What do you think?

[HoussemAnna 20]

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[hossanna 0]

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i see nothing

[canadian_wife 1,822]

We dont argue. We dont fight.

I read your post and all the replies. This is the biggest concern for me. ALL couples fight. If you haven't yet, then I believe you are still in the puppy love phase where things are wonderful and everyone is on best behavior.

You do not seem 100% on this whole thing as indicative of you coming on here and looking for advice from strangers. That in itself is enough to slow things down. I truly believe if you know you know that he is the one for you. You do not seem 100% sure.

Good luck

[Ilovemyman 147]

Personally, "we don't fight, we don't argue" says nothing to me. Except perhaps that maybe the couple doesn't know each other well enough to have conflicted.

No two people feel the same way about every single issue. Even the strongest and happiest couples are bound to butt heads. Money? Politics? Not putting the toilet seat down?

Knowing how your partner acts and reacts during an argument is important. Do they fight fairly? Do they call names or blame? There's no way that in a marriage you will never argue.

I'd suggest taking your time. If the love is real, it will only grow over that time.

Good advise.

[dukeandduchess 141]

You still have a few months before the interview. How about a few more visits. I know it's not financially realistic but maybe you will feel more confident about your decision. If the visa is approved you have 6 months for him to enter on it, and another 90 days to get married. There is time.

That said, my husband and I were together for 2 years before we started the visa process. We were together for 3 before I moved here. I still feel like I didn't know him as well as I would have liked to before marrying him but that is the nature of the beast I guess.

Edited December 1, 2013 by dukeandduchess

[VickyP 34]

When my husband and I met, he was just in the divorce process from his ex wife. That was in February. We were talking as friends online and were giving each other advice. I was helping him to get back together with his ex and maybe try to work things out. I was separated from my ex for one month at that point.

It didn't work out with him and his ex wife.

We met in person May for the first time and fell in Love.

He proposed September and we got married in November.

In February we moved to the US.

Everything happened really quick and in between I was thinking oh boy I hope everything is right and I am making the right decision.

Well I did but you never know what will happen.

Time doesn't always mean something and the oh "wonderful USA" is not always something that everybody wants. If we were allowed by his ex wife to take the kids to Germany, we would be living there right now.

There were some people, friends and co workers that were asking my husband if he is looking for punishment? His ex is German and now he wants to get married to somebody from Germany again?

Sadly there is so much fraud out there that makes us foreigners look like criminals and I would love to punch every one of them scammers in the face.

I can honestly just recommend to listen to your heart and head at the same time.

Marriage is something that is not guaranteed and people can change.

Make the right decision for yourself but make sure you know that you have to live with this decision.

I wish you good luck in whatever you make!

Edited December 1, 2013 by VickyP

[AmyWrites 593]

We dont argue. We dont fight.

Of course you don't. You saw each other for what I'm sure was a romance-filled week worthy of bad reality TV, and talk some hours a day about your day to day lives, nothing controversial there.

Everyone argues. That you're not means; a. you avoid talking about controversial topics or b. for whatever reason one or both of you doesn't disagree in order to keep the peace and attain something at the end of this.

[c12h22oh 11]

So some of my very good friends confronted me tonight. The say they want the best for me and they love me. But that they dont have good vibes about my relationship. They say that im rushing into it. They dont know my fiance, they have never met him. They say how could i really know him, after only spending a week with him? They tell me to really think about this relationship. All i want is to be happy. I believe that my fiance is really in love with me, and he would never hurt me. I love him too. However i have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children, and how he will act here in the united states.

Do you think my friends are over reacting? Or do they have a point? Should i slow down and cancel the k-1?

That i have seen on here most of the relationships have gone on for years before filing. Maybe i should give it more time?

My advise this is a NO - NO you should take more time to knowing him better. Every decision you made now will have consequences.

[lynndy38 64]

I understand how you want to be with your boyfriend ASAP but I would really suggest you slow down.

After first meeting and spending a week with my now husband of course I wanted to start the visa process as fast as possible, i was head over heels and knew I wanted to be with him forever. But would that have been wise NO WAY!!!

We spent 4 years of Trans Atlantic flights visiting each other, the time spent together totaling about a year before we finally got married and began the process. Even when I finally moved over and although totally comfortable with him its still been challenging at times getting used to living with each other full time, the culture shock, missing family, homesickness just to mention a few.

Of course you're thinking with your heart, we all do that but please, just consider spending more time together before you have him move over especially seeing as you'll be inviting him into your childrens lives.

If it was just you I'd still encourage you to spend more time together but understand if you went ahead anyway, however putting the kids in the equation I'd say you could be taking a dangerous risk and you'd be very unwise if you didn't heed the majority of advice given in this thread.

