A Moroccan man just gave me some advice...you may not like it tho....

[Rosesarered 11]

I'm not a teacher and I'm constantly battling the stereotypes of Muslims with friends and some of my family. People believe everything they read in the news as gospel. It gets tiring, but I feel the need to defend my husband and his religion. Islam is a religion of over a billion people, different cultures and countries, and every one of them is judged by the stupidity of a select few, it's maddening. This weekend my husband and and I went to see the movie Lone Survivor, I won't tell you how the movie ends, but I will say at the end it shows what Islam is really about, it was refreshing, the movie is a true story. On the way out of the theater my husband said to me " I'm glad the movie portrayed REAL Muslims truthfully", I was thinking the same even before he said a word.

I have said this so many times on this site, there are scammers from every country, every age, male and female alike, just because someone married a POS scammer slime ball thief liar from a certain country doesn't make everyone from said country the same. Every marriage on the face of the Earth could potentially end in divorce, there are users and abusers from every corner of the planet, my ex was one and he is AMERICAN. Does this make every man from the US just like him? No it doesn't. So stating that very man from Morocco or from a MENA country only wants to marry a US citizen for a green card is totally absurd. I'm not shooting the messenger, I'm just saying that the messenger's messenger is full of #######.

How is it you guys are reading absolute statements into my words? Did I ever in any post say "everyone from" or "All of the people from"

And I am not "FULL OF #######" thank you

[Rosesarered 11]

Some of you guys I recognize from years ago when I was just doing the visa petition for my husband and you were picking on people even back than. Why are you still on here doing this? Surely your spouses must already be in the country. Is this just a fun pastime for you? We girls used to private message about your comments back in the day and although I did not keep in touch with those I befriended during my journey as I was just happy to have my now X-husband (oh am I allowed to call him that? sorry if I bothered you and your mean person code of ethics hehe) Sure wish I kept in touch with them now so we could defend others but we have a life it seems. So have a great time for many years to come hurting people along the way. As my Now X-husband used to say about you back than..."God will pay them is "you" Salam!

[Peace.... 281]

As for other posters, if you disagree with someone's opinion, outright attacking them isn't making your statement that much plausible either. We should all be able to comment on poster's comments and agree to disagree and discuss why we disagree with logic like adults rather than gaining up and bullying individuals with insults and rudeness. You

can tell someone they are wrong or you disagree without the extra . . .

So in other words, you are giving ROSESARERED the okay to just blow some smoke up a few people xxxxx here and expect those of us who have been here years prior to you, to just agree with some racists ####### about Muslims. And yes, Muslims, she spoke about this with a woman married to a Nigerian not someone from Iran. You can call me one of those posters if you want, or better yet, you can look at her first four words and determine if she was talking about your spouse or fiancé since he lives in morocco. ITS ALL IMMIGRANTS. I take too much pride in my husband and his family and friends for some two bit person come on here and say such non sense which she knows it is, she was obviously trying to ruffle some feathers, which she did. Mine anyways...

Quote from ROSESARERED....

Seriously Its all immigrants. I am going thru this with a man from morocco I married. He was so sweet and such a nice guy in morocco and when here for the first few years but the more comfortable he became and the more he got used to the freedoms here in the states, I think he went crazy with lust and things. Almost like a kid that finally was out from his parents house. I don't even think he knew the "real him" and maybe eventually he will settle down and feel bad for what he has done and put me thru etc...maybe not..but its such a risk when you marry someone from a culture that is strickt about the affection in public, the way sex is considered wrong if you are not married etc. They still have sex they just have to hide it, buy it or from what I have been told, it is common for men to have sex with each other because it does not seem as bad to them as sex with a woman not your wife. I have even heard that girls will have ####### sex and not vaginal because they wont risk being found out (losing virginity) so even though these things seem strange here, it is accepted although shunned there. So when men (women too maybe) get here they realize "hey I can do this now!" and the little demons come out of them and unfortunately hurt others

[Peace.... 281]

How is it you guys are reading absolute statements into my words? Did I ever in any post say "everyone from" or "All of the people from"

And I am not "FULL OF #######" thank you

Well I just quoted you ..... ITS ALL IMMIGRANTS... So you don't have to say where, hell you said ALL

Think carefully before you marry a Nigerian, I regret it.

That is where you posted, remember.?.??

