The Return of the Pink Ranter

[SAT 9,609]

65 is cold Nola........

In many studies, the human brain performs best at 80 F

[Caryh 5,206]

that's pretty bad. Can he even kick her to the curb? even if he tried? how old is she? no sense of planning?

Like Gump? my SIL is gonna have to support this guy in a decade or so. They have no savings. or, very little.

Yes he could kick her to the curb, happens all the time in the Philippines. They can't get a divorce though, and he'd probably not get to see his kids any more, but he can boot her out, no alimony, no child support, unless he chooses to give it. She'd be out with absolutely nothing at all, as he bought the house and so he owns it 100%. They don't believe in community property there. She's late 20's, he's in his 40's. Her family sent her to college, she got a teaching degree. She quit her first term without finishing, a big no no over there, you can't quit work without permission. Which means no reference, which means no job ever again, at least in teaching. She was teaching when he asked her to marry him. She quit right afterwards, actually I think she got fired, which explains why no one came around demanding she return to work. She hasn't worked a day since. Until just recently, they opened a small restaurant, but she's hired people to do all the work. I'm not sure if she' really doing any work or not there. Problem is they borrowed all the money to open it, and rent is high where they opened. And given her habit of spending all the money on herself, will she actually pay the loans and rent? Or will he come home to a boat load of debt again, with an out of business restaurant? I'd love it if it actually took off for them, but they're not starting it the right way, with every penny to open borrowed. Don't think American style restaurant, this is a tiny Filipino cantina type thing.

Here's some pics of the place. This is basically a one person operation, yet she's hired two people to work there. She should be doing it herself, but she doesn't know how to cook.

[Caryh 5,206]

what fuel is your house heated with?

Natural gas. My gas bill averages maybe $75 per month for the year. I have lots of southern glass, so I get decent solar affect.

[SAT 9,609]

cool pics....similar to the village places that I visited in the Phils (years ago) and in Malaysia......

Natural gas. My gas bill averages maybe $75 per month for the year. I have lots of southern glass, so I get decent solar affect.

Natural gas is cheap right now.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Natural gas. My gas bill averages maybe $75 per month for the year. I have lots of southern glass, so I get decent solar affect.

Geez that's cheap - reminds me of my gas bill in Colorado circa 2007. I had an in wall gas heater and heated the whole apartment for like $20/month.

We've got what is technically a 1200 sq ft house (1800 if you count the flood areas), and oil bill last month was $350.

Electric bill to heat our other house (not through the super cold periods yet), was over $700 and I have the heat on 55 and all the appliances unplugged.

[Caryh 5,206]

cool pics....similar to the village places that I visited in the Phils (years ago) and in Malaysia......

Natural gas is cheap right now.

All of those people in the pictures are family. Note right next door is another business probably doing exactly the same thing. Its weird how they do that there.

[JTB11 1,079]

You need a back up computer so you don't fall behind. I mean how do you survive without a computer?

I used my husband's computer but he has no word or excel or pdf readers and so whatever I made on google docs I could not double check and all that. I just found and applied for jobs that allowed me using linked in and did not need cover letter but rather had me copy and paste answers to questions so at least that. I also had the time to think over my cover letter and decided to add stuff in and got my references straightened out somewhat so I did something at least.

ps: I started watching Gossip Girl on netflix too......brain cells...going slowly...still having fun watching it. lol

Wow J, I'm (we're) sorry to learn of this. I sure hope that as time goes by. You guys will at least get used to each other. Because it doesn't even sound like that you're even at that stage. No less have a lasting relationship.

This is a good article. I always did admire Ben Franklin.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Make-Wise-Decisions-the-Ben-Franklin-Way&id=6315985

I shoulda sent J the dang ipad lol

yah where is my ipad lol J/K ! I did talk to a friend of mine who said he could have sent me the adapter in a day so I have a backup now in case of emergency.

[SAT 9,609]

All of those people in the pictures are family. Note right next door is another business probably doing exactly the same thing. Its weird how they do that there.

I'lll post some pics of Tiffs family in their Malaysian restaurant later....

