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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

TEN WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE HEALTHY AND HAPPY

The following thoughts will help keep you focused on developing a healthy, happy marriage:

1. Commit "till death do us part" —you have made a vow to God and to another much-loved human being. [Editor's note from Marriage Missions: Make the vow with each other not to let the word "divorce" be a part of your vocabulary or even your inner thoughts or it will start eroding away at your marital relationship.]

• Dream together—look forward to things.

• Be loyal to your mate at all costs.

• Care more about what your mate thinks of you than what your friends do.

2. Develop a common spiritual commitment.

• Pray for your mate regularly.

• Pray together regularly.

• Worship together

3. Want what is best for your lifemate.

• Focus on what's right with your mate, not what's wrong with him/her.

• Work as a team—rely on each other's strength.

• Serve your mate.

4. Spend time with model couples who have been happily married ten to twenty years longer than you.

• Develop a relationship with a personal mentor to help you when times are tough, giving you wise counsel.

• Spend time with peer couples that have healthy, happy marriages.

5. Understand that no marriage is perfect and no partner is perfect. Give grace to be different.• No one wants to fail. Your mate is doing the best he/she can at the moment.

• Don't take all emotional explosions personally. Sometimes your mate just needs to let off steam!

• Let the relationship breathe. A couple needs time together and away. When things get tense, you may just need a few hours or days away.

6. Find time to communicate—walking on the beach, telephoning, traveling together.

• Communicating your heart:

—Listen to your mate's heart, not just to words.

—Let your mate vent emotions without feeling you have to "fix it"!

• Settling differences:

—Don't pout; stay and talk it out.

—"Clarify" your concerns if you don't like to "confront."

—Listen carefully. Allow the other to complete his/her thoughts without you interrupting, moving off the subject, or waiting impatiently to make your point.

7. Develop common interests.

• Enjoy hobbies and friends.

• Do fun things together—concerts, plays, picnics.

• Travel together whenever you get a chance.

8. Get to know your mate at the deepest level possible.• Study your mate—what turns her/him off and on sexually, nonverbal signals, foreplay, moods, cycles, etc.

• Know precisely what your mate needs from you.

9. Avoid:• Negative kidding—saying negative things you don't really mean that secretly hurt and do serious damage to one's confidence and one's natural love;

• Conditional love—basing love on actions of any kind;

• Waiting for your mate to meet your needs before you will meet hers/his;

• Talking negatively about your mate's parents.

10. Be romantic, not just sexy.• Splurge occasionally.

• Do small things which communicate "Thinking only of you… Thought of you while I was away… You are the center of my universe!"

• Talk with a loving, caring, tender tone in your voice, not an angry, harsh, bitter tone.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL VJ FRIENDS....

ARCH & CEL

AOS JOURNEY

2007-05-07 (PM) Married

2007-05-09 AOS package sent

2007-05-10 AOS delivered to Chicago IL (day 1)

2007-05-15 NOA (not rcved in the mail) (day 6)

2007-06-01 Biometrics Notice in the Mail (day 23)

2007-06-27 Biometrics (day 49)

2007-06-20 Interview Notice Issued (day 42)

2007-06-23 Interview Notice in the Mail (day 45)

2007-08-10 Interview 10:00 am Sn Francisco (day 93) Approved

2007-08-21 Greencard received

Removal of Condition

2009-06-19 - sent

2009-06-25 - received

2009-06-26 - cheque cash

2009-07-17 - notice date

2009-08-14 - Biomentrics

2009-09-08 - Approved

2009-09-08 - 09-15 Card production ordered (email)(day 82)

2009-09-17 - Approval notice sent (email)

2009-09-19 - 10 year greencard received (w/wrong information)

2009-09-21 - I-90 sent

2009-11-04 - Card Production Order

2009-11-09 - Approval Notice received

2009-11-10 - Touched

1009-11-14 - Replacement 10 years greencard received (55 days)from filing expired 11/09/2019

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted

I think from both view points in a sense, ok ask the guys reading this do you feel same or have other tips

TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

Posted (edited)

The reason I said these are women's perspectives is because all these 'ways' are based on emotions...clearly men have more realistic views of life and not based on emotional excitements manifest in words like 'dream together', 'sprititual commitment', 'model couples' and $hit like that.

