A Moroccan man just gave me some advice...you may not like it tho....

[Crossed_fingers 128]

I have doubts because I read the stories on here about lying spouses while searching for other topics. none of you can lie and say It hasn't crossed your mind or find its way at the back of your head at least once, especially when everyone around you is telling you you're a fool for marrying some one from a foreign country. If it's one place i thought i could go without criticism or judgement, it's here. Marriage is a big life change and I don't want to just jump into it with our being absolutely certain I'm making a good decision, particularly since im marrying someone from a country of high fraud. Furthermore my fiance expressed interest in joining the air force so that he could start working right away, its easy work and why not serve the country he's going to make his new home? The judgement and negativity of the people who are supposed to be supporting others of the same experience, meeting and marrying someone from a foreign country, is really sad and makes question whether its worth anyone's time participating in these forums. . . .

Fwiw, my advice is to hold off on immigration until you've explored and resolved your feeling of doubt or paranoia. Many of us here are married to and petitioned for citizens of high fraud countries, and IMHO it is *not* a given that you have doubts about the validity of your relationship. I don't think that's a natural state of mind for everyone going through the immigration process, and it shouldn't be.

[Darnell 8,478]

Rosesarered - I love the advice the man gave to you !

[alicia98981 128]

Fwiw, my advice is to hold off on immigration until you've explored and resolved your feeling of doubt or paranoia. Many of us here are married to and petitioned for citizens of high fraud countries, and IMHO it is *not* a given that you have doubts about the validity of your relationship. I don't think that's a natural state of mind for everyone going through the immigration process, and it shouldn't be

I agree actually. I expressed my concerns to my fiancee earlier today and we have actually decided to hold off on immigration until I'm more comfortable with our relationship. I want to be 100% sure I'm not making a serious mistake.
. .

Edited January 9, 2014 by alicia98981

[alicia98981 128]

those were great points mentioned by the way. . .

Edited January 9, 2014 by alicia98981

[Rosesarered 11]

Thanks Darnell ....ummmmm some people are kindof mean when their trying to help others...or at least I think there trying to help

[Rosesarered 11]

Fwiw, my advice is to hold off on immigration until you've explored and resolved your feeling of doubt or paranoia. Many of us here are married to and petitioned for citizens of high fraud countries, and IMHO it is *not* a given that you have doubts about the validity of your relationship. I don't think that's a natural state of mind for everyone going through the immigration process, and it shouldn't be

I agree actually. I expressed my concerns to my fiancee earlier today and we have actually decided to hold off on immigration until I'm more comfortable with our relationship. I want to be 100% sure I'm not making a serious mistake.

. .

Alicia have you stayed with him or visited him in Morocco at all yet? I did not read anything about your journey to know.

[alicia98981 128]

Thanks Darnell ....ummmmm some people are kindof mean when their trying to help others...or at least I think there trying to help

Agreed. It's one thing if you say I disagree and here's why and this is what I think you should do. It's totally different when people take a comment then go straight for something ugly or mean to say. If you can't be polite, then don't say anything.

[Cathi 5,746]

This website serves a bigger purpose for a lot of people in international relationships than just visa stuff, and that's great. But time after time there's just so much cart before the horse. K-1 visas are not trial offers. A) because, they aren't. And B) because, especially in high fraud countries like Morocco, they are extremely difficult to acquire when people are approaching them like they're trial offers. As it should be. It's actually probably not hard enough though, considering. People with paranoia or doubts or questions about the intentions of their MENA fiancé are not even remotely close to be even starting to think about anything to do with visas and immigration. That has got to be addressed before anything else, IMHO. People often get so wrapped up in all the visa stuff, which is so stressful anyways, that they're in no position to be scrutinizing relationship stuff adequately, clearly, and fairly. And while that's an ongoing process, in any relationship, the time and place for addressing the bulk of it is so very, very far before thinking about immigration. Much less having those concerns about a guy who is chomping at the bit to get over here already, abandon his lifelong citizenship and loyalties to the country of his birth and pledge military allegiance to a whole new place he's never even visited before, let alone lived in. I'm sorry, that just sounds flipping crazy. But what the heII do I know, high horsed wife of foreigner that I am...

