Why the Vitriol toward those who follow K-1 procedures.

[Leo7777 243]

I am relatively new here, but have noted the extreme vitriol directed toward those who are (or have) following the time consuming and lengthy process of the Fiance visa route.

These people are under the tremendous stress and heartbreak of being away from their loved ones during the process.

These persons see others who marry their loved ones while in USA on Student or Tourist visas.

Those following the K-1 route note that those who marry the students and tourists get to spend the AOS process IN THE COMPANY OF THEIR LOVED ONES, while they must be content with emails, phone calls, Skype and a possible expensive trip.

Surely the Student and Tourist visa marriages must understand the extreme asymptotic treatment that the K-1 folks are being subjected to compared to their own treatment.

And yet, when the K-1 folks advise the Student and Tourist marriages to return back home and do it the proper way . . . the Student and Tourist folks become enraged when it is suggested they undertake something as difficult and heart breaking as the K-1 folks are going through.

Sure, the Student and Tourist folks fall back on the idea that they had no 'prior intent.'

But we all know this is a load of hoooeeey in a percentage (neither I nor anyone else knows the percentage) of the cases.

What it seems to boil down to is this:

Those who can easily get tourist visa to come to USA, or who come from countries not needing a tourist visa; they take the tourist visa route to come to USA to marry their loved ones, and live together with their loved one while going through the AOS process.

Those who are in countries where it is difficult to get tourist visa to come to USA are forced to follow the K-1 route.

So is it asking too much that the privileged Tourist or Waiver folks who did, in fact, have prior intent show a HUGE amount of empathy for their K-1 brethern?

And isn't the empathy called for even from those folks who truly had no prior intent?

Sure, those with prior intent aren't going to admit that here . . . but can't the righteous indignation be toned down a bit?

Just asking.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I am relatively new here, but have noted the extreme vitriol directed toward those who are (or have) following the time consuming and lengthy process of the Fiance visa route.

These people are under the tremendous stress and heartbreak of being away from their loved ones during the process.

These persons see others who marry their loved ones while in USA on Student or Tourist visas.

Those following the K-1 route note that those who marry the students and tourists get to spend the AOS process IN THE COMPANY OF THEIR LOVED ONES, while they must be content with emails, phone calls, Skype and a possible expensive trip.

Surely the Student and Tourist visa marriages must understand the extreme asymptotic treatment that the K-1 folks are being subjected to compared to their own treatment.

And yet, when the K-1 folks advise the Student and Tourist marriages to return back home and do it the proper way . . . the Student and Tourist folks become enraged when it is suggested they undertake something as difficult and heart breaking as the K-1 folks are going through.

Sure, the Student and Tourist folks fall back on the idea that they had no 'prior intent.'

But we all know this is a load of hoooeeey in a percentage (neither I nor anyone else knows the percentage) of the cases.

What it seems to boil down to is this:

Those who can easily get tourist visa to come to USA, or who come from countries not needing a tourist visa; they take the tourist visa route to come to USA to marry their loved ones, and live together with their loved one while going through the AOS process.

Those who are in countries where it is difficult to get tourist visa to come to USA are forced to follow the K-1 route.

So is it asking too much that the privileged Tourist or Waiver folks who did, in fact, have prior intent show a HUGE amount of empathy for their K-1 brethern?

And isn't the empathy called for even from those folks who truly had no prior intent?

Sure, those with prior intent aren't going to admit that here . . . but can't the righteous indignation be toned down a bit?

Just asking.

It's just human nature. There will always be some rationale that would help explain why they did what they did (being K1, CR1, VWP, B1 or anything else) and took the best possible advantage of the situation, after all, USCIS is all messed up, right?

And then, there would more animosity because the ones still waiting would say the the ones already in AOS or ROC don't have to endure the wait, forgetting that a great majority did endure it, sometimes with additional times if in AP.

And that is one reason why is difficult to have cohesion in this forum, everyone here wants their case to be resolved yesterday whatever it takes; and if that means someone else will have to be pushed down the line, well, "I've already waited my fair share", which I understand, I wanted mine that way too.

