How Do You Spot The Red Flags

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I never tried to TRIP him up but as an after thought looked back prob because there was little (extra reflexion) and saw everything was as he had said and still is. I had someone here and everytime i was at work wondered what he was doing, never again. and those thoughts proved to be true You will know.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

I have a pretty good bs detector, usually with time, one can tell if someone is a liar. Anyway, the idea of trying to trip up a potential spouse is TOTALLY hilarious...hahahaha. Gave me a good laugh for the day.

[doodlebug 3]

I guess it's just the auditor in me. I mean I try to trip up clients to ascertain that they are not committing fraud....and that really has no bearing on my personal life at all other than the fact that I get paid for it. I think that making sure someone who is going to be living in my home with my children should at least be looked at with a wee bit of scrutiny. I guess if you don't care about being taken advantage of then it would seem funny but I have a lot to lose and for me, trust is earned, not just given away willy nilly.

[*julez* 124]

If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. If if does feel right, the only thing you can do is take a chance. You have to trust yourself enough to make the right decision. I don't think its right to try to "trip someone up". If you feel its necessary to do that then you should just get out of the relationship and stop wasting your time cos you obviosuly don't trust that person. Without trust there is no basis for a relationship. Good luck!

You are naive. A little healthy skeptism is a good thing. I had to earn my fiancee's trust and that doesn't bother me a bit.

I am definitely not naive. I just believe that if things don't feel right, enough to make you question the other person's intentions for you, then you should not be trying to move that relationship forward. If there are even hints of red flags you should be running in the opposite direction, as quickly as possible! Trust me Garya, I learned this the hard way! And developed a healthy amount of skepticism along the way.

[garya505 2]

If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. If if does feel right, the only thing you can do is take a chance. You have to trust yourself enough to make the right decision. I don't think its right to try to "trip someone up". If you feel its necessary to do that then you should just get out of the relationship and stop wasting your time cos you obviosuly don't trust that person. Without trust there is no basis for a relationship. Good luck!

You are naive. A little healthy skeptism is a good thing. I had to earn my fiancee's trust and that doesn't bother me a bit.

I am definitely not naive. I just believe that if things don't feel right, enough to make you question the other person's intentions for you, then you should not be trying to move that relationship forward. If there are even hints of red flags you should be running in the opposite direction, as quickly as possible! Trust me Garya, I learned this the hard way! And developed a healthy amount of skepticism along the way.

Sometimes what we think are red flags are just misunderstandings, but sometimes they are hints of something serious.

For example...

Sometimes when I call my fiancee I don't get an answer, but when I call her back a few minutes later she answers. No big deal, as I know the phone service there sometimes has problems. And, there is no pattern to this and the phone problems don't last long so I don't worry about it.

Contrast this with the next story ...

I have a friend who's fiancee didn't answer her phone sometimes. She blamed it on poor phone service. He believed her. He should have noticed that this seemed to happen mostly on her day off from work. On her day off, she would tell her friends that she was "visiting her cousins", only nobody seemed to know who these cousins were. Actually, the truth was that she had started seing an old BF again. Shortly before she got her VISA, she became pregnant by the BF and had an abortion about 2 weeks before she left for the US. The funny thing is that he recieved a tip that she had another BF but instead of checking into it he asked her and she said it wasn't true, so he believed her and married her anyway (she said she was a virgin so of course she couldn't have another BF!). Actually some of her friends suspected (or maybe knew) what was going on but didn't want to get involved, but if he had asked any of them they probably would have told him. He never asked because he trusted her. What do you think are the chances for this marriage succeeding?

Edited December 22, 2006 by garya505

[Turboguy 6]

First off, I think you said you had not met her yet. Until you meet you are just pen pals. I have made 20+ trips looking for the right woman. I have had times that I was sure I had the gal of my dreams and when we met there was absolutly nothing. You really need to go meet her if you think you may have something together. Sometimes you will find other surprises. Like the last trip I made to meet new women, I met a gal I had been writing a year. She was prettier than I expected and we had great chemistry. Unfortunately she drank like a fish. She drank the better part of 5 bottles of champagne and 3 beers the first full day together and passed out on my couch. I rarely drink so it is not the kind of person I would want to spend my life with.

Red flags. If you meet her, go where she lives. If you do not meet her friends and family before you leave forget it. If you don't have real chemistry romantically, forget it. If she is always asking you to buy her things, forget it. If she has odd hours forget it. If she gets frequent calls on her cell phone from men, forget it. If things don't ring true, forget it. If you catch her lieing. If things she says seem unbelievable. If the amounts of money she needs don't match what you expect.

I have met a lot of scammers and a lot of high maintenance women in my search and those are good things to avoid. Good luck.

['my_destiny' 0]

you will see if there is a red flags is that, speaking about the money in an early stage of your relationship. If the girl is really inlove with you, she will never mention or ask money from you. Or if she always tell you that she needs this, she needs that, her moms is sick, they need to pay for the bills etc.

There are many scammers in the internet. Some pretend to be a girl in the pictures but they are men. Some are married and only wants to have a tickets to other countries mostly USA. Some even have boyfriends or fiance already and still looking and fooling someone on the internet.

Be sure to trust your instinct. IF love is really there, she will wait for you and wants to save for your future.

[felnfrank 1]

you will see if there is a red flags is that, speaking about the money in an early stage of your relationship. If the girl is really inlove with you, she will never mention or ask money from you. Or if she always tell you that she needs this, she needs that, her moms is sick, they need to pay for the bills etc.

There are many scammers in the internet. Some pretend to be a girl in the pictures but they are men. Some are married and only wants to have a tickets to other countries mostly USA. Some even have boyfriends or fiance already and still looking and fooling someone on the internet.

Be sure to trust your instinct. IF love is really there, she will wait for you and wants to save for your future.

you said it right!

this is my experience...

my fiance always calls himself as the luckiest guy on earth for having me...indeed he is!

people who know me always tell me that Frank is such a lucky guy, for meeting a woman who is very sincere and honest. we met in january and got engaged after 3 months...money has never entered in our relationship until he insisted to let me have some of his as his present, to use the money for me to buy a new phone(i got an old one, he just didnt like the sound of it everytime we talked so i got no choice but accepted it because i didnt want him to stop calling me)... if the girl's intention is to have the love of the guy, she wont take advantage of him...he even offered me to buy a lap tap, but i declined, why? cos i won a computer set in school..others might have accepted the offer, but i didnt...

.honestly, we r both very lucky...i became lucky whe i met him...i love this guy...

he chatted a lot of girls when we made correspondence. in that way, he can compare and learn who has been honest....he realized the girls he chatted were inconsistent except me...they were asking money, pretending they were robbed, family's sick, processing a passport for a very expensive amount asked,..things like that. i even warned him for people like these when we became friends on net cos i knew, he's still searching for friends not only me...i am just honest cos it pays to be one. i thank my parents for raising me sch a beautiful lady inside and out...i have fear in God..

now we have our own property, beach house,, if there's something needed in our property, i even doubt in asking money for maintanance, even shy how to ask but he could feel it

so u must be very careful we do have bad people to make the world go round haha we have different colors, that's how the world is painted...talented people hehe

i wish u luck in meeting someone like me