Freaked

[Melo 1]

Have had a major fight with the woman who gave birth to me... won't call her mother coz the word implies love and caring something she cannot give to her daughter... she never has and never will... she can only love my brother... ** I should be used to it by now... her whole fcuking family is the same... typical fcuking Indian values... and one wonders why I hate this fcuking country!!! Anyway I just told her I do not want her or any member of her disgusting family at my wedding... am still freaked... don't know what to do to calm down... have never been able to understand how women can love a child if it is the right gender and hate/deprive another if it is not... ** all these fcuking women should have nothing but sons... then there will be no women to marry their darling sons. The more I see of this country the more I loathe it... the societal values are so full of sh#$ - the films are full of sh$% - bias is inherent in this country... try talking to an untouchable and you will know... they say there is no longer untouchability here... just as there is no gender bias... like hell there isn't...

mel,,find your own happiness. everyones family functions differently.

different countries,expectations,,the good the bad..

I am american wishing that I could have a wonderful mother/daughter

relationship but over all my life have ran into brick walls with it.

just wishing you well and lots of happiness in your future. be good to

yourself and build your own house of love and family.

regardless of how my mother treats me sometimes or how I treat her,,wich

I never have disrespected her even at the worst of times.

I love her ,thats just me. my husband is from pakistan,,his family is so loving

to there children ,the daughters as much as sons and I can tell you my husband

is so shocked to see in america many people not just me that have broken

relationships with there parents.

I think it has to do with how the family IS not the country where your from

exactly because in my husbands family,,no one is left out,infact they talk to him more

then my own parents have talked to me. a world away and they communicate beautifully.

my parents were against me and jani getting maried,,they turned there backs to me

for a whole yr but I still invited them to the weding and guess what? they came.

now ofcource there was a big fight between us over something so SILLY..so havent seen

her in 6 months wich is a shame being half way thru a difficult pregnancy.

I try to make friends with her but she's prideful.

take it from me.. be kind but step back into your own ways and make your own

brand new family . take care I feel so bad for you,because I know what it's like..

I have always felt like the black sheep in my family..u know the expression ,,(the odd one)

haha.. thats ok someone has to be,,I am happy regardless cause of my kids and husband.

All the best

Sadia

Ah Sadia... I am the black sheep of my family too... I refuse to kow tow to their shitty norms... refused to have an arranged marriage... in fact took the greatest pleasure in telling some bloke who came to take a look at me (the one and only time that happened) that I did not fancy him... would not have him in my bed... that he would not get to England through me and told him to go find himself an amenable Indian cow... that was in 1974... heck I love doing the exact opposite of what is the norm for an Indian... coz I ain't Indian and any attempt to try and turn me into one of those mealy mouthed creatures has been and will be vigorously resisted.

My Gypsy has given me so much love... really I yearn to be with him... and sooner or later I will...

[Melo 1]

Well my utterly charming mother has continued from where she left off yesterday... she has once again brought me to that point where I'm struggling to even function... with a mother like this you don't need enemies!!!

[Peggy 1]

Sorry to hear she is still running her mouth to ya.

I just wouldnt talk to her for a few days.

[Melo 1]

The problem is I can't stop myself from telling her what's what... her accusations... the ###### she comes up with... she knows how to push my buttons... I have lived almost 50 years with that woman... ###### I do not know how I have survived... everytime she says something I react and finally I get to telling her how much I loathe her ###### family... and then of course everything spirals out of control...

[IAMSADIA 0]

speaking from experience let alot of time pass,don't contact her.

I did that before and it's worked but lately she's just as stubborn as an old mule.

even my going to have a baby isn't precious enough for her to shake hands and forget..

for the first time in history I stood up to my mother and so now she has completely

decided to not talk to me I guess.

I'll tell u what SHE did. she went to one of my best friends and interigated her on my personal life adding

a few things she didnt like about me..one of them was dying my hair dark..OH god like that is the end of civilization. she mentioned a few things about me,one of them being ungrateful to her..me and my husband forgetting her and dad..oh ya like that happend. Iv'e only kissed her butt for my whole 40 years almost.

trying to please her has always been such a challenge for me all my life,nothing is good enough.

she isn't this way with just me so I dont have to feel TOO special in this I guess but my advice is ...

even if your mom kicks screams disrespects you on and on.. go on with your life thats all you can do.

forget the emails and phone calls via u and her.

my mom praises and admires my two brothers,,I am almost positive she would never dare ask there freinds about there lives ya know?? it was SO embarassing for me I had to stand up foronce and tell her I did not apreciate that and so this I guess is my punishment.

but she's the one going to be hurt in the end ..she's got a baby grandaughter on the way,something she has ALWAYS wanted knowing shes got all boys no girls. wait there is ME but do I count? hahaha.

something to think about..

families!! space and time thats all I can say!

good luck and hang in there ..I feel for ya

Sadia

[Melo 1]

Familes!!! Jeez makes you wonder!!! Motherly love unconditional??? Like bloody bollocks it is!!!

[Autumnal 25]

I'm so sorry you have to endure this.