And behind all this, USCIS can't keep up, maybe their fault, but I'm willing to believe that there is some direction coming from the Executive, direct or indirect.

Now, let the flames begin.

[Leo7777 243]

I meant to type 'asymmetrical treatment' rather than 'asymptotic treatment.'

[Merrytooth 5,748]

We should encourage those VWP / B1-B2 visa to AOS here in US. The more the merrier...

Hopefully the USCIS will wake up someday and put a ban to all these craps..

And then everybody will have to do same procedures under the same queue, taking a even longer time.

How is that sound to you?

[Franciscus 32]

I am relatively new here, but have noted the extreme vitriol directed toward those who are (or have) following the time consuming and lengthy process of the Fiance visa route.

These people are under the tremendous stress and heartbreak of being away from their loved ones during the process.

These persons see others who marry their loved ones while in USA on Student or Tourist visas.

Those following the K-1 route note that those who marry the students and tourists get to spend the AOS process IN THE COMPANY OF THEIR LOVED ONES, while they must be content with emails, phone calls, Skype and a possible expensive trip.

Surely the Student and Tourist visa marriages must understand the extreme asymptotic treatment that the K-1 folks are being subjected to compared to their own treatment.

And yet, when the K-1 folks advise the Student and Tourist marriages to return back home and do it the proper way . . . the Student and Tourist folks become enraged when it is suggested they undertake something as difficult and heart breaking as the K-1 folks are going through.

Sure, the Student and Tourist folks fall back on the idea that they had no 'prior intent.'

But we all know this is a load of hoooeeey in a percentage (neither I nor anyone else knows the percentage) of the cases.

What it seems to boil down to is this:

Those who can easily get tourist visa to come to USA, or who come from countries not needing a tourist visa; they take the tourist visa route to come to USA to marry their loved ones, and live together with their loved one while going through the AOS process.

Those who are in countries where it is difficult to get tourist visa to come to USA are forced to follow the K-1 route.

So is it asking too much that the privileged Tourist or Waiver folks who did, in fact, have prior intent show a HUGE amount of empathy for their K-1 brethern?

And isn't the empathy called for even from those folks who truly had no prior intent?

Sure, those with prior intent aren't going to admit that here . . . but can't the righteous indignation be toned down a bit?

Just asking.

Most of the times, the bitterness is because some people advice to do something that is obviously not what should be done. People say to newcomers, "oh, yeah, go back home and file for K1, or for IR/CR". And it is BAD advice most of the times (though not all). And that is bad. It is like saying, "since I had to wait a lot, everyone should wait a lot". AOS exists for a reason, and it is pointless to discuss if it is ethical or not. It is legal, and that is the only thing that matters. I have all the respect that you are talking about for people that had to wait a lot, you can't imagine how much respect I have, it sounds amazing to me what they endure. But I lose a lot of that respect when they give WRONG advice (and most of the times, they know it is wrong). That's all.

[Soul Froosh 31]

I've been floating around this board 24 hours or so and it seems the opposite has been the case. Well, maybe not "vitriol", but I sense those who are going / or have gone through the long fiance/spouse process are laying down the law quite abruptly to those pursuing AOS, instilling fear into them accusing them of "visa fraud" etc. They are often misrepresenting the laws, so of course the people accused of fraud and threatened with seperation from their loved ones get agitated and bite back.

Let me clear up this "intent" issue. Visa fraud pertaining to a pre-meditated "intent to marry" means this:

Somebody decides they want to try and move to the USA. They come in on a tourist visa with an intent to find a wife or engage in a sham marriage. That is intent to abuse a tourist visa. Coming in on a tourist visa to be with your loved one (who you met legitimately) and then marrying and adjusting - is not visa fraud. Immigration's only concern is that the marriage is legitimate and the tourist did not come in with the plan to "find a wife" -- that is the "intent".

[Teddy B 17,251]

I am relatively new here, but have noted the extreme vitriol directed toward those who are (or have) following the time consuming and lengthy process of the Fiance visa route.

