Inhumane

[Kaylara 814]

I agree with that entirely. I don't think that my case is the worst one on here by any stretch of the imagination. I feel terrible for those who have to wait longer, or go through a harder time.

[christeen 966]

Perhaps... I just don't think raging at anyone who posts and flinging negativity and putting yourself through the wringer is a constructive way to deal with the stress of seperation. Not sure what you want to hear at this point? I tried to give you a different perspective and you jumped down my throat, people gave ideas about preparing g the house and other ways to use the time and you shouted them down too. So One or two people were Insensitive in their comments, no reason to go off the deep end. There HAS to be a better way to deal with the stress of seperation and all this negative energy cannot be good for the rest of the family as kids are sensetive to these things.

Bottom line, immigration is a difficult and long process... It is not a right, it is a privilege... It is a slow and cumbersome system that is flawed and no amount of screaming or fighting will make it move faster for the people now reading this... To try to make a difference for future filers, ok, but for those now in the system, it is what it is. Keep the communication with your loved ones open, work extra to save money, organize the house, pack items, keep the kids happy and busy, these are all tangible things that people can do to help,pass the time. Hopefully, for most others reading this, I have faith that the painful memories fade once they are together... Good luck to all, hope the separations are short and you are all soon together... OUT

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I personally think the stress is motivated by the I-130s not being processed for a good part of 2013. There was a lot of uncertainty and still is, even now that processing has picked up again. We tend to see a lot of worst-case-scenarios on this site, such as people still waiting for NOA2s who petitioned for their spouses a year or so ago. After reading so many horror stories, you begin to worry that it will happen to you.

I think instead of competing over who has it the hardest and criticising people for suffering emotionally during the separation period, we should all rally together to support one another through this process.

Most horror stories don't tell the whole truth, and have something in it that makes a difference, and the person keeps it hidden. There is a reason things are out of the ordinary.

I don't think people saying that someone had it harder is to make a contest, but just to point out the relativity of perspective. Some K-1s are complaining that their NOA2 is taking a few months, for instance. Waiting is hard. It is trying to just wait with no end point in sight, to have no control over it. I think everyone on this site understands that.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

Research has shown that it's the uncertainty of a situation which creates a lot stress. It's one of the reasons commuting to a big city for work is so stressful to your well-being because you can not predict how bad the traffic is going to be.

We adapt much better when we know the outcome even if that outcome is a bad one. So researchers have shown that amputees often deal with their situation better once the decision is final than in the months before when the limb might or might not have been saved.

I think the stress of the immigration system would be less if people could just know the exact number of days it would take even if that was longer than they would like. So if it was possible to say "Right, it's going to take 9 months to get the interview" - that's a long time but you would have a specific goal and could stop worrying about when something was going to happen. It's the uncertainty combined with the unfairness with the way the cases get dealt with which means that sometimes people who filed months after you get dealt with before you. That mixture is enough to drive most normal people completely crazy.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Research has shown that it's the uncertainty of a situation which creates a lot stress. It's one of the reasons commuting to a big city for work is so stressful to your well-being because you can not predict how bad the traffic is going to be.

We adapt much better when we know the outcome even if that outcome is a bad one. So researchers have shown that amputees often deal with their situation better once the decision is final than in the months before when the limb might or might not have been saved.

I think the stress of the immigration system would be less if people could just know the exact number of days it would take even if that was longer than they would like. So if it was possible to say "Right, it's going to take 9 months to get the interview" - that's a long time but you would have a specific goal and could stop worrying about when something was going to happen. It's the uncertainty combined with the unfairness with the way the cases get dealt with which means that sometimes people who filed months after you get dealt with before you. That mixture is enough to drive most normal people completely crazy.

It's a good thought, however there is realistically no way to give a time frame on when a particular petition will be adjudicated.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

It's a good thought, however there is realistically no way to give a time frame on when a particular petition will be adjudicated.

I don't think it was meant as a suggestion, just a comment about the psychology of it.

[dhavalskyhawk 12]

we have been married on 15th october 2012, and after that my wife visited me in November 2013 just only for 10 days ( because both of haven't had enough leaves). Now we both feel its too much and we are planning to stay together in singapore till this process goes through. Seriously, it's a torture.

[Boiler 44,865]

I have yet to come across one section of the Government that is effective and timely. Why should USCIS be different?

[r060106 109]

Priority, in this context, implying that we were on the list of applications that had resources devoted to it. Which I thought was clear from the context of my post. Our cases had no priority, in that they had basically no resources devoted to dealing with them.

But that being said, US Citizens and their immediate family members DO have an expectation of priority. As the only immigrant classes that have no numerical limits and visas "immediately" available, along with the very clearly stated goals in our immigration laws of Family Unity being the #1 priority, it does mean that we should be first in line.

Yes, me me me, you're damn right. I'm an American Citizen, and my family absolutely should come before people who came to the US illegally because we are going through the proper legal channels. If that makes me entitled, then so be it. That doesn't mean that I think they shouldn't be serviced, but they should NOT be getting put in the line ahead of people who are following the law.

I'm not whining, I'm stating facts. And working to improve the situation, which is more than I can say for any of the posters here who continue to come in and actively try to discourage people who are already going through a bad time.

If you don't like reading my posts, you can always block me.

Also, I do so love being told that I'm the ruination of the US. It's such a powerful position, having the ability to single-handedly ruin a country. I wonder if I could expand this super power to other areas of my life.

Amen Kaylara, amen! As always, very well said! So darn true about DACA. Keep it coming.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

You should pack up and go live with your spouse..

The same could be said for anyone who's not happy with their wait times and how things are currently.

