Do you and your fiance(e) have a large age difference?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I knew there was someone from Morocco, just couldnt remember who, ty ty ty exactly what i said, if your not there first why do you care, and second your opinion is base on what? if your happy (the others) move on surely you have more to worry about. Glad you and your husband are fine have good holidays

[mawilson 2,133]

Some of us remember when it was acceptable to declare one's racism in public.

It isn't now? Did I miss a constitutional amendment that banned racist speech?

[KarenCee 3]

Methinks this is going to go on all day....

[brnidokiegurl 0]

could you please pass me the popcorn

[kaydee457 13]

You're right, it's absolutely your own business, and I think no matter how different a couple is from what people in the mall perceive as the "norm," as long as you guys are happy, that's the important thing.

What I don't get are these accusations of jealousy. What, exactly, are American women supposed to be jealous of?

Oh, I suppose that would be their inability to aquire and keep a relationship without all the "taboo's" and inhibitions they percieve to be "deal breakers".

They're actually disturbed by couples like us. The fact that we appear okay with each others company seems to contadict what they believe cannot be.....

Why, oh why can't they find happiness as we have?

Get it?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Some of us remember when it was acceptable to declare one's racism in public.

It isn't now? Did I miss a constitutional amendment that banned racist speech?

I never said it was banned. I said it isn't acceptable. People have a tendency to be more covertly racist than overtly racist these days.

Edited December 21, 2006 by szsz

[brnidokiegurl 0]

contradict what they believe cant be...i think in most its just the way most were taught or situation they were accustomed to, we only know what we hear or see. If youve grown up knowing someone different color, religion, age whatever you are more open, if you havent then all you know is the sterotypes. Can be a never ending story.

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

I totally agree....with this..

This is a relationship...not a Dictatorship...

To me, an age gap is far less worrying than a large power gap or a pack of other prejudices.. I've been attracted, at age 27, to men in their early forties, but it's been to men who are in a similar position to me career-wise (i.e., junior faculty vs. grad. student.) It's not really icky once you're past college, because you meet a lot more people, and the older you get, the more they're all about the same anyway.

But.... when it's someone who wants their bride to be subservient, is hoping to keep her financially dependent, and generalizes ('X women all do this') or talks about their bride like she's an iPod or other expensive purchase. ('How do you keep your bride from Americanizing? I hope you're happy with your bride like I am with mine!' Might as well be 'How did you get iTunes to work?' You almost expect 'Did she come with a warranty?') But that just means I don't like jackas$es... nothing to do with age gaps there.

There is some correlation between age gaps and fraud, but that's not the fault of the American's intentions, in most cases.

[garya505 2]

I guess I'll give you a straight answer, Gary.

Yes, my husband and I have an actual LARGE age gap. I laugh when I see people posting less than 10 years. Our gap is 21 years and I am the older wife. We've been together almost 6 years.

The only place where I have gotten negative reactions to our age gap is here, and mostly from other women. My family isn't moved; most of the women in my family are older than their husbands. My friends just want us to be happy, and we are.

That there are so many people who have never been in an age gap relationship, but have negative opinions about them is interesting. It's one of the last things people feel free to be openly prejudiced about while denying that they are prejudiced.

Now we're on topic!

[garya505 2]

You're right, it's absolutely your own business, and I think no matter how different a couple is from what people in the mall perceive as the "norm," as long as you guys are happy, that's the important thing.

What I don't get are these accusations of jealousy. What, exactly, are American women supposed to be jealous of?

Oh, I suppose that would be their inability to aquire and keep a relationship without all the "taboo's" and inhibitions they percieve to be "deal breakers".

They're actually disturbed by couples like us. The fact that we appear okay with each others company seems to contadict what they believe cannot be.....

Why, oh why can't they find happiness as we have?

Get it?

Exactly!

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Maybe why the older AW gets jealous is because the Younger FW is stepping into their dating pool... hhahahahahahha

[Fandango 1,439]

Maybe why the older AW gets jealous is because the Younger FW is stepping into their dating pool... hhahahahahahha

Are you referring to the ppl here who don't understand large age-gap relationships? afaik, everyone here already HAS a partner, so there's no 'dating pool' since everyone here's already married/getting married....

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

I'm referring to the looks you get when your FW is here with you and she is younger....

Maybe why the older AW gets jealous is because the Younger FW is stepping into their dating pool... hhahahahahahha

Are you referring to the ppl here who don't understand large age-gap relationships? afaik, everyone here already HAS a partner, so there's no 'dating pool' since everyone here's already married/getting married....

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Also We never once had any bad comments..or even a second look when I went to see Veronica In Moldova..twice... What a breath of fresh air..not to have to deal with the age difference issue there....

I'm referring to the looks you get when your FW is here with you and she is younger....

Maybe why the older AW gets jealous is because the Younger FW is stepping into their dating pool... hhahahahahahha

Are you referring to the ppl here who don't understand large age-gap relationships? afaik, everyone here already HAS a partner, so there's no 'dating pool' since everyone here's already married/getting married....

Edited December 21, 2006 by Chris-n-Veronica

[ChristinaM 0]

Holy freakin' generalisations, Batman!

There are 13 years between my husband and I. It's something that both he and I discussed in detail before we committed to getting married. There are 11 years between my parents, so I've never thought anything of it - and neither did they. I did have a couple of comments, but for the most part the people whose opinion I actually care about have been very supportive.

I don't feel that the age difference causes a "power gap" of any kind in my marriage; there are other issues in our relationship, but none of them can be attributed to an imbalance of power. We both came into the marriage with very little, so assets were not a concern either.

Before I married, I dated guys who were between 7 and 22 years older than me, and some who were a couple of years younger. Being that I'm only 23 now, there's not far I can go younger than me without feeling icky about it, but I never had a problem with the "repulsiveness" of older men. It has nothing to do with needing a father figure - I have a perfectly fine father. I just find that my way of thinking, sense of humour and general interests are more in tune with men (and frequently women, in a social context) who are older than me. I had no malicious intent by dating older men, I simply wanted company on my own wavelength.