The Return of the Pink Ranter

[Ontarkie 14,368]

Just now getting t sit down to relax, day 1 of eating too much done. We had turkey and all the fixings plus a whole day of snacking. Tomorrow is day two with Ham and all the fixings again.

Merry Christmas everyone.

[Darnell 8,479]

OMG. Gaming on Christmas? a game console? With wife in house? Heck no - tis time to lock the door, get naked first, gently remove the game paddle from human male hands.

[Darnell 8,479]

Tiff still have some thuggy friends left here.....and I gettin tired.....

Time to play the fart game !

Or 'stumble and spill drink down their fronts' game.

[TBoneTX 45,840]

On the plus side, my sister's coming home from hospital today.

Last post on page and therefore not read, but si man!!!!!, si man!

Edited December 25, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,840]

TBone, I found a perfect gift for you: http://ournameismud.com/collections/christmas/products/im-cute-cat-ornament

Thank you, si ma'am, but I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do. We take PayPal around here, if anyone would like to donate toward the purcha$e, si man.

On the other hand, it could be that delivery of the hippopotamus is delayed, per the announcement from UPS, sigh man.

3- No they admit you to BV when you're a nut.....

3/Many. They kicked me out, so you're looking at the new champion, si man.

1. making fun of Poland is finished.....

2. Jada dared us to make fun of the Czechs.........

1. That fun is never finished, oj nie. They are the Texas Aggies of the larger world, see man!

2. We'll have to czech this out more deeply, then.

Soon, you shall have to replace this automobile with a better automobile.....such as a 1976 Ford Pinto....

Or, better, a Yugo of any vintage, sigh man.

I hold the record for owning the two very worst cars ever made, sigh man, and consecutively: The '82 Chevy Cavalier, and the '89 Ford* Taurus.

* Fix Or Repair Daily **

** Found On Roadside Dead

7/Many- Devils kielbasa cake

The national dish of Poland, it is said, oj tak.

Usually I'm full after carp and salad, so I don't eat any dumplings on the Christmas Eve

Quit carping during your salad days, Dumpling!

we know what a carp is.....our rivers and lakes here are all polluted with them.....

If they're ill or dead, they should be seen by a Civil Sturgeon, see man.

Civil Sturgeon, n. - a polite freshwater fish that produces caviar eggs, glub man.

How can you prepare a dinner or whatever if you don't know how many people will come?

Inviting a cannibal or two takes care of that problem, crunch man.

Edited December 25, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,840]

She had a major chest infection, bad enough it had covered most of her lungs. She's been in since Saturday. They're releasing her with increased asthma inhalers, steroids, antibiotics and also with the knowledge that her left lung is smaller than it should be and doesn't operate as well. So not sure how they'll fix that, if at all.

That's the lung and the short of it, then. Breathing problems suck (figuratively and literally), grrr man. Folks with bronchitis say that the most irritating thing (aside from exhalations sounding like a bad symphony orchestra tuning up) is that exhalations don't end when one intends them to, no man.

Tell your sister that total strangers, including many Colonists, have her in their fondest thoughts, si man.

I swear i am done with the links

You're swearing off sausage links?! How very sad, considering the nearness of Poland with its kielbasa, oj tak.

this for tarklar--

I said that I wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas, see man.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

sounds like my mom's or sister's house. Where I am at right now...complete opposite though lol I think I am the only one that ever cleans or washes the dogs or washes the sheets or keeps the house somewhat tidy.

It is probably better without the pressure and much easier to handle tbh.

It might be a problem when we move out because I am annoying when it comes to putting your dirty clothes away or not wearing shoes in the house (huge offense in my house) or putting away dishes or throwing out the trash etc.

Uh..so bored. Had some egg whites and peas for dinner and dark chocolate ball.

Yeah around here it is like...baseboards must be bleached every other week, cabinets scrubbed at least every other day, etc. A tiny spec of dirt of the floor is enough to cause a meltdown amongst others who live in this house. *cough*

We had lots of fun and the upside cranberry coffee cake was a huge hit.

Just now getting t sit down to relax, day 1 of eating too much done. We had turkey and all the fixings plus a whole day of snacking. Tomorrow is day two with Ham and all the fixings again.

Merry Christmas everyone.

I just now got the little one to bed and noticed it is 11:26! Ouch, but we were at the neighbor's house.

OMG. Gaming on Christmas? a game console? With wife in house? Heck no - tis time to lock the door, get naked first, gently remove the game paddle from human male hands.

Or find a big brawny man who brings you breakfast in bed on Christmas morning and massages you practically daily.

Yummo, love my Dane.

[TBoneTX 45,840]

That would be the start of "Making a Malaysian American Princess Fiend " series...........

Ciudada-NA America-NA (sigh man sigh man)...

Edited December 25, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,840]

time, i think, to become a garage sale afficianado

[perks up ears] Si, man?

Ducks in the oven

But are the ducks in a row in the oven, huh man?

[TBoneTX 45,840]

Do I look like a Ho to you?

Larry the Cable Guy's Politically Correct Christmas has Nonspecific Holiday Figure saying "Lady of the Evening, Lady of the Evening, Lady of the Evening."

Tiff still have some thuggy friends left here.....and I gettin tired.....

Good time to re-enlist the cannibals, munch man.

