I'm terrified, A word could help.

[signingoff 0]

Hello everyone

I have been married for 4.5 years now to my American wife.When we were back home, my family didn't want me to stay married to my wife firstly my wife used to come stay a month with me in a rented apartment and leave but then she got pregnant and we had to stay with my parents because i didn't have my own house at the time and couldn't afford staying more than 1 month in the rented apartment then my family used the chance to cause problems and told my wife that im using her and so on then my wife wanted to leave because she thought that she was between a horrible family. so i said ok, my wife said she was going to come back in 25 days, she left and she wouldn't come back.I didn't get to feel my son in her belly nor see him until he was 2.5 months old after begging and begging and buying 4 flight tickets ..and she finally came in the 4th time. at that time i was working on my own house but it was still tight and i didn't want to have problems with my family because i was working for my dad so when my family was telling her lies in my back..my wife came to me...i told her that they were lying to her and to just ignore them and no one can harm her in anyhow because they were telling her that they were going to take our son from us which is none sense..anyways..she believed them and thats when problems started.she started contacting her family whom told her to

1- Kill me with 5 or more different ways and they were trying to find a method that would make my death look like natural death.

2- kidnap our son and cross boarders with him and sending people to help her do so.

I have proof of all that because i knew she was up to something and she was using my pc and i keylogged it.

I went and reported that at the police because she was serious about that and she was going to go to prison because my family insisted on that and i told them no and told her that i would help her leave the country so she wont go to prison.

She left and i dropped the whole matter but there is a court in tunis working on taking custody off of her and granting it to me or her mom and by that time she applied again for visa for me after being denied first time.

then she came back around 8 months after...we stayed in my house for around 3 months and she told me how sorry she was and she was terrified and that she would do better and she had to come back for her kids and then she came back again and stayed around 5 to 6 months and she was so ncie to our son and i wouldn't want him to have a different mother than his own specially because his own treats him well and i thought everything was fixed until i got the visa then we came here to the states and soon as we came here ..a HELL GATE OPENED ON ME

1- No one told me welcome.

2-kept giving me looks.

3- going to my room without knocking or anything and if i say anything am bad.

4-my wife yell at me if i even tell her we should put something heavier on my son because its cold.she usually says..am a bad mother now,,i leave my son cold ?

5-her sister keeps heating her up on me more and telling her that i treat her bad also that sister of hers had 2 ex boy friends..the first one cheated on her with her twin and second one broke her face..she had a son with her second boy friend which she was charged with making him have brain bleed because of shaking him and had the baby taken from her forever and given to his dads mother.

6- i told her sister not to heat her up on me and leave us alone because i love my wife...my step son 17.5 years old...assulted me...dislocated my shoulder and broke half my face.i called the police and they arrested him then she threatened me of falsing pressing charges against me and putting me in prison and taking my son from and kicking me out if i don't go and DROP all charges against her son which i had to go and do.

7-I have all that recorded with her A-admitting what she was trying to do in Tunis B-People would come in cars and beat me up C-i shouldn't take to my family. D- fake accuse me of preventing her from cleaning up the house because CPS was coming E- her sister telling her to take my son from me soon as i come here.

8- the CPS wants the school records of him being home schooled which she didn't fill out and her son hasn't been to school for 4 years now or more and she told me if they take that son from her...they would also take ours from me and her.

9-she smokes and doesn't work.

10-her eldest son tries to commit suicide and he called the suicide hotline.

11- we are 11 person in the house and the house is so dirty and no space.

12-i offered her to sell my house back in Tunis and get one here but she said she wouldn't leave her kids.

I know thats too long but i had to put all information in here

I need to know what to do..I have no car here...i can't eat or sleep well because am terrified ...luckiely she gave me the phone and laptop back because i told the police she was preventing me of talking to my family which she wants to prove otherwise...please tell me what should i do...also i would afford living in this hell if i would risk losing my precious son 1%..i just dun wanna be away from him.

[milimelo 4,541]

So you came in on IR-1 visa as you're married for more than 2 years?

Do you have your green card yet?

Time to leave that marriage and that dysfunctional family - you don't have to leave the US, you're a permanent resident. Find a new place for yourself and start all over. Once you're established with a job and an apartment, file with your local court to have custody of your son.

[signingoff 0]

So you came in on IR-1 visa as you're married for more than 2 years?

Do you have your green card yet?

Time to leave that marriage and that dysfunctional family - you don't have to leave the US, you're a permanent resident. Find a new place for yourself and start all over. Once you're established with a job and an apartment, file with your local court to have custody of your son.

Yes i did come here on IR-1...and no i haven't got my GC yet, Still waiting for it.

The problems is, I can't stay away from my son...his more than just attached to me..He would cry really hardly if i just went to buy something from market...same for me...I would go nuts if i left him a day and even if i filled for custody...my wife told me that men doesn't have as much rights here and that she would take custody of him if i tried so.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Yes i did come here on IR-1...and no i haven't got my GC yet, Still waiting for it.

The problems is, I can't stay away from my son...his more than just attached to me..He would cry really hardly if i just went to buy something from market...same for me...I would go nuts if i left him a day and even if i filled for custody...my wife told me that men doesn't have as much rights here and that she would take custody of him if i tried so.

