How did you tell the family... what reaction did you get??

[Ta Ta 1]

His parents aren't live.....

my mother is 92 and can't remember anything.....

my grown kids think I have lost my mind......that about sums it up !

[KarenCee 3]

My mom was worried...she had this notion that anything and anyone online was to be viewed as dangerous. I met Joel in an online cancer support group so that helped some, since she knew I "talked" to ppl in this group all the time - even on the phone. I even arranged a get together with some of the other members of the support group to meet her (those that lived rather close) so she could see that these people were *real* and definately not dangerous. It worked.

Joel had the opportunity to meet her several times before she passed away. One of her last wishes was to live long enough to see us married - but, she passed before that could happen. She saw how happy he makes me, and when she met him and realized that he was for real (and really loved me) then she gave us her blessings. Now, that might not matter to some, but I wanted my mom to die knowing that I am finally loved and cherished and she wouldn't have gotten that reassurance without meeting him and feeling comfortable with him. As a rule, no...I don't care what anyone thinks...except for my beloved mom.

The day before she died, she talked to Joel on the phone...for the last time. She managed to say "I love you" to him. That meant more to me than anything at that moment. She passed away with the knowledge that I am taken care of and loved intensely, the way "you deserve to be" - her words.

[no name 1]

I think OP might be jumping the gun a bit telling her family she's gonna marry this guy. All they need to know is she's gonna go see him and it might make things easier on her to hold off on the marriage announcement until they have the credibility of at least having touched each other.

Cart. Horse. GEEZ.

At least meet the person IRL first before deciding to marry!

edit: We met while I was living in England, dated 2+ years, got engaged, filed for K-1.

Edited December 20, 2006 by devilette

[Aymerlu 3]

Well, let's see. Mom, dad, I'm going to Egypt by myself to meet my fiance who I just happen to meet online! I'm not even going there with their response. I think they tried to have little intervention meetings with me for a while. When I went for my second trip, I think they finally decided I was going to do whatever I wanted to do. Funny thing is now that they know him, they love him! It's just people being ignorant of other cultures that causes many of these problems.

[rebeccajo 14]

And for what it is worth... we are both at that point in our lives where we don't really care what people think. Yes we want them to be accepting and happy, but if not... oh well. We have both decided it's time to put our own happiness first for once. So there.

As you feel this way, I don't really understand why you are asking the question.....

I've only got one comment. You say you have children. I have a son. I wanted him to meet my boyfriend - that was important to me and my boyfriend before we made final plans.

Just because we won't let the opinion of others keep us from being happy doesn't mean we would not PREFER AND HOPE my family to be accepting and approving. Who doesn't want THAT?

As for asking... don't you like reading about other couple's experiences? I do! Just maybe there will be some tidbit that offers us insight, or even courage. Some information doesn't come in the form of downloadable forms and timelines.

As for my children... they are in grade school, still getting used to the idea of divorce. I don't feel it is responsible at this time to introduce a new person in to their lives. Especially considering that any marraige would be more than a year and a half away. All in due time.

Fair enough then. Given that, here's my experience....

My parents are in their early 70's. I was also in the midst of divorce - one a long time coming. My Father didn't have much to say about things, but my Mother was afraid Wes was some sort of internet predator. My ENTIRE family felt it was important for Wes to come here first - they wanted to see some 'effort' on his part, but they were also concerned about my personal safety. I'm also certain they wanted to size him up.

I personally could not have expected by family to be fully accepting till they met Wes. They would have been doubters if the guy lived across the road and they hadn't met him. That's just them.

As regards my son, a teenager, we felt it was important all three of us spend some time together before permanent plans were made. We reasoned that after everybody met, we could gauge the pace of the future.

Before having met face to face, we felt we were in love with each other and wanted to make a permanent go of things. But when speaking of our 'future', Wes would always say "if things go according to plan". So that became our motto, so to speak. I remember one Saturday (about a month before he got here) discussing our fears that things might not translate to real life. It was a hard conversation but as two adults it was one we felt we had to have. We had to tell each other that what we felt was beautiful, but if reality didn't measure up, we loved each other enough to let each other go.

Edited December 20, 2006 by rebeccajo

[mawilson 2,133]

She ... seems to believe that all people in the UK (Scots in particular) are all alcoholics

Yah....it's true though.

