Annoyed with rude responses on VJ

[canusa920 11]

Hey all,

Just needed to vent... Lately I've asked a few questions (which I didn't think were THAT stupid) and I get snotty, and sarcastic replies... I believe this website is here to H-E-L-P people through immigration. Just because you aren't a "Newbie" on VJ doesn't mean you somehow have the ability to treat people like they are lower than you. If you can't respond with a nice, polite response - don't respond at all??? We're all here and in this together, there is absolutely no need to be rude to anyone on here...

Rant done.

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from General Immigration-Related Discussion to Site-Related Discussion.

OP, if you feel a post is in violation of the Terms of Service, click the report button and the Moderation Team will review it.

[PearlyLemons 13]

Hi Katy

I haven't read any of your posts or replies, but just wanted to assure you that most VJ members mean well and want to help others . Some people give very short, straight and blunt answers, whilst others give detailed and thoughtful answers. I think sometimes 'newbies' ( I dislike that term..) don't necessarily read the stickies or guides stuff that answer basic questions and queries people have about visa processes. I'm not at all suggesting that you have or haven't read the guides, but I think this is why sometimes members get frustrated with 'newbies' and it comes across in their replies to posts. Try not to take things personally. There are some members here who I do not agree with and who I feel are a little harsh in their responses, but there are some members who have been so helpful with my own visa journey ( I won't call them out as they may not want to be identified, however, I will say they are members who have ties with the U.K). Perhaps you could buddy up with Canadians? I think also, some users have English as a second language and their tone doesn't always translate well over the internet. Come to think of it, I don't think tone translates well over the internet sometimes, regardless of languages spoken!

Good luck with your journey.

[twin810s 23]

I'm agreeing with PearlyLemons - there are some grumpys on here, but the majority are very nice and helpful. Just don't take anything personally and ignore the grumps.

[christeen 966]

On any public internment forum there are good helpful people, crabs, total wackos and rude people... It is what you get when using the INTERNET to ask questions... For the price that we pay for VJ, we have to act as a filter for ourselves... There are ignore buttons and mods who try to weed out the useless or mean responses... But ultimately, it is up,to each person to filter what they feel is useful to,them. Because of anonymity, the Internet is a sometimes harsh and rude place, so people need to buck up a d deal with it or play elsewhere or pay so done to do the paperwork and treat them nicely... Sometimes the blunt answers are the best, especially whe. Hearing things we don't want to hear... Rip the bandaid off right? Luckily most here are willing to help... Good luck

[Shiobhan 235]

Yep I notice some angry folks in the last few weeks

I even mentioned it in a post but its the net and it seem

a few of the rude ones have migrated from another site

that spews only hate, lets not dignify some of these comments

just use the ignore buttons , that's exactly what I do, no lawyers

or legislators are here, so happy new improved year everyone

[Ontarkie 14,226]

~~Two post removed one for dragging another removed post from another thread here and one post for not contributing to the topic. ~~

Quoted part of one post return as it contributes to the thread

Dave&Roza

Posted Today, 04:23 PM
What is really annoying is when you try to correct an incorrect response in a, hopefully, polite manner while trying to provide additional information and you get something like this because they took your reply the wrong way:



You start to wonder if the time you take to help others is worth it. Maybe it is time for a short break from VJ and see if things cool down.

Good luck to all,

Dave

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

Sometimes people perceive something to be rude, even if the person posting had no rude intentions or thoughts when responding. It is just plain text with no facial expressions to read or tones of voice to hear. Just because a response is straightforward, short, to the point or blunt does not necessarily mean it was rude. Not all responses will be candy coated, or seem overly upbeat. I know I am guilty of that. I am rather blunt in nature in person as well. There is no ill-will behind it though.

If you truly feel someone was being downright rude/hateful to you, then report it to the mods for review.

[gwenstar 66]

.Perhaps you could buddy up with Canadians? I think also, some users have English as a second language and their tone doesn't always translate well over the internet. Come to think of it, I don't think tone translates well over the internet sometimes, regardless of languages spoken!

Good luck with your journey.

Everything you said in your whole post!

