Split up after an approved I-129 F petition, NEED ADVICE.

[filipinaasian 5]

Hello my fellow VJ members,

I'm posting this topic to seek experiences from different people especially from the Philippines who have experienced the same situation as me. I hope you will be kind enough to give advice and not judge me as a person. To make my story short, my ex- fiance and and I made a mutual decision not to pursue the fiancee visa after our petition got approved due to some personality differences and we realized that if we pursued on the fiancee visa we would not be successful in our marriage. As we all know marriage is a lifetime commitment. We split up just few weeks after we our petition got approved on January 2013. We have been in good terms since we split up and that's the good thing about us. I asked him to withdraw the petition around January 2013, while it was on the USCIS stage, but because of his busy schedule on his job it took him 6 months ( June 2013) to finally submit a withdrawal letter at the US Embassy in Manila. As soon as the US Embassy in Manila received the letter, we got a letter informing us that the petition is automatically revoke upon the formal withdrawal letter sent by the petitioner and our petition was sent back to the USCIS for further review. I researched about how long it takes for the USCIS to give a final decision, and based on what I read, it would take around 6 months. So now, I'm currently waiting for the USCIS final decision.

After my split-up with my ex-fiancee few months ago, I was finally able to move on with my life with no hurt feelings and was ready to enter into a new relationship which I believe is my right. So now, I'm currently talking to a guy whom I met on an online dating site and I was being very honest to him. He knew everything about my past and he understood it. This guy has never petitioned any girl. He doesn't even have any idea how to go about the petition and fiancee visa until he met me. So far, everything goes well for both of us and we both are very serious getting to know each other. On top of it, he told me that he wants to meet me on March 2014 and files a petition in April even if I haven't received yet the final revocation from the USCIS. As of now, I've been waiting for 4 months already and it will hit the 6th month of February 2014. Hopefully by that time, I will be able to get the final letter. So here are my questions:

1. Is it advisable for my current bf to visit me this coming March even if I haven't received the final letter from the USCIS?

2. Isn't it going to be a problem if he files for a petition for me in April right after he visits me, even if I haven't got the final decision from the USCIS?

3. Is it a red flag on my part during my future interview, that it only took me like 6 months to find another guy after we both decided to split up? Well, it was a mutual decision and I have to be honest if ever they ask me. Is there such thing like I have to wait for a year to move on and find another guy just not to sound suspicious for the US Embassy consul? LOL...

4. I learned that once a petitioner has to wait for two years in order to file for another petition to another beneficiary, now does it apply to the beneficiary as well? Like in my case, my ex filed in 2012, so does it mean to say that I have to wait until 2014 for my new bf to file a petition for me?

Thank you so much for taking much time to read my post. I do really appreciate your help and hopefully get some good advice. God bless!

[I & B 273]

I don't think there will be legal problems as long as you keep good records of when your former petitioner filed the withdrawal of his petition.

On a practical level, however, it does seem a bit odd that he's already planning to petition before he even met you and will file after just one meeting. Perhaps those circumstances, combined with your previous withdrawal, will amount to a red flag. If the relationship is really legit, however, that can be overcome, but you two will probably have some heavy lifting in terms of photos and other documentary evidence. Keep good records.

[filipinaasian 5]

@ I and B

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes, I'm keeping all the good record from my ex-fiancee. Anyway, it is just his plan to meet me in March and file right after our meeting. That's why I'm seeking advice from VJ members so that we will be able to make the right decision as to when is good to file for a petition after our meeting. Well, last question, by the time that he will file a petition for me, do we have to submit all the past documents from my ex like NOA2, withdrawal letter and any letters from the USCIS that I got?

[EndlessStory 53]

I do not think you need to send in all your pass information for your intial I-129F petition. The CO might throw a couple of question on your time of the relationship. You are dating both American back to back after filling and then withdraw within a short period? That might bring doubt. I am not here to judge but saying that the close time might trigger something

[filipinaasian 5]

@Janice and Micah

I see, I don't need to pass those important documents if ever my new bf files for and I-129F in the future? I was thinking that the USCIS might need them, so to avoid RFE, we would better submit them in order to avoid delay. Yeah, I agree with you that the time was really close, so probably we will just wait for another year for him to file for a petition in order for the consul not to doubt about me.

[Pitaya 2,577]

~Moved from K-1 Process to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

[I & B 273]

@ I and B

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes, I'm keeping all the good record from my ex-fiancee. Anyway, it is just his plan to meet me in March and file right after our meeting. That's why I'm seeking advice from VJ members so that we will be able to make the right decision as to when is good to file for a petition after our meeting. Well, last question, by the time that he will file a petition for me, do we have to submit all the past documents from my ex like NOA2, withdrawal letter and any letters from the USCIS that I got?