If you don't have a job or any means to support yourself in the US chances are you will not be able to fight for custody of your son and it is true that most courts would look more favorably to the mother. If you want to be a part in your son's life, you might be better served by filiing for divorce and going back home. At least you will be able to visit your son from time to time, which beats being in an abusive situation as you describe.

If you fear for your safety get out of the house and seek shelter elsewhere.

Edited January 7, 2014 by Gegel

[RightClicK 17]

You have put so much details in there...I know how you feel...Did you try to talk to her ?

[signingoff 0]

If you don't have a job or any means to support yourself in the US chances are you will not be able to fight for custody of your son and it is true that most courts would look more favorably to the mother. If you want to be a part in your son's life, you might be better served by filiing for divorce and going back home. At least you will be able to visit your son from time to time, which beats being in an abusive situation as you describe.

If you fear for your safety get out of the house and seek shelter elsewhere.

I made this topic here because i need to know how to be with my son not how to leave him, Even if it would take me affording what am in and doing something to be able to get custody, I would do it so the question is , What can i do to be able to get custody ?

You have put so much details in there...I know how you feel...Did you try to talk to her ?

She wouldn't talk to me unless i tell her something and she yells at me..i told her to give me chance to talk to her but she wouldn't..she said she doesn't want to see or hear me because i put her son in prison....like i was supposed to just have all that happen to me and tell him thanks.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I made this topic here because i need to know how to be with my son not how to leave him, Even if it would take me affording what am in and doing something to be able to get custody, I would do it so the question is , What can i do to be able to get custody ?

If you want custody of your son you will need a lawyer. You will need to sue your wife for sole custody of your son and prove she is an unfit mother. In addition you will need to prove you are a fit father and that you will be able to provide for your son, both financially and emotionally.

[signingoff 0]

If you want custody of your son you will need a lawyer. You will need to sue your wife for sole custody of your son and prove she is an unfit mother. In addition you will need to prove you are a fit father and that you will be able to provide for your son, both financially and emotionally.

what sole custody means? and can't i sue my wife for all that stuff that she is doing to me ?

[JohnR! 5,495]

what sole custody means? and can't i sue my wife for all that stuff that she is doing to me ?

Sole custody would make you the legal guardian of your son. Only a lawyer can tell you if you can sue her for what she is doing to you, so my suggestion remains that you should seek legal counsel.

[Ontarkie 14,394]

~~Thread move to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits,from Off Topic- As a more appropriate forum~~

[signingoff 0]

Sole custody would make you the legal guardian of your son. Only a lawyer can tell you if you can sue her for what she is doing to you, so my suggestion remains that you should seek legal counsel.

would that make me able to travel with my son if i got it ?

[JohnR! 5,495]

would that make me able to travel with my son if i got it ?

Nobody can answer that at this point. You need to speak with a lawyer IMHO.

One other option is that you divorce your wife, take care of your life and be a part of your son's life as many divorced parents do, with visitation rights, weekends, summers, etc. That is the less traumatic route and everyone wins.

Edited January 7, 2014 by Gegel

[RightClicK 17]

Nobody can answer that at this point. You need to speak with a lawyer IMHO.

One other option is taht you divorce yoru wife, take care of your life and be a part of your son's life as many divorced couples do, with visitation rights, weekends, summers, etc. That is the less traumatic route and everyone wins.

i agree

[Caryh 5,206]

would that make me able to travel with my son if i got it ?

No it does not mean you can move your son back to your home country. The assumption of most courts in the USA is both parents should be part of a child's life. Often the courts lean to shared custody of the children, some states going so far as to assume the child should be with each parent 50% of the time. You need to make a case or get the permission from the other parent to change this situation. Its also typical to not allow one parent to move the child out of state, let alone out of the country. If there's a fear one parent would take the child out of the country permanently, they'll work to prevent the child from even getting a passport.

Sounds like you would like to get the child with 100% physical and 100% legal custody both, with no visitation and the right to take him out of the country. This just doesn't really happen or happens so extremely rarely that you'd be very hard pressed to find a case that ruled that way. Even more so when its the father wanting custody, where the traditional bias leans towards custody with the mother.

[signingoff 0]

No it does not mean you can move your son back to your home country. The assumption of most courts in the USA is both parents should be part of a child's life. Often the courts lean to shared custody of the children, some states going so far as to assume the child should be with each parent 50% of the time. You need to make a case or get the permission from the other parent to change this situation. Its also typical to not allow one parent to move the child out of state, let alone out of the country. If there's a fear one parent would take the child out of the country permanently, they'll work to prevent the child from even getting a passport.

Sounds like you would like to get the child with 100% physical and 100% legal custody both, with no visitation and the right to take him out of the country. This just doesn't really happen or happens so extremely rarely that you'd be very hard pressed to find a case that ruled that way. Even more so when its the father wanting custody, where the traditional bias leans towards custody with the mother.

No, My wife promised me that we would all go back together to visit my aunts and brother's family n so on but when she came here...she hid my sons passport and told me i can't have it so it seems like she has changed her word and broke her promise so i would defenitaly want for all of us to go back or at least me and my son because he is Egyptian too and lived there more than he did here so its his home country.