How to leave my K1 Visa husband who just joined the army

[lisa ati 0]

Hi,

I am new to this page but I have been having alot of questions and seem not to get answers from anyone. I am going to keep it as short as I can. I dated my husband after high school in Kenya of which I moved to U.S coz my dad got a green card and I left him in Kenya, only to realize after 2 months in the U.S that I was pregnant with his son, story short I lost the child at 20wks we were communicating well and he promised to Marry me(at the time I was 20yrs in 2003). We lost contact for a while. Flash foward 8 yrs later we reconnected when we started communicating he kept telling me how he wanted us to have a family n how he was almost 30yrs old and has no kids so we discussed him coming to U.S and I went to visit him in Kenya for 3 wks, when I was there it seemed ok at first but something didnt seem right so when I came bck to U.S i decided to end the relationship since I found out he was sleeping with alot of women. 2 months later i found out I was pregnant with his child so I tried to make it work since everyone wanted to know who the father of the baby was, he finally came to U.S in Nov of 2011, less than 2 weeks after he got hea he was already cheating on me, within 2 more months I found out he was cheating with more than 10 women and when I confronted the women the women said that my husband told them that he was with me just to get green card, he kinda changed for a few months around the same time we got our second child, only to find out after our son was born that he had been still cheating on me, going around telling pple i know that I forced him to marry him and our 2 kids are not his and told me one day that he doesn't have life becoz all he does is work and take care of his kids, I had to take kids to daycare with my own money while he sits at home chattin wit women on comp whenever he wasn't working, he kinda had a feeling I was not going to renew his green card after 2 yrs (coming up in Aug 2014) so he joined the army, he doesn't care abt me or his kids, he just graduated from the army a few weeks ago and he doesn't give me a dime for the kids, the only thing he pays is $150/week for one of the kids daycare and doesn't know what they eat, if they need clothes etc. I am tied of him and I may sound mean but I pray that he dies in the army and I will not shed a single tear, I will not even attend his funeral, thats how I hate him for wasting my life when I couldn'v been happier alone or with someone else, My question is can he still get citizenship from joining the army even though I am not planning to renew his green card after the 2yrs(Aug 2014)?...Sorry abt the lenght I tried to shorten as much as I can, I would really appreciate helpful comments.

Thanks.

[milimelo 4,418]

Since he already has a green card, nothing you can do about it - he can remove conditions on his own but you're still on the hook for repayment of any means-tested benefits he uses. That all would stop once he is a USC, has 40 credits of work, you die, he dies or leaves country. Divorce would not take away from your responsibilities as his primary affidavit of support sponsor.

You can notify USCIS of your suspicion that he married you for a green card by sending in a letter with his A#, your testimony of what you've witnessed, found out or gone through and asking them to include it in his A# file. No guarantees that anything would be done or you even notified that they're looking into it, but you'd have some sense of closure I guess.

What you can do is write to his commanding officer as based on his married status he receives BAH (Basic housing allowance) which is supposed to help your family out. http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bah.cfm

I'd think you can also report him for infidelity as per UCMJ he's supposed to be a well-behaved and model soldier.

Edited December 25, 2013 by milimelo

[Ontarkie 14,143]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Case Filing and Progress Reports - As a more appropriate forum~~

[belinda63 3,022]

1. You are entitled to his housing allowance for him being married and in the military. If he is a low rank such as E-1 you might be better off just taking the $150 per week as it is probably more than his housing allowance per month.

2. There are paths to citizenship by being a member of the US military. The issue he will have is if he doesn't renew his green card he can't remain in the military. He can divorce and apply for a waiver to remove conditions.

I suggest you divorce him and move on with your life.

[lisa ati 0]

Thanks so much guys am trying to get as much advice as I can, I meant to add that I found out a year after we had been together that he had a child with another woman, this child is about 4 months apart with my 1st child, I don't know how many more he has out there but I would rather live with a devil that live with this man, he is probably the devil who was in the garden of eden. Sorry I am very bitter.. About the Housing allowance I need to c how I can get that since even paying the $150/week for childcare I have to literally beg for it. Thanks alot

[Darnell 8,478]

My question is can he still get citizenship from joining the army even though I am not planning to renew his green card after the 2yrs(Aug 2014)?.

YES.

What's keeping you divorcing him and putting up the kids for adoption with a state agency ?

[belinda63 3,022]

You would contact legal services at the post he is stationed at for advice. You can also contact his First Sergent or Commander. It is a requirement that he pays you the housing allowance. You and the children are also entitled to military ID cards and benefits.