I don't think there is any requirement that you file those documents. I think this will mostly come to a head in one of two ways: (1) you get flagged by USCIS because of your previous petition during the initial review stage (if this happens, it'd probably be because of bungling on their part, but it's not out of the question that your new petition runs into your old one and causes them some confusion), or (2) it becomes an issue for your interviewer who takes it, in context, to be an indicator of potential fraud. Of course, these scenarios are not mutually exclusive (they could both happen).

In the first scenario, which seems unlikely, you'll probably just have to clear things up and submit the documentation. After that, there really is no basis for them not passing your application on to the interview. But I'd imagine you'd face delays if you didn't have the documentation handy because you sure can't expect the USCIS to be on the top of its game in having its left hand know what its right hand is doing.

In the second scenario, which seems quite likely in any case, you will probably need to have those documents at the ready during the interview. As Janice&Micah said, your problem is entirely contextual. You need to put yourself in your interviewer's shoes and think about the negative inferences he or she may draw. Since the Philippines is a high fraud country, beneficiaries from there are pretty thoroughly scrutinized. Remember, the law requires two things: (1) meeting in person in the last two years, and (2) a bona fide relationship. The second requirement is not self defining and its where their power to delay or reject your petition lies. You have to convince the interviewer that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with a person you met several months ago on the internet and then only met once. That's already atypical. And you have added burden of having that short relationship in the shadow of a previous one with an American and an attempt to immigrate. It would not be unreasonable to conclude that you may be putting the cart before the horse (immigration before relationship) based on those facts. I think most people would probably be less willing to quickly commit to marry someone new after having a previous engagement fall apart, though that is just my intuition. (Of course, the interviewer will not know that you two were already planning to marry *before* he visited, so that point will be somewhat less poignant, but--on a personal level, I think you should make sure you aren't rushing into something.)

Like I said, however, none of that means they will reject you. But you cannot go in think that they will just assume the best. You will have the burden of proving to the interviewer that your relationship is bona fide and overcoming whatever preconceptions they have based on your situation. Of course the longer you wait to refile and the more visits he makes in the meantime, the easier that will be. In any case, however, be sure to save lots of emails, chat logs, phone records, photos, etc; it may not be an easy sell.

[filipinaasian 5]

@ I and B Thank you again for your nice advice. I told everything about what you said to my bf and he totally agreed with you. We just feel sad knowing that they may the one who will interview may judge us subjectively. Well it could happen right? Actually if he visits me in April that time will actually past 1 year and 3 months since my petition got approved. I guess every person has the right to move on regardless of how long the time is after a break up. I shared about your opinion to my new bf and he said we just really have to prove that our relationship is very genuine. My past is not a basis for them to think suspicious about me. He said, that since he just started his new job, he can only visit me twice. One is our first meeting and the second one is during the interview at the embassy. He would really love to be with me during the interview so that he can tell the consul that he is ready to marry me and convince them that we are committed for marriage. Well, he just got so excited about us, but he also understood that we would better have to wait until i get the final revocation letter from the USCIS before he will file for a petition.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I don't think there is any requirement that you file those documents. I think this will mostly come to a head in one of two ways: (1) you get flagged by USCIS because of your previous petition during the initial review stage (if this happens, it'd probably be because of bungling on their part, but it's not out of the question that your new petition runs into your old one and causes them some confusion), or (2) it becomes an issue for your interviewer who takes it, in context, to be an indicator of potential fraud. Of course, these scenarios are not mutually exclusive (they could both happen).

In the first scenario, which seems unlikely, you'll probably just have to clear things up and submit the documentation. After that, there really is no basis for them not passing your application on to the interview. But I'd imagine you'd face delays if you didn't have the documentation handy because you sure can't expect the USCIS to be on the top of its game in having its left hand know what its right hand is doing.

In the second scenario, which seems quite likely in any case, you will probably need to have those documents at the ready during the interview. As Janice&Micah said, your problem is entirely contextual. You need to put yourself in your interviewer's shoes and think about the negative inferences he or she may draw. Since the Philippines is a high fraud country, beneficiaries from there are pretty thoroughly scrutinized. Remember, the law requires two things: (1) meeting in person in the last two years, and (2) a bona fide relationship. The second requirement is not self defining and its where their power to delay or reject your petition lies. You have to convince the interviewer that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with a person you met several months ago on the internet and then only met once. That's already atypical. And you have added burden of having that short relationship in the shadow of a previous one with an American and an attempt to immigrate. It would not be unreasonable to conclude that you may be putting the cart before the horse (immigration before relationship) based on those facts. I think most people would probably be less willing to quickly commit to marry someone new after having a previous engagement fall apart, though that is just my intuition. (Of course, the interviewer will not know that you two were already planning to marry *before* he visited, so that point will be somewhat less poignant, but--on a personal level, I think you should make sure you aren't rushing into something.)

