Separated, pregnant from another man, no health insurrance a HOT MESS !!!

[Aleke86 5]

Hi everybody, I live in Louisiana.

Me and my soon to be ex husband have been separated since last April... We married in Nov 2011, our mariage didn't last a year because within a year we realized we were too different and more, we do love each other but we are not happy together.

I have my 2yr GC (expires in oct 2014), he wanted me to go back to France because I was unemployed at the time but within a month I found a job at Petsmart and I still work for the company. The income is low $8/h and I work 30hours a week compared to what I used to do in France ($22/h full time) but anyways when I left my husband I moved in with a lady she had a spare room for rent 150 a month on CL, which is great bc I was denied everywhere I applied to find a place.

Me and that lady's son got really intimate around June and now I am pregnant (birth control failed)... I don't know what to do ?? I thought about abortion but I am 28 and during a long time I thought I couldn't have a baby.

And now that I am, I'm so excited about it but scared... My husband didn't want kids or in our 40's (that's one of the reasons I left too)

My new boyfriend knows my situation and wants us to keep the baby but :

- no health insurrance.

- a retail job with low wage and around animals.

- not yet divorce (last time I heard from my husband was in July, he changed his phone number and everything)

Now I just want to divorce and provide the best for my baby. I thought about going back to France but my boyfriend wants to be around.

Help please!!!

[remiel6 0]

I am not a licensed attorney in Lousiana and you should speak to an attorney. Under the law in most states if you are pregnant when you are married the baby is presumed to be the husbands. So unless there is a paternity test or the father claims its his, then the law normally presumes the baby is the husbands. I'm not an immigration attorney so could not speak to the status of your green card.

On a bit of personal advice, if the job you had before you left France is still there I would give serious thought to going back. it would be a better place for the baby. You have to do whats right for your child first and then you.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Hi everybody, I live in Louisiana.

Me and my soon to be ex husband have been separated since last April... We married in Nov 2011, our mariage didn't last a year because within a year we realized we were too different and more, we do love each other but we are not happy together.

I have my 2yr GC (expires in oct 2014), he wanted me to go back to France because I was unemployed at the time but within a month I found a job at Petsmart and I still work for the company. The income is low $8/h and I work 30hours a week compared to what I used to do in France ($22/h full time) but anyways when I left my husband I moved in with a lady she had a spare room for rent 150 a month on CL, which is great bc I was denied everywhere I applied to find a place.

Me and that lady's son got really intimate around June and now I am pregnant (birth control failed)... I don't know what to do ?? I thought about abortion but I am 28 and during a long time I thought I couldn't have a baby.

And now that I am, I'm so excited about it but scared... My husband didn't want kids or in our 40's (that's one of the reasons I left too)

My new boyfriend knows my situation and wants us to keep the baby but :

- no health insurrance.

- a retail job with low wage and around animals.

- not yet divorce (last time I heard from my husband was in July, he changed his phone number and everything)

Now I just want to divorce and provide the best for my baby. I thought about going back to France but my boyfriend wants to be around.

Help please!!!

I wouldn't call it a hot mess just yet, but first things first: your baby and yourself. I'd say that your thoughts need to focus on where/how baby and you would get the best possible care, until birth and post. Unless something can be arranged within the new healthcare law here, which is kind of messy at this point, I'd think returning to France would possibly be a best alternative. Is the father of the baby working? Does he have heatlh insurance? Or a prospect of job/insurance? What does his mother say at all this? Is she supportive of the situation overall?

Once you sort this out, then you need to start looking at the immigration implications. You can file for divorce, though every state has it's own quirks, even if you don't know where he is, it'll just take longer and possible cost more (when someone in a lawsuit cannot be found, the usual way to solve that is by publication, that is, a summons or suit is published and some time is given for response. Note: I am not a lawyer and you should consult one to fully undertstand your options, there are many that work for free with Catholic organizations and I'm sure you would find one where you live. On the other side, a half way decent PI would likely find him within days, or, if you happen to know his SSN and/or other info, can do it yourself for 2.99 in several finders web sites. Again, your first step here should be to consult with a family attorney to understand your rights and options.

Onto immigration: The fact that you are having a baby with another person today does not change that you had (if you did) a bonafide marriage. You can file adjustment (ROC-removal of conditions) on your own, might be a bit more difficult to put together a case, but I'd not think impossible. Many couples discover incompatibilities and decide to go their separate ways. In the same Catholic services, you are likley to also find some immigration help, and I'd encourage to also seek a consultation here.

When you say separate, DO you mean legally separated, or that each one just went their way?? Among other things if you did not legally separated you both are still responsible for each other debts and financial issues; which means for example that if your husband is now deep in debt, so are you. Not trying to scare you, but you need to resolve this situation soon.

Good luck

Edited December 3, 2013 by Gosia & Tito

[Aleke86 5]

I am not a licensed attorney in Lousiana and you should speak to an attorney. Under the law in most states if you are pregnant when you are married the baby is presumed to be the husbands. So unless there is a paternity test or the father claims its his, then the law normally presumes the baby is the husbands. I'm not an immigration attorney so could not speak to the status of your green card.

On a bit of personal advice, if the job you had before you left France is still there I would give serious thought to going back. it would be a better place for the baby. You have to do whats right for your child first and then you.

Wow !!!!

Thank you for the aswer but no I lost the job in France so here or at home, it's a financial problem...