All these are female constructs.. because there are no model couples, nothing like spiritual commitment and dreaming together. Fantasy island.

Males (normal ones, not the gay) understand actual constructs like:

1.Make me breakfast

2.Watch football with me

3.Help me locate my socks in the morning

stuff like that is more real.

Edited by matako
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Peru
Timeline
Posted

Ignoring Matako once again.....

If more people put forth the effort to even at least partially abide by these guidelines, the freakin' divorce rate wouldn't be so out of control!

Good words. Wise.

Thank you for sharing.

ONE DAY AT A TIME....

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS

12/30/2008: Overnighted I-751 package to VSC

01/06/2009: Check cashed

01/06/2009: NOA (arrived 01/09/09)

01/23/2009: Biometrics appt letter received

01/31/2009: Biometrics scheduled

05/20/2009: APPROVED

06/23/2009: 10 Year Green Card arrived

Filed: Timeline
Posted

Not that I'm bragging, but D and I do all those things (L) He is awesome.

Speaking as someone who left a marriage before, I could never imagine leaving David. My mindset is different....we are ment to be and no matter what, our relationship is not a disposable one. In this day and age you always hear about couples splitting up, but that's never going to happen for us. It's where we were meant to be...and we will crush every obstacle and get thru every problem together.

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Posted

Divorce happens because women try to enforce their rules like these ones just listed by some woman, on men.

The ideal marriages will remain to be between women among themselves because they can use rules like these among themselves. Women need to put effort in understanding men instead of driving their emotional rules and views of the world on men.

THAT is the secret to bringing down the divorce rate.

Ignoring Matako once again.....

If more people put forth the effort to even at least partially abide by these guidelines, the freakin' divorce rate wouldn't be so out of control!

Good words. Wise.

Thank you for sharing.

Posted

Never say never. Even the closest couples that thought they had a match made in heaven have divorced...you are just peaking on your graph of time against love intensity and as we know, all graphs have a maximum and minimum point. Stay calm and hope for the best.

Not that I'm bragging, but D and I do all those things (L) He is awesome.

Speaking as someone who left a marriage before, I could never imagine leaving David. My mindset is different....we are ment to be and no matter what, our relationship is not a disposable one. In this day and age you always hear about couples splitting up, but that's never going to happen for us. It's where we were meant to be...and we will crush every obstacle and get thru every problem together.

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)
Never say never. Even the closest couples that thought they had a match made in heaven have divorced...you are just peaking on your graph of time against love intensity and as we know, all graphs have a maximum and minimum point. Stay calm and hope for the best.
Not that I'm bragging, but D and I do all those things (L) He is awesome.

Speaking as someone who left a marriage before, I could never imagine leaving David. My mindset is different....we are ment to be and no matter what, our relationship is not a disposable one. In this day and age you always hear about couples splitting up, but that's never going to happen for us. It's where we were meant to be...and we will crush every obstacle and get thru every problem together.

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Nah, it's all about mindset imo. My first marriage...there was a deffo mindset in me like 'hey I'll leave' and I did. It's about changing your expectations. It's understanding the TRUE meaning of commitment...not selective commitment until your partner does summat that you don't agree with so you ** off. I will say never because that's the level of commitment we have given to each other and that's how I choose to look at our relationship. It won't always be fun and nice, and it'll be hard and sh!tty sometimes....but it will be because we say so.

And D and I are coming up to 7 years, and believe you me, we've seen our share of sh!t...and we're still here...and stronger than ever.

I also think the secret is knowing your partner and accepting that person for who he/she is. Obviously for you, Matako, your partner should realize you're not the hearts-and-flowers type of guy :)

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Maybe it's the Mimi effect? lol

Lol, maybe....she's such a cutie....she kissed my hand last night and let me rub her belly for EVER.

Edited by LisaD
Posted

You know yourself, but does your man feel the same thing you say on here? Divorce is caused by either one or both parties, not just the woman. Obviously you are the one who broke off the last one,maybe next will be the other way around.

