I could be freaking myself out...

[Tighfield 3]

My trip to Vietnam gets closer and closer. It'll be my first time meeting my girlfriend face to face. But recently I have been reading up on the country and finding a lot of bad things. Scary things. I know everyone has their own experiences, good and bad. I told myself a hundred times that they're just stories. Stories about mafia girls or if you do not spend a lot of money, you will be treated badly. Am I just freaking myself out? Maybe I am just nervous because this is my overseas relationship? *sigh* I just needed a place to vent and this is the first place I thought of. Everyone seems so relaxed about travelling. Whereas I have no experience.

[HunternStewart 0]

I think you will be fine. I havent heard of Mafia girls (or has affiliations with) in Vietnam except those ones who works at the Vietnamese coffee shops in California. Personally, the biggest thing I would look for when considering any overseas relationship that would eventually lead to a marriage is a relative of hers who resides in stateside. If you are still worried, then make the trip short in case she didnt turn out to be the person you thought she is. And bring a buddy along who can speak the language if you can.

[ConGau1981 56]

You will have a great time, I went for 3 weeks in April and in January I am going back for 2 weeks. My fiance and her family treated me like a king. I never felt pressured to spend lots of money. Things are so cheap there anyway that you wont have to spend much, and the food is just great. Every place in the world has good stories as well as bad stories, and you can spend all your time worrying about things that will probably never happen instead of thinking about all the fun you will have with your girlfriend and her family. If you have the opportunity to visit Nha Trang...DO IT!!

[Tighfield 3]

Thank you guys for your very positive replies. ^^ You're right, I should be thinking more about the fun I'll have instead of sweating the small stuff that may never happen. I'm only staying for a week and if everything goes great, I will make a second trip. ^^ I don't know of any relatives she has in America. She's only mentioned having a friend in Illinois who is originally from Vietnam. And her sister seems to know a few people in California, in the Anaheim area.

Thanks again y'all. I do feel a bit better about this. ^^

[DreamNHope 9]

Thank you guys for your very positive replies. ^^ You're right, I should be thinking more about the fun I'll have instead of sweating the small stuff that may never happen. I'm only staying for a week and if everything goes great, I will make a second trip. ^^ I don't know of any relatives she has in America. She's only mentioned having a friend in Illinois who is originally from Vietnam. And her sister seems to know a few people in California, in the Anaheim area.

Thanks again y'all. I do feel a bit better about this. ^^

Staying for only a week? You don't have enough paid time off or what? A month in VN is already a waste of a trip, much less a week! You haven't even got over the jetlag and it's time to pack up and head home.

Anyway, you're already a risk taker to date someone half the world away. Use your common sense and be on alert for unsual signs.

But most importantly, do NOT drink or eat anything that you can't see the source! NEVER let anyone (yes, including her) give you something to eat or drink without knowing where that drink or food cames from.

Last but not least, there's a saying "If it sounds too good to be true, then it prob is". Works every single time in every situation in real life.

[DreamNHope 9]

I think you will be fine. I havent heard of Mafia girls (or has affiliations with) in Vietnam except those ones who works at the Vietnamese coffee shops in California. Personally, the biggest thing I would look for when considering any overseas relationship that would eventually lead to a marriage is a relative of hers who resides in stateside. If you are still worried, then make the trip short in case she didnt turn out to be the person you thought she is. And bring a buddy along who can speak the language if you can.

Call girls or prostitudes in VN are known to use "Bua or Ngai". It's hard to explain but it's something they put in your drinks. From what I hear, those things come from "dead fetuses". They use some type of black magic or curse on those nasty things.

Once the victim drinks the stuff, they will have total control of the victims. The victims will follow their commands to the T, including but not limited to sending money to them, no question asked.

Some of you will find this stuff hard to believe. But now you've heard of it so be on the watch out for those things! Be wary of what's in your drinks when you're travelling to a foreign country and don't know much about their culture.

[BatonRouge Bill 2]

My trip to Vietnam gets closer and closer. It'll be my first time meeting my girlfriend face to face. But recently I have been reading up on the country and finding a lot of bad things. Scary things. I know everyone has their own experiences, good and bad. I told myself a hundred times that they're just stories. Stories about mafia girls or if you do not spend a lot of money, you will be treated badly. Am I just freaking myself out? Maybe I am just nervous because this is my overseas relationship? *sigh* I just needed a place to vent and this is the first place I thought of. Everyone seems so relaxed about travelling. Whereas I have no experience.

Lol, you will be fine, unless you are going ####### hopping and walking around totally intoxicated you will be perfectly fine, I know western guys who get get totally wasted at clubs every weekend and fight with the police occasionally and been living there for years. They don't get robbed but do occassionally give all their money away to sweet young ladies and don't have enough left for a taxi ride home hahaha. You are safer there than in any US city. period. My fiance works at a hospital, well just quit this past week so I will tell you the first trip I can tell you the stuff my colleagues were telling me, Lol, comparisons from the movie "Taken" they drew cartoons of me hiding under the bed with the cellphone, or me waking up in a hotel in the bathtub full of ice with a note on my chest because my kidneys were stolen. " and its not like your girlfriend don't work at a hospital" hahahaha, I will send you a private message from my facebook, I have hundreds of photos, you can see, There is nothing to fear there. You have more to fear in your own home town. Its not Pleasantville but I am yet to find Pleasantville anywhere.

