African male culture...

[LovinLiberia 0]

LOL, they sure do!

[onwa 6]

This thread is funny....

In my situation, we dealt with the meaning of words by having conversations. Mainly, it took my husband realizing that my intention is not disprespectful towards him in using certain words and that I have been using them for over 25 years and i will not change overnight. On my side, I do try to not use words or phrases that I have now learned are offensive to my man. but if i happen to say one, its not a big deal anymore. he knows my intentions. If i want to get a point across in an arguement that what he is saying is rude. i am ask him if understands the meaning or consequences of what he is really saying---and he does the same with me too.

Both partners need lots of patience in a bicultural relationship.

[GOLDEN.247 0]

My phrase is "shut up" "for real" "shut up". I usually say this when I am excited or find out about some exciting news. So, when he told me about a mutual friend having a baby I responded with "shut up". The phone was dead for a minute and I said are you still there? He said you told me to shut up and why did you say that to me? I could tell he was offended and I tried to explain. End result he didn't like it and was offended.

I'll try better next time.

[ForeverAmen 0]

My phrase is "shut up" "for real" "shut up". I usually say this when I am excited or find out about some exciting news. So, when he told me about a mutual friend having a baby I responded with "shut up". The phone was dead for a minute and I said are you still there? He said you told me to shut up and why did you say that to me? I could tell he was offended and I tried to explain. End result he didn't like it and was offended.

I'll try better next time.

This is so true! My husband is from Cameroon and I can totally relate.

[Ta Ta 1]

This thread is funny....

In my situation, we dealt with the meaning of words by having conversations. Mainly, it took my husband realizing that my intention is not disprespectful towards him in using certain words and that I have been using them for over 25 years and i will not change overnight. On my side, I do try to not use words or phrases that I have now learned are offensive to my man. but if i happen to say one, its not a big deal anymore. he knows my intentions. If i want to get a point across in an arguement that what he is saying is rude. i am ask him if understands the meaning or consequences of what he is really saying---and he does the same with me too.

Both partners need lots of patience in a bicultural relationship.

good way to word it. I may start using that myself. Starting today !

[taurean 0]

By now I think my husband is understanding my sarcasm so it's not a big deal anymore. But early on, he just didn't get it. So I understand totally about the taking-it-literally situation. My issue sometimes with him is his tone. He will mean no harm in asking me to do something, but sometimes I feel like it's my father asking me. At first I found myself snapping back because well....I just don't like to be *told* what to do. However, knowing him, I know he's not the type to be that way. And any time I bring up his tone, he re-iterates that he is not trying to act like the "chief of the house." So I chalk it up the tone thing as a nuance used in speaking his native language. After spending time in his country I have learned to understand that sometimes peope just talk to each other differently than we might here.

[Moonie 0]

My phrase is "shut up" "for real" "shut up". I usually say this when I am excited or find out about some exciting news. So, when he told me about a mutual friend having a baby I responded with "shut up". The phone was dead for a minute and I said are you still there? He said you told me to shut up and why did you say that to me? I could tell he was offended and I tried to explain. End result he didn't like it and was offended.

I'll try better next time.

[Destiny'sJourney 0]

Hello everyone,

My fiance is Nigerian. Any insight into Nigerian men? I haven't noticed too many cultural differences thus far. However, we are near the end of the K1 process and haven't lived together yet.

Shanon

[boo boo 1]

In nigeria there are basically 3 tribal types....ibo, hausa, and yorba. I have friends from all 3 tribes.....and they have there differences. My husband is ibo, and he is a Christian man.....we do have our "differences", but we respect eachother and understand that God created us that way....to have our own thoughts and theories.

His upbringing and how women should be is different.....I respect that...but I have to also let him know that we are not in Nigeria and my coulture is different....it is a man/women's world here It is very important to recognize and respect the differences.....but to accept and love eachother regardless and build a foundation together that will include eachother's differences

[randolady 1]

But anyway, the only thing I've had to get used to is that sometimes when something is bothering him, he doesn't want to discuss it right away.

Ombeni does that too! I think it's partially to do with the fact that Tanzanian society in general is more "polite" than what I'm used to. It's impolite to talk about your problems, or something. That's verrrrry frustrating sometimes, when he's visibly upset and tries to convince me that he's fine. It's okay to be unhappy sometimes!

That's what concerns me most about making this transition... there are going to be unexpected, unpleasant things he will experience here, and he's just going to bottle everything up.

[jms 0]

I haven't noticed much of a gap with mine, either. Liberians are very American in their thinking so we agree and have the same viewpoints on a lot of things. Booker is very open with me. I think he may be a little more open than I am and he is always willing to "discuss" things. One of the cultural clashes I have noticed are the meaning of words (as Omoba mentioned earlier). He takes a word for it's literal meaning and I am a very sarcastic and hardly use a word for it's literal meaning. That can cause some friction between us sometimes because I see it as a joke and he sees it as an insult. I told him he better lighten up before he gets to America or he'll be walking around offended and feeling insulted all day. He will have to learn that Americans can use one word in several different ways, not just the literal meaning in the dictionary.

LOL! That is so true. My fiance takes things in the literal sense as well.

LOL....the word that keeps me in trouble and I love to use....DUH....lol

Yeah, I once told my fiance' via e=mail that I just could not wait until he got here meaning I would be so excited. He responded with a long letter about patience and please don't say such things as he wanted me to wait for him etc.!! Many times things like this have happened, especially when e-mailing!

[LovinLiberia 0]

that just made me laugh sooo hard!

[*JG* 2]

My phrase is "shut up" "for real" "shut up". I usually say this when I am excited or find out about some exciting news. So, when he told me about a mutual friend having a baby I responded with "shut up". The phone was dead for a minute and I said are you still there? He said you told me to shut up and why did you say that to me? I could tell he was offended and I tried to explain. End result he didn't like it and was offended.

I'll try better next time.

I don't want to be rude in any way; but from your timeline of time actually spent in one's company, I'm thinking you really do need to talk to a lot of people on here who have experienced marriage to Nigerian men.

[Ta Ta 1]

Yeah, I once told my fiance' via e=mail that I just could not wait until he got here meaning I would be so excited. He responded with a long letter about patience and please don't say such things as he wanted me to wait for him etc.!! Many times things like this have happened, especially when e-mailing!

We had the same misunderstanding......

[discerned1 0]

Or whenever I'd sarcastically say the jargon word, "Whatever", after he say something smarty pants, he will literally crack up laughing on that one.