Edited January 27, 2014 by foreverwaiting

[sandinista! 1,816]

The woman whom I quoted in my earlier post was harshly criticized by a lot of forum members and so her thread was locked of any further comments as I am pretty sure those kind of comments are not really helping anyone and they certainly are not going to help the one who created the thread. Attacks rarely help anyone from what I can tell. But now I do understand why the ladies and men that have gone thru the visa process and had a bad experience DO NOT come back here to share with others. If you have already been beaten up emotionally by a bad relationship...why come to a board or forum like this and have people attack you??????? I am sure there are hundreds of people if not thousands whom have gone thru this process and could offer valuable experience to those with questions and needs or support, but they would be afraid to open themselves up to SOME people that I do not need to name because they are obvious. You can attract more fly's with honey than vinegar and I am sure whether you are Muslim, Christian or any God based religion you know that loving each other is the best way to get your point across. I am sure even this post will draw the talons and teeth out of someone here.

No one criticized her though for not getting married in the first place. No one should get married, if they're not feeling it, 110%. That lady's situation was STUPID. She screwed up, and had no business petitioning a visa in the first place. But that horse was already out of the barn. At least she didn't compound the drama by getting married anyways.

I gotta appreciate the absurdity of platitudes about fly's [sic] and vinegar, and God based religions and love from the OP who dropped the nonsense you did from your very first post, and random nonsense about MENA culture and socio norms. Applause.

And anyone calling you out on your BS is just a big meanie, who needs to get a life. Awesome coming from someone spewing what you have, just awesome. I'll take being a non candy coated realist over being someone trying to spread ####### all over anyone married to a moroccan because you chose a loser.

You can come here and talk about how you were wronged, and how sad it is this didn't all work out for you. Very few people will criticize that. But leave other people out of your own individual messes.

[alicia98981 128]

So in other words, you are giving ROSESARERED the okay to just blow some smoke up a few people xxxxx here and expect those of us who have been here years prior to you, to just agree with some racists ####### about Muslims. And yes, Muslims, she spoke about this with a woman married to a Nigerian not someone from Iran. You can call me one of those posters if you want, or better yet, you can look at her first four words and determine if she was talking about your spouse or fiancé since he lives in morocco. ITS ALL IMMIGRANTS. I take too much pride in my husband and his family and friends for some two bit person come on here and say such non sense which she knows it is, she was obviously trying to ruffle some feathers, which she did. Mine anyways...

Quote from ROSESARERED....

Seriously Its all immigrants. I am going thru this with a man from morocco I married. He was so sweet and such a nice guy in morocco and when here for the first few years but the more comfortable he became and the more he got used to the freedoms here in the states, I think he went crazy with lust and things. Almost like a kid that finally was out from his parents house. I don't even think he knew the "real him" and maybe eventually he will settle down and feel bad for what he has done and put me thru etc...maybe not..but its such a risk when you marry someone from a culture that is strickt about the affection in public, the way sex is considered wrong if you are not married etc. They still have sex they just have to hide it, buy it or from what I have been told, it is common for men to have sex with each other because it does not seem as bad to them as sex with a woman not your wife. I have even heard that girls will have ####### sex and not vaginal because they wont risk being found out (losing virginity) so even though these things seem strange here, it is accepted although shunned there. So when men (women too maybe) get here they realize "hey I can do this now!" and the little demons come out of them and unfortunately hurt others

So in other words, you are giving ROSESARERED the okay to just blow some smoke up a few people xxxxx here and expect those of us who have been here years prior to you, to just agree with some racists ####### about Muslims.

Don't take what I said twist it. If you're going to quote me, at least understand what I said to her, which you clearly didn't.

It's unfair to those of us who do the right thing or are generally good people.. . .I suggest you continue to talk about your relationship and the flags that you saw and may or may not have ignored that led to the demise of it. The one thing I would suggest you be weary of as other posters have suggested, however, is generalizing all MENA men and women in one box. Granted your original post was information given to you by another individual that you reposted, try to separate your personal feelings and experiences from what the man told you when you discuss your posts so to keep the two from intertwining. In truth, deep down I think if there are some genuine flags to our relationships, most individuals choose to ignore them in hopes that the feeling at the back of their head will go away or they can fix it.. . I think you should speak on your relationship without referring to the background so that it leaves neutral territory. Talk about the things that you saw that backup you statement. Talk about the good and the bad. Not just what he did, but what you did as well - the good and the bad. A person from China, a EU, or even New Zealand can do the same thing just as much as a MENA individual. . .

You can call me one of those posters if you want, or better yet, you can look at her first four words and determine if she was talking about your spouse or fiancé since he lives in morocco. ITS ALL IMMIGRANTS.