[TracyTN 237]

I hadn't been long divorced from my ex when I announced my new relationship to my family (mine also started online). Surprisingly, they were supportive (at least to my face). My fiance and I thought it was best for him to come here for our first meeting - partially so that my family could meet him and have any fears that they might have had put to rest. I think they would have been more apprehensive if I had flown over there to meet him first - being a woman in a 'strange' country, meeting someone who could potentially be a creep. But the fact that he came here first and was happy to spend time with us as a family made a world of difference (I think).

[rebeccajo 14]

She ... seems to believe that all people in the UK (Scots in particular) are all alcoholics

Yah....it's true though.

....we can always count on Mark for a little bit of levity.........

[Alex+R 0]

For us, my parents and brother met Rey when we had only known each other about 5 mos. They liked him and took him out to dinner every night for a week in Rio de Janeiro where he was working as a consultant at the time. They say now that they can't wait to get to know him better, but I know it's weird for them that I'm marrying someone they have spent such little time with. But they say that they got a good impression and they trust my judgement.

On the other hand, my little brother is totally in love with Rey. (You know, in a platonic way... hehehe) Rey has seen Rush in concert, also plays the bass, and I think that was enough for my 14-yo brother.

[Ban Hammer 13,645]

For us, my parents and brother met Rey when we had only known each other about 5 mos. They liked him and took him out to dinner every night for a week in Rio de Janeiro where he was working as a consultant at the time. They say now that they can't wait to get to know him better, but I know it's weird for them that I'm marrying someone they have spent such little time with. But they say that they got a good impression and they trust my judgement.

On the other hand, my little brother is totally in love with Rey. (You know, in a platonic way... hehehe) Rey has seen Rush in concert, also plays the bass, and I think that was enough for my 14-yo brother.

oo ooo oooo rey likes rush?

[garya505 2]

My mom thinks it's great, my dad is dead so i don't know what he would think.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I told my parents after Joe had flown up to meet me the first time - and sent them a photograph. We became engaged the following month during my first visit to Atlanta. I was hesitant about telling my Mom about the engagement because we hadn't 'dated' for long and had met online, but she was actually overjoyed. She felt an immediate positive response to his photograph. Little did we know that she would never have a chance to meet him - she died less than a month later. Joe didn't tell most of his family for a long time because he knew they would be suspicious since we met online. He told his daughter who was very supportive and his mother who was willing to be receptive. He told his sisters shortly before we married and they took a wait and see attitude - waiting until they had met me before they decided anything. Fortunately, when they met me, they approved.

My brother is also married to an immigrant - he met his Chinese wife at university. My family was very supportive right from the start but her family disapproved strongly because he wasn't Chinese. It reached the point where my sister-in-law was told it was him or them. She chose my brother - and fortunately, her family decided at the last minute that they didn't want to lose her. They came to the wedding, met my brother and our family and realized that they weren't losing a daughter - they were gaining another family. All of her family have since immigrated to Canada and everyone is on the best of terms.

Good luck with your introduction. If it doesn't go smoothly at first, hopefully in time it will all work out.

Edited December 20, 2006 by Kathryn41

[Marilyn. 340]

my family was a bit leary at first but after they met David , they were totally ok with it....

[Reynaldo 0]

For us, my parents and brother met Rey when we had only known each other about 5 mos. They liked him and took him out to dinner every night for a week in Rio de Janeiro where he was working as a consultant at the time. They say now that they can't wait to get to know him better, but I know it's weird for them that I'm marrying someone they have spent such little time with. But they say that they got a good impression and they trust my judgement.

On the other hand, my little brother is totally in love with Rey. (You know, in a platonic way... hehehe) Rey has seen Rush in concert, also plays the bass, and I think that was enough for my 14-yo brother.

oo ooo oooo rey likes rush?

Hell yes!!!!

I spent half of my paycheck to get their tickets when they came to Sao Paulo...

[TracyTN 237]

For us, my parents and brother met Rey when we had only known each other about 5 mos. They liked him and took him out to dinner every night for a week in Rio de Janeiro where he was working as a consultant at the time. They say now that they can't wait to get to know him better, but I know it's weird for them that I'm marrying someone they have spent such little time with. But they say that they got a good impression and they trust my judgement.

On the other hand, my little brother is totally in love with Rey. (You know, in a platonic way... hehehe) Rey has seen Rush in concert, also plays the bass, and I think that was enough for my 14-yo brother.

oo ooo oooo rey likes rush?

Hell yes!!!!

I spent half of my paycheck to get their tickets when they came to Sao Paulo...

My fiance and I met on a Rush message board!!! :)