To USCs & non-USCs alike: How did you learn to drive in suburban America?

[hobbit 10]

I bet if she takes lessons from a driving instructor she can get her license before October.

I am 30 years old and never had been behind a wheel before coming to America either - due to a great public transport system back in my home country, there simply had never been a need for a driver's license. Here in America, I found myself in suburban Oklahoma, where I could not even get to work without a car. I am generally a pretty nervous person (even if I don't show it much), and I was concerned about similar things that you mentioned. Also, my husband wanted me to learn driving a stick-shift in the first place, but I just did not seem to be able to get the shifting down, and I was worried that I would not be able to keep track of the traffic while being so preoccupied with the shifting. So I decided that I was going to go with an automatic, which made things a lot easier for me.

I also took classes with a driving school. Yes, it seems like a lot of money (my driving school was $380.00), but it is well spent. I believe it helped me indefinitely with my driving. I first spent a couple of hours in a classroom, then had six hours of actual driving practice. My driving instructors were great and really helped me focus on what is important while driving. They gave me a lot of confidence too.

Fast forward, after I had received my EAD, I got my Learner Permit and started driving with either my husband or my father-in-law. My FIL was a really great instructor, very calm and patient. My husband was a good teacher too, but sometimes would make me nervous by not telling me information completely or early enough (e.g., when I had to turn right, he would sometimes not tell me until I was like 5 yards from the intersection and in the wrong lane). Of course he did not mean to do it, but yeah - it would not boost my confidence.

Your husband honestly sounds like a terrible teacher, so I would really try to save up the money for a driving school, or maybe get the help from someone else (family/friends etc.) Other than that, just practice, practice, practice.

I got my DL in October. So will you.

According to HK12's timeline, she started driving after getting her EAD, which would have been in May, so if I'm not mistaken, she managed to get her DL in less than six months! I am hoping to be able to drive myself, accident-free, to my grad school by next Fall. It involves the I-10 and a whole lot of other roads on which I need to drive defensively. So the DL is really not just the end-goal...but it's a start. I'm glad HK12 shared that she's also a nervous person, sometimes I wonder if I'm psychologically capable of handling a potentially lethal machine, but if millions of Americans can do it, I can too!

[hobbit 10]

hobbit? how chinese are you ? Usually there are some old Uncles hanging out at the Chinese Community Center that would be more than happy to teach you, for a reduced fee or some home-cooked food.

Course, you gots to find the Chinese Community Center, make some new friends, first.

Not very Chinese at all! The only Chinese Cultural Center in AZ is in downtown Phoenix, which is 30 minutes away, and obviously inaccessible since I cannot drive yet.

[HK12 273]

I bet if she takes lessons from a driving instructor she can get her license before October.

Huh? The "So will you" was meant as "OP will get a DL", not that it will take her until October.

[HK12 273]

According to HK12's timeline, she started driving after getting her EAD, which would have been in May, so if I'm not mistaken, she managed to get her DL in less than six months! I am hoping to be able to drive myself, accident-free, to my grad school by next Fall. It involves the I-10 and a whole lot of other roads on which I need to drive defensively. So the DL is really not just the end-goal...but it's a start. I'm glad HK12 shared that she's also a nervous person, sometimes I wonder if I'm psychologically capable of handling a potentially lethal machine, but if millions of Americans can do it, I can too!

Yes, I got my Learner Permit in June and took my driving test in October. So about four months start to finish, even though I think I was ready for the driving test after about 2.5 months (I am such a procrastinator when it comes to testing/exam situations). You will do fine!

[Operator 1,927]

Protect your relationship, hire a professional instructor.

[kzielu 1,149]

Hello everyone,

I'm posting this, because I managed to receive my learner's permit a few weeks ago and have been practicing over the last few days with my husband. Without going into detail, my 'lessons' have not been going well and I am wondering if I will ever progress and get a license. We live in the suburbs, and I know that I have to learn because I want to have that mobility not just for ferrying myself to school, but in case of an emergency etc. I am already 24 going on 25, and I know that teens in the US learn to drive at 16 upwards, so I know that I have a lot of catching up to do.

If you're wondering, I've never learnt to drive because I was raised in a very urban environment. I am the first in my family to even handle an automobile. If you can relate to my situation and have any advice and/or stories of inspiration, please share!

Best,

Hobbit

Think about this way - anybody pretty much can drive. If they could learn, you surely can too. Be positive, keep practicing. Driving in suburban America is about the easiest place to drive in the whole world (not trying to make you feel bad about it), cities are much tougher. If you feel like you're not going anywhere, get driving lessons. There people have practice in teaching and lots of patience - they're paid to do that.

[hobbit 10]

Yes, I got my Learner Permit in June and took my driving test in October. So about four months start to finish, even though I think I was ready for the driving test after about 2.5 months (I am such a procrastinator when it comes to testing/exam situations). You will do fine!

Thanks HK12 for your encouragement! You mentioned you spent some hours in the classroom- was that for the learner's permit? The driving schools I've called only have behind-the-wheel instruction for learners. Would that suffice?

