long distance relationship struggles

[Rich and Wen 101]

But the end result is so worth it! My love came here 3 weeks ago, and I feel like I am in a dream, and feel like I never wish to wake up.

She is my miracle and I am her miracle!

Stay with it, you will be rewarded in the end.

[Michele1003 12]

Trust me I KNOW exactly how you feel. I'm a us citizen and was in Mexico with my fiancé for two years. when we decided it wasn't good for our baby anymore I returned to the united states LAST YEAR in july. I didn't get to see him till the end of july this year! Its way too expensive for me to fly there with our daughter and trying to make sure I have enough money for this process. Thankfully we get to talk and Skype often but its still not the same. our daughter is two and he is missing her grow up and im raising her alone. I have my good days and my bad days. and days when I just want to cry. I feel like giving up all the time. we have been together almost 5 years and I had went to mexico because when he left the us I couldn't stand being without him. but then it was just me and not a child also. I just try and stay strong and keep myself busy and take it day by day. my fiancé is now working in another state so we only get to talk ONCE a day now online. we can't talk on the phone anymore because he doesn't have wifi. it makes things even more difficult. and believe me we fight about stuff and its always stupid stuff. this is definitely the hardest struggle ive ever had. and its nice to know I'm not alone feeling lonely and depressed about this.

[godlove 29]

Just hang in there, at the end of the day is all worth it as long as you two love each other. We went through thesame thing but its all behind us now, we are now together, very happy and even much inlove than we were before and if I had to do it again I will because it definately paid off. Its only a matter of time and patience, anyway just curious you got engage in May what took you so long to fill?

[makulit909 4]

Besides love, trust, and perseverance.. communication is one of the most important aspects of long distance relationship. My fiance and I were summer childhood sweetheart. We only saw each other during summer vacation as he lived a bit far away from me. It was in 1980's that in spite of our love to each other, communication was impossible on school days. We didn't have computer and telephone lines in our hometown. I had to commute 20 miles away in order to go to a telephone company and give him a call during school time. For two years, our LDR failed. Destiny set us apart but thankfully, in our new era of high technology, FB drew us together again. We are now even thousand of miles apart but with a stronger love and faith to each other having a much better communication tools, we promised ourselves that nothing will set us apart ever again. It is still a struggle.. but at least we can see, talk, and chat everyday.. I can text him 24/7 anytime whenever I miss him and needed to hear his voice... and soon..very soon.. in God's time.. all this LDR struggles will be done when he is finally with me here in US.. that everything we've been through are all worth it at the end..

Hang in there.. and to quote what Hank told me "as you go through life... look for the rainbows"

Edited November 29, 2013 by makulit909

[Misha'sgirl 44]

I wanted to ask or survey so to speak, how many of you,(K1) and me, deal with no seeing your fiancee for months at a time?

I met my fiancee Sept 2012 on Facebook, it didn't take us long yo fall in love, February 2013 was our first face to face meeting, it was like being with an old friend, I returned again in May and became engaged, (no Ring But tattoos of our names over our heart) I've gone to see him 2 other times, once with my son, so as you all may know this becomes very expensive.

The question here is phone calls and texting isn't always enough, or even possible, due to time difference, work schedule, and expenses, how do you keep from fighting or feeling completely miserable going through this?

My fiancee and I know we love each other, its the distance between us and this process that gets in our way, and causes us to just lose it!

Have anyone here experienced this too?

KTich ♥

I am priviledged to be with my fiance now. I've been here with him for four months. But before, we would just skype, talk on the phone, email, send pics and vids... That's all you can do. Be patient and pray.

[KTichUsZim 3]

Misha's girl you are lucky, these past weeks have been a nightmare, we just not getting along, his work schedule and limited time is just killing me, and we are right in the middle of Holidays. Which is depressing.

[Michele1003 12]

Misha's girl you are lucky, these past weeks have been a nightmare, we just not getting along, his work schedule and limited time is just killing me, and we are right in the middle of Holidays. Which is depressing.

