What do you think?

[janet&adonis 57]

So some of my very good friends confronted me tonight. The say they want the best for me and they love me. But that they dont have good vibes about my relationship. They say that im rushing into it. They dont know my fiance, they have never met him. They say how could i really know him, after only spending a week with him? They tell me to really think about this relationship. All i want is to be happy. I believe that my fiance is really in love with me, and he would never hurt me. I love him too. However i have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children, and how he will act here in the united states.

Do you think my friends are over reacting? Or do they have a point? Should i slow down and cancel the k-1?

That i have seen on here most of the relationships have gone on for years before filing. Maybe i should give it more time?

[Avery Cates 1,141]

So some of my very good friends confronted me tonight. The say they want the best for me and they love me. But that they dont have good vibes about my relationship. They say that im rushing into it. They dont know my fiance, they have never met him. They say how could i really know him, after only spending a week with him? They tell me to really think about this relationship. All i want is to be happy. I believe that my fiance is really in love with me, and he would never hurt me. I love him too. However i have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children, and how he will act here in the united states.

Do you think my friends are over reacting? Or do they have a point? Should i slow down and cancel the k-1?

That i have seen on here most of the relationships have gone on for years before filing. Maybe i should give it more time?

If you've only spent 1 week with him, I would stop and consider just what you're doing, you can't really know someone after a week. Also, what country is he from?

Marriage is a big deal, not something that should be rushed into.

There's really no harm in getting to know him more first.

[christeen 966]

I agree, I think some more time might be warranted... What country is he from (as some embassies need to see a lot of together time for approvals) so you might be rushing into something that is going to have a difficult time to be approved. Plus, consider, you have children and you are bringing a person into their lives! I think they (your kids) deserve more than a week of your time invested for something that important. It is a major decision that should NEVER be rushed into... Plus, if you (or family friends) had any doubt of his intentions, putting a "pause" and holding off on applying should settle them... If it is true love... He will wait forever for you... It would definetly be a test for both of you to be sure you can endure not just this process, but the ups and downs you will face in the future... I say when in doubt, hold out... No harm in taking a step back, go for a visit (or better yet have him come visit you and your family)...

[apple21 953]

I live in a conservative country where there's no divorce and getting an annulment costs an arm and a leg so marriage is something we really should think about.

Its up to you, really. I wouldn't want to spoil your happiness.

[Dan from MI 23]

So some of my very good friends confronted me tonight. The say they want the best for me and they love me. But that they dont have good vibes about my relationship. They say that im rushing into it. They dont know my fiance, they have never met him. They say how could i really know him, after only spending a week with him? They tell me to really think about this relationship. All i want is to be happy. I believe that my fiance is really in love with me, and he would never hurt me. I love him too. However i have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children, and how he will act here in the united states.

Do you think my friends are over reacting? Or do they have a point? Should i slow down and cancel the k-1?

That i have seen on here most of the relationships have gone on for years before filing. Maybe i should give it more time?

So your good friends confronted you tonight. They don't have good vibes about this relationship. They never met him. You spent a week with him.

Most very good friends that we all have are those that we trusted the most and they are the type of friends that would never screw you. All have no good vibes about this especially since they never met him. It does not help that you only spent a week with him. Granted he may not have been able to get an approval to come to US but there are always introducing on Skype.

The thing that concerns me is your statement "However I have not spent enough time with him to know if he will be abusive or not, how he will treat my children...." That is pretty Strong to be wondering if he will be abusive or not because most people that are at that stage in relationship to want to marry would know and trust by now that their future spouse wouldn't be abusive and love their wife or husband's children. Do you want to gamble that he will not harm your children?

No your friends are not overreacting. They are probably kicking themselves now for not having the face to tell you sooner.

They are not the only people that you have to overcome the distrust. You have the interviewer. He will see what your friends see.

It is your choice to continue the relationship but you have a lot stacking against you to overcome before he can touch american soil. I am not even saying that you should end the relationship. If he is truly in love with you. He will stay and continue the dating relationship. I know that it is more time but if you think about it, dating portion of relationship is a tiny part of the marriage relationship.

I'm only telling you because you ask what I think and I am concern for you. So... slow down and continue the dating relationship. Trust me, you will then see the man he really is.

