Do you and your fiance(e) have a large age difference?

[chri'stina 190]

Haven't read all the pages yet, so I'm just responding to the original question. No, Vipul and I only have 3 yrs age difference between us. For us we like that because we know (assuming nothing catastrophic happens) we will grow old together and "slow down" (I guess you could say) together.

I'm sure that couples on VJ with a large age gap inbetween are in love, and I don't doubt it. I guess what I've always wondered is what will happen when say one gets to be 70 and the other is like 50 or 40? It's really none of my buisness but I've always wondered how that affects their relationship at that point in their life.

-Jamie

Sujeet is 4 years older than me, so that's not a large age gap IMO.

I agree with what Jamie wrote above and have wondered the same thing about when you are growing older. While I may not understand the big age gap thing, I know of people with big age gaps on VJ who are definitely in love so I can't judge them for it.

As someone else said earlier (Caladan I think), what freaks me out is when a wife or fiance is talked about as property, and it doesn't seem to matter what the age gap is there, it bothers me no matter what the age gap is.

[garya505 2]

just curious gary if you fall within this issue how are you dealing with it? not being smart etc just asking, i think for most that are within that area could care less and deal with it by saying why should u care its the ones that just are not close to the issue giving sooooooo many opinions on the way they feel for themselves (which can change tomorrow) as one said never say never. If you for example have not ate (whatever) say fried chicken and I am enjoying some how in the world can you sit there and say oh you shouldn't....in my opinion....how stupid....you go try it then come back and tell me why you didnt like it, now you are educated to the subject. Far fetched comparision i know but......and again not trying to be smart just what i think

Of course I fall within this issue, but I haven't had to deal with it too much yet. A clever joke or a back-at-you insult will be my first choice, unless of course I'm in a really bad mood that day, in which case I might just kill them.

But seriously, I think the best way to deal with ignorance and prejudice is by making the offender feel stupid and embarrassed, don't you agree? :

[garya505 2]

Alex's prejudice against Filipinas are obvious from many of her posts on various unrelated topics. She works it in whenever she can.

Gary, that's ridiculous and you (should, at least) know it. Two posts after me you always claim that I'm saying something I'm not, but that doesn't mean that your interpretation is correct.

Ya sure. Whatever you say.

[KarenCee 3]

Wow, this thread sure has generated som interesting posts

Yes but they're not on the topic, which was asking how couples are dealing with other's reaction to their age gap.

OK...to actually answer your question: We didn't have any reactions good or bad to our age gap. I don't look my age...and that's not my words, that's what everyone else tells me. My husband looks much older than he is so I guess you could say we look very close in age.

Now...does any of this REALLY matter?

[caybee 21]

Do you and your fiance(e) have a large age difference?

Did you get any bad reactions from family or friends, or anyone else?

If so, what did you do, make a joke of it, insult them back, get mad, or what?

I'm 16 years older. Some consider it a large difference. We do not. I was still very much a child and extremely naive at 16; maybe that is part of why it doesn't feel strange to me. No one close to either of us has been unkind. Some have asked loving questions, which we expect and respect. The opinions of people who do not love us do not matter to us. We believe in each other and in our relationship.

[garya505 2]

Wow, this thread sure has generated som interesting posts

Yes but they're not on the topic, which was asking how couples are dealing with other's reaction to their age gap.

OK...to actually answer your question: We didn't have any reactions good or bad to our age gap. I don't look my age...and that's not my words, that's what everyone else tells me. My husband looks much older than he is so I guess you could say we look very close in age.

Now...does any of this REALLY matter?

Wow, an on-topic post, cool!

My fiance is younger than me and unfortunately looks way younger than her age.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Knowledge comes from experiences

[kaydee457 13]

Our diff = 25yrs; I'm older....<shrug> The only people that seem to have a problem with it are western women, some of which peruse this forum and some I notice in malls and such giving my wife the "stink-eye", LOL.

She's hot- I'm not <shrug again>....nobody's business but ours though.

Jealousy? Probably

[Alex+R 0]

You're right, it's absolutely your own business, and I think no matter how different a couple is from what people in the mall perceive as the "norm," as long as you guys are happy, that's the important thing.

What I don't get are these accusations of jealousy. What, exactly, are American women supposed to be jealous of?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Jealiously, probably, same goes for older women/younger man maybe they wish they had him

[Reynaldo 0]

You're right, it's absolutely your own business, and I think no matter how different a couple is from what people in the mall perceive as the "norm," as long as you guys are happy, that's the important thing.

What I don't get are these accusations of jealousy. What, exactly, are American women supposed to be jealous of?

The fact that the good ones are taken?!?!

[KarenCee 3]

You're right, it's absolutely your own business, and I think no matter how different a couple is from what people in the mall perceive as the "norm," as long as you guys are happy, that's the important thing.

What I don't get are these accusations of jealousy. What, exactly, are American women supposed to be jealous of?

The fact that the good ones are taken?!?!

Oh Rey, that's a whole 'nother thread! I do believe if it is researched, the thread that addresses this very thought would be found. Wasn't too long ago if my memory serves me correctly.

Edited December 21, 2006 by KarenCee

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I guess I'll give you a straight answer, Gary.

Yes, my husband and I have an actual LARGE age gap. I laugh when I see people posting less than 10 years. Our gap is 21 years and I am the older wife. We've been together almost 6 years.

The only place where I have gotten negative reactions to our age gap is here, and mostly from other women. My family isn't moved; most of the women in my family are older than their husbands. My friends just want us to be happy, and we are.

That there are so many people who have never been in an age gap relationship, but have negative opinions about them is interesting. It's one of the last things people feel free to be openly prejudiced about while denying that they are prejudiced.

[KarenCee 3]

I guess I'll give you a straight answer, Gary.

Yes, my husband and I have an actual LARGE age gap. I laugh when I see people posting less than 10 years. Our gap is 21 years and I am the older wife. We've been together almost 6 years.

The only place where I have gotten negative reactions to our age gap is here, and mostly from other women. My family isn't moved; most of the women in my family are older than their husbands. My friends just want us to be happy, and we are.

That there are so many people who have never been in an age gap relationship, but have negative opinions about them is interesting. It's one of the last things people feel free to be openly prejudiced about while denying that they are prejudiced.

There will always be those that react negatively. Prejudiced. Whatever. We're just fine with our "age-gap". I figure those that have a problem with it (and openly tell you and anyone else who will listen) are the ones that have a problem with most everything else in this world.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

That there are so many people who have never been in an age gap relationship, but have negative opinions about them is interesting. It's one of the last things people feel free to be openly prejudiced about while denying that they are prejudiced.

Edited December 21, 2006 by charlesandnessa