J1 to Marriage - AOS? KR? IR1?

[KT Time 0]

I am currently doing some research on the best way that I can marry my boyfriend (soon to be fiance!) and stay in the US. For the record - whoever makes movies that make this look easy should be sued for the easyness it portrays!

Here is my situation. I would like to state for the record that I have NO INTENT of doing anything illegal or dishonest, my relationship is bona fide and I love my boyfriend very much. I am just merely looking at all angles.

This year I met my boyfriend when I was working on a J1 visa exchange program for 4 months. (actually we met before that in January when I was on VWP but we just started our relationship this summer) We fell in love - as crazy as it sounds - and became really close. We started talking about marriage in September before I left but decided, even though it felt right we wanted to be sure as it is such a big step - so decided that I should come home and we would continue to have a long distance relationship to see how things go. Things have been wonderful - I feel like we are closer than ever even though we are apart and we are looking to take the next step.

Being the over-cautious person that I am I wanted to do some research first of all my options and - thank you to everyone has posted in this forum as what I have read so far is INCREDIBLY helpful.

My question though is this.....

I will be applying for a J1 visa again to come back to work next summer (2014) I have looked at options of K1/3, IR1/CR1 visa's and - we just want to do it right and be together.

If I have 'intention' of marrying my fiance while I am on the J1 visa - this is fraud right? But if we plan to marry at a different time - and then we impulsively decide to marry this summer... that is ok since I have not entered with the intent of marrying? I will also clarify that I do have a job that I return to every year so this would not be the reason I would return in the summer - primary reason would be for work - marriage would be the bonus.

I could then file for an adjustment of status to stay - but if we got married in say, May - does that mean I need to quit my job? What if we got married in September after I had finished working? I understand that I would need to apply for an EAD to work again - If we got married in May, could I continue to work on my J1 and then file to continue to work in September when I was finished?

We are talking about getting engaged when I return to visit in December - but being engaged I think will potentially hinder me getting the J1 visa since I would have to declare that (right? or no?) Again - I don't want to do anything wrong, but... if we were not engaged until afterwards then maybe it does not count.

We then thought about getting married in Dec right away and filing for a IR1 - but that means I will not be able to return for this summer to my job that I have already made a commitment to, and then we will need to be apart for a number of months before I could return.

Can anyone give any advice? I feel like if we had just got married in September then we could have done the AOS and I could have stayed with him while that was pending and potentially have the ability to work again now. Has anyone applied for a J1 visa that was engaged? And then gotten married - did you stay and AOS or leave and IR1?

Thank you to anyone who can help!!

Points to note: Again - NOT trying to do anything illegal but looking for the best, quickest (cheapest) option that allows us to be together

My J1 visa is NOT subject to the 2 year home residency rule - I have had multiple J1's including an 18 month internship and none of these have had these restriction and I would be HIGHLY surprised if this one did.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

My advice is to not make plans at this time. Come to the US and see how you feel then. Be honest that you have a US boyfriend on your current J-1 application.

[howtosurvive 43]

I came here on a j1 back in 2008 I met my husband and we got married years later and I was able to adjust my status. the only problem u may encounter is if the 2 year rule apply but for the four months program I doubt it do. if u marry him in may u need to update it at ur job for tax purposes and if u decide to stay beyond September u have to apply for i130 and i485 and i765 to get a ead to work. its not a complex thing but u should never come on a non immigrant visa with the intent to marry its illegal but u marrying a usc waives the "crime".