These people are under the tremendous stress and heartbreak of being away from their loved ones during the process.

These persons see others who marry their loved ones while in USA on Student or Tourist visas.

Those following the K-1 route note that those who marry the students and tourists get to spend the AOS process IN THE COMPANY OF THEIR LOVED ONES, while they must be content with emails, phone calls, Skype and a possible expensive trip.

Surely the Student and Tourist visa marriages must understand the extreme asymptotic treatment that the K-1 folks are being subjected to compared to their own treatment.

And yet, when the K-1 folks advise the Student and Tourist marriages to return back home and do it the proper way . . . the Student and Tourist folks become enraged when it is suggested they undertake something as difficult and heart breaking as the K-1 folks are going through.

Sure, the Student and Tourist folks fall back on the idea that they had no 'prior intent.'

But we all know this is a load of hoooeeey in a percentage (neither I nor anyone else knows the percentage) of the cases.

What it seems to boil down to is this:

Those who can easily get tourist visa to come to USA, or who come from countries not needing a tourist visa; they take the tourist visa route to come to USA to marry their loved ones, and live together with their loved one while going through the AOS process.

Those who are in countries where it is difficult to get tourist visa to come to USA are forced to follow the K-1 route.

So is it asking too much that the privileged Tourist or Waiver folks who did, in fact, have prior intent show a HUGE amount of empathy for their K-1 brethern?

And isn't the empathy called for even from those folks who truly had no prior intent?

Sure, those with prior intent aren't going to admit that here . . . but can't the righteous indignation be toned down a bit?

Just asking.

I have never seen any vitiriol from those who AOS here in the states towards anyone else here whether it be fiance or marriage visa seekers. It's always the other way around. The ones who AOS here in the states are endlessly defending themselves against charges of fraud. It starts with the jealousy from some of the fiance and marriage visa folks who've had to wait while apart. You even said it yourself in the bold lettering.

I have empathy for anyone in a long distance relationship, it's one of the hardest things anyone could do. But don't hold it against someone for taking an avenue that is perfectly legal to take. I'm tired of hearing it and don't care what anyone else thinks about how my wife and I did our AOS. USCIS had no problem with it and that's all that matters.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Let me clear up this "intent" issue. Visa fraud pertaining to a pre-meditated "intent to marry" means this:

Somebody decides they want to try and move to the USA. They come in on a tourist visa with an intent to find a wife or engage in a sham marriage. That is intent to abuse a tourist visa. Coming in on a tourist visa to be with your loved one (who you met legitimately) and then marrying and adjusting - is not visa fraud. Immigration's only concern is that the marriage is legitimate and the tourist did not come in with the plan to "find a wife" -- that is the "intent".

This doesn't clear it up because it is incorrect. It comes down to the intent to immigrate on a non-immigrant tourist visa, at the time of POE. It doesn't only refer to sham marriages. Also, intent to marry isn't illegal.

I don't see anyone being mean to K-1 people, OP. Maybe you made some typo switcheroos?

I also don't think most people in this AOS-other forum had intent.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[Soul Froosh 31]

This doesn't clear it up because it is incorrect. It comes down to the intent to immigrate on a non-immigrant tourist visa, at the time of POE. It doesn't only refer to sham marriages. Also, intent to marry isn't illegal.

I don't see anyone being mean to K-1 people, OP. Maybe you made some typo switcheroos?

I also don't think most people in this AOS-other forum had intent.

Well explain this then:

When I was grilled by an immigration officer coming in to see my girlfriend, and I told him we had no plan to marry and adjust, THAT WENT AGAINST ME. That was what set off all the alarm bells. He just didn't want me coming in on a tourist visa and overstaying without adjusting it. Then when I backed down and said "okay, we'll marry and adjust", he called my girlfriend to ask if she had any plans to marry me (which she couldn't confirm). He would have been perfectly happy had I told him we were going to marry and then she'd confirmed that on the phone. All he wanted to know was that our relationship was legitimate, that we planned to marry and pursue the correct visa, and that I wasn't working illegally on a tourist visa. Had I said we planned to marry (on the tourist visa) and I had proved that via a phone call from my girlfriend, he was prepared to let me through no problems.