My parents are divorcing too and are about to sell the family house... So I will struggle to find a place.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I don't know if you meet financial criteria, but throughout and post pregnancy you are eligible for Medicaid regardless of immigration status. Your baby will also have Medicaid

[Caryh 5,206]

I don't know if you meet financial criteria, but throughout and post pregnancy you are eligible for Medicaid regardless of immigration status. Your baby will also have Medicaid

Just to give you a bit more on what SingleDad2usc said, here's a link to the medicaid program for pregnant women in Louisiana.

http://dhh.louisiana.gov/index.cfm/page/231

and to answer an important question.

What if I am not a U. S. citizen?

Applicants for Medicaid must:

• Provide the State with documentation of citizenship or alien status, and
• Sign a declaration that the applicant is a citizen or national of the United States or an alien in a satisfactory immigration status.

[Jawaree 717]

You will be allowed to have the baby in LA and the baby will receive wic...but does babydaddy

have a job, and of course stepmom would not put out U & the baby out during maternity leave, I say

if he's a man he'll prepare to take on the responsibility of his own family now, and u move along with

the divorce, I 'd suggest U have baby daddy come and sign the babys BC the day he is born ok

U do not want the baby getting your EX name...good luck....LA is a very hard state financially

[christeen 966]

For health insurance... Check on the exchanges (healthcare.gov) pregnancy is no longer a pre existing condition and you cannot be denied because if it starting Jan 1... Once you select a policy (silver or above) you fill in the info to see how much of a federal subsidy yo will get, but being part time low wage, I imaging it will be significant... For example if you select a $300 a month policy, based on your income, you might get a $250-$300 credit that you can use to pay for the healthcare premiums... At least you will have the birth covered...

The child will be a USC and as such, you can receive benefits for the baby... You can file for removal of conditions on your own but you must file for divorce... For the baby daddy... He needs to step up, take some responsibility and help you out.. After all it sounds like you are staying for him... If he ain't stepping up, you need to step away and get yourself and your baby in a better situation. If you are starting over, I would recommend you consider starting over back n France where you at least have family...

[Aleke86 5]

Thank you everybody for your answers....I know where to start now.

Baby daddy has a job, not better than husband, but he does work. He wants the baby because he thinks I am the most georgous woman he has ever seen and can't stop thinking how beautiful the baby will be and above all, be bilangual french-english with a real France french mom, not Louisiana french... well he loves my european exotism. His mom is happy too she wants to help me get medicaid and food stamps but she doesn't know about my mariage, i mean i didn't feel necessary to tell her, i was just looking for a place to sleep at night. He knows about it.

and yeah now i want to stay because i must admit i love my boyfriend more than my husband and if i go back to France there is some drama going on overseas too and I will miss him.

Thanks again.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Your Husband signed the I-864 for you. So he is still legally responsible for you (even if both of you are divorced) to reimburse any public agencies that have given public benefits to the you,the immigrant until you become US citizen or has worked 40 quarters.

Beware of pitfalls of getting any public benefits since your sponsor (husband) has to pay back.

Immigrants who have been in the country for less than 5 years generally are not eligible for the five federal “means-tested public benefits”: food stamps for adults, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), Medicaid (nonemergency), the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), and Supplemental Security Income (SSI). There are additional restrictions in SSI. However, these immigrants are eligible for emergency Medicaid and most other federal benefits.

Edited December 5, 2013 by Merrytooth

[christeen 966]

Your Husband signed the I-864 for you. So he is still legally responsible for you (even if both of you are divorced) to reimburse any public agencies that have given public benefits to the you,the immigrant until you become US citizen or has worked 40 quarters.

Beware of pitfalls of getting any public benefits since your sponsor (husband) has to pay back.

Immigrants who have been in the country for less than 5 years generally are not eligible for the five federal means-tested public benefits: food stamps for adults, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), Medicaid (nonemergency), the Childrens Health Insurance Program (CHIP), and Supplemental Security Income (SSI). There are additional restrictions in SSI. However, these immigrants are eligible for emergency Medicaid and most other federal benefits.

The ACA subsidies are not considered a means tested benefit under the 864.... Here is a link which explains. http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/11/ImmigrantAccess/Coverage/ib.shtml

[Aleke86 5]

Good, because I don't want him to have to refund for me or anything, I know it will piss him off.

I have questions, Do I have to let my husband knows that I am pregnant? Do I explain the people my situation (separated, pregnant from another man etc) ?

[Umka36 781]

Divorce and move on with you life.

[Caryh 5,206]

Good, because I don't want him to have to refund for me or anything, I know it will piss him off.

I have questions, Do I have to let my husband knows that I am pregnant? Do I explain the people my situation (separated, pregnant from another man etc) ?

I don't know about in your state, but in mine you cannot get divorced while pregnant. They want to pin fatherhood on someone, and the husband of a woman giving birth is always the assumed legal father, regardless of if he's the biologic father here. Hopefully your state doesn't have such stupid rules.

[Aleke86 5]

I don't know about in your state, but in mine you cannot get divorced while pregnant. They want to pin fatherhood on someone, and the husband of a woman giving birth is always the assumed legal father, regardless of if he's the biologic father here. Hopefully your state doesn't have such stupid rules.

I hope so too !!!

I went today for an ultrasound and they were really nice and helpful... they helped me apply for medicaid and WIC like you guys said and within 2 weeks I will be able to have it...My next step is too divorce asap.