To USCs & non-USCs alike: How did you learn to drive in suburban America?

[hobbit 10]

Hello everyone,

I'm posting this, because I managed to receive my learner's permit a few weeks ago and have been practicing over the last few days with my husband. Without going into detail, my 'lessons' have not been going well and I am wondering if I will ever progress and get a license. We live in the suburbs, and I know that I have to learn because I want to have that mobility not just for ferrying myself to school, but in case of an emergency etc. I am already 24 going on 25, and I know that teens in the US learn to drive at 16 upwards, so I know that I have a lot of catching up to do.

If you're wondering, I've never learnt to drive because I was raised in a very urban environment. I am the first in my family to even handle an automobile. If you can relate to my situation and have any advice and/or stories of inspiration, please share!

Best,

Hobbit

[Teddy B 17,252]

What types of problems with driving are you having?

Perhaps lessons from a professional driving school would help?

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I got my first driving license from US while working here in 2005. (Never drive in Singapore before at all)

My co-worker basically taught me how to drive, using the company rented car

There were some anxieties about how to handle the car acceleration, parallel parking at first.

(I only know how to drive automatic transmission car, far easier than manual one)

After a few weeks, I was driving on the highways already, with co-worker siting beside me (passenger seat).

And I passed my driving license in my first try.

My another co-worker wasn't so lucky, he failed 3 times and had to go to driving school to take lessons.

If you are not comfortable with your husband as instructor (maybe he could be too blunt, too strict in teaching instructions), then I advise you to go to driving school for lessons.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I learned as soon as I could reach the pedals of the tractor , followed by the field car ( something no longer road worthy that was used to get to further pastures. ) When I hit driving age the only issues was parking.

[hobbit 10]

What types of problems with driving are you having?

Perhaps lessons from a professional driving school would help?

Well, I have had less than two hours' worth of instruction over the last two years from my husband. We've only taken the car out within our estate and that of a large parking lot belonging to a church. My problems are:

-oversteering/understeering the wheel to make a turn

-fear of accelerating upon seeing children on sidewalks

-unable to remain on the right side of the road after making a turn, thus needing to correct

-not knowing when to press on the gas pedal versus the brake when entering, making and exiting a turn (if you're worried, I do know NOT to press on the gas pedal and the brake at the same time)

My concern is that with my inability to gain the coordination needed to maneuver the car, I am unsure if I will ever be able to progress to drive on freeways and so on (when I will actually have to handle heavy traffic around me). I am considering a driving school, but those near me only offer a total of six hours' worth of instruction which will cost around USD 300. I don't have a lot of savings right now, which is why I'm holding back on that.

Edited January 2, 2014 by hobbit

[hobbit 10]

I got my first driving license from US while working here in 2005. (Never drive in Singapore before at all)

My co-worker basically taught me how to drive, using the company rented car

There were some anxieties about how to handle the car acceleration, parallel parking at first.

(I only know how to drive automatic transmission car, far easier than manual one)

After a few weeks, I was driving on the highways already, with co-worker siting beside me (passenger seat).

And I passed my driving license in my first try.

My another co-worker wasn't so lucky, he failed 3 times and had to go to driving school to take lessons.

If you are not comfortable with your husband as instructor (maybe he could be too blunt, too strict in teaching instructions), then I advise you to go to driving school for lessons.

Thanks for sharing your story! I suppose your co-worker was really understanding and patient. I need an instructor like that! Did you have any issues steering? I have problems managing my perceptions on how little/how much to turn the wheel. I can never get it just right.

[Teddy B 17,252]

Well, I have had less than two hours' worth of instruction over the last two years from my husband. We've only taken the car out within our estate and that of a large parking lot belonging to a church. My problems are:

-oversteering/understeering the wheel to make a turn

-fear of accelerating upon seeing children on sidewalks

-unable to remain on the right side of the road after making a turn, thus needing to correct

My concern is that with my inability to even grasp the basics of maneuvering the car, I am unsure if I will ever be able to progress to drive on freeways and so on. I am considering a driving school, but those near me only offer a total of six hours' worth of instruction which will cost around USD 300. I don't have a lot of savings right now, which is why I'm holding back on that.

It sounds like some lessons would help you greatly. $50 per hour isn't bad. It may be just what you need.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Thanks for sharing your story! I suppose your co-worker was really understanding and patient. I need an instructor like that! Did you have any issues steering? I have problems managing my perceptions on how little/how much to turn the wheel. I can never get it just right.

I am lucky that my husband is not the one teaching me how to drive.. he is way too critical.

I always feel stressful while driving with him, he is constantly nagging at my driving skills while I am perfectly fine driving when on my own.

First time driving a car, I was not able to drive the car straight because somehow I felt that the car was not within the lane.

So I had to keep steering the wheel left and right to stay within the lane.

I was also stepping on the gas pedal too much.. didn't slow down while turning that the car went up a curb (luckily no damage).