Call girls or prostitudes in VN are known to use "Bua or Ngai". It's hard to explain but it's something they put in your drinks. From what I hear, those things come from "dead fetuses". They use some type of black magic or curse on those nasty things.

Once the victim drinks the stuff, they will have total control of the victims. The victims will follow their commands to the T, including but not limited to sending money to them, no question asked.

Some of you will find this stuff hard to believe. But now you've heard of it so be on the watch out for those things! Be wary of what's in your drinks when you're travelling to a foreign country and don't know much about their culture.

You should go to confession for that, Lol, thats just not nice!!!

[JRF 117]

My trip to Vietnam gets closer and closer. It'll be my first time meeting my girlfriend face to face. But recently I have been reading up on the country and finding a lot of bad things. Scary things. I know everyone has their own experiences, good and bad. I told myself a hundred times that they're just stories. Stories about mafia girls or if you do not spend a lot of money, you will be treated badly. Am I just freaking myself out? Maybe I am just nervous because this is my overseas relationship? *sigh* I just needed a place to vent and this is the first place I thought of. Everyone seems so relaxed about travelling. Whereas I have no experience.

Relax and enjoy. And a week's not too short a time. I spent just over a week on my first trip. Four trips later I got married. You do what you can given your budget and work schedule. Make the most of it and have fun.

[Tighfield 3]

Thanks everyone for the positive feedback. Much appreciated! ^^

[sparth 1]

Follow your guts. How did you 2 meet. I met mine through close friends and her family is their parents so I'm safer. Follow her actions. Reason to yourself about how she talk. If you feel like she's just want to leave VN and go to US then you might want to asset the situation. When you 2 meet, it'll be awkward at first but be yourself. Express your feelings to her and see if the chemistry is correct when she returns her feelings. The way she talks, dresses, actions...etc can very well portrait what a person she is. When you live with her you'll know. During intimate nights, will she be a pro or amature, ask her about everything...past relationships...etc. You're about to spend a lifetime with a person, make sure you get it out before it's too late so share. It's really hard for me to trust mine at first even though she said things that only a nice human being can say so it was hard to believe. But when I got to know her, I can't believe all those are true and how lucky I am to have her in my life. But I follow my guts and that's the most gifted things God gave us so use it and you won't be disappointed. You will know who's fake and who's not. You will fight, you will make up. You will say mean things, but in the end, it should end like a fairy tail story and that's what love is.

Most unsucess stories are just like Vegas stories. You go on a vacation, you meet, you get married and divorce the next day. It's typical. If you are meeting her to see how it goes, you might not want to think too far of the relationship. You're meeting her so you can meet her family, understand her lifestyle and hopefully you get to know for who she is face to face. I hope things go well with you. I'll be in VN again in Jan and I've been more excited everyday, more than the first time I saw her.

[Tighfield 3]

Follow your guts. How did you 2 meet. I met mine through close friends and her family is their parents so I'm safer. Follow her actions. Reason to yourself about how she talk. If you feel like she's just want to leave VN and go to US then you might want to asset the situation. When you 2 meet, it'll be awkward at first but be yourself. Express your feelings to her and see if the chemistry is correct when she returns her feelings. The way she talks, dresses, actions...etc can very well portrait what a person she is. When you live with her you'll know. During intimate nights, will she be a pro or amature, ask her about everything...past relationships...etc. You're about to spend a lifetime with a person, make sure you get it out before it's too late so share. It's really hard for me to trust mine at first even though she said things that only a nice human being can say so it was hard to believe. But when I got to know her, I can't believe all those are true and how lucky I am to have her in my life. But I follow my guts and that's the most gifted things God gave us so use it and you won't be disappointed. You will know who's fake and who's not. You will fight, you will make up. You will say mean things, but in the end, it should end like a fairy tail story and that's what love is.

Most unsucess stories are just like Vegas stories. You go on a vacation, you meet, you get married and divorce the next day. It's typical. If you are meeting her to see how it goes, you might not want to think too far of the relationship. You're meeting her so you can meet her family, understand her lifestyle and hopefully you get to know for who she is face to face. I hope things go well with you. I'll be in VN again in Jan and I've been more excited everyday, more than the first time I saw her.

Thank you for the taking the time to reply to my post. I have not had a lot of positive feedback lately. My family and some other people around me wish to be negative about my situation. I know in my heart this is real and I know she feels it too. Her and I have had very deep conversations about it. But at the same time, I will not drop my guard and I will be ready. I'm more ready to go to Vietnam than ever before. Life is too short to live in fear. I lost my grandfather and my uncle in the same month this year and it was a wake up call for me. My parents may not believe this is real. My friend's family may think I'm crazy, but I must do this. After this, I can cross it off my bucket list and rest for awhile.