[InHisTime 110]

Thanks so much guys am trying to get as much advice as I can, I meant to add that I found out a year after we had been together that he had a child with another woman, this child is about 4 months apart with my 1st child, I don't know how many more he has out there but I would rather live with a devil that live with this man, he is probably the devil who was in the garden of eden. Sorry I am very bitter.. About the Housing allowance I need to c how I can get that since even paying the $150/week for childcare I have to literally beg for it. Thanks alot

Hi Ms. Lisa,

Good day! Since you need more advice, here is what I feel. I think you just have to MOVE ON with your life. Divorce him and no worry of his immigration stuff, it is now his problem. Don't ever reconcile with him so that you will not be more frustrated. You know who he is. In most cases, the character of a person does not change except if he humble himself to God. If he gives any financial support to the kids, that would be better. But never expect anything from him.

Get your life going by working hard to support your kids and try your best to give them love and care. The kids are your inspirations and if you brought them up well, they will become your assets. It's all that matters now, you and your kids.

I understand how you feel being angry with him, but please STOP IT -- don't ever think of any revenge. It will not prosper you, instead, will lead you nowhere. Remember you also have your mistakes here. It takes two to tango. There were so many red flags even before you got married and having kids. A cheater will continue to cheat for a lifetime without repentance and fear of God.

Love yourself and kids. Always pray for God's guidance and provisions. In the end you will be fine. God will make a way for you and the kids. Just be positive and live life happily. God bless.

Edited December 26, 2013 by InHisTime

[Peter_Pan 661]

It's not up to you to renew his green card. He could divorce you and get his 10 yo old one even if he werent in the army.

Sorry, lady, you woke up wayyy too late.

[Egor 13]

Yes. Unfortunately for you, there is nothing you can do now. He doesn't need a green card anymore. He can just toss it in a trash. As a US service member he can now become a citizen without a need to have a green card. He could apply for citizenship from the basic training and he guaranteed to have it within 2-3 months. My suggestion to you is to file for divorce and work closely with a lawyer. Maybe you could charge him with immigration fraud.

[kssette 30]

Wow.....here is my advice for support of your children. I grew up in the military and also had an ex-husband that was in the military. Here's the thing......not only can he get housing allowance if he lives off base but he also collects what they call dependents allowance. In other words if he has children he gets even more money each month for having a wife and dependents.

Years ago when my dad was in the military the soldiers were required to pay an allotment to their wife and if they were not married then to some member of their family.....for example their mother. By the time I was married, the soldiers still got their regular pay, dependents allowance, and housing allowance only if they lived off the base. When I split up with my ex-husband he would not help me out with our daughter and our other child I was pregnant with even though he was still collecting the money. He suddenly wanted to be free!!!

So upon my father's advice, I called the commanding general of the Fort Bragg and ask to speak to him or his aid. Of course, I got his aid and he informed me they could not forced my ex to give me money as they are now on their honor to do so. So again on my father's advice, I threatened the aid with going through congressional channels. Lo and behold, I suddenly started receiving money each month from the Army for the exact amount of the dependents allotment.

Filing with your local courts will do no good. The military protects their soldiers no matter what. You have to go straight to military. And by the way, if he doesn't want a divorce, the military will help protect him from that as well. I am speaking from experience. I grew up in the military and I married into it. Good luck to you and do what u can to take care of your children. Its not their fault their dad turned out to be a dirtbag.

[discoverusa 253]

My question is can he still get citizenship from joining the army even though I am not planning to renew his green card after the 2yrs(Aug 2014)?.

YES.

What's keeping you divorcing him and putting up the kids for adoption with a state agency ?

Are you serious? How ignorant and mean is this statement. Why would she want to give her children away for adoption, simply because their father is a jerk. You don't make any sense. I find your comment to be rather offensive and it doesn't contribute anything positive.

[Cathi 5,715]

My question is can he still get citizenship from joining the army even though I am not planning to renew his green card after the 2yrs(Aug 2014)?.

YES.

What's keeping you divorcing him and putting up the kids for adoption with a state agency ?

Why in the world would she ever want to put her children up for adoption, why would you even suggest if?????? Seriously!?!? Edited December 26, 2013 by mimolicious

[Cathi 5,715]

The best thing for you to do is to divorce him and move on. If you have proof that he married you solely for a green card you can report hi to USCIS and they will make the decision as to whether or not they will deport him. If you don't have proof there isn't much you can do, he can remove conditions on his own with a divorce waiver. Good luck.

[Dave&Roza 748]

There are two issue at work here--one you have control over and the other you do not. First, you divorce him and have the court hit him with child support for his two children. I am sure that you will need to have a DNA test performed to prove the children are his. Once divorced, make certain he is paying the court ordered support. If not, you can get him in lots of trouble with his unit. Second part of this is HIS immigration. Do not worry about it as it is HIS life. Move on and do not worry about him. At least with him being in the Army, he is accruing time towards his 40 quarters so you will not be responsible for him under the I-864 sooner rather than later.

It is best to focus on your life and the life of your two kids and not on revenge,

Good luck,

Dave