I think you need constant driving practices to build up your confidence, become familiar/comfortable with steering the wheels, and reduce hesitation about when to go fast or slow.

Start with driving around your neighborhood, large parking lots few times a week, or even daily (Take your husband for a 15min spin after he comes home from work?) . Practice makes perfect.

[hobbit 10]

I am lucky that my husband is not the one teaching me how to drive.. he is way too critical.

I always feel stressful while driving with him, he is constantly nagging at my driving skills while I am perfectly fine driving when on my own.

First time driving a car, I was not able to drive the car straight because somehow I felt that the car was not within the lane.

So I had to keep steering the wheel left and right to stay within the lane.

I was also stepping on the gas pedal too much.. didn't slow down while turning that the car went up a curb (luckily no damage).

I think you need constant driving practices to build up your confidence, become familiar/comfortable with steering the wheels, and reduce hesitation about when to go fast or slow.

Start with driving around your neighborhood, large parking lots few times a week, or even daily (Take your husband for a 15min spin after he comes home from work?) . Practice makes perfect.

My husband does say that "in spite of all the f***-ups, you're improving", but that's not very comforting! I am already anxious behind the wheel and him yelling at me doesn't help me retain any information. At the same time while I'm driving, I also have to respond to his questions lest he repeats it till he gets an answer ("Where the f*** are you going????!!!!", "What the hell was that????!!!!") and the negativity is terribly overwhelming. He would probably say that I'm too sensitive, but I cannot help feeling like a disappointment already. I don't expect him to treat me with kid gloves, but I just don't feel like I want to continue driving with him. Even the lady who answered the phone at the driving school said she could sense that, just by listening to me.

I agree with you that practice makes perfect, which is why I have no intentions of giving up!

Edited January 2, 2014 by hobbit

[spookyturtle 9,466]

You need a professional driving instructor who is trained to teach people to drive, not your husband who is going to criticize you and have no patience for your errors while you learn. All that does is ruin your confidence. A professional instructor will give you confidence. You'll learn much better when you get away from your husbands poor teaching methods.

[Darnell 8,479]

I too echo the practicality of having sessions with a licensed instructor. Takes out a lot of silliness, IMO.

However, if money is an issue, I strongly suggest hiring TWO teenagers, to be in the car at the same time, who recently GRADUATED from their license or driving class.

[hobbit 10]

I too echo the practicality of having sessions with a licensed instructor. Takes out a lot of silliness, IMO.

However, if money is an issue, I strongly suggest hiring TWO teenagers, to be in the car at the same time, who recently GRADUATED from their license or driving class.

Here in AZ, the law stipulates that the person who occupies the seat next to the permit holder must be above 21 years of age, and of course, licensed to drive. I am contemplating sticking a note by the communal mailbox asking if any neighbors will be interested to teach...I wonder what HOA will think of that! I don't know any of our neighbors very well, and my husband sure doesn't like the idea of me broadcasting the fact that I can't drive. He even told me not to tell his sister that I failed the learner's permit test the first time (I passed on the second attempt). I wonder it's his male ego, although he'd never admit it!

[HK12 273]

I am 30 years old and never had been behind a wheel before coming to America either - due to a great public transport system back in my home country, there simply had never been a need for a driver's license. Here in America, I found myself in suburban Oklahoma, where I could not even get to work without a car. I am generally a pretty nervous person (even if I don't show it much), and I was concerned about similar things that you mentioned. Also, my husband wanted me to learn driving a stick-shift in the first place, but I just did not seem to be able to get the shifting down, and I was worried that I would not be able to keep track of the traffic while being so preoccupied with the shifting. So I decided that I was going to go with an automatic, which made things a lot easier for me.

I also took classes with a driving school. Yes, it seems like a lot of money (my driving school was $380.00), but it is well spent. I believe it helped me indefinitely with my driving. I first spent a couple of hours in a classroom, then had six hours of actual driving practice. My driving instructors were great and really helped me focus on what is important while driving. They gave me a lot of confidence too.

Fast forward, after I had received my EAD, I got my Learner Permit and started driving with either my husband or my father-in-law. My FIL was a really great instructor, very calm and patient. My husband was a good teacher too, but sometimes would make me nervous by not telling me information completely or early enough (e.g., when I had to turn right, he would sometimes not tell me until I was like 5 yards from the intersection and in the wrong lane). Of course he did not mean to do it, but yeah - it would not boost my confidence.

Your husband honestly sounds like a terrible teacher, so I would really try to save up the money for a driving school, or maybe get the help from someone else (family/friends etc.) Other than that, just practice, practice, practice.

I got my DL in October. So will you.

Edited January 3, 2014 by HK12

[Darnell 8,479]

hobbit? how chinese are you ? Usually there are some old Uncles hanging out at the Chinese Community Center that would be more than happy to teach you, for a reduced fee or some home-cooked food.

Course, you gots to find the Chinese Community Center, make some new friends, first.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I got my DL in October. So will you.

I bet if she takes lessons from a driving instructor she can get her license before October.