And yes, buddy up with Canadians seems like there are much friendlier posts on the Canadian portal. It may not get as many responses, but they seem to tend towards being very helpful. My husband is Canadian so I keep track of that portal.

Also HI - I am not going through the K1 process but if there is anything I can do to be helpful, just let me know.

[Zedayn 485]

Sometimes people perceive something to be rude, even if the person posting had no rude intentions or thoughts when responding. It is just plain text with no facial expressions to read or tones of voice to hear. Just because a response is straightforward, short, to the point or blunt does not necessarily mean it was rude. Not all responses will be candy coated, or seem overly upbeat. I know I am guilty of that. I am rather blunt in nature in person as well. There is no ill-will behind it though.

If you truly feel someone was being downright rude/hateful to you, then report it to the mods for review.

I couldn't agree more with this. Things that are written can be taken so many different ways, depending on the tone in which you read it. Sometimes the responses are just really blunt and straight to the point, doesn't mean they are rude. The rude posts are the ones that are harassing to you or other members, and these are the ones you need to report so they can be dealt with.

[canusa920 11]

Holy responses!

I took a short break from VJ just so I wouldn't get annoyed by the "rude" responses I was receiving. Thanks for all the support, I too think it's hard to get what emotion comes out of an online post...Overall this website has been nothing but helpful, with a few minor grumps who think they know it all!

I may take up on the "Canadian" posts, I know us Canadians are typically a friendly bunch .

Hopefully I won't have any rude responses from here forward, if I do - I'll do my best to kill it with kindness!

Peace everyone

[canusa920 11]

~~Two post removed one for dragging another removed post from another thread here and one post for not contributing to the topic. ~~

Quoted part of one post return as it contributes to the thread

I have never taken a correction to a reply the wrong way, I was mostly discussing juvenille, rude, unneeded sarcasm on questions which I thought were okay to ask...I always accept criticism if I am ever wrong, I am no expert on law at all.

Everything you said in your whole post!

And yes, buddy up with Canadians seems like there are much friendlier posts on the Canadian portal. It may not get as many responses, but they seem to tend towards being very helpful. My husband is Canadian so I keep track of that portal.

Also HI - I am not going through the K1 process but if there is anything I can do to be helpful, just let me know.

Hello fellow Canadians, love to see you guys on here!!!

I miss poutine!

[christeen 966]

But sometimes the grumpy ones have very accurate information and/or the experience to really give an informed advice... You have to sometimes overlook the delivery and focus on the content...

[Ontarkie 14,226]

I have never taken a correction to a reply the wrong way, I was mostly discussing juvenille, rude, unneeded sarcasm on questions which I thought were okay to ask...I always accept criticism if I am ever wrong, I am no expert on law at all.

That post removed was not directed at you, it was another thread mixed into here.

[Used to be broken 147]

Here is my take on this after using Vj for several years

Impatience with the process fosters grumpiness in almost everyone at some point.

A little more in-depth analysis of different visa categories seems to shed light on what appeared to be

rudeness in the forums.

Based on many of the comments, It seemed to me that there is a category of applicant for VISA's .. that feel entitled to recieve thier VISA because

they feel superior in either educational or moral attributes to other applicants.

Another observation on attitudes if you will is toward I601 forum and any other applicant/ poster that is in need of a waiver of any sort.

the posts in reply to these folks are often very rude and condescending. A mini vent here this one struck me personally as most offensive

to see a 3-4th generation US Citizen in a long term marriage with waiver "issues" being cut to shreds by someone who met thier spouse on line 3 months ago

claim moral high ground and tossing snide comments.

The waiver forum consequently has never really developed on this site and most often rather than answer questions and work on forum development

in this area , the posters are encouraged to jump ship and go to I2US.net . This always baffeled me even some of the people who appear to work

or volunteer on this site seem to encourage waiver cases to leave the forum and go elsewhere for answers.

Another area of rudeness is the "newbies" who jump in complaining they have been waiting for a couple weeks.. and sound annoyed

to seasoned VJ users who have been waiting patiently for a long time this rubs the wrong way...

many newbies come on the board and rather as suggested above than read the guides and become "socially aware" of the forum they are posting in, just spam the board with nonsense and eventually someone pops out rude comments.