Never say never. Even the closest couples that thought they had a match made in heaven have divorced...you are just peaking on your graph of time against love intensity and as we know, all graphs have a maximum and minimum point. Stay calm and hope for the best.
Not that I'm bragging, but D and I do all those things (L) He is awesome.

Speaking as someone who left a marriage before, I could never imagine leaving David. My mindset is different....we are ment to be and no matter what, our relationship is not a disposable one. In this day and age you always hear about couples splitting up, but that's never going to happen for us. It's where we were meant to be...and we will crush every obstacle and get thru every problem together.

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Nah, it's all about mindset imo. My first marriage...there was a deffo mindset in me like 'hey I'll leave' and I did. It's about changing your expectations. It's understanding the TRUE meaning of commitment...not selective commitment until your partner does summat that you don't agree with so you ** off. I will say never because that's the level of commitment we have given to each other and that's how I choose to look at our relationship. It won't always be fun and nice, and it'll be hard and sh!tty sometimes....but it will be because we say so.

And D and I are coming up to 7 years, and believe you me, we've seen our share of sh!t...and we're still here...and stronger than ever.

I also think the secret is knowing your partner and accepting that person for who he/she is. Obviously for you, Matako, your partner should realize you're not the hearts-and-flowers type of guy :)

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Maybe it's the Mimi effect? lol

Lol, maybe....she's such a cutie....she kissed my hand last night and let me rub her belly for EVER.

Posted
You know yourself, but does your man feel the same thing you say on here? Divorce is caused by either one or both parties, not just the woman. Obviously you are the one who broke off the last one,maybe next will be the other way around.
Never say never. Even the closest couples that thought they had a match made in heaven have divorced...you are just peaking on your graph of time against love intensity and as we know, all graphs have a maximum and minimum point. Stay calm and hope for the best.
Not that I'm bragging, but D and I do all those things (L) He is awesome.

Speaking as someone who left a marriage before, I could never imagine leaving David. My mindset is different....we are ment to be and no matter what, our relationship is not a disposable one. In this day and age you always hear about couples splitting up, but that's never going to happen for us. It's where we were meant to be...and we will crush every obstacle and get thru every problem together.

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Nah, it's all about mindset imo. My first marriage...there was a deffo mindset in me like 'hey I'll leave' and I did. It's about changing your expectations. It's understanding the TRUE meaning of commitment...not selective commitment until your partner does summat that you don't agree with so you ** off. I will say never because that's the level of commitment we have given to each other and that's how I choose to look at our relationship. It won't always be fun and nice, and it'll be hard and sh!tty sometimes....but it will be because we say so.

And D and I are coming up to 7 years, and believe you me, we've seen our share of sh!t...and we're still here...and stronger than ever.

I also think the secret is knowing your partner and accepting that person for who he/she is. Obviously for you, Matako, your partner should realize you're not the hearts-and-flowers type of guy :)

Man, I'm so damn emo today. #######?

:lol:

Maybe it's the Mimi effect? lol

Lol, maybe....she's such a cutie....she kissed my hand last night and let me rub her belly for EVER.

The trollslayer is back lol. :D

Citizenship

Event Date

Service Center : California Service Center

CIS Office : San Francisco CA

Date Filed : 2008-06-11

NOA Date : 2008-06-18

Bio. Appt. : 2008-07-08

Citizenship Interview

USCIS San Francisco Field Office

Wednesday, September 10,2008

Time 2:35PM

Filed: Timeline
Posted
You know yourself, but does your man feel the same thing you say on here? Divorce is caused by either one or both parties, not just the woman. Obviously you are the one who broke off the last one,maybe next will be the other way around.

He is the one who taught me the value of not cutting-and-running, forgiveness, true love, and commitment. It was thru his love that I've grown into the woman I am who believes what I do. And he's cut & run in the past as well....so I'd say there is no maybe about it.

______________

I love you Boo....thank you for being you! Merry Christmas! (L)

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted

Are u for real? u only need someone to cook, clean and watch your sports if so hire a housekeep and find a dog to sit with u, that will take away from the routine of trying to enjoy someone else

TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

 

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