[Ontarkie 14,133]

~~Two post removed for personal attacks, member now thread banned for not heading warning by Moderator~~

[Kaylara 814]

Perhaps... I just don't think raging at anyone who posts and flinging negativity and putting yourself through the wringer is a constructive way to deal with the stress of seperation. Not sure what you want to hear at this point? I tried to give you a different perspective and you jumped down my throat, people gave ideas about preparing g the house and other ways to use the time and you shouted them down too. So One or two people were Insensitive in their comments, no reason to go off the deep end. There HAS to be a better way to deal with the stress of seperation and all this negative energy cannot be good for the rest of the family as kids are sensetive to these things.

Bottom line, immigration is a difficult and long process... It is not a right, it is a privilege... It is a slow and cumbersome system that is flawed and no amount of screaming or fighting will make it move faster for the people now reading this... To try to make a difference for future filers, ok, but for those now in the system, it is what it is. Keep the communication with your loved ones open, work extra to save money, organize the house, pack items, keep the kids happy and busy, these are all tangible things that people can do to help,pass the time. Hopefully, for most others reading this, I have faith that the painful memories fade once they are together... Good luck to all, hope the separations are short and you are all soon together... OUT

I haven't shouted down anyone, nor am I going off the deep end. I'm not raging at anyone (except the USCIS), nor putting myself or my kids through the wringer, but thank you for your concern. I responded to your difference of opinion. I wasn't aware that we weren't having a conversation here, but that everyone was just supposed to state their opinion, and then not comment on anyone else's. I think, perhaps, you are misreading my tone. Frankly, I usually only come on here during the day during the few minutes where I'm not horrendously busy, and don't have time to mince words.

I think your suggestions on dealing with the separation are good. My problem is that it seems that too many people who are done with it do seem to forget how difficult it was, and can get downright nasty in responding to the people who are still waiting. Or people who didn't have to wait nearly as long, who come in and chide others for being upset that it is taking a long time. I don't think that we should be minimizing their pain. I just don't think that's in any way supportive or helpful. And for some people, coming in here and having people to commiserate with and vent with is very therapeutic and helps them to deal with the situation. I've seen so many people on here who are happy to just have other people understand what they're going through.

I can entirely understand how people might get sick of seeing the complaints, but they really don't have to read areas or threads that irritate them, nor do they have to respond to them. If a post or a thread makes me that upset, I will either report it (if I think it's necessary) or I walk away from the discussion.

I do hope that most people forget or are able to move past their experience with the immigration system once their loved ones are here. But I hope that they would retain enough memory to be kind to those who are suffering because of it.

I have yet to come across one section of the Government that is effective and timely. Why should USCIS be different?

So why shouldn't we work to improve it, then? Or should we just accept that it's inefficient, and there's no way to fix it? Because personally, I think that accepting it and not even attempting to fix anything is exactly how this level of inefficiency has developed.

[Boiler 44,865]

http://gizmodo.com/the-air-force-is-sending-brand-new-cargo-planes-straigh-1515149181

Here you are.

[DvMan 49]

Priority, in this context, implying that we were on the list of applications that had resources devoted to it. Which I thought was clear from the context of my post. Our cases had no priority, in that they had basically no resources devoted to dealing with them.

But that being said, US Citizens and their immediate family members DO have an expectation of priority. As the only immigrant classes that have no numerical limits and visas "immediately" available, along with the very clearly stated goals in our immigration laws of Family Unity being the #1 priority, it does mean that we should be first in line.

Yes, me me me, you're damn right. I'm an American Citizen, and my family absolutely should come before people who came to the US illegally because we are going through the proper legal channels. If that makes me entitled, then so be it. That doesn't mean that I think they shouldn't be serviced, but they should NOT be getting put in the line ahead of people who are following the law.

I'm not whining, I'm stating facts. And working to improve the situation, which is more than I can say for any of the posters here who continue to come in and actively try to discourage people who are already going through a bad time.

If you don't like reading my posts, you can always block me.

Also, I do so love being told that I'm the ruination of the US. It's such a powerful position, having the ability to single-handedly ruin a country. I wonder if I could expand this super power to other areas of my life.

Damn straight. US Citizens need to be in the front of the line. Period.

[Natalie and Bruce 18]

Priority, in this context, implying that we were on the list of applications that had resources devoted to it. Which I thought was clear from the context of my post. Our cases had no priority, in that they had basically no resources devoted to dealing with them.

But that being said, US Citizens and their immediate family members DO have an expectation of priority. As the only immigrant classes that have no numerical limits and visas "immediately" available, along with the very clearly stated goals in our immigration laws of Family Unity being the #1 priority, it does mean that we should be first in line.

Yes, me me me, you're damn right. I'm an American Citizen, and my family absolutely should come before people who came to the US illegally because we are going through the proper legal channels. If that makes me entitled, then so be it. That doesn't mean that I think they shouldn't be serviced, but they should NOT be getting put in the line ahead of people who are following the law.

I'm not whining, I'm stating facts. And working to improve the situation, which is more than I can say for any of the posters here who continue to come in and actively try to discourage people who are already going through a bad time.

If you don't like reading my posts, you can always block me.

Also, I do so love being told that I'm the ruination of the US. It's such a powerful position, having the ability to single-handedly ruin a country. I wonder if I could expand this super power to other areas of my life.

I'll stand next to you as well, and say that we should be "entitled" to being at the front of the line, as USC's. As it should be!, and I'm sure it is in most other countries, for their citizens, as well. It's really a shame, that our government cares more about people who have broken our laws, than it's own law abiding, natural born citizens.