Once again,

The one thing I would suggest you be weary of as other posters have suggested, however, is generalizing all MENA men and women in one box.

I didn't call out anyone in particular so if you feel that way, well you know what they say: A hit dog will holler. Like I said, you can disagree with someone without attacking them or their character just as I did above. You being on here years gives you no more common sense and decent logic than the next person that's been on here 5 seconds. I think it's foolishness people think that being on here for x amount of time give you more credibility and thought processing than someone else. Why do some people wear their time on Visa Journey like a badge of honor as if that makes their opinion the end all be all? Given time on here means you may have more experience navigating immigration and thereafter, but each relationship is an individual one and the success of your relationship makes you no more credibility about discussing your own personal experiences than that of an individual failed relationship. I've seen too many post of women (and a few men) discussing failed relationships and what went wrong and people who've been on here for years straight up drag them for discussing their personal feelings on their individual relationship, and ridicule them for not getting it right. Some people slip through the cracks, so why should she discuss her personal experience provided that she isn't generalizing a whole group of people? She said this is how I feel based on my experience and what some else told me and I and other posters said, don't make sweeping notions about a group of people on that alone. That simple.

Edited January 27, 2014 by alicia98981

[ShirahBet 42]

I sort of want to ring a gong and have everyone take their corners, get some water, and maybe put their mouth-guards back in for the next round.

[Peace.... 281]

I sort of want to ring a gong and have everyone take their corners, get some water, and maybe put their mouth-guards back in for the next round.

Okay let me go get a drink of water, and put my dog collar on. Back in a few

[alicia98981 128]

I sort of want to ring a gong and have everyone take their corners, get some water, and maybe put their mouth-guards back in for the next round.

LOL yes a good run sounds good lol . . .

[Peace.... 281]

A hit dog will holler.

Yep, I'll bite. I don't care if I've been here fifteen years or one month, I'm gonna take offense to any woman or man that comes on here disputing men from MENA screw each other and hide it, and then the women have ####### sex so they can still be a virgin and hide it from their families. Why don't you ask your moroccan soon to be spouse how he feels about that. I'm sure, he would probably be sickening and probably pissed off especially someone who knows anything about Islam and their beliefs. If more women understood Islam before they married into it, maybe more marriages would work.

[alicia98981 128]

A hit dog will holler.

Yep, I'll bite. I don't care if I've been here fifteen years or one month, I'm gonna take offense to any woman or man that comes on here disputing men from MENA screw each other and hide it, and then the women have ####### sex so they can still be a virgin and hide it from their families. Why don't you ask your moroccan soon to be spouse how he feels about that. I'm sure, he would probably be sickening and probably pissed off especially someone who knows anything about Islam and their beliefs. If more women understood Islam before they married into it, maybe more marriages would work.

I have to agree with you on that one and if it's one thing I can say about of MENA loved ones, we definitely have to do a lot of defending. But in truth, it was actually my fiancee who told me these things himself with exception of the man-man experience. I know it's ugly stuff we don't like to hear but I have been told similar things about sex in morocco by my fiancee. . .

[ShirahBet 42]

I'm not sure anyone is defending those comments made by the OP. I think the OP is coming across as jilted and emotional and seems to be swinging punches in as many different directions as possible without hitting the target. And for the failed marriage, I truly feel badly for her.

I'm still unclear as to how the OP and the other thread about the USC thinking her fiance is too clingy now that he's here and wanting to take pictures with her all the time have anything to do with each other. Again, grasping at straws, throwing un-landed windmill type punches. As are the comments about ####### and it being better to have sex with men than with another woman... man, that's just plain ignorance.

Anyone who thinks that women and men aren't having premarital sex in Morocco is seriously deluded. Culturally, is it the norm? No, but it's still happening. People aren't as repressed as we think they are. Does that mean that her husband wasn't sexually repressed? Man, only she can answer that. But holy hell, for a person to pick up and move across the world and to not expect that there will be some massive culture shock (even if they have been here before) means there's a serious distortion in thought process.

[Boiler 45,467]

The first one to mention Camels loses.

[ShirahBet 42]

The first one to mention Camels loses.

I think you just did!

[Peace.... 281]

But see Alicia there is a difference, your not coming here and calling out MENA men and women and whatever they choose to do in their own personal life or decisions in morocco. On the other hand, she made it apart of her conversation for others to read on a immigration website.

I have known my husband since 2008, not one time during any conversation, has he spoken of such, and if it did happen in his own country, he is not one to speak about such things.

I'm not upset with her about her divorce, but I'm more focused on her other comments.