How to leave my K1 Visa husband who just joined the army

[raven52 233]

There is alot of this, about the military that I am not sue of.

But, I am sure YOU should file for divorce """TOMORROW""".,., DO NOT LET HIM LEAN ON YOU, FOR ANY KIND OF A ""BASE"" LIKE HE IS MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.

Also, if you contact the military authorities, thye will give you all you and your kids what you deserve from the military.

PLEASE, do not let this man back in your life, never ever, for no reason!

Let him worry about getting his green card (10) year on his own...,.,..and you can file for divorce with a good attorney, and give him all the info. and he will, lower the ""boom"" on him.,.,.and it will NOT be good for his "record" with the charges YOU can bring aganist him.,.,.,..!

Please, do not wait one more day.,..,he will have to most likely pay for the divorce, since you have no fault, in the situation!

Keep us informed..,,.,.feel for you! email me at jbmassey1111@gmail.com if you need good advise about a divorce....., weent through one a few years ago....,but your state laws will have alot to say about this! No. 1.,...,.,,DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!

[arise 3]

Hi Ms. Lisa,

Good day! Since you need more advice, here is what I feel. I think you just have to MOVE ON with your life. Divorce him and no worry of his immigration stuff, it is now his problem. Don't ever reconcile with him so that you will not be more frustrated. You know who he is. In most cases, the character of a person does not change except if he humble himself to God. If he gives any financial support to the kids, that would be better. But never expect anything from him.

Get your life going by working hard to support your kids and try your best to give them love and care. The kids are your inspirations and if you brought them up well, they will become your assets. It's all that matters now, you and your kids.

I understand how you feel being angry with him, but please STOP IT -- don't ever think of any revenge. It will not prosper you, instead, will lead you nowhere. Remember you also have your mistakes here. It takes two to tango. There were so many red flags even before you got married and having kids. A cheater will continue to cheat for a lifetime without repentance and fear of God.

Love yourself and kids. Always pray for God's guidance and provisions. In the end you will be fine. God will make a way for you and the kids. Just be positive and live life happily. God bless.

i really appreciate your advice, you spoke my mind. she should just move on and not seek any revenge.

[Misha'sgirl 44]

Are you serious? How ignorant and mean is this statement. Why would she want to give her children away for adoption, simply because their father is a jerk. You don't make any sense. I find your comment to be rather offensive and it doesn't contribute anything positive.

I was appalled when I read this person's comment about giving the children up for adoption. Honestly, when I read other comments coming from this person, I don't find them to be of positivity and intelligence. Yes, quite offensive!

Why hasn't anyone mentioned that she could apply for child support and he has to pay?

Here's some websites you might find helpful.. http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Parents-Support.shtml

This website http://travel.state.gov/passport/ppi/family/family_863.html says "If you owe $2,500 or more in child support, you are not eligible to receive a U.S. passport." I don't know how much child support is for each child in the state you live in...but you could find out here: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/css/resource/state-and-tribal-child-support-agency-contacts

[Misha'sgirl 44]

i really appreciate your advice, you spoke my mind. she should just move on and not seek any revenge.

Seeking revenge is one thing. Trying to Acheive Justice is an entirely different thing. She should move on. But she cannot move on completely without justice.

Go about it as respectable and professional as possible. There are plenty of programs, agencies, even churches in the United States very willing to help you and your situation. I am not going to preach to you like some have, but I will say... God loves you and your kids. And I'll leave you with two inspiring verses... "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." AND "Delight yourself *also in the LORD; and he shall give you the desires of your heart."

[belinda63 3,022]

Child support would only come into play when she is divorced. Until she is in court for the divorce process she is only entitled to BAH (basic allowance for housing). She needs to file for divorce ASAP and I am not sure why she hasn't already.

[InHisTime 110]

i really appreciate your advice, you spoke my mind. she should just move on and not seek any revenge.

Thank you, arise Yes, I believe moving on completely without revenge is the best thing to do. Seeking justice is good and worth trying, but sometimes we may not achieve here on earth as there may be reasons beyond our control. In this light, it is best to lean on to our savior as He knows best. In the eyes of God, there is sure justice.

I too experienced similar trouble in the past. I moved on completely and never expect any financial help from my ex. I believe that a true man should know his responsibilities without pressure or demand. I accepted everything and just tried working hard to support and love my kids. And now they are great and loving children which any Mom may wish to have. They are my assets and inspirations. Our lives are much better, comfortable and happier. God is awesome. He is the ultimate way to achieve peace, love, joy and prosperity. Amen.