Slow down lady

[Tosh Love 77]

I think you already know the answer and just want some validation, but my thoughts to you is to trust your instinct, it will never let you down. Best of Luck!!

[janet&adonis 57]

If you've only spent 1 week with him, I would stop and consider just what you're doing, you can't really know someone after a week. Also, what country is he from?

Marriage is a big deal, not something that should be rushed into.

There's really no harm in getting to know him more first.

I agree, I think some more time might be warranted... What country is he from (as some embassies need to see a lot of together time for approvals) so you might be rushing into something that is going to have a difficult time to be approved. Plus, consider, you have children and you are bringing a person into their lives! I think they (your kids) deserve more than a week of your time invested for something that important. It is a major decision that should NEVER be rushed into... Plus, if you (or family friends) had any doubt of his intentions, putting a "pause" and holding off on applying should settle them... If it is true love... He will wait forever for you... It would definetly be a test for both of you to be sure you can endure not just this process, but the ups and downs you will face in the future... I say when in doubt, hold out... No harm in taking a step back, go for a visit (or better yet have him come visit you and your family)...

He is from dominican republic. I talk to him everyday, we skype all the time, but "in person" i have only spent a week and felt confident enough to start the k-1 process. As far as my statement about the kind of person he is, i feel he would cause no harm to me or my children, but i still have doubts in that area.

[clairegie 265]

I am not one to talk because I've only spent a month with my fiance in our 3 year relationship. You have great friends. I love that they talk to you instead of gossiping behind your back.

My thoughts on this are if he has never done anything to be distrusted, then he shouldn't be treated like a guilty man. The only way to know really is if you go through the K1. cancelling it and having more "1 week visits" wont really help much because you both will most likely be always in your good behavior.

The only thing you have to consider is - Does he make you happy?

If he does, then go for it. If things get sour, then at least you gave it a try.

Edited December 1, 2013 by iammrsregi

[Ilovemyman 147]

For me time isnt important when you love a person.

First time ii spent with my love it was only 3 days after 2 months he filled out my petition k1, we talked for about 5 months on skype and he came back on september and we spent 13 days more.

He is american and his friends tell him the same things, his friend tell him that i only want to go to usa and after i be there i will leave and he is going to be alone.

But i tell you it doesnt matter what his friends think , i love my fiance , real love.

I am from dominican republic , his friends told him at the bigin that i only wanted his money.

And you know what?, he never send me money because i work here and i win enough money for living, never i have asked him for money.

Now his friends have the mouth closse with the money, but now they say that i want to be in usa and leave and let him alone, but that isnt truth, i love my fiance and i want to be with him for ever.

My fiance is 24 years older than me, but it doesnt natter we love each other.

Follow your heart.

My fiance's friends have bab vives about me too, but they are wrong

I hope your fiance be real and i hope he really loves you.

[janet&adonis 57]

I am not one to talk because I've only spent a month with my fiance in our 3 year relationship. You have great friends. I love that they talk to you instead of gossiping behind your back.

My thoughts on this are if he has never done anything to be distrusted, then he shouldn't be treated like a guilty man. The only way to know really is if you go through the K1. cancelling it and having more "1 week visits" wont really help much because you both will most likely be always in your good behavior.

The only thing you have to consider is - Does he make you happy?

If he does, then go for it. If things get sour, then at least you gave it a try.

He has never done or said anything to make me think he would be rude, disrespectful, abusive, or with a short temper. I have been in a abusive relationship before, so i know the signs. However my friends pointed out, that my fiance will act good, wonderful, and everything just to have a better life here in america. They say that right now i am in control of where he stays, supporting him, so that he really has no where to go. But once he starts working and being more in control of his life that things may change.

Also he has mentioned that his father has been abusive to him and siblings when he was younger, so im worried that he will too. Our relationship is good. We dont argue or disagree or fight. So its hard to think that he would be like his dad.

[christeen 966]

Of course he has not been abusive to you or your kids... YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN IN EACH OTHERS PRESENCE FOR ONE WEEK! Did he meet your kids? If you have any doubts slow it down!! Seriously, you have your whole life to be together... Don't rush into anything...