[sparth 1]

I understand how you feel. People think going to vietnam to marry is because you can't find an american, it's easy and you don't have to deal with the fact that the vietnamese girl wants to get with you to come to the U.S and then leave you. But let's face it, it's not much different than marrying someone here and get divorced. My mom was the same way until she had a talk with my fiance then everything was a lot better. I didn't even tell my mom about when I went to see her in Vietnam. You're an adult, you can make your own decision. Soon or later, they will have to accept the fact about who you want to marry. It's fun and frustrating at the same time so good luck on your trip. BTW, where are you staying in vietnam? How did you 2 meet? If you met her random on the internet then it's a red flag so keep your guard up. Don't bring too much money back, bring around $2,000 only if you going for about a month. That's more than enough to travel to different places. If it's not enough, tell her to pay. If she is using you for the money and doesn't want to pay then it's another red flag. How is her education, religious belief...etc. Make sure she's on the same track as you.

[DreamNHope 9]

I understand how you feel. People think going to vietnam to marry is because you can't find an american, it's easy and you don't have to deal with the fact that the vietnamese girl wants to get with you to come to the U.S and then leave you. But let's face it, it's not much different than marrying someone here and get divorced. My mom was the same way until she had a talk with my fiance then everything was a lot better. I didn't even tell my mom about when I went to see her in Vietnam. You're an adult, you can make your own decision. Soon or later, they will have to accept the fact about who you want to marry. It's fun and frustrating at the same time so good luck on your trip. BTW, where are you staying in vietnam? How did you 2 meet? If you met her random on the internet then it's a red flag so keep your guard up. Don't bring too much money back, bring around $2,000 only if you going for about a month. That's more than enough to travel to different places. If it's not enough, tell her to pay. If she is using you for the money and doesn't want to pay then it's another red flag. How is her education, religious belief...etc. Make sure she's on the same track as you.

Incomplete statement. When marrying someone in the US, after the marriage, you two just live your lives happily forever (hopefully). And then after the divorce, if any, just pay up the associated cost of the procedure, then move on.

But if you're married to a Vnese, one of the following (possible more or all of the above for some people) things will HAPPEN:

1) You'll be married to her ENTIRE family, meaning once she gets here, expect to continue supporting her family (sending money to support them indefinitely). She will come back to VN more often than your bank account would like to (and you don't have a saying in that either. Either go along with her plan to keep her happy or else (see the second sentence of this reply)

2) After she's become a USC, expect to continue to deal with the USCIS because she will start to file petition to sponsor her family to come here (don't forget if she can't come back to see them, some of them will come over here to see her. Expect room and boarding and short term health insurance for those relatives)

3) In the unfortunate event you get divorced, expect to travel to VN to see your children (if you two have any together). She will bring them back to VN and use them as leverage to squeeze money outta you!

So it's NOT as cut and dry as you think!

Welcome to the game. BE PREPARED TO PAY dearly!

[sparth 1]

You're comparing the worse case scenario. You have the mentality of an ignorant vietnamese OG. If you're marrying someone that had 10 family members who has nothing then yeah, they will be more likely to use you. But who does that? Why would you marry someone that has no job, no education? This isn't the 90s. Family first, if you are educated you would know and she would know this. You're not marrying the whole family. Plus it's not bad to send a couple bucks here and there to her family, after all you did marry someone's daughter. But if you're poor and can't afford it, then you just can't. You act like if she's a USC she's going back to live in VN. You kidding me? Grow up.

[Tighfield 3]

Incomplete statement. When marrying someone in the US, after the marriage, you two just live your lives happily forever (hopefully). And then after the divorce, if any, just pay up the associated cost of the procedure, then move on.

But if you're married to a Vnese, one of the following (possible more or all of the above for some people) things will HAPPEN:

1) You'll be married to her ENTIRE family, meaning once she gets here, expect to continue supporting her family (sending money to support them indefinitely). She will come back to VN more often than your bank account would like to (and you don't have a saying in that either. Either go along with her plan to keep her happy or else (see the second sentence of this reply)

2) After she's become a USC, expect to continue to deal with the USCIS because she will start to file petition to sponsor her family to come here (don't forget if she can't come back to see them, some of them will come over here to see her. Expect room and boarding and short term health insurance for those relatives)

3) In the unfortunate event you get divorced, expect to travel to VN to see your children (if you two have any together). She will bring them back to VN and use them as leverage to squeeze money outta you!

So it's NOT as cut and dry as you think!

Welcome to the game. BE PREPARED TO PAY dearly!

Thanks for the rather grim outlook but who pissed in your Cheerios? Your comments seem rather bitter like you've been hurt in the past. Much like a scorned woman. I know marrying a Vietnamese woman is not all unicorns and rainbows but everyone is not going to have the same experience as you. It is much like a game of chance. Hell, life itself is like a game of chance. I agree with Sparth, grow up.