if you don't mind. Best of luck.

[daviddelen 34]

If she filed abuse charges against you she could then get a restraining order. This could essentially kick you out of your own house! Unfortunately, the police often side with the woman, and it's guilty until proven innocent. It's not too hard to bruise yourself on a table and claim your spouse did it.

[verysadguy 170]

vjourneyuser, you need to private message me right away. Your life and credibility and money is at great risk RIGHT NOW. Message me!

[officespace 0]

Vjourneyuser:

I feel your pain, hang in there be strong. I'm from Boston as well, and my K-1 fiance is about to arrive in 8 weeks. Sometimes I feel I'm also being used. If you feel like getting a cup of coffee let me know I'm in Quincy.

Are you Vietnamese? Do you speak Vietnamese? I wish I can understand Viet so I know what the hell my wife is talking about. Shame on her family, not just her. I'm surprised they don't have a bigger plan, like using you to help sponsor more family members.

You should file for divorce ASAP. Do you own or rent? Are both of your names on the lease or deed? If her name is not on there, kick her out now. She's trespassing your property. Then she will have nowhere to go, and it's pretty cold today. She work or do you provide?

I actually got married in Nam and moved there. I had paperwork problems so I could not register for marriage or find a job. My wife's family actually likes me a lot so no issues with the family. But she's been acting really strange lately, sometimes I don't hear from her for 2-3 days. I also discovered she has a gambling debt, a new facebook page which she never mentioned to me, and a job which she did not tell me about. I don't think she has any grand plans to use me for a GC, when we got married we agreed to live in Vietnam. When we realized how tough it's going be did we decided to apply for K-1. But it's still shady. And when I called her yesterday, some guy picked up, twice. She said her phone died. Really.

Your wife must be pretty stupid not knowing you were listening in on her convo. Girl's got a pretty big mouth.