Truer words have never been spoken. If you are questioning your fiance/spouse's motives then you suspect something is wrong. Why even bring someone here if you have doubts? Marriage and immigration is nothing to be toyed with, it's serious business.Coming to the US and joining the Air Force because you think it will be an easy job is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, there isn't one single simple thing about serving in the armed forces.

[alicia98981 128]

Alicia have you stayed with him or visited him in Morocco at all yet? I did not read anything about your journey to know.

yes I have been going back and forth to morocco for two years for work related trips as well as my own personal trips. The longest I have stayed with him is one month. That was the month he proposed during Eid while we were visiting his family.

[alicia98981 128]

Truer words have never been spoken. If you are questioning your fiance/spouse's motives then you suspect something is wrong. Why even bring someone here if you have doubts? Marriage and immigration is nothing to be toyed with, it's serious business.Coming to the US and joining the Air Force because you think it will be an easy job is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, there isn't one single simple thing about serving in the armed forces.

That is true. We have decided to postpone immigration until I feel more comfortable. We have been seeing each other for about 2 years and with every one around me questioning our reason for marrying, it is starting to get to me to me as well. As for the military comment, I felt as though you were attacking and criticizing relationship. It was his idea to join and he wants to do it because it is what I do and what he is interested in. Let me clarify. The military is easy aside from deployments and family separations. If you go to work, do your job and follow instructions, it is an easy job. They provide you for the most part with almost everything you need to be successful. Furthermore it is relatively easy to join and is almost a guaranteed job versus trolling the weak job marker as a new green card holder. I hope that clarifies things. I've been in the service for nearly 10 years and with all due respect ma'am, until you've done it you wouldn't understand why I say that. I stand by my comment that it is easy job - with reservations of course

Edited January 9, 2014 by alicia98981

[Cathi 5,746]

when you get in the military and you make that life style commitment then you come and talk to me about what is easy and hard. It is easy. Sign up, do your job, follow the rules, too easy.

When you have 3 nephews who serve actively in 2 different breaches of the military, YOU come talk to me. It is NOT easy by any stretch of the imagination. Since when is being deployed on the front lines " easy"? And being away from family and friends for months, sometimes years at a time? You are totally delusional if you think it's easy. Are you for real? It isn't merely signing up and doing a job. I would love for any veteran to come in here and read what you have to say. I'm actually quite disgusted with you. Being naive about your fiancé and the immigration process isn't the only thing you have going for you. It always blows my mind that someone would come to an immigration site for relationship advice. Dont people have family, friends? The maturity and IQ levels of some people are questionable. Edited January 9, 2014 by mimolicious

[alicia98981 128]

When you have 3 nephews who serve actively in 2 different breaches of the military, YOU come talk to me. It is NOT easy by any stretch of the imagination. Since when is being deployed on the front lines " easy"? And being away from family and friends for months, sometimes years at a time? You are totally delusional if you think it's easy. Are you for real? It isn't merely signing up and doing a job. I would love for any veteran to come in here and read what you have to say. I'm actually quite disgusted with you. Being naive about your fiancé and the immigration process isn't the only thing you have going for you. It always blows my mind that someone would come to an immigration site for relationship advice. Dont people have family, friends? The maturity and IQ levels of some people are questionable.