Time to play the fart game !

My favorite is when someone has the enviable skill of loosing an ultra-pungent one just as (s)he exits a crowded elevator, phew man.

[TBoneTX 45,840]

1. A tiny spec of dirt of the floor is enough to cause a meltdown amongst others who live in this house. *cough*

2. We had lots of fun and the upside cranberry coffee cake was a huge hit.

3. Yummo, love my Dane.

1. Sounds like Mama T-B., sigh man.

2. I reassured everyone that there was no downside, si and no man.

3. He continues to sound like a Great Dane, oj tak.

Edited December 25, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,840]

How I Spent Christmas Eve Day

by T-B., Si Man

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awoke groggily and unwillingly, feeling as usual like #######, to alarm and to 2-year-old Miniature Version calling "Daddy, get up!"

Lurched downstairs, swilled coffee to not much positive effect; dimly understood Spousal Unit to say "I'm leaving for two hours at least," retrospectively realizing that the ensuing 2.5+ hours would cost $Many.

With jovial, energetic, highly interactive Miniature Version, played trains, played blocks, played pillows, played blocks, and played trains, being led up & down stairs approx. 45,907 times in the process, and still managed to complete basic morning grooming rituals. Observed usual transformation of jovial Miniature Version into whining, demanding, weepy clinger the instant Spousal Unit walked through door after nearly 3 hours. With knowing, well-experienced resignation, witnessed Spousal Unit's gleeful dumping of armloads of packages, instantly recognizable as having cost $Many.

Inquired of Spousal Unit about lunch; after 40 minutes, was ultimately served two (2) weeks-old, store-bought, dessicated, ghastly-tasting cheese tamales; upon mild mention of the foregoing, was admonished to be grateful for any little crumb of happiness because of Spousal Unit's preoccupation with Miniature Version, and "Why don't you ever help me with him?"

With permission from Spousal Unit, hit road in T-B.-jalopy to consignment shop with two bags of jetsam, chiefly that of Spousal Unit; upon arrival, found that no consignments were being accepted because managerette was closing early; found that not enough previous jetsam had sold to yield a reimbur$ement check; idly eyeballed meager men's section and found two promising-looking pairs of jeans -- one seemingly new, one back from the cleaners -- which, upon on-trying, fit near-perfectly and were purchased (at half-price) to accommodate rapidly-more-corpulent-growing corpus.

Went to Post Office and mailed 5 bills for $4,751 ($Many), not even including property taxes; went to going-out-of-business liquor store and perceived that meager remnants were not a bargain, even at 40% to 70% off. Went to supermarket; after circling totally full lot thrice, found good space marked "Customer with Child" (no specification of whether child had to be present). After purchases, went to Walgreens. After purchases, went to Mexican supermarket. After purchases (including two magazines for Spanish soap operas and a very hard, very green mango from Ecuador), returned to casa.

Entered casa semi-quietly, not knowing whether Miniature Version was napping. Upon perceiving a negatory to this, lugged purchases into casa. Was accused by Spousal Unit of having gone to a garage sale, the jeans obviously being a guilty sign thereof. Pulled surprisingly-fully-emptied trash bin from curb, stowed purchases while observing demanding Miniature Version lead stressed Spousal Unit up & down stairs approx. 22,953.5 times; at urgent behest of stressed Spousal Unit, joined stressed Spousal Unit and demanding Miniature Version in playing blocks, thus enabling stressed Spousal Unit to escape briefly until demanding Miniature Version noticed stressed Spousal Unit's absence.

Observed Miniature Version's being distracted by train videos on tablet computer; gained permission from stressed Spousal Unit to take nap; took same with corpulent, purring feline. Upon awakening, played trains with persistent Miniature Version amidst increasing hunger. Consequent to hunger-fueled petulance from Miniature Version and increasing personal hunger, mildly inquired of Spousal Unit when dinner might be forthcoming; was told "If you ever helped with your son, I might be able to make something. The chicken should be ready in an hour."

After full hour with no alleged chicken forthcoming, mildly inquired further; was served plate with dehydrated rice and store-bought macaroni salad. Same was offered to Miniature Version with the refusal, "No! Want chicken, Mommy!" Played trains as hungry Miniature Version became petulant about collapsing train-track. Spousal Unit hand-forked rice and macaroni salad into Miniature Version's oral orifice. Was ordered by Spousal Unit to accompany Miniature Version upstairs to play blocks, with rationale of "if you allow me a moment's peace, maybe I can finish the chicken!" Accompanied Miniature Version upstairs to play blocks; was soon met by stressed but calmer Spousal Unit, who said "Yours is downstairs." Went downstairs, ate cold plate, went upstairs, complimented Spousal Unit on taste, ambience, and presentation.

This is How I Spent My Christmas Eve Day, Si Man, si man.

Edited December 25, 2013 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,840]

'Twould be fun and a boon to have even more contributors to this thread, si man, whether new or previous.

[Asia 2,498]

Merry Christmas to you all!

Tho it looks more like Easter over here... No snow, no frost... Not funny...

[Vanitas 310]

'Twould be fun and a boon to have even more contributors to this thread, si man, whether new or previous.

Indeed, comrade.

Either way, to the Harvester I will go in about an hour for food, family and possibly alcohol.