How long have you been communicating with him in total? Have you met his family? See where he lives? His friends? There will be many Hurdles at the interview especially when it comes to establishing bonifides... Why not take another trip down there while things are processing and see? Just think as you are making decisions for your AND your children's lives.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

He has never done or said anything to make me think he would be rude, disrespectful, abusive, or with a short temper. I have been in a abusive relationship before, so i know the signs. However my friends pointed out, that my fiance will act good, wonderful, and everything just to have a better life here in america. They say that right now i am in control of where he stays, supporting him, so that he really has no where to go. But once he starts working and being more in control of his life that things may change.

Also he has mentioned that his father has been abusive to him and siblings when he was younger, so im worried that he will too. Our relationship is good. We dont argue or disagree or fight. So its hard to think that he would be like his dad.

If his father was abused toward to your fiance when he was younger it does not mean automatically he will doing that to you. Some people took lesson from that and they refrain themselves to do so because they knew it is not created a pleasant feeling.

My questions are, do you send him money in regular basis, does he have a job, have you talked to one of his family members? Some people could disguise their intentions for sometime but not forever. Listen to your heart and thinking clearly. Everyone is in long distance relationship will hear these things from their friends. My friends and my fiance friends did so but we are going stronger and have been in relationship for more than five years now.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Girl from Celebes

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

I think you have wise friends.
In my opinion, one week is not enough time to know a person well enough to marry them. The Dominican Republic is not that far from Texas. Is there a way you can plan a few more trips to spend some time with him?

Has he introduced you to his family? Friends? If so, does he seem honored and proud to introduce you as his future wife?
Think of it this way. If you met an American guy online and he lived in another state, would you be willing to marry him after spending one week together?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

He has never done or said anything to make me think he would be rude, disrespectful, abusive, or with a short temper. I have been in a abusive relationship before, so i know the signs. However my friends pointed out, that my fiance will act good, wonderful, and everything just to have a better life here in america. They say that right now i am in control of where he stays, supporting him, so that he really has no where to go. But once he starts working and being more in control of his life that things may change.

Also he has mentioned that his father has been abusive to him and siblings when he was younger, so im worried that he will too. Our relationship is good. We dont argue or disagree or fight. So its hard to think that he would be like his dad.

I hate to say it but I think that women who have been victims of domestic violence should at the most never petition for a foreign partner, or at least go extremely extremely slowly. They, unfortunately, are great targets for scammers and other abusive partners. From your timeline, you met him for one week after 4 months of talking online, and petitioned for him immediately. You have not even known him one year yet. If he comes from an abusive family then he is much more likely to be abusive himself.

Your friends care for you and if they think it is rushed, then I would listen to them.

You should read the posts by jensi, I believe it was? If anyone can help remember...

He will wait for you if he loves you. I would slow down and take a lot more time. Best of luck to you.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[janet&adonis 57]

If his father was abused toward to your fiance when he was younger it does not mean automatically he will doing that to you. Some people took lesson from that and they refrain themselves to do so because they knew it is not created a pleasant feeling.

My question is, do you send him money in regular basis, does he have a job, have you talked to one of his family members? Some people could disguise their intentions for sometime but not forever. Listen to your heart and thinking clearly. Everyone is in long distance relationship will hear these things from their friends. My friends and my fiance friends did so but we are going stronger and have been in relationship for more than five years now.

Of course he has not been abusive to you or your kids... YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN IN EACH OTHERS PRESENCE FOR ONE WEEK! Did he meet your kids? If you have any doubts slow it down!! Seriously, you have your whole life to be together... Don't rush into anything...

How long have you been communicating with him in total? Have you met his family? See where he lives? His friends? There will be many Hurdles at the interview especially when it comes to establishing bonifides... Why not take another trip down there while things are processing and see? Just think as you are making decisions for your AND your children's lives.

Been communicating since march of this year. I sent him money in small amounts maybe 3 times. He works. I have met his family, and while i was there we went all over his town, he never hid me so to speak, and always introduced me as his girlfriend. I have seen where he lives and works. I have spoken to his siblings, his mom, his dad. All have told me that he is deeply in love with me. He has only met my kids by skype.

My heart is that i love him. I want a future with him. However my friends are concerned, and have doubts and that makes me think about things, and of course my kids are my first priority, so i will always protect them

Edited December 1, 2013 by janet&adonis