Lady you should go back the original comment posted. I asked to be directed to the posts referred not relationship advice. Second I said when, YOU serve, you can come can come and talk to me. Not cousin, not your uncles and aunties, not your nieces and nephews, not your neighbor Bob, your best girl Sally, but YOU. I have been in the service 9 years. That's 9 longer than you have even thought about raising your hand and ever uttering an oath and commitment and you have audacity sit behind a computer screen and tell me about something I have given my time and service to? News Flash: every individual in the military is not currently on a tour of duty. We do have peace time, and we do have to serve our current duty stations. Your lack of reading comprehension failed you in understanding "easy, but with reservations". If your nephews or anyone else of whatever branch in the service find it difficult to do their job, i.e showing up for work on time in the proper uniform, ready to do your job, complete tasks as assigned by your leadership, and ensuring you follow the instructions given by your leadership outside of a deployment, which less than 15% of all military personnel are currently on, then they probably need to be looking at retiring. So what if I have reservations about marrying a foreigner. It doesn't mean we don't love and care for each other, but it also means that I'm not totally stupid and very much aware of fraud and ulterior motives. Ever heard of a prenup? That thing people to get protect themselves if their marriage fails? Well guess what? It doesn't mean I doubt my fiance, but I damn sure wanna make sure I'm not making a mistake either. Been around the military my entire life as an army brat, having two parents, and a host of family members, and some random tells me she knows about how hard a military life is because 3 people she never gave birth to do it. You married your husband, he turned out to be a great guy. Congratulations, despite this foolishness you're displaying, I am genuinely happy you found love and it has been kind to you. But you have the nerve to walk around with your nose in the air like those of us who want the same thing are fools for thinking things through. You may know immigration better, but lets getting something straight. You don't know everything and my relationships and the military are two places of knowledge you lack severely. Don't respond. I have nothing else to say to you, I'm too old to be going back and forth with ignorant people with nothing to contribute but judgement. Save yourself the trouble. You'll only look whiny, nitpicky, and eagered for the last word. If your only reason for joining this forum is to pick apart individuals and their relationships, you are a lost cause. I admired your previous comments on other posts but clearly I misjudged you and your the worth of your comments. Good day to you ma'am, your presence is no longer acknowledged.

Edited January 9, 2014 by alicia98981

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

When you have 3 nephews who serve actively in 2 different breaches of the military, YOU come talk to me. It is NOT easy by any stretch of the imagination. Since when is being deployed on the front lines " easy"? And being away from family and friends for months, sometimes years at a time? You are totally delusional if you think it's easy. Are you for real? It isn't merely signing up and doing a job. I would love for any veteran to come in here and read what you have to say. I'm actually quite disgusted with you. Being naive about your fiancé and the immigration process isn't the only thing you have going for you. It always blows my mind that someone would come to an immigration site for relationship advice. Dont people have family, friends? The maturity and IQ levels of some people are questionable.

She says she's in the Chair Force. I mean Air Force. FWIW, there are some mighty cushy MOS's in that branch. Especially when you compare it to other branches of service. I know a girl in the Air Force whose only job is swiping ID cards at a security gate all day. She didn't even pass their version of "basic training" but they are holding onto her until her contract runs out. You just have to put up with the fundamentalist Christians and mandatory "prayer" meetings. Also I'm not really clear on what sort of job in the Air Force requires traveling around for short periods of time to countries. It's not a deployment. Even for an officer that's strange. But what do I know as a Marine brat.

Alicia, Mimo has been on these forums a while now. I've read them for a while before joining. I think you are getting hung up on the wrong things. You are totally free to marry whoever you want. That's not a guarantee they can come live in the US or that your marriage will work long term. There are a lot members on this site whose marriages ended up failing. I can't quantify it because there isn't really hard data, but it's a lot of people. Probably the majority. Visiting someone on and off, even a couple years, isn't usually enough time to get a real sense of what it will be like to live with them full time. I have been with my fiance, both living together and apart for nearly 7 years. We didn't decide to get married until about 2 years ago. He could have stayed in the US on OPT or we could have gotten married after graduation but we weren't ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I kick myself about that sometimes, since our visa journey has been nothing but hell from the beginning. But I am glad we spent more time considering everything even though the separation is unbearable, given that the odds are rather stacked against all of us. Something to think about.

