Not sure whether to come home or stay in Ghana

[cybria 0]

Hello all,

This is not a visa question per say, but I figured I could probably get some input here.

First off, I haven't posted here in a long while. I first joined when I got married back in 2005 to a Ghanaian citizen, who has since gotten his U.S citizenship. In 2011 I decided it was time for us to part ways. We're now separated and in the midst of a divorce, but we have a seven year old daughter between us named Lilian. Both my ex and Lil have been living in Ghana for the past three years. I recently returned about a month ago, and I'm so glad to be reunited with my little one. I also have a new love of my life, who is also Ghanaian. I'm very happy here since Ghana is my second home, and I'm with my friends and loved ones again on this side of the Atlantic.

Well originally my plan was to stay in Ghana for a year, then return to California with my daughter. But there are a few things making me reconsider that.

1. During the week Lilian stays with her grandparents. Grandma works on the University of Ghana campus, and since she's a university employee, Lilian goes to the university primary school. She's very much adjusted to Ghanaian life. I like that she's getting such a good education here and she's learning Ghanaian culture.

2. Me and my boo are very much in love, and we are seriously thinking about marriage. He's turning 30 this year, he has a business, and though there are a lot of inconvenient aspects of life in Ghana, he wants to stay here and not move to the states. He's not crazy about having to go back to school to do his bachelor's degree over again just to get a decent job. He also heres from his friends in the states that life is hard there right now. I've told him it's not as bad as they claim, but he still seems set on staying in Ghana.

3. My ex is pretty bitter at me for leaving him, though I had good reason to. He doesn't have any plans of returning to the states, and he shows no signs of wanting to compromise for our daughter's sake. Even though he rubs me like sandpaper, Lilian loves her dad, and I don't know if I could take her to live so far away from him (even if she, say, came back to visit every summer...it might not be enough). On the other hand, I have lived without her for almost three years on just phone cards and letters.

As much as I love my home state, I still have to consider the other people in my life. I love Ghana very much, but my part of me is still very much in California. What do you think? I might not have included enough detail, so I'd be happy to clarify on anything.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I just wanted to salute as a true Mother because you're putting the actual and real best interest of the child in consideration.

Good luck on whatever you choose.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Your Ghanaian BF does not wish to move to the USA but you are considering taking the child and live in CA.

You would be without your BF then and the child without her father.
Seems like it would make everyone happier for you to live in Ghana.
Easy for me to say and I don't know what I would do in your shoes until I was actually faced with that situation.
It is such a private decision, not sure we all would totally understand the whole circumstances.

I would definitely want what is best for the child and if she is attached to her father then perhaps waiting until she

is older to make her own decision would be helpful.
If you live in the US and your BF does not want to live here then what do you plan to do ?
Are you considering petitioning him anyway and hope he will like it here ?
Even in that case, it takes a long time until he would be actually approved and I would just stay in Ghana for a few more years.

[Zee Bee 61]

Its a hard decision to make. I think at the end of the day you need to do what makes the most people happy. If you have the means/ability I would say try it out for some time (like a year) and see how you feel about it.

Good luck in whatever you do.

[patient2010 93]

That would be a tough call good luck in whatever decision you make.....

[GAFL 16]

Well wishes to you on this difficult decision. I have to admit though I am excited for your daughter to be learning two cultures . ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!