No one is suggesting you end your relationship just simply give yourselves the chance that it can be the best it can be!!!!!

[senegallove29 0]

Personally speaking, sometimes friends are the worst people to get advice from especially if they are single. my thoughts to you is to pray about your situation, and leave people out of your business. Regardless of what money you sent him or what expenses he is paying for in the future, the worst mistake starting a marriage is putting others in your business. You are petitioning for him which means you have up to 90 day when he enters USA to observe him around your family and children, if you decide then before you marry him that he is not the one, he can leave the country un- married and you can petition for him later if you decide to do so. It's people on this site that visited each other several times but that don't get along any better, and I'm sure you have dated American guys and it didn't work out as well, so follow your heart or be lost in the shadows of your friends opinions. Good luck!

[AmyWrites 593]

Let me say it again, the K1 visa is NOT a "get to know each other" visa.

[Jon and Krissy 452]

I live in a conservative country where there's no divorce and getting an annulment costs an arm and a leg so marriage is something we really should think about.

Its up to you, really. I wouldn't want to spoil your happiness.

Well, divorce in the Philippines is called 'anulment' and is made difficult, might be more accurate.

Having lived there, I can say it is far from 'conservative.' Because of the legal hurdles, tons of couples there 1) cohabitate or 2) leave their families and start a 'second family.'

It isn't as if 'prohibiting' divorce has the desired effect....

[Cathi 5,748]

Personally speaking, sometimes friends are the worst people to get advice from especially if they are single. my thoughts to you is to pray about your situation, and leave people out of your business. Regardless of what money you sent him or what expenses he is paying for in the future, the worst mistake starting a marriage is putting others in your business. You are petitioning for him which means you have up to 90 day when he enters USA to observe him around your family and children, if you decide then before you marry him that he is not the one, he can leave the country un- married and you can petition for him later if you decide to do so. It's people on this site that visited each other several times but that don't get along any better, and I'm sure you have dated American guys and it didn't work out as well, so follow your heart or be lost in the shadows of your friends opinions. Good luck!

a k1 visa is not a come to the US so I can observe a virtual stranger visa, it is a visa to come to the US and get married. This is not good advice. She had children and she should follow her head when it comes to them. Obviously she has doubts or she wouldn't be asking.

To the OP, if I had doubts about a relationship the last place I would be asking advice is on a visa website. Your friends and family know you best. Why would you ask total strangers? Did you expect people to tell you it's a good idea?

[janet&adonis 57]

a k1 visa is not a come to the US so I can observe a virtual stranger visa, it is a visa to come to the US and get married. This is not good advice. She had children and she should follow her head when it comes to them. Obviously she has doubts or she wouldn't be asking.

To the OP, if I had doubts about a relationship the last place I would be asking advice is on a visa website. Your friends and family know you best. Why would you ask total strangers? Did you expect people to tell you it's a good idea?

I would expect responses from couples who have gone through this. I have already spoken to my friends. They have never gone through a visa process so they dont understand, i am reaching out to others who may have been in the same situation.

[christeen 966]

Personally speaking, sometimes friends are the worst people to get advice from especially if they are single. my thoughts to you is to pray about your situation, and leave people out of your business. Regardless of what money you sent him or what expenses he is paying for in the future, the worst mistake starting a marriage is putting others in your business. You are petitioning for him which means you have up to 90 day when he enters USA to observe him around your family and children, if you decide then before you marry him that he is not the one, he can leave the country un- married and you can petition for him later if you decide to do so. It's people on this site that visited each other several times but that don't get along any better, and I'm sure you have dated American guys and it didn't work out as well, so follow your heart or be lost in the shadows of your friends opinions. Good luck!

I think this advice and similar regarding the intent and purpose of the K1 visa is so totally wrong and off base and I have to say something.... The K1 visa is NOT a "lets hang out for 90 days and see how we like each other visa"... Something we forget is that These foreign fiancées have totally picked up their lives, said goodbye to friends and family, left jobs and spent money to com to America to MARRY us... It think it is so disrespectful to,think that if the they decide they are "really not that into getting married" or "it did not feel right" that they can just be sent back like a sweeter in the wrong color. How does that work for,the person,having to return to their country with nothing left? the USC remains at home with their family, friends and stuff?

I believe it is this wrongful usage of the K1 which many times results in the USC on here having to post things like "my fiancé won't leave, am I responsible for her or "how to get her deported" or the foreign fiancée is here asking how they can stay or what to do next?!

The K1 is NOT, NOT, NOT a observe him/her around my family, get to know you visa! It should instead be thought of as a "I am 100% SURE this is the love of my life and someone I want to marry (within 90 days) person!" Anything short of,that then STOP and get a tourist visa to get to know someone or go to,their country and visit.