[spookyturtle 9,466]

Huh? The "So will you" was meant as "OP will get a DL", not that it will take her until October.

Obviously. My post was intended to be humorous.

[Kajikit 65]

Hobbit, nobody is going to learn to drive in two hours! It takes a ton of time and practice, no matter WHO is teaching you - the 'learn to drive in 6 hours' classes assume that you have somebody in your family or friends to take you out to practice every day in between sessions. It's totally natural to be intimidated when you get behind the wheel for the first time, but you'll get there!

No, I don't have a license, I never actually managed to get one (long story, mostly involving crippling performance anxiety when it came to 'test day' - it's difficult to drive and follow instructions when you're shaking like a leaf). Of course, I've forgotten everything I ever learned by now, but for the year I was taking lessons and practicing, I could drive just fine. The only vehicle I drive nowadays is the electric scooter in the grocery store... but that was a learning process too. The first time I sat on one I was pretty terrified that I'd crash into everything and everyone, and a year later I've mastered the three-point-turn in a grocery aisle and steering backwards in a straight line to pick up an item I overshot, which is a lot harder than it sounds without a rear view mirror!

BTW, I could NOT drive with my mother in the car... she took me out ONCE and we had a screaming fight. My father had a lot more patience with me. It sounds like your husband somehow expects you to learn to drive by osmosis, and it doesn't work that way... you need somebody else to practice with who won't criticise you.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Kajikit

[hobbit 10]

Hobbit, nobody is going to learn to drive in two hours! It takes a ton of time and practice, no matter WHO is teaching you - the 'learn to drive in 6 hours' classes assume that you have somebody in your family or friends to take you out to practice every day in between sessions. It's totally natural to be intimidated when you get behind the wheel for the first time, but you'll get there!

No, I don't have a license, I never actually managed to get one (long story, mostly involving crippling performance anxiety when it came to 'test day' - it's difficult to drive and follow instructions when you're shaking like a leaf). Of course, I've forgotten everything I ever learned by now, but for the year I was taking lessons and practicing, I could drive just fine. The only vehicle I drive nowadays is the electric scooter in the grocery store... but that was a learning process too. The first time I sat on one I was pretty terrified that I'd crash into everything and everyone, and a year later I've mastered the three-point-turn in a grocery aisle and steering backwards in a straight line to pick up an item I overshot, which is a lot harder than it sounds without a rear view mirror!

BTW, I could NOT drive with my mother in the car... she took me out ONCE and we had a screaming fight. My father had a lot more patience with me. It sounds like your husband somehow expects you to learn to drive by osmosis, and it doesn't work that way... you need somebody else to practice with who won't criticise you.

Kajikit, osmosis is a apt description! I have told my husband that the way he instructs is poor- the very first time I was at the wheel in his car, we were behind a strip mall and facing a dumpster 10 feet from us. He only informed me of which were the brake and gas pedals, and to only use my right foot...and that was it, he was like, "Let's go!" He ended up steering from the passenger seat because I had absolutely no idea of the intricacies involved in executing the steps, and was just really, really tense. He accuses me of misconstruing what he says ("I said to give it gas as you come out of the turn, not when you make the turn") and that I don't pay attention. I just am not quick to process whatever he is yelling about because I am busy driving!

He has told me that he successfully taught both of his sons to drive (and he yelled at them too) and that compared to them, I just don't have the mechanical aptitude. Never mind that they both wreck their first cars! The way I see it, it shouldn't matter if I am too skittish to drive closer to the sidewalk where kids are pedaling on their tricycles, just because it's not "perfect driving". As long as nothing bad happens, that's all that matters, right?

[spookyturtle 9,466]

Take lessons from a professional if you want to learn to drive.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Learned in Calgary, and extrapolated to the US -- simple!

[hobbit 10]

So my husband will head back to Singapore on business for 3 weeks, and his sister has graciously demanded that I stay with her during that time. She's also agreed to being the de facto driving instructor before I actually sign up with a driving school. My husband and I are back to normal now that we've stopped all lessons!

[Darnell 8,478]

oh.

[NickD 203]

Some problems with my wife, did a lot of driving in Caracas with maniacs and no speed limits. Then trying to teach hand over hand steering in a car that only required a 30 degree turn in the city for the average turn. And keeping both hands on the wheel at all times.

Stepdaughter never drove before, but had access to my local airport for a deserted spot to get the feel of the car. But did have an older car without a center console so I could sit next to her. Then to county empty roads, then to the city. Trying to teach a new person to drive with a center console is like taking your life in your own hands. This was all preliminary, her high school had a vehicle with dual controls.

Then also dealing with the USCIS, you have to be extra careful about not getting any parking or traffic violation tickets.

When her automatic transmission car I gave to her wasn't worth repairing anymore, had a nice manual transmission car to give to her. Since her mom driven a manual transmission car, suggested she try to teach her. Ha, that was a bad mistake between a mom and a teenage daughter. So took her out myself, not too technical, but after a half an hour, she got the basics done right, requires a clam and nice voice.

So can appreciate what you are saying with your husband. Not everyone can teach. Would suggest learning from a trained instructor and in a vehicle with dual controls, and one with a clam voice.