Edited December 26, 2013 by InHisTime

[MabuhayDaniel 11]

Divorce or not is your decision.....but soldiers are required by Army regulation to provide for their dependents. Army right? I would recommed you contact the nearest Army Community Service (programs designed to support Soldier Families) and speak with the Family Advocacy Program manager or case worker. These are the people on the inside that know what you can get and how to force the hand of the company commder to make it happen. How do i know? Once upon a time in the not so distant past this was my job. Google the nearest military installation to you. Contact the Family Support services, in the Army the correct title is Army Community Services and speak with the FAmily Advocacy office. They will help you.....as long as you have your ducks in a row and as long as you keep it honest with them. If they suspect you are pulling strings to get something you are not entitled to, then you will be shut out. Circumstances are different for each family so I won't go into telling you what you are entitled to, the Army personnel will do that. They will also be able to provide you with the other resources that are availabe to families in your/similar situations. best of luck.

[Misha'sgirl 44]

Child support would only come into play when she is divorced. Until she is in court for the divorce process she is only entitled to BAH (basic allowance for housing). She needs to file for divorce ASAP and I am not sure why she hasn't already.

YES, I know. When I suggested the child support option, I thought it was needless to say she would need a divorce, but appearently some like to state the obvious. :D

[Misha'sgirl 44]

Thank you, arise Yes, I believe moving on completely without revenge is the best thing to do. Seeking justice is good and worth trying, but sometimes we may not achieve here on earth as there may be reasons beyond our control. In this light, it is best to lean on to our savior as He knows best. In the eyes of God, there is sure justice.

I too experienced similar trouble in the past. I moved on completely and never expect any financial help from my ex. I believe that a true man should know his responsibilities without pressure or demand. I accepted everything and just tried working hard to support and love my kids. And now they are great and loving children which any Mom may wish to have. They are my assets and inspirations. Our lives are much better, comfortable and happier. God is awesome. He is the ultimate way to achieve peace, love, joy and prosperity. Amen.

Oh I am sure he knows his responsibilities. But, he is a coward.

[kssette 30]

Child support would only come into play when she is divorced. Until she is in court for the divorce process she is only entitled to BAH (basic allowance for housing). She needs to file for divorce ASAP and I am not sure why she hasn't already.

GI's only get housing allowance if they live off base. Most men that don't have their families with them don't live off the base they are stationed at. What he is collecting for having a wife and children is a dependents allowance. Unless the mililtary has changed tremendously since I went through a similar ordeal, going to your local attorney and court does not get much done. You will have to start pressuring the military. Go back and read my first post on this.

I hope for you and your children that I am wrong. I hope the military has changed their policies but they use to protect the men from wives who wanted divorces and child support. Good luck to you.

[sparkles_ 456]

Hate it for you but he will naturalize based on military service nothing else. That was an executive order given by Pres. Bush around 9/11 and is still in effect. It only takes completing BCT to get it. However if he doesn't finish his term he could have it revoked, the nat. cert. is almost pending if you will, since it requires completion of his first term with either re enlistment or honorable discharge. My ex did that.

You are entitled to the BAH unless he is already holed up in family housing on base. If that is the case you need him evicted from it since the dependent rate is for dependents only. If you haven't filed divorce or separation you are stuck and can only request him pay and maybe crawl his CO to make him pay. You must have a legal separation document or divorce to see him back in the barracks and giving housing to you. Once divorce is done that is done as well, only child support.

I would say this as a former army spouse. Call the chaplain. He will be your magic for getting your money for your kids and be the link between you and the unit. Let go of any ideas of fraud because it is past that point and move on. He will naturalize based off of the army and that is crappy but true. Know he can't dodge child support or even alimony in the military either as per UCMJ. Move on from this and best wishes.

[sparkles_ 456]

And in the military, support is a huge deal now. Missing 3 payments starts an involuntary allotment from DFAS.

[Shiobhan 235]

You report him to the police

get his name in their system,

have them remove him from

the house, stay in therapy, make

up your mind not to let his lazy

outt sweet talk his way back

into your life, its not fair to mom,

you press charges, under uscis

law he's and aggravated felon,

don't mess with him causing you

to become pregnant, file for a

divorce, CUT ties with his sorry

family, focus on school and be

around friends, don't sign no more

paper-work in his favor, that's how

you leave a man who will beat you

for the rest of your life if you allow

him to, or give him the Madea

treatment the next time he puts his

hand on you, where are you from

don't you know about boiled grits?

Edited December 26, 2013 by Jihana

[howtosurvive 43]

Write his command station because when he joined being married ur signature and Id was required on the financial statement and his he falsify ur signature to join her will be in hot water with the military including imprisonment. Do u know where he is station? Go to ur local child support center give them his social in an attempt to get child support they will find him for u and if u don't want child support u drop it and get intouch with his command. The basic housing allowance is only for married E1-E4 so u and ur kids are the reason he's getting it and he should support y'all. Feel free to pm me. Good luck

[andy ngeci 18]

Be glad that he joined the military coz that's very easy for govt to track him . First report this to Uscis and am sure if they find him guilty he is definitely getting depoted back to Kenya!