I go through the same thing. and it causes fights and stuff. its hard. I just try and keep believing it will happen, if it ever happens

[NickD 202]

Latest thing is this google app with an android smart phone is WhatsApp, where you can send videos or photos that cost 99 cents per year. And you don't have to be at a computer to use it, use it anywhere within cell phone range. Watching our new grandson grow and always seems to get through sooner or later.

Venezuela's infrastructure sure sucks, remember those days, if not the internet, was their electrical or land lines and just a short cell phone call was a small fortune, but seemed to always work just to say goodnight.

Who said parting was such sweet sorrow? Never was sweet.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Look forward to the things you enjoy vs complaining about the time apart. It's very hard. Most of us on VJ know the difficulties. Send him emails or letters. Packages with love notes and gifts. Leave a msg on the phone and share some important detail of your day. Be thankful you have someone in your life that is worth all this effort. Figure out what you two will do when he's finally in the USA as well. It's not an easy adjustment. Even coming from Canada I have things to adjust to that make me want to go back.

This.

[Christine22 2]

I agree with all that is said above. Sure it is hard but why would you want to spend your face time together crabbing about things that you have no control over? We don't dwell on that. We spend face time on skype every waking hour. Whether it is playing, talking, eating, living.. we plan about our wedding and honeymoon, talk about our plans when he arrives, all the fun things that you look forward to!

I think that since "we" ( meaning us VJers) have it harder from the beginning with our relationships, it does test your limits. so yea, only the strong survive.

So as you sit back and wait ... and then wait some more while your case stagnates in the back load at the NVC; think about celebrating the holidays late, or just next year

[KTichUsZim 3]

I am inspired by EVERY one's story of commitment and courage to endure months and years of seperation from your loved ones and to remain dedicated,

These are the tests that only true love can pass...

Keep em coming VJ family, your helping many!

God bless

[festamati89 40]

it's hard long distance sucks I haven't seen my husband since August and the moment I came back I put in his paper work in 24/hours I won't be able to go back which sucks because of work. So I am hoping this process speeds up it's hard when they want us to prove a legit relationship when we barely see our significant other. I spend less time with my husband than with and it sucks

[Ilovemyman 147]

Only the strong survive

That is truth only the strong and real relationship survive to this process

[NickD 202]

Our major problem was not with my wife, but with her young daughter, leaving her stranded in her home country was on an option for her. And doubt if I would have gone along with that with a mom that deserts her own flesh and blood. To make matters worse, her ex left their country, had to trace him down. Even with my wife having full custody of her, still needed his permission for his daughter to leave the country. Not only this, but his permission to board the plane with the exact flight number and date.

This added about another ten months to our wait, tracking him down and fighting with him in their court of law. He tried to blackmail us, but the ace we had was he owed seven years of back alimony and child support payments and was finally caught, we would forgive this in exchange for his release. But this was only part of the problem, dealing with two different countries with corrupt judges and notaries. The average court hearing dates was at least two years.

I got around that by contacting them and making, lets call this an expedient fee to their Miami bank accounts. Also had the help from one of the best immigration attorneys in the US. You kind of get the attitude, if its meant to be, it will happen.

Ha, did cross my mind a couple of times, only thing we needed was a death certificate, but avoided that. Wife to be said with all of her complications, do I still love her. Event to this day, still don't say, I love you, say, I still love you, she was that one in a billion to me. Yes, I blew my stack a couple of times, but not directed at her, would never do that. You learn what has to be done, and do it.

Dealing with the USCIS was a different story, have to be nice and provide them with what ever proof they wanted. Even to the extend of a completely worthless joint utility bill. Like they even give a darn whose name you put down. If the USCIS had any brains at all, and they don't. Would know any utility company puts a lien against the property owner. They couldn't care less what names you put on that bill. Never easy dealing with idiots, but you have to if you want to keep your family together.

[KTichUsZim 3]

Unfortunately, me and my love haven't been able to message each other in 3 days, stupid power outages in South Africa, and I have been a REAL you know what, I feel terrible we can't plan our life like we used to, I got my NOA-1 hard copy in the mail today and although we've been bickering back and forth lately, it made me realize why I'm doing this, going through this, because when we are together we are happy and in love..

Keep em coming I need your support.

Thanks