Why the Vitriol toward those who follow K-1 procedures.

[shell20 746]

I think what it equates to at the end of the day is that we are all going through the same anxiety, stress and worry!!!! Some more than others. It doesn't matter what visa we are applying for we are all on our own journeys I don't feel animosity to any one, whichever route they decided to take to get. I wish them all well. I j do however feel sad for the people who have a long haul, the people who have to wait months or sometimes years to get the end result. Being apart from my fiance for months is awful, but if that was extended to months and months or years, I just don't know how I would get through it.

[Bugs 455]

I haven't seen any of that towards me during any time while getting our K-1 visa. But you are fairly new, so perhaps you got it from one or two posts of someone being an a** towards someone else. It's not indicative of the general tone of the forum however.

It's sound advice, too, to tell those to not attempt to enter the US on a tourist visa with an intent to marry or file AOS. Many have gotten in trouble for attempting that very thing. A search will reveal this to you.

[Jawaree 717]

Mate, it's an Aston. Those are sympathetic looks and not jealous ones.

[Husakovic 31]

Most of the times, the bitterness is because some people advice to do something that is obviously not what should be done. People say to newcomers, "oh, yeah, go back home and file for K1, or for IR/CR". And it is BAD advice most of the times (though not all). And that is bad. It is like saying, "since I had to wait a lot, everyone should wait a lot". AOS exists for a reason, and it is pointless to discuss if it is ethical or not. It is legal, and that is the only thing that matters. I have all the respect that you are talking about for people that had to wait a lot, you can't imagine how much respect I have, it sounds amazing to me what they endure. But I lose a lot of that respect when they give WRONG advice (and most of the times, they know it is wrong). That's all

This is probably the most honest post I've ever read on this forum. This is what makes me bitter right now. While I was back in Bosnia this whole summer with my then fiancee, we were researching forums, especially this one, for weeks! And all the advice we got was NOT to go the tourist AOS route but to be "completelly honest" to USCIS and go the legal route! So after they scared us *****less of course we got married in Bosnia and here we are now...I havent seen my husband in 6 weeks and God knows how long we will be apart! To make matters worse the processing time for a CR1 VISA isn't six to eleven months anymore but 1+ years! So after all this my final conclusion is that JEALOUSY was the reason for the "foul" advice we were given. ;I wish we had applied for a tourist visa and then gotten married here...if only I could go back in time...and this is my advice for everyone who is still deciding which visa to choose. Good luck to you all!

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

This is probably the most honest post I've ever read on this forum. This is what makes me bitter right now. While I was back in Bosnia this whole summer with my then fiancee, we were researching forums, especially this one, for weeks! And all the advice we got was NOT to go the tourist AOS route but to be "completelly honest" to USCIS and go the legal route! So after they scared us *****less of course we got married in Bosnia and here we are now...I havent seen my husband in 6 weeks and God knows how long we will be apart! To make matters worse the processing time for a CR1 VISA isn't six to eleven months anymore but 1+ years! So after all this my final conclusion is that JEALOUSY was the reason for the "foul" advice we were given. ;I wish we had applied for a tourist visa and then gotten married here...if only I could go back in time...and this is my advice for everyone who is still deciding which visa to choose. Good luck to you all!

Getting a tourist visa with the express purpose of immigrating on it is illegal. It is not an option. Don't feel bad, because you were wanting to do fraud. It's better to not do fraud.

[JRF 117]

But don't hold it against someone for taking an avenue that is perfectly legal to take. I'm tired of hearing it and don't care what anyone else thinks about how my wife and I did our AOS. USCIS had no problem with it and that's all that matters.

- - - - - -

Yes Teddy, I understand that many here have done a perfectly proper AOS in accordance with allowable rules, etc.

And yes, I understand that it could be tiresome hearing from those who are jealous.

However, since the AOS in country folks have had a much easier time of it compared to the K-1 folks . . . it just seems to me that they could bite their tongue endlessly, forgo the anger toward the K-1 folks, and just thank their lucky stars that they did not have to go through the process with their loved ones in another country.

When I am driving my Aston Martin, I just have to endure the jealous looks and comments from most others without a cross word to them or a cross look to them because . . . I am the one, in fact, driving the Aston Martin!!!!

I saw a black DBS in traffic yesterday...nice car!

[r060106 109]

To make matters worse the processing time for a CR1 VISA isn't six to eleven months anymore but 1+ years!

Yes, CR/IRs are going through hell on earth right now and there appears to be no end in sight as to how long we will have to wait to be with our loved ones. The only thing we get upset about is that others don't appear to have any empathy for our plight and that the waiting time isn't equalized for everyone. It's not that we're blaming K-1s and others per se, but rather are getting upset at the fact that they don't appear to care and have rubbed it in our faces on the IR-1/CR-1 threads that they're getting approved faster than us. It's all very cold and callous. I won't name names.

[Cathi 5,716]

Most of the times, the bitterness is because some people advice to do something that is obviously not what should be done. People say to newcomers, "oh, yeah, go back home and file for K1, or for IR/CR". And it is BAD advice most of the times (though not all). And that is bad. It is like saying, "since I had to wait a lot, everyone should wait a lot". AOS exists for a reason, and it is pointless to discuss if it is ethical or not. It is legal, and that is the only thing that matters. I have all the respect that you are talking about for people that had to wait a lot, you can't imagine how much respect I have, it sounds amazing to me what they endure. But I lose a lot of that respect when they give WRONG advice (and most of the times, they know it is wrong). That's all

This is probably the most honest post I've ever read on this forum. This is what makes me bitter right now. While I was back in Bosnia this whole summer with my then fiancee, we were researching forums, especially this one, for weeks! And all the advice we got was NOT to go the tourist AOS route but to be "completelly honest" to USCIS and go the legal route! So after they scared us *****less of course we got married in Bosnia and here we are now...I havent seen my husband in 6 weeks and God knows how long we will be apart! To make matters worse the processing time for a CR1 VISA isn't six to eleven months anymore but 1+ years! So after all this my final conclusion is that JEALOUSY was the reason for the "foul" advice we were given. ;I wish we had applied for a tourist visa and then gotten married here...if only I could go back in time...and this is my advice for everyone who is still deciding which visa to choose. Good luck to you all!

Why so you could follow all the other people who came with clear intent to marry, aos and break the law?

[Cathi 5,716]

I've been floating around this board 24 hours or so and it seems the opposite has been the case. Well, maybe not "vitriol", but I sense those who are going / or have gone through the long fiance/spouse process are laying down the law quite abruptly to those pursuing AOS, instilling fear into them accusing them of "visa fraud" etc. They are often misrepresenting the laws, so of course the people accused of fraud and threatened with seperation from their loved ones get agitated and bite back.

Let me clear up this "intent" issue. Visa fraud pertaining to a pre-meditated "intent to marry" means this:

Somebody decides they want to try and move to the USA. They come in on a tourist visa with an intent to find a wife or engage in a sham marriage. That is intent to abuse a tourist visa. Coming in on a tourist visa to be with your loved one (who you met legitimately) and then marrying and adjusting - is not visa fraud. Immigration's only concern is that the marriage is legitimate and the tourist did not come in with the plan to "find a wife" -- that is the "intent".

For someone who has only been looking at these boards for 24 hours, you seem to know it all. "Eye roll"

Your statement is 100% wrong and misleading. Before you go saying that coming to the US on the WVP or visitor visa with CLEAR intent to marry is legal, you may want to stick around a bit longer. It is illegal, period. End of story.

Edited November 19, 2013 by mimolicious

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I've actually seen more vitriol from spousal visas to K1. Enough that any comment from a K1 is not welcome in their forum section. Multiple comments that their relationships are more bonafide than K1 and spousal visas should go first. I don't understand all the hate and negativity just because someone got the visa first instead of married. Comments like that make a lot of people feel not welcomed here.

Well a lot of posters are coming into the spousal visa section where people are unhappy about the wait and saying unnecessarily smarmy and irritating things like "immigration is a privilege not a right" and "complaining won't change anything" ad nauseum. Some of these people had less than 100 days to wait for NOA2 so show some empathy or to use a British phrase, wind your bloody necks in (shut up) There are also K1 filers talking about how glad they are that they went for the K1 in our CR1 threads. So its hardly surprising that you get this response is it! There are CR1 filers who goad K1 filers too admittedly but you are just being hypocritical if you don't realise that it works both ways.

Edited November 19, 2013 by Hotter Otter

[ggsacks 82]

Those weren't his words, they were mine. You're splitting hairs (like people tend to on this board).

He didn't want me overstaying a tourist visa w/out plans to marry and adjust.

"She can't confirm you have plans to marry, so I'm going to have to send you on the next flight home"

If he was using trick questions then he could have ejected me as soon as I said "okay we'll marry"

He had no initial objections to marriage but wanted confirmation from her and didn't get it

It's hard to figure out the specifics of what happened to you at the port of entry but, your anecdote aside, you are definitely misunderstanding how immigrant intent works. It seems the CBP officer may have been that day too.

Immigrant intent is, simply, the intention to seek lawful permanent resident status and remain in the United States. A textbook example of this is entering the United States on the VWP to "visit" a US citizen partner, then marrying them to adjust status. While your experience may have deviated from this, it's very easy to find countless examples to back up what everyone else is telling you: that entering as a non-immigrant with the intent to marry and adjust status, regardless of whether this person may or may not be already your partner or fiance, is fraud.

Read the Immigration and Nationality Act section 214 (b). It is 100% illegal to enter the United States on the VWP or a non-immigrant visa with the intent to immigrate, UNLESS you hold a dual intent visa such as the H1. To state otherwise as fact is dangerous for anyone considering it who might stumble across your post and think it's a good idea.

[Canadatousa 7]

Well a lot of posters are coming into the spousal visa section where people are unhappy about the wait and saying unnecessarily smarmy and irritating things like "immigration is a privilege not a right" and "complaining won't change anything" ad nauseum. Some of these people had less than 100 days to wait for NOA2 so show some empathy or to use a British phrase, wind your bloody necks in (shut up) There are also K1 filers talking about how glad they are that they went for the K1 in our CR1 threads. So its hardly surprising that you get this response is it! There are CR1 filers who goad K1 filers too admittedly but you are just being hypocritical if you don't realise that it works both ways.

Wind your bloody necks in. I love that!

[r060106 109]

Well a lot of posters are coming into the spousal visa section where people are unhappy about the wait and saying unnecessarily smarmy and irritating things like "immigration is a privilege not a right" and "complaining won't change anything" ad nauseum. Some of these people had less than 100 days to wait for NOA2 so show some empathy or to use a British phrase, wind your bloody necks in (shut up) There are also K1 filers talking about how glad they are that they went for the K1 in our CR1 threads. So its hardly surprising that you get this response is it! There are CR1 filers who goad K1 filers too admittedly but you are just being hypocritical if you don't realise that it works both ways.

You make many good points. Well said.

[Soul Mates 44]

It's hard to show empathy when the choice of visa means you are open to attacks, relationship is attacked as lesser because the marriage will happen after the visa. Empathy posts shot down because how can your wait for your K1 give you any idea about spousal waits. Posts about trying to do petitions or get the word out attacked because the poster just filed and hasn't suffered the wait so who are they to be outraged at the potential wait? Just because we haven't been through the wait doesn't mean we have no idea what it's like. I'm sure we understand more than a random person who has never dealt with the immigration system or been forced to be apart because of any wait. My heart hurts seeing the wait times for spousal visas and I would love to do what I can to help. The problem is my empathy will be attacked because my wait was only 5 months and I filed K1, my help is unwanted because I didn't do spousal or wait +1 years, and my relationship will be insulted because I'm not yet married.

[r060106 109]

It's hard to show empathy when the choice of visa means you are open to attacks, relationship is attacked as lesser because the marriage will happen after the visa. Empathy posts shot down because how can your wait for your K1 give you any idea about spousal waits. Posts about trying to do petitions or get the word out attacked because the poster just filed and hasn't suffered the wait so who are they to be outraged at the potential wait? Just because we haven't been through the wait doesn't mean we have no idea what it's like. I'm sure we understand more than a random person who has never dealt with the immigration system or been forced to be apart because of any wait. My heart hurts seeing the wait times for spousal visas and I would love to do what I can to help. The problem is my empathy will be attacked because my wait was only 5 months and I filed K1, my help is unwanted because I didn't do spousal or wait +1 years, and my relationship will be insulted because I'm not yet married.

Well don't count me among those who have attacked you because of your decreased wait, because that is not my goal and is not something I have done or will do. I appreciate your empathy and wish you luck in being with your loved one.