[alicia98981 128]

She says she's in the Chair Force. I mean Air Force. FWIW, there are some mighty cushy MOS's in that branch. Especially when you compare it to other branches of service. I know a girl in the Air Force whose only job is swiping ID cards at a security gate all day. She didn't even pass their version of "basic training" but they are holding onto her until her contract runs out. You just have to put up with the fundamentalist Christians and mandatory "prayer" meetings. Also I'm not really clear on what sort of job in the Air Force requires traveling around for short periods of time to countries. It's not a deployment. Even for an officer that's strange. But what do I know as a Marine brat.

Alicia, Mimo has been on these forums a while now. I've read them for a while before joining. I think you are getting hung up on the wrong things. You are totally free to marry whoever you want. That's not a guarantee they can come live in the US or that your marriage will work long term. There are a lot members on this site whose marriages ended up failing. I can't quantify it because there isn't really hard data, but it's a lot of people. Probably the majority. Visiting someone on and off, even a couple years, isn't usually enough time to get a real sense of what it will be like to live with them full time. I have been with my fiance, both living together and apart for nearly 7 years. We didn't decide to get married until about 2 years ago. He could have stayed in the US on OPT or we could have gotten married after graduation but we weren't ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I kick myself about that sometimes, since our visa journey has been nothing but hell from the beginning. But I am glad we spent more time considering everything even though the separation is unbearable, given that the odds are rather stacked against all of us. Something to think about.

Well for one, I haven't stated the branch of service or position I work in because it's irrelevant to the discussion. Second, my fiance and I have decided to postpone marriage until I'm more comfortable with it. If I can't listen to the criticism from family and friends without harboring some of the doubt projected, then I, for myself need more time. I'm sure there is a lot of great immigration information coming from some individuals who have been on the forum a lot longer. However, I also believe there is a way that constructive criticism can be given without being rude or nasty to other individuals posting on the forum. Reading a lot of the comments, the good and bad, have made me more comfortable about pausing because I want to be sure and 100% ready for my one and only marriage when it does happen.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

I, as an Air Force veteran take offense to your words "Chair Force". You really know nothing

of what a military person either man or woman will go through to serve their country. Saying you

are a Marine brat should make you smarter and wiser to what you went through as a dependent.

I too was a military Army brat and very proud of my father's service, grandfather's service, uncles

service, my brother's service and also my twin sister's Air Force service! You have no right to

say the Air Force has "some mighty cushy jobs". Where are you coming up with all of this nonsense?

We as military service personnel serve and have served our country and until you serve please

don't bash my service in the Air Force.

Thank you.

She says she's in the Chair Force. I mean Air Force. FWIW, there are some mighty cushy MOS's in that branch. Especially when you compare it to other branches of service. I know a girl in the Air Force whose only job is swiping ID cards at a security gate all day. She didn't even pass their version of "basic training" but they are holding onto her until her contract runs out. You just have to put up with the fundamentalist Christians and mandatory "prayer" meetings. Also I'm not really clear on what sort of job in the Air Force requires traveling around for short periods of time to countries. It's not a deployment. Even for an officer that's strange. But what do I know as a Marine brat.

Alicia, Mimo has been on these forums a while now. I've read them for a while before joining. I think you are getting hung up on the wrong things. You are totally free to marry whoever you want. That's not a guarantee they can come live in the US or that your marriage will work long term. There are a lot members on this site whose marriages ended up failing. I can't quantify it because there isn't really hard data, but it's a lot of people. Probably the majority. Visiting someone on and off, even a couple years, isn't usually enough time to get a real sense of what it will be like to live with them full time. I have been with my fiance, both living together and apart for nearly 7 years. We didn't decide to get married until about 2 years ago. He could have stayed in the US on OPT or we could have gotten married after graduation but we weren't ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I kick myself about that sometimes, since our visa journey has been nothing but hell from the beginning. But I am glad we spent more time considering everything even though the separation is unbearable, given that the odds are rather stacked against all of us. Something to think about.