Like I said, however, none of that means they will reject you. But you cannot go in think that they will just assume the best. You will have the burden of proving to the interviewer that your relationship is bona fide and overcoming whatever preconceptions they have based on your situation. Of course the longer you wait to refile and the more visits he makes in the meantime, the easier that will be. In any case, however, be sure to save lots of emails, chat logs, phone records, photos, etc; it may not be an easy sell.

An astute post.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

@Janice and Micah

I see, I don't need to pass those important documents if ever my new bf files for and I-129F in the future? I was thinking that the USCIS might need them, so to avoid RFE, we would better submit them in order to avoid delay. Yeah, I agree with you that the time was really close, so probably we will just wait for another year for him to file for a petition in order for the consul not to doubt about me.

No, I would not make him wait another year. One other poster told you it was unusual for someone to say he was going to file, in the future before you have even met in person. Nonsense! I met my now wife on-line in July 2012. I knew within days that I was falling in love with her. I went to meet her In Philippines on September 15, 2012. I proposed on the 18th. We got married on the 22nd. I knew her love for me was real the minute I looked into her eyes on that first in person meeting on Sept 15. We had a beautiful wedding. The rest is history. We are now together in Hawaii and I have never been happier in my entire life. Life is too short to wait around for things to happen.

Of course you must meet in person before he files and you should be certain if you love him once you meet and look into each others eyes.

Oh and one more thing...ALWAYS tell the TRUTH.

Mele Kalikimaka

Edited December 16, 2013 by David & Zoila

[I & B 273]

No, I would not make him wait another year. One other poster told you it was unusual for someone to say he was going to file, in the future before you have even met in person. Nonsense! I met my now wife on-line in July 2012. I knew within days that I was falling in love with her. I went to meet her In Philippines on September 15, 2012. I proposed on the 18th. We got married on the 22nd. I knew her love for me was real the minute I looked into her eyes on that first in person meeting on Sept 15. We had a beautiful wedding. The rest is history. We are now together in Hawaii and I have never been happier in my entire life. Life is too short to wait around for things to happen.

Of course you must meet in person before he files and you should be certain if you love him once you meet and look into each others eyes.

Oh and one more thing...ALWAYS tell the TRUTH.

Mele Kalikimaka

Look, what worked for you is fine and dandy, but that doesn't make it normal in any sense. The vast, vast majority of engagements in the US are not committed to before the two erstwhile love bugs meet in person. Though perhaps marriages that will require a fiancé visa have a slightly higher rate of commitment without meeting, even a casual perusal of this board will show you that the vast majority of fiancé visa seekers met in person before they decided to marry.

In fact, is it too obvious to point out that even your story evinces that you did not decide to marry until you met? You had to look in her eyes, after all. So what's your point?

[malenliam 18]

I had read the same story like this and the second application was denied. Im so sorry but people from USCIS thought that the Filipina was just trying to hook American citizen to enter US.

[filipinaasian 5]

@David and Zoila

Thank you so much for giving your kind thoughts. I believe that though my was past with my ex boyfriend didn't work well, but it doesn't mean that I don't have any right to move on and fall in love again. I never entered into a new relationship until I felt I had totally moved on. And before I entered into a new relationship, I did really research on what to do with the previous petition filed. I'm just so lucky that I can still have a contact with my ex and he never just leave me hanging. He had to withdraw the petition without any hurt feelings because it was a mutual decision to split up. Both of us have moved on with our lives peacefully.

Well, I have known my current bf now for 7 months already. I've been very genuine about my past and never hide anything. The good thing is he has never judged me because he knows that I'm not the only beneficiary in the Philippines who has gone through this kind of petition. Both of us have felt that we both fall in love though we haven't met yet in person. That's why he wants to visit me in March and April. By that time that we will both meet in person, then we will decide whether or not he will file. But right now, we can both feel that our relationship is serious and genuine though people might judge me based on my past.

Yes, you are right meeting him in person, I can tell whether I love him or not by looking into his eyes and then I can decide whether to commit to him for marriage.

Of course, I will always tell the truth. There is nothing more important than being VERY HONEST in everything!

[filipinaasian 5]

@malenliam

I understood your point. thanks. But not all filipinas are trying to hook Americans just to enter into the US. Sad but those girls who are doing that have abused the system and have given such a bad image to those other filipinas who are very genuine of their love.

[Calicolom 266]

I would try to get a letter from you ex boyfriend, why you two split up, this would help you.