[JTB11 1,079]

Several things:

- if you had an understanding before you were married, it shouldn't even be up for discussion now unless you brought it up because you've changed your mind

- marriage is about "our" things

BEAR !!

several things response:

- I agree however in his mind it is a way to protect himself when I have a problem so it gets somewhat thrown in my face and I have no argument. Usually saying "well, I am not comfortable not having kids" leaves me speechless since there is very little I can do about it and same goes for out of state jobs.

- yes and in his mind it will be once I have things, when it comes to his things he will talk about how it is our things but when he gets me anything he normally would not get for himself he tends to bring it up in front of his parents (like adapter that costs 70 bucks) to make sure they know he spent money on me and how much it was (i still told him I will pay him back so I am not sure why he keeps talking about it...makes me feel horrible, i feel like i am forcing him to do things and spend his money). he did this for all the extra groceries even though i would give him 20 bucks a week to pay for at least part of it (out of the 30 a week i spent, which i know is a lot cause i eat a lot of veggies and fruit). Now I can no longer give him money since i am out entirely but i also told him not to talk about it because its just really annoying and that he will get his part back at which point he feels bad and waves his hand. I am very confused - he says one thing and does another lol. ahhhhhhhhhh

[Caryh 5,206]

Geez that's cheap - reminds me of my gas bill in Colorado circa 2007. I had an in wall gas heater and heated the whole apartment for like $20/month.

We've got what is technically a 1200 sq ft house (1800 if you count the flood areas), and oil bill last month was $350.

Electric bill to heat our other house (not through the super cold periods yet), was over $700 and I have the heat on 55 and all the appliances unplugged.

I've got a 1500 sq ft quad townhouse. All southern exposure, that was important to me when selecting it. Lots of glass to, so on a sunny day the heat doesn't hardly come on at all. Unless its about zero degrees out. I set back the temp to 70 when we're at work, if its sunny and 20 degrees outside, inside will be 80 degrees when I get home to turn up the thermostat. North and east sides are common walls, so no real heat loss on those sides.

Funny thing my wife mentioned to me just the other day. When she first got here and we were driving up to our house for the first time, she saw the size of the quad home and thought the entire thing was mine. Her first thought was how the heck was she ever going to clean a place that big She was relieved to discover only a quarter of it was ours, but still thought it was too big. In reality it is actually, we only live on one floor leaving the other floor unused. We furnished that level, we just never use it really.

[JTB11 1,079]

Oh, he's had his tarjeta verde for a few months now, but quality care isn't the problem. Our dentist in Ecuador was a good friend who actually went to medical school in New York, and was quite good at her job - and was much cheaper than anything you'd find Stateside. He's just terrified of dentists in general for some reason.

1. Woohoo, go girl! I'm right there with you trying to lose weight. I bought a cute dress during black Friday sales and am determined to look cute in it by summer.

2. Yay, congrats! So happy for you, Deb.

He is, luckily, open to discussing and coming to a decision we can both agree on, which is what's happened up to now. But I'll be damned if MIL thinks she's gonna be getting a monthly stipend or something. She's very good at playing the guilt card with him, but I see through that BS.

I was really terrified of dentists too...I haven't gone to one for 15 years until 3 months ago. It was not as bad as I thought it would be but its hard to make yourself go. I had some cavities and apparently teeth grinding at night issue so all manageable. Good luck with dentist, tell him it will be fine !!!!

I am trying to lose weight myself now since i gained 3 pounds - winter fattening up ftl hehe

[JTB11 1,079]

btw Steve good article makes me think

ps: to everyone - thanks to for your responses. Just so you know, I do realize that I had made certain decisions and my situation is what it is and I cannot simply complain about it but have to decide where to go from here and whether we can solve certain things or not and what to do if we cannot. For now though...it is job search and giving things time...i keep telling that to myself and sometimes I forget with time things will either get better or not. I also don't blame hubby for being the way he is - all happened because he is not really mature enough or used to handling himself or taking care of anyone. He is smart but not emotionally smart - my fault for not seeing this, not his at all.

[Caryh 5,206]

BEAR !!

several things response:

- I agree however in his mind it is a way to protect himself when I have a problem so it gets somewhat thrown in my face and I have no argument. Usually saying "well, I am not comfortable not having kids" leaves me speechless since there is very little I can do about it and same goes for out of state jobs.

- yes and in his mind it will be once I have things, when it comes to his things he will talk about how it is our things but when he gets me anything he normally would not get for himself he tends to bring it up in front of his parents (like adapter that costs 70 bucks) to make sure they know he spent money on me and how much it was (i still told him I will pay him back so I am not sure why he keeps talking about it...makes me feel horrible, i feel like i am forcing him to do things and spend his money). he did this for all the extra groceries even though i would give him 20 bucks a week to pay for at least part of it (out of the 30 a week i spent, which i know is a lot cause i eat a lot of veggies and fruit). Now I can no longer give him money since i am out entirely but i also told him not to talk about it because its just really annoying and that he will get his part back at which point he feels bad and waves his hand. I am very confused - he says one thing and does another lol. ahhhhhhhhhh

I don't believe in the her's and his was way of managing money for a couple. Yes it needs to be that way in some cases, but to me its much better when its all ours. Spouses should support each other. You're not working yet and running out of money, of course he should buy you things, he's the one making money now. When you're working, no doubt you'll be spending money on him to. Took a while for my wife to get used to that idea to, and she's much more comfortable with it now that she brings money in herself.

As to eating veggies and fruits, go find yourself a big asian grocery. I'm shocked how much we save on fruit and veggies buying from the big asian grocery stores. You'll also find an entire new world worth of fruits and veggies to eat to. Also you don't need to buy a 2 lbs bag of carrots when you only need a few, heck you can buy one carrot if thats all you're going to use.

[oohpartiv 484]

All of those people in the pictures are family. Note right next door is another business probably doing exactly the same thing. Its weird how they do that there.

They do that in Ecuador, too. Little minimarts and restaurants literally right next to each other. Makes me wonder how the stay in business, let alone make any profit.

I was really terrified of dentists too...I haven't gone to one for 15 years until 3 months ago. It was not as bad as I thought it would be but its hard to make yourself go. I had some cavities and apparently teeth grinding at night issue so all manageable. Good luck with dentist, tell him it will be fine !!!!

I am trying to lose weight myself now since i gained 3 pounds - winter fattening up ftl hehe

I think he had a traumatizing experience as a kid. He has a phobia of horses for the same reason - got kicked in the forehead as a kid.

yes and in his mind it will be once I have things, when it comes to his things he will talk about how it is our things but when he gets me anything he normally would not get for himself he tends to bring it up in front of his parents (like adapter that costs 70 bucks) to make sure they know he spent money on me and how much it was (i still told him I will pay him back so I am not sure why he keeps talking about it...makes me feel horrible, i feel like i am forcing him to do things and spend his money). he did this for all the extra groceries even though i would give him 20 bucks a week to pay for at least part of it (out of the 30 a week i spent, which i know is a lot cause i eat a lot of veggies and fruit). Now I can no longer give him money since i am out entirely but i also told him not to talk about it because its just really annoying and that he will get his part back at which point he feels bad and waves his hand. I am very confused - he says one thing and does another lol. ahhhhhhhhhh

Now, this is my opinion and all couples work differently, but I don't think you should have to pay him a dime! His money should be considered your money, too, and he shouldn't guilt trip you about buying you something! That's what husbands do.

[Caryh 5,206]

Yes Doctor. Funny haven't had wine in a few days trying to lose some weight (lost 3 lbs so far since monday) and guess what.

(drum roll). Debbie finally after 5 years of contract work landed a permanent position. OMG with benefits. When the HR lady was rattling off all the benefits and said Vision and dental I swear tears came down.

Just think vacation, 401K stuff regular folk get to do. I am over the moon happy.

OMG that's wonderful!!! congrats to the new job. Forget the diet, drink the whole bottle.