You all have this "intent" issue wrong. It's the intent to come in on a tourist visa and ACTIVELY LOOK FOR A WIFE to abuse the system.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Nick Loves Rosie

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Well explain this then:

When I was grilled by an immigration officer coming in to see my girlfriend, and I told him we had no plan to marry and adjust, THAT WENT AGAINST ME. That was what set off all the alarm bells. He just didn't want me coming in on a tourist visa and overstaying without adjusting it. Then when I backed down and said "okay, we'll marry and adjust", he called my girlfriend to ask if she had any plans to marry me (which she couldn't confirm). He would have been perfectly happy had I told him we were going to marry and then she'd confirmed that on the phone. All he wanted to know was that our relationship was legitimate, that we planned to marry and pursue the correct visa, and that I wasn't working illegally on a tourist visa. Had I said we planned to marry (on the tourist visa) and I had proved that via a phone call from my girlfriend, he was prepared to let me through no problems.

You all have this "intent" issue wrong. It's the intent to come in on a tourist visa and ACTIVELY LOOK FOR A WIFE to abuse the system.

No mate, you've got many points wrong. You misinterpreted what happened to you, and you think it applies to all people.

Why do new people think they have it all figured out when senior members have hashed this topic to death for years?

I don't want to argue, but I am on the side of getting the right information to folks, and this isn't it.

You say "pursue the correct visa." Yeah, AOS is not a visa. He wanted you to say you'd be leaving and filing CR-1.

[Soul Froosh 31]

You say "pursue the correct visa." Yeah, AOS is not a visa. He wanted you to say you'd be leaving and filing CR-1

Those weren't his words, they were mine. You're splitting hairs (like people tend to on this board).

He didn't want me overstaying a tourist visa w/out plans to marry and adjust.

"She can't confirm you have plans to marry, so I'm going to have to send you on the next flight home"

If he was using trick questions then he could have ejected me as soon as I said "okay we'll marry"

He had no initial objections to marriage but wanted confirmation from her and didn't get it

Edited November 18, 2013 by Nick Loves Rosie

[Leo7777 243]

But don't hold it against someone for taking an avenue that is perfectly legal to take. I'm tired of hearing it and don't care what anyone else thinks about how my wife and I did our AOS. USCIS had no problem with it and that's all that matters.

- - - - - -

Yes Teddy, I understand that many here have done a perfectly proper AOS in accordance with allowable rules, etc.

And yes, I understand that it could be tiresome hearing from those who are jealous.

However, since the AOS in country folks have had a much easier time of it compared to the K-1 folks . . . it just seems to me that they could bite their tongue endlessly, forgo the anger toward the K-1 folks, and just thank their lucky stars that they did not have to go through the process with their loved ones in another country.

When I am driving my Aston Martin, I just have to endure the jealous looks and comments from most others without a cross word to them or a cross look to them because . . . I am the one, in fact, driving the Aston Martin!!!!

[tarzan1961 0]

I have and still am enduring the wait for my k1 visa I have no hard feelings toward anybody who took a different route to achieve what it is I long for. I do know that if myself and my fiancé can endure the process required for the k1 visa then we will remain together in love for the rest of our lives so I welcome the challenges that lay ahead after all it is only a test of our love and our faith as a couple

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

When I am driving my Aston Martin, I just have to endure the jealous looks and comments from most others without a cross word to them or a cross look to them because . . . I am the one, in fact, driving the Aston Martin!!!!

Mate, it's an Aston. Those are sympathetic looks and not jealous ones.

[Soul Mates 44]

I've actually seen more vitriol from spousal visas to K1. Enough that any comment from a K1 is not welcome in their forum section. Multiple comments that their relationships are more bonafide than K1 and spousal visas should go first. I don't understand all the hate and negativity just because someone got the visa first instead of married. Comments like that make a lot of people feel not welcomed here.